The Memoirs

Smallville was raining. A steady, soft sheet of light, misty rain was falling onto the budding earth, nourishing plants and flowers, trees and grass. The wind was cool and soft, the ripe scent of flowers flowing in through the open patio doors of the bedroom Dominic and Lionel shared.

The gauzy silk curtains blow tenderly in, flickering past clothes strewn and shoes forgotten. A deep pair of brown pants sat haphazardly over a chair back... shoes and briefcases pushed against the side of the desk. Paperwork for the day waited, but neither occupant of the room acknowledged it.

He was lying on his belly, bare, long back and backside exposed to the soft morning air. His lover, with all his long, deep, chestnut hair, lay over his pillow. Soft lips and quiet smiles, very tender words spoken, whispered under the perfect crystal beauty of a morning such as this. They'd awoken to the rain, and its enormous rainbow disappearing over the trees, and when Dominic's deep green eyes had fluttered open, he could have sworn he was home. And just for a little while, he could pretend he was.

Lionel remained on his back, one hand idly stroking his husband's flank gently as he breathed in the scent of rain-kissed roses from the garden, and from further out, the barest hint of wet lilac on the breeze.

His eyes were open, watching his lover luxuriate in the quiet before the day's chaos began. And he knew it would be chaos; he didn't begrudge Dominic this quiet time. He himself wasn't looking forward to it, but knew it could not be avoided.

Instead, he drew in deep breaths of the rain-washed air, pulling the cleansed feeling inside himself before expelling again.

His eyes were closed, sandy blond hair mussed and up in a hundred different ways. His goatee was rumpled... the lone sock that had remained on his feet rubbing softly against Lionel's. They'd been awake for some time, an hour or more, and in his heart he heard the splashing of waves and the albatrosses singing the day. The fishermen from down the quarry calling out to one another...in later years, a single voice he'd stopped listening for. Laughter and fun, skipping school to go and dip into the cool, clear water the first day of spring. Oh, and he'd had his first share of colds from it, as his mother had beat his behind in for.

He was desperately, painfully homesick, in a way he hadn't been in for a long time. But it was as if the Great Deity was giving him this slice of it, of home, just for this moment. And he luxuriated in it.

Lionel slowly rubbed his foot back against the socked foot rubbing him. He didn't know what Dominic was thinking about, but he could imagine. He hadn't even stirred from bed to get coffee, breakfast... not even a shower.

Lionel wasn't going to move so long as Dominic didn't move. Yesterday's long silence and the fact they'd gone to bed without speaking had terrified Lionel more than he'd realized he could be, and he wouldn't tell Dominic how frightened he'd been. When he'd woken during the night to find his lover touching him, that had been the most beautiful experience he'd ever hand, and even now his heart swelled as he thought of it.

Not a movement... not a word. The gentle rain was pattering against the tiles of the patio, and the soft, welcome noise reminded him of the rain falling, thudding quietly on the porch by his bedroom. He'd always kept the window open in the spring and fall months, just to listen to the rain. It brought him vitality, strength, serenity to a cluttered, constantly moving and highly intelligent mind. It was always those snatches of peace that he felt made him human... made him sane. And it was the rain that had kept him alive, all these years.

His lover was in his own deep, quiet thoughts, and he opened his eyes finally, focusing on his lovers face where he was thinking, too. And just because he could, he reached out and skimmed his thumb over the soft angle and swell of his husbands chin, tracing the scratchy, tender little hairs down for a little bit.

At the soft touch, Lionel flipped his eyes and his awareness onto his husband, and gave Dominic a small smile. "Good morning, Jiminy," he said softly. "Did you sleep well?"

Quiet nod, and a crooked smile to go with it, cheek resting softly on the warm, downy pillows as his fingers continued, down his lovers throat...and finally came to rest on the quietly rising and falling chest. He stroked his thumb softly through soft chest hairs and skin, no where in particular, as he kept his sleepy green eyes on Lionel. "Mm hmm. You?"

"Much better during the late part of the night," he admitted with a grin that softened around the edges. "I want you to do something for me today."

His eyes brightened, twinkling as he nodded, thumb going back up to stroke over lips he'd felt swollen and kissed against his own, as they'd apologized and fell asleep where they should have been. And decided that no moment of his life had been better than the one he was experiencing right now. "If it involves any raw meat of some kind, than no dice."

Lionel kissed the stroking thumb, chuckling softly. "No, no raw meat." He raised his fingertips to stroke over Dominic's wrist. "Wear your cufflinks today, to the interview."

"Okay." No questions of why, just simple affirmation as his eyes narrowed, raising up on one elbow as he leaned forward to gently press his lips against his lovers. His thumb stroked the corners of both of their lips as they kissed, tenderly, and his palm cupped the warm cheek as he did so. "Promise me it'll go okay."

Lionel didn't answer at first, returning the kiss and taking another before smiling up at his lover. "It will go fine," he said confidently. "We will be fine."

