The Memoirs

Lionel stared at the brightly wrapped package sitting on the desk in front of him. He felt as though there was a huge tattoo of the word "SUCKER" printed across his forehead, as he yet had no children of his own, and yet he was purchasing a dollhouse and a little pink Ferrari for a child who didn't even belong to him.

It had to be the blond hair and green eyes. That was the only possible explanation that he could think of.

"Mr. Luthor?"

"Yes?" Lionel looked up at his chauffeur, Phillip. "Ah. Phillip. Please, load these packages into the car, and tell Dominic we'll be making a stop by the mansion first to drop them off for Miss Eleanor."

"Of course, sir." Phillip easily scooped up the packages in large arms and carried them out to the car, and Lionel started packing his laptop and other things away, checking the clock on his desk. They still had two hours before the appointment with Dr. Nacheyez, and he had plans for most of that time.

Truth be told, Dominic had kept off of Lionel's radar for most of the afternoon. He'd brought his tissues and his thermos of orange juice Ms. Bird had insisted on, and had hunkered down in the Apollo building with Charles to sort out the finances. If the boy was good for nothing else, Dominic would keep him around simply for his head for numbers. The boy was amazing with them, as good as Dominic was, and it helped to have someone who knew what they were doing around.

Plus, he could tell all his math jokes and Charles would actually understand and appreciate them.

At the moment, however, he was waist deep in financial papers for the move. And he was trying not to have an aneurysm over just how much money it had cost them. Lionel had enough... more than enough, truth be told, three times enough, but Dominic still worried, as it was his business to do.

Lionel and the LuthorCorp empire had over 18 billion dollars. But when Dominic stared at the 30 million dollar number he kept coming on for the move, it made him physically ill.

A quiet cough from the doorway. "Mr. Senatori? Mr. Luthor has asked me to tell you that the trip to Metropolis is going to be delayed until we are able to stop at home and give certain packages to a Miss Eleanor Senatori, a young lady of your acquaintance." Phillip was standing ramrod straight, hands clasped behind his back.

Charlie rubbed his eyes, and looked up at Dominic. "Sir, you've gone over the numbers three times and they haven't changed. You and I have both double checked it, and this is coming in about fifteen million under the projection."

Dominic blinked up from his paperwork and calculators, and blinked at Phillip. Oh. English. He could stop cursing in Gaelic in his brain for a moment. "Mmm? Yes, that's quite fine. Let him know he's quite the sucker for said young lady, but I don't mind a bit." A smile up at him. "Is he ready to get going now?"

"Yes, sir, he is." Phillip gave a small smile. "And begging Mr. Senatori's pardon, but I'm not quite dumb enough to tell him that."

Oh, Dominic grinned, chuckling softly and nodding. "Understood. Thank you very much, Phillip. Did your mother get the roses we sent her last week? And how is the dear lady doing, anyhow? I hope Angel of Mercy is treating her well."

"They're treating her quite well, thank you." He smiled again. "The roses cheered her up quite a bit. So did the visit from my ex-CO, and I'm not sure how you and Mr. Luthor arranged his visit, but I'm grateful to you both."

"She's a remarkable woman." Dominic said it, softly, and smiled at the man. "She was the only one who treated me nicely when I began working for Lionel, aside from Ms. Bird. Tell her we miss her, and we hope she gets well. She's much too feisty to be laid up any longer. She must be driving the nurses half mad."

"More than half." Phillip's grin widened entirely at that. "They're ready to kick her out of the ward, but the doctors are holding onto her for a few more days, just to make sure that there's no reactions to the new medication."

Dominic gave a snicker at that, eyes dancing. "We'll give her a visit this coming week, once LuthorCorp is on its feet here in Smallville." He tipped his head. "How are you enjoying Smallville, Phillip? Lionel and I are going to have a long talk with the staff, but I don't mind letting you know a bit early. If any of you don't want to stay in Smallville, you're not required to by any regard."

"I know I'm not required to, sir. But I wouldn't think of leaving you and Mr. Luthor. Mr. Luthor's employed me for the last fifteen years, since I got out of the service, and despite the rapidity with which he's fired the other drivers, he's never once fired me nor raised his voice to me. There's no one else I'd rather work for, Mr. Senatori."

Okay, at that, Dominic beamed. "Its because you drive well, Phillip. As much as Lionel loves to drive a bit..." He turned slightly green. "Over the speed limit, in truth, when we're both in the car I know he likes a good driver who can maneuver the streets. Thank you, Phillip. Once we open everything this week, we'll see to getting you your rooms at the manor."

"Thank you, sir!" Phillip returned the broad smile with one of his own. "Don't worry, sir, I'll take care of the driving; you just worry about taking care of Mr. Luthor."

"Thank you, Phillip, but I think Mr. Luthor can take care of himself." Lionel stood in the doorway behind his chauffeur, and looked at his watch. "Dominic?"

"Not bloody likely." Dominic snorted it, but smiled adoringly at his lover for a moment before looking at Charles. "Alright, I believe we're done here." He quickly scrawled on a sheet of paper in front of Charles, like he were just making a notation, but instead... Not a word to Lionel. I'll break the news in due time, you just keep the finances to yourself. He gathered his things, putting them in his briefcase as he rose to his feet. Green polo, his favorite one, black pants and his soft leather jacket, which he pulled on as he got his briefcase.

Charlie looked down, nodded once, and started sweeping the papers back into his own briefcase. "We'll continue here in the morning, Mr. Senatori."

Lionel watched calmly as Dominic pulled his jacket on, then started down the stairs. "Come along, Dominic. I have to deliver something to Eleanor. I've already called for the helicopter, and it'll be waiting for us on the south lawn. We'll be taking the chopper into Metropolis tonight, and Phillip, you'll be meeting us in the city tonight, a little after midnight, outside of the LuthorCorp building."

"Yes, sir."

Dominic muttered to Phillip, before passing him to follow his lover, "He's a bit majestic. Stay by the phone… I'll ring you should we decide to stay in Metropolis overnight, alright?" A wink and he followed his lover down the steps, until he could grasp Lionel's hand in his own , thermos under his arm. "How did everything go tonight beloved?" He squeezed his hand tightly as they started outside, leaning up to brush his lips across Lionel's cheek. "I missed you, you know."

"Of, course, sir." Phillip watched as the two descended the stairs, and then started down himself, a few steps behind.

Lionel returned the squeeze, and the kiss both. "I missed you too, Dominic. But, things went quite well, despite the fact I got derailed by a trip to the toy store. You'd think I had grown a third head, the way people looked at me as I went through the store. Thankfully Charlie was there to take care of the purchasing and wrapping after I made the selection, or I'm sure an entire Toys R Us store would have been in ruin."

Dominic stared at