He squirmed a moment, slipping between his lovers legs and resting against his chest, cheek sitting softly on Lionel's belly. The sun was just breaking through the clouds, birds chirping their disbelief at the rain impeding on their perfect day, and didn't say anything as Lionel's heart beat under his ear and the rain fell, echoing in the other. Almost in sync together, and he had a soft, startling thought. His father, a few days before he'd died, had taken he and his sister to the market together. He'd already been having problems, breathing and chest pain, but he and Megan had been so young that they hadn't realized what was happening.

But that morning had been for Megan, his dad and himself, and his father had said something to them that Dominic recalled now. His sister had been whining because her little boyfriend from school had dumped her, and after roaring with laughter, his papa had taken them both in his arms and hugged. "The one that's for you will have the music of the land in his heart."

Which, as Dominic looked up, chin resting above his lovers navel, made him smile.

Lionel's hand slipped down and stroked the side of his lover's face, wondering what was bringing the smile to his face. But he didn't ask, at first, just watching him smile and drinking it in as they lay in bed together.

"I am, buck-o, quite hungry. And.." He reached up, slipping up just a little to take the alarm off just as it came on. "I believe... pancakes, syrup, and bad coffee are in order." His lips twitched as he kissed his lovers chest, slipping up to sit between his spread thighs and bring the knees up and around him, close. Not to tease but just to sit with his love, smiling at him as he propped his chin on his beloved's knee.

"So you want to go to Denny's for breakfast, I take it?" Lionel asked, grinning at the face propped on his knee.

Innocent blink, flutter of soft lashes, as he wrapped his arm around his lovers thigh and sighed heavily and dramatically. "I was going to suggest it."

"The pancakes suggested it for you." He looked at the clock. "If you want to go to Denny's, then we are going to have to hurry, seeing as we have meetings and construction crews arriving in an hour and a half."

Sudden depressed blink, and he lay his cheek on Lionel's knee. "Mrr."

"Mrr?" Lionel repeated the noise as best he could.

"Mm. Between a mutter and a growl. Mrr." Dominic repeated, bringing his own knee up and rubbing his inner thigh on the outside of Lionel's. "I've a feeling that today is going to be outstandingly horrific, you know." A moment, as he reached out and took Lionel's palm in his own, leaning over to kiss their twined fingers. "Whatever I say today, its out of temper, not anger."

Lionel nodded softly. "I know, Dominic. I understand that, in fact." He stroked his lover's fingers gently with his own. "I am sure we are both going to be on edge, and no matter what is said, by either of us, it's not in anger." He squeezed carefully. "The next week is going to be very, very stressful. My back is already aching in empathy," he teased.

He smiled at his lover, bringing their fingers close to his own lap, setting their interlocked hands on his lovers hip as he thought, rubbing his cheek gently against his lovers upraised knee. "You know... a very smart lady told me something once. All days come from one day, and you cannot change what's over, but only where you go." A long pause, as he gazed out at the rain, the breeze blowing the gauzy curtains quietly. "I miss home, Lionel."

"Do you want to go back?" He tightened his fingers on Dominic's briefly. "I'll take you there, once everything is settled here. If that is where you want to go."

"No… beloved. My home is wherever you are. There's just a bit of homesickness in me is all. My..." A sigh, a shake of his head as he looked back outside. "I found my mother yesterday before I ate dinner with you. She...we got into a bit of a fight. She's selling the cottage, Lionel. Its been vacant for about ten years now, and she wants to be rid of it. My da... he built it with his own two hands, and I understand why its time for her to let go. But..." A shake of his head, a little harder now, and his own fingers tightened on his lovers. "It just makes me sad."

A slight glint in Lionel's eye. "Then we'll go and see it, before she sells it. Once this week from hell is done with, we will go there, you and I, as our trip to Tokyo has been cancelled due to this situation, and you will be able to say goodbye." He stroked Dominic's fingers carefully.

A nod, a soft smile, though his eyes were shiny and sad when he glanced up, kissing his lovers knee softly. "Thank you, Lionel. Id very much like you to see where I grew up... say goodbye. It's a place that provided a lot of strength for me, after…" A quiet moment. "I haven't been home in the ten years since my mother left. I don't even know what will be there."

"We'll see together." It was a firmly spoken promise. "I would very much like to see where you grew up; what kind of place produced you." He tugged lightly on what was left of Dominic's hair teasingly.

Which just made him laugh, eyes dancing down at his lover. "Are you sure you can handle all the Fitzgerald's and O'Riley's and O'Malley's and such, beloved? Not to mention the Gallagher's, you know, and the Senatori's, and my mama's family, the Finns. I'm related to the entire town." Which made him laugh even more, and lean over to kiss his lover softly, soft naked skin rubbing against soft naked skin. "Will you shower with me?"

"For you? I can handle nearly anything, including small children." He grinned up. "Of course I will shower with you. But, it will have to be a cold shower, because I need the wake-up call."

"Yeah, my fat ass. You'll be showering like a normal person." He crawled just a little, looming over him with wicked eyes and leaning down to kiss him softly, once, twice, three times. "I'll wash your back."

Lionel linked his hands at the small of Dominic's back, holding Dominic against him. "If you keep looking at me like that, then we're not going to make it as far as the shower."

"Sure, we will. Because--" Oh! Dominic's fingers immediately skimmed down his lovers slightly raised backside, and stroked over the gauzy bandage covering his bum, thumb moving over the tape as the rain started to fall a little harder outside. "How are you feeling lovely?"

Lionel gave a little smirk. "It only hurts when I sit down."

His own lips spread. "Would it be because of the bite, or from other strenuous exercises?"

Lionel crooked an eyebrow. "I'd have to admit to a little bit of both." He wiggled against Dominic. "But I'm not complaining."

His words were serious, but the silly smile dancing across his face wasn't. "Did you like it?"

"Oh, I did. I liked it... very much." He stroked up over Dominic's chest. "Once this has healed? I wouldn't mind doing it again."

"Yeah?" Oh, wicked eyes and innocent smile, as he snuggled down against his lover ever so demurely. "You like it? Really? Not the ass biting, obviously, but the... the other stuff?"

"Yeah," Lionel echoed. "I liked it. Surprising though it might seem, it's actually quite a nice welcome to come home to."

"Well... well okay." Shyly spoken as Dominic slipped from the covers, stretching his arms up… spine popping, and he heaved a yawn as he padded quietly to the patio door... stepping out, just a little and breathing in the soft spring rain, lifting his face up to it. There was forest and green for as far as the eye could see, farm land and vegetation, and the rain looked amazing as it fell, cleaning the earth with each soft drop.

And he smiled.

Lionel watched as he rose and stretched, then wrapped the sheet around his waist and followed Dominic, wrapping him in the sheet as well as he rested his chin on his lover's shoulder and looked out, eyes skipping unknowingly over the hill where his grandson was buried and the explosion of purple flowers.

Another soft smile as he lay his cheek on Lionel's temple, looking out over this beautiful place where they'd decided to make their home. He slipped his arms about his lovers arms as well, hugging them close as the birds chirped in frustration and the rain pattered from deep, clean gray skies. "I love days like this."

"I never noticed days or weather, for that matter. Despite the glass tower I work in... it is still a tower and has no access to the outside, save for windows that I never bothered to look out of."

"I know." Dominic said, the rain pattering on them as he watched the early morning awaken and rise from its sleep. "When I first came to you, I realized what a den you'd worked in. Lawrence was a toad, darling, and he needed the dark. But you... you aren't a creature of the dark, and the outside, the earth, looks beautiful on you, even in dingy Metropolis."

"I'd like to think I'm a creature of twilight... where day and night meets."

"And I'm one of dawn, when the night meets the day. And in so, we're perfect for one another." Smiled as he turned to look at him, kissing the side of his nose and underneath his eye. "Come on. Come shower with me, before you and I both catch cold."

Lionel wrapped the now-dampening sheet tightly around both their bodies, trapping the moist shared body heat between them and warming the damp sheet as it clung to them. Caught up in the warm folds of the sheet, skin wet with soft spring rain, Lionel kissed his lover softly, tasting raindrops on his lips and the sweetness of spring flowers on his tongue from where he'd inhaled the cool spring air.

Christ be to God it was the most romantic thing Dominic had ever felt, simple in its perfect beauty, and he kissed back, tipping his head just so to meet the questing mouth. He kissed his lover because he could, tender and soft but strong at the same time, tongue dipping softly in to trace the warmth of his lovers mouth. And was surprised, and outrageously pleased, when he found Lionel's mouth to still taste of him from the night before.

One palm slipped from the sheet and cupped the back of his lovers head, stroking tightly through his lovers damp hair as he kissed him, murmuring soft pleasure as they did so. The heat of the warm sheet around them made his skin tingle with goosebumps, heart melting as Lionel's mouth stroked over his own.

Lionel's arms still wound tightly around Dominic's as they stood outside on the balcony, wrapped in the wet sheet and warming one another with their kisses. The fingers in his hair was sheer pleasure and he murmured happily, arching his head back into the gently-pulling grip of his lover as he tasted. "I love you," he whispered softly.

"I love you." Dominic repeated softly into his lovers lips, kissing them tenderly as he stroked through his lovers hair, bringing him as close as they could be. He exhaled a long, soft breath, breathing in the rain and his husband, and let his eyes fall shut as the birds chirped, and Ms. Bird sang, the beautiful melody reaching them through the wind.

~ * ~ * ~

She was singing about romance, a woman abandoned by a husband and taken across the sea. It was beautiful, with her lilting words, and it broke the very heart from Clarks chest. It was raining, quietly pouring, but with each passing moment the rain fell harder.

He hadn't slept, or eaten, or moved from the chair in which he'd sat in when they'd gotten home the night before. And just listened to Ms. Bird sing, his heart cracking open as she did. He knew, the intelligent part of him, that this was natural. he was supposed to feel this way, he couldn't escape it. It was healthy to grieve.

And he just... didn't... care.

Lex had finally had to sleep. He hadn't wanted to, but he'd slept with his head at the foot of the bed, as close as he could get to Clark without sleeping on him, and had briefly considered it before getting into bed.

He woke up now to the patter of rain against the balcony window, and seeing Clark in the same position he'd been in before bothered him. It hurt him, even as he felt his own heart breaking in response to the weighty sadness of his lover. He climbed out of bed and got down on his knees between Clark's legs, looking up at him. "Come on. We'll go and talk to Jor-El."

He couldn't be faced with the image of the man who was lost to him. Just… couldn't. He felt so incredibly alone, but he didn't say it. Didn't say anything, actually, just staring out the window in front of him.

"Clark, talk to me." Lex reached up and shook Clark's shoulders gently. "Please. You can't stay like this forever."

"I don't..." His tongue slipped out to lick at dry lips, rubbing them together for a moment. "I don't... know how I'm going to make it."

"You're going to make it with me. Just like you always do. Unless, of course, you intend to go into my head and rip out the entire memory of every second of time that I have ever known you, from the instant you saved my life on."

Salt on a fresh wound and he flinched, looking away and back towards the rain, which was falling in steady streams now. "I could. If I wanted to."

"Then either do it, or get up out of that chair, because if you're going to be blank like this for much longer, I'm going to lose my mind anyway."

"I'm sorry." He gazed at his lover, fingertips stroking his cheek now, just a little. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I shouldn't have said that. I'm just--scared. I don't like when you're blank. I don't like when you're not feeling." Lex leaned into the stroking. "Let me help."

"Its my hormones." He said softly, shaking his head. "I know why I'm acting like this. I know why I can't stop. They're there. I should...should be feeding a little baby right now. Instead… I have nothing. I should have...a child to love, to take care of, to lohi'mena. Instead... nothing. And I hate the world for taking him away from me."

"You have aushna'. You have sha'nauch, jur-naie, Ameelol and Amadol. (friends, family, mother and father.) You are not alone, Clark. You have much, if you will just open yourself to them. We cannot replace Mar-El, but please... let us help you deal with the loss."

"I hurt my Amadol." Clark whispered, looking at his lover with sadness in his eyes. "I hurt him. I hurt him, very much. I took away six minutes of his life that could have changed the course of it. I took what wasn't mine away from him. I hurt my father, and I almost killed the both of you. How... how am I a good person? How? I can't stop caring, I can't just get over it, over my son. I can't stop loving him, I can't stop feeling guilty, I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop." He leaned over then, setting his head in his hands. "I can't just stop. Everything inside of me is screaming to take care of our family, and I can't because we have no family."

Lex leaned up and wrapped his arms around Clark's waist. "We may not have a child, Clark... but we have a family. We have each other, Dad, Dom, your father and mother, Chloe and Whitney. They're our friends and family." He held tightly. "Clark, nobody wants you to get over it. Nobody expects you to. I'm not over it." He leaned his cheek against Clark's hair. "I don't think you'll ever be over it, not completely. Neither will I. But we will make it. We have to."

"Its not that I don;t want to." Clark whispered into his lovers cheek, as his arms shakily went around him. "I want to. I want to be better. But I can't. Every time I try something happens, something reminds me. And then my insides get tight and I start to cry and I c... can't, I can't." He knew it was hormones. He could feel their effects all over his mind and body, and there was nothing for him. No medicine. And let his lover see his fear, as he held him tightly.

Lex soaked the fear into him, quaking gently with it as he held his lover. "Baby, I know. But we have to find a way through it. Cause neither of us can live like this."

"I want to be better." Clark whispered against his lovers skin, holding him tightly to him as the rain poured. "I want to be young again."

"I want you back." Lex clung to his lover. "I want you back." He rubbed Clark's shoulders gently. "Give me the pain, Clark. Let me have the pain and the fear, take what you need from me. I can handle it, I know I can."

Even before Lex had finished speaking, Clark was shaking his head against his lovers face, rising himself up to gaze at him. "No. Never, no. You are all I have in this world that means anything. I won't let you, Lex." He cupped his cheeks softly, and kissed him. "We have to go. Go get ready. Today we're going to the house building sight."

"You have to let me help." Lex kissed back, rubbing his cheeks into the hands that cupped them. "That's what we do for each other. I'm not going to leave you. I'll stay with you, when we get there. Help you build."

"You help." Clark said softly, as he held his lovers face, letting go and climbing to his feet. He grasped Lex's hand in his, rubbing under his lovers eyes, and kissed each cheek bone. "I love you."

"I love you," Lex answered instantly, wrapping his arms and legs around Clark's chest and waist. "I'm not letting you go."

The soft sound in his throat wasn't quite a giggle, and wasn't quite not either, as Clark rubbed his lips over his lovers ear, fingers stroking over his back. "Gotta pee, Lex. Unless you want to explore that, you can let me go for a sec."

"I'll hold it for you," Lex muttered as he moved, swinging around like a clinging monkey to hold onto Clark's back, as though he were going for a piggyback ride.

"Lex, the day I can't hold my dick to piss is the day I finally throw in the towel." Spoken quietly, though amused, as he held his lovers ass gently and set him instead on the bathroom counter. And as he turned, unzipping himself and standing before the toilet... he turned back, quietly. "Do you think I'm a coward?"

"No, Clark. I don't think you're a coward. Why would I?" Lex situated himself on the counter and kept his eyes on his lover's face. "And don't forget to wash your hands."

He shrugged a shoulder and did what he had to do, but instead of tucking himself away afterward he dropped his pants, flushing as he kicked them off and pulled his shirt from over his head. "No reason. Come shower with me."

"There's a reason," Lex said, slipping off the counter and following Clark into the shower. "Is it because of the holding your dick thing? Cause it was just a joke."

"No." Quiet shake of his head, as his sharp green eyes gazed over his lover and accepted him into the smaller shower than they'd had before. "Its... I haven't shown my worth as a mate, Lex. I know you'll say I have, but I mean... how can I ever protect you?"

Lex wrapped himself around Clark. "How can you say you haven't? You've loved me when I haven't deserved to be loved. You've forgiven me when I've done things I shouldn't be forgiven for, you brought me back to life, you taught me how to love in the first place, you gave me my father back. How can you think that you're not a worthy mate? You've saved my life, you haven't let me fall yet."

"You're a beautiful person. So much more than you could ever think. You take care of me, and love me. You're so much more amazing than you think, Lex. You love me even when I'm nothing but a high school farm boy. You love me when I have my fits of rage, you love me when you lose the one thing no one should ever lose. Lex, the more that I think of it, the more I wish I could be like you."

Lex shook his head violently. "No no no. Don't ever wish that, Clark. Don't ever wish to be like me because you are entirely too wonderful the way you are." He reached around Clark and turned on the water. "Don't wish to be anybody but you."

"I wish I was my own person. I hate waiting, I hate not... not working for what I want. I hate that I can't do anything to repay you for how good you've been to me." Clark whispered, stroking his fingertips over Lex's chest softly as the hot water cascaded over them. He was so lost; so lonely. "I love you."

"You do repay me, Clark." He looked up at his lover in the shower. "You love me."

He turned around his lover, moving and setting his cheek against his lovers back, where the third lung fluttered quietly. "Lex?"

"Yeah?"

"When you're ready, give your dad and Dominic their baby."

Lex turned around and looked at Clark. "All the paperwork and theory is done. I did it... I did it when I locked myself in the lab after--after Mar-El. I just... have to do the physical work. And if you let me borrow your speed... I can have it done in days."

A soft nod, quietly as he reached up and touched his lovers damp cheek. "They want more than anyone on this earth, Lex. I can tell they do. And they need...I want them to have the happiness we didn't. Your dad... and Dominic. They deserve it, after so much, Lex. They... they went through things worse than what we're going through right now, and they still... they love. They're stronger than you, and me, and anyone else. They found the courage, and they love each other, Lex. If they can love....I can love." Quietly, as he stroked Lex's chest softly. "Give them their baby."

Lex nodded. "I'll start when we get home tonight." He looked up at Clark. "If you want... we can... I mean, I know Judge Ross does some family court work, she'd know of any children that needed homes."

"No." Softly, closing his eyes and shaking his head and setting it on his lovers. "Its not our time. When it is, we'll know." He swallowed hard and stroked his babies cheek. "I love you, so much."

"I love you, Clark. I'll give you anything you want. Even if you need someone to take care of, I'll give you that, too." He wrapped his arms around Clark's in the shower. "Just tell me what I can do."

His chin trembled, hard, and he leaned forward, face burning as he burst into tears, pressing his face against Lex's shoulder. "I-I'd be h-happy if you could make me s-stop lactating."

Lex didn't laugh, didn't dare, but he let the amusement he felt filter into Clark's thoughts. "Come on. Speed us through the shower, and we'll go downstairs for a little look around until it's time to go."

He was still crying, soft, hiccupping sobs, as he raised his head and reached for the shampoo, chin trembled and eyes overflowing as he sobbed and laughed at the same time, shaky fingers opening the bottle and poured some onto his hand. "You suck."

"You've told me I suck very well," he teased, and slipped his fingers up into Clark's hair, massaging the suds through the thick strands of hair.

More sniffles as his chin dimpled and stained that way, head ducking down to his lover as he sniffled softly, rubbing his eyes against Lex's shoulder as he stroked his palms down his back, leaning down the inch or two that separated them in height as he sniffled and got the liquid soap onto his hands. He rubbed it into his lovers skin, over his shoulders, back, ass and thighs, and snuffled hard.

"Ssssh... don't cry, baby." Lex finished the shampoo in his lover's hair. "Don't cry. We'll get this taken care of, even if takes a day or so to figure it out. In the mean time, I've got a breast pump in the lab--don't ask why, it came with the sonogram machine, and I think we can get you emptied out."

Clark just... he looked horrified, eyes wide in a soapy face, and snuffled even harder, tears starting all over again as he set his cheek on his lovers shoulder. He brought Lex's fingers up, to a very tiny indent underneath his collar bone, and the area grew rosy, protruding just a little bit... a small nub, with a slit. Not a nipple, per se, though it could be classified as one, and Clark just... he wept.

Lex raised himself up on his tiptoes, and placed his mouth over the little nub. He sucked gently, feeling the cool fluid from the opening in his lover's skin flow into his mouth. There was an earthy taste, something that tasted like Clark, but the overwhelming flavor was milk. Lex hadn't had milk in ages, not until recently, and the thick liquid that poured into his mouth was delicious.

He gasped, hard, jolting as Lex put his mouth over it and he let out a keening sound… displeasure, shock, embarrassment, gratitude. His fingers viced on the back of his lovers neck and he shook his head, trying to pull back. "N... Lex, no. That's... its gross. Its really gross." The little nub was leaking, the creamy colored liquid dribbling down past his nipple, rolling towards his belly and getting washed away with the shower water.

Lex's fingers closed tightly on Clark's shoulder and held him still, putting his mouth back over the nub and sucking again. He'd known as soon as he'd seen the little opening that a pump wouldn't work, and this... he could do this, wanted to do this to help his lover. He sealed his lips back over Clark's throat, stroking him and calming him as he swallowed.

Thick, creamy, impossibly cool as it flowed from the heat of Clark's body, and it was delicious. If Clark had grown up to be built like this on human food, Lex couldn't imagine what a child borne of this milk would grow into.

Clark sobbed his heart out. Desperate sounds of sadness as his lover took what was in his body, having been waiting for Mar-El. His son, who he'd never gotten to hold to his body and feed him, his child, and he wept even harder as his knees crumbled and he brought Lex down to the shower stall floor again. His lover was doing this for him and he adored him, as he held him close, begging for him to stop even as his palms kept him close, face falling to the crown of his lovers head and sobbing.

Lex didn't even try to pull away. Instead he let his arms move so that they wrapped around Clark's chest as they fell together, eyes closed and scalp resting against Clark's cheek as he sucked, took into his body what should have nourished their son. But now, there was no child and Lex knew, Lex knew that somehow, this is what he was supposed to do for his aushna'.

This was one burden Lex could relieve him of. One hand came up to brace against Clark's chest, kneading the skin carefully around the nub, milking to the last drop the milk that flowed from Clark's body.

Every swallow slid down his throat and into his stomach, and it made him smile, even against Clark's skin, though he didn't quite know why.

His aushna' knew...that part of his culture, his soul, the people he'd come from, and Lex could feel it now. it was such a relief to him, a pleasure, and he only cried harder, leaning back against the shower wall as he held his lover close, shaking his head at the same time and whispering, "So gross, so gross, oh God, this is so gross, Lex, no, Lex."

His palms said otherwise, grasping his lover closer to his body and rocking with him, crying and holding his lover tightly to him.

"It's not gross," Lex muttered against Clark's skin, kneading and lapping slowly as the flood of milk slowed to a trickle. He kissed the little nub as it slowly retracted back into the slit and he kissed the slit again, just for good measure, leaving his head on Clark's shoulder and whispering soothing words as he cried.

"Gross, grossest thing ever, worse then molting, worse." Clark sobbed, as he brought his lovers mouth up to him for a hard kiss, twice, three times, ignoring the taste he found and kissing his lover as hard as he could. In this exact moment he felt so much... he knew his lover was there for him but hadn't believed it, and the alien part of him, the Kal-El part of him, was so insanely grateful, as he mourned. "Oakenep-El, you care fo-for me, you do not hate me, Oakenep-El, aushna', I love you, I love you."

Lex returned the kisses as hard as he could, tongue thrusting inside Clark's mouth deeply. "I have always cared for you, Kal-El, there is nothing I would not do for you." He nuzzled into the kisses, burrowing into his lover's arms.

And it was there, in the hot shower with water splashing over them, that they stayed. Thirty minutes turned into forty five… Clark fell asleep, sleeping against his lovers shoulder and neck. He felt drained, in every way possible, because the laps and licks from his lover over the opening had stopped his body from producing more, from producing more of anything, and he just… he needed to rest. It was early, seven thirty, and he was just awake enough to stroke over his lovers palm very softly, keeping him close.

Lex didn't move. He felt Clark falling asleep against him, and didn't move, didn't disturb him. Every once in a while he pressed another kiss or lick over the opening, licking up the remnants as he curled up with his beloved. His free hand stroked through Clark's wet curls, pressing his precious aushna' close to him.

"Lex?"

"Yeah, Clark?"

"Can we go to bed for a while?"

Lex nodded. "Of course. We don't have to be anywhere until nine; I'll get Dominic to call that asshole Reynolds and get you marked up for homeroom and take you straight to the job site."

"Okay." Clark rose to his feet and reached down, lifting his lover up into his arms without thinking. Tucked a naked skull close to his chest, cradling him tenderly as he walked them, wet into the bathroom. Set his lover down just long enough to dry him off with a warm, blue towel, doing the same to himself, and lifted him again.

And with each step to the bed, he seeped the stores of strength to his beautiful man, until, when he lay Lex down, he didn't have any left. He crawled in beside him, gathering him close immediately, and set his head on Lex's chest. "Lex?"

Lex just snuggled. Long ago he'd have protested being carried around like a child but now he embraced Clark's strength, wrapped it around him, cuddled into it. He ran his fingers through Clark's hair as he settled them, and kissed his temple before answering. "Yeah?"

"Don't leave me, kay?"

"Never," was the instant reply. "I won't ever leave you."

"Promise?"

"I promise. On my word as a Luthor; on my love for you."

"I love you." Murmured, from his spot on his lovers chest. His eyes closed, quietly, as he listened to his lovers heartbeat under his ear. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, aushna'." Lex ran his fingers through Clark's hair again. "And I love you."

~*~*~

"This SUCKS!" Shayla yelled again, in case any of the fifteen people gathered around her hadn't heard her the first time. "We didn't get time for breakfast, we're getting shuttled around like cows, AND IT'S RAINING OUTSIDE!!!! I DON'T WORK IN THE RAIN!"

Whitney was more than a little amused. "Shay? Darlin', lemme let you in on somethin'. Nobody cares."

"Pete, kick him for me, kay? Last time I did I about broke my fuckin' toes," she snarled. "I bet you're having all the fun in the world."

Whitney just petted her on the head. "Somebody missed their morning caffeine injection."

Hah. Chloe wasn't any better, and she raised a leg from her chair and thumped her lover on the butt with the side of it. She was half asleep, yawning every five minutes, sweater and tights in place. Big yellow hiking boots and a fanny pack.

She'd decided on a MUCH more chic outfit, but when Whitney had come to get her, he'd made her change. Ass. So now she was sitting there, a fashion disaster, hair all up in an ugly bun, t-shirt on under her sweater chafing her.

Dammit.

Yeah, Pete snickered. He'd been out helping his dad since the crack of dawn, and he rubbed his somewhat dirty palms on the rag he had in his hands, where he'd been helping the crew get a few tools in the back of the truck. The girls were waiting in the cafeteria, who's doors were open and the trucks were waiting outside to take them on to the sight. Five minutes until the class bell rang, and he put his arm around his girlfriends shoulder, giving her furious cheek a kiss. "Would you rather be sitting in chemistry?"

"I'd rather not be out in the rain working!!" she yelled. Then she sobered. "Maybe they'll let me do something inside. Like lay carpet. I've helped Graham do it before. I can do that, easy." But she was still pouting. "And they better have coffee or cokes there."

Chloe gave a hard huff, looking down at her poor nails which were sure to be broken post haste. "You know, this is not cool. We are not cattle. And yet, look. We are being herded around like cattle! I am not a cow! I refuse to be led anywhere by the scruff! Even if it is for LuthorCorp, what has Lionel Luthor ever done for me, dammit?"

"Given your dad a place to work? Gave your dad a raise? Half pay--" Whitney cringed under his girlfriend's evil glare. "I'm suddenly realizing that was a rhetorical question."

"And one more word out of you revokes all sex rights." Chloe affirmed, setting her chin on her hand and heaving a sigh. "Communists. This sucks."

"Republicans, actually, baby." Pete blinked innocently from his stance next to Whitney, crossing his arms across his wide chest and grinned crookedly at her. "Who else would have wholesome family values about building a residential neighborhood about a business that's going to bring the economy up for our family oriented little town?" A moment... he crossed himself, looked up. "God, I'm sorry for that. Don't strike me down."

"You? You're in the same boat as blondie there, baby," Shayla nodded. "One more word, and this sweet ass is staying covered up." She flung herself into the chair beside Chloe. "You guys? You love the whole running around manly grunting thing? Me? Hell no. I'm a Supervising-Only-Shayla."

"Yeah, I'll admit it." Pete nodded, swiping the cap off his head and rubbing his forehead with the bill in his hand. "I love knowing you lovely ladies will be watching as Whit here and I grunt and growl out a days labor. We were made for this shit, man. You both... are just two wimpy, scrawny chicks who scream and cry over a broken nail. Said, 'course, with the utmost love."

Chloe held up her middle finger. "Read this, Ross? You can kiss my scrawny blond ass. We can do twice what you two penises can."

"Yeah. Right." That was Whitney's only comment as he leaned back against the table, t-shirt and jeans ready for working.

Chloe's blond little brows narrowed, eyes slitting as she rose to her feet, stalking to her lover and poking him in the chest with an index finger. "Fuck. You."

Whitney locked his arms around his girlfriend's waist. "In front of all these people? Gladly, baby, but do you think one of these tables will hold us up? Or did you sort of... intend to do it up against the wall?"

"Neanderthal!" Shayla accused, pointing her finger at Whitney. "Shame on you!"

Chloe's mouth dropped and she gave her boyfriend a shove back, stomping on his foot for good measure and glaring at him as she turned, grabbed her girl friend, and stomped off.

Pete hooted out a hard laugh, choking as he cracked up at Whitney's plight, cackling and shaking his head. "Man, you're in the doghouse now."

Whitney followed Chloe with his eyes. "Yeah... but I'll be out soon. She loves me, even if I do piss her off."

"You're not much better, Peter Isaac!" Shayla yelled over her shoulder, flouncing off with Chloe and giggling.

"Neanderthal ASS." And it was at that precise moment that Dominic stepped in front of them... blinking, and she glared at him, harder, poking him in the chest and wagging her finger at his head. "You are all a bunch of worthless, spineless pigs."

Blink... blinkblink. Dominic turned a glance at his lover... back down to the petite blond, and spotted the two snickering boys in the background, sighing now. Teenage boys were idiots, and he'd know, he'd once been one. So he just caught Chloe's finger, shaking it like it were her hand, and dropped a kiss on Shayla's head. "We're only here to give the principle the go ahead, darlings. Don't worry about them, eh?" A chin over at Whitney and Pete. "They jibe like said Neanderthals, but women are ten times more intelligent."

"Hey, big brother!" Shayla gave Morgan a bone-crunching hug. "How's it going?" She just beamed. "The Rosses love me, by the way, thank you for asking. And oh!! Did you two make up or do I need to kick somebody in the balls?" She glared over her brother's shoulder at Lionel.

Lionel merely raised an eyebrow at her. "Not that your brother's personal life is any of your business, little girl, but yes. Your brother and I did make up." He barely restrained himself from petting her on the head.

She stuck her tongue out. "Morg! What car'd you bring and will you give me and Chloe and the Neanderthals a ride so we don't have to take the big smelly old bus with everyone else? Pleeeeeeease?"

Dominic grinned and gave her a kiss, shaking his head down at her as he motioned both of the small girls towards the trucks. "We're on our way to the buildings for a meeting, darling. Run along, and be careful, aye? I dunna want more broken bones from you, Pixie Girl. Be careful, and tell that Ross boy he better take care of you." Dark, deep glare towards the boys in the lunchroom, and had the grand satisfaction of seeing them stop snickering and straighten. He turned and grasped Lionel's hand, a smile of victory on his face, and walked with him towards the front doors of the school.

"Shay?" Chloe hadn't said another word since the man had begun talking, fluttering a palm to her heart.

"Jerk!!!" she yelled out after her brother, and then turned her attention to Chloe. "Yeah, babe?"

"Is it totally wrong to be so hot over a gay guy?" Chloe let out a breath, fanning her blushing cheeks. "I've got the biggest gay crush on him."

"EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! that's my BROTHER you're crushing on!" Shayla shrieked. "Ick ick ick ick ick ew ew ick ew ick!!! Melon scoop! Gimmie a melon scoop, somebody please!"

"SHUT UP!" Chloe cried, smacking her friend at least a dozen times to shut HER UP. "I DON'T WANT IT ANNOUNCED TO THE SCHOOL!" She cried, still smacking her to get her to shut up. "OR my BOYFRIEND! Shut UP!"

"Ick ick ICK! Chloe!!!! That's my BROTHER!" she hissed. "Ick!! He's.... he's... so NOT crush material!!!! Though Lionel? Okay, now we're talkin'."

Across the cafeteria, Whitney raised his head at the shriek, and looked at Pete. "Do I even wanna know, man?"

"Are you kidding? Shay, LOOK at him." She grabbed her girlfriends arm and yanked her around, heads nearly touching as they watched the two stately men cross the lawn. "Look. Blond, goatee, abs like a God, ass of one, the clothes, the hair, the style, the voice. Have you not HEARD his voice? Its like... like... like when someone has a cold and drinks whiskey, and it gets all low and sexy. Your. Brother. Is. A. HUNK. Okay?!"

"Man, you really, really don't." Pete made a face at them.

"M'bruther's voice isna ANYTHIN' special!" she shrieked again, her own accent slipping out. "Ever'bod' in t'family's gut one, e'en Gideon! Now Gideon, he's th'one ye'll all but bust yer buttons on." Then she jerked Chloe over again. "Y'wan t'talk aboot a man wi'the arse of a god? Li'nel. Have ye no'seen th'way the man fills out his pants? Front and back?"

"You're doing it! You're doing it!" Chloe shrieked, then fanned herself vehemently, sighing in pleasure. "You don't do it as good as him. And okay, Lionel? Old guy. Great ass. But old. Dominic is just… and he... and I... EEEEE!" She squealed it, flapping her hands and all but thudding over.

Shayla smacked her best friend in the back of the head. "He may be an old guy, but if'n m'bruther's screamin' is any indication, then Li'nel's still got it where it cownts." She shook her head. "Morgan isna anythin' special."

"Whatever. I have a huge crush on him, and plan to keep it that way. He..." She blushed again. "He saved my life. During the thing with the baby, we were cleaning and burning stuff, and he saved my life. And just... he didn't care he'd die too, just protecting me and telling me it would be okay and oh." She slapped the back of her palm against her forehead.

"Now that sounds like m'brutha." She clamped her hand around Chloe's wrist. "C'mon then. I'll make sure you get t'work wi'him today. If he's no got one of his little flunkies aboot, he'll need a fetch and carry girl."

"Shay!" Scandalized. "I have Whitney. And your brother's gay! And married! Hello." A glare at her, and she fanned herself in the extremely damp air. ...At least it had stopped raining for the moment. "Come on. Lets go find good seats, and not share any with Whitney and Pete. And make out, but so they can't see."

"I didna say ye'd be able to fuck him, Chloe. Just follow him around all day and stare at his arse."

Oh and she giggled. "You've got yourself a deal. ...Still gonna make out with me?"

 

-fin-

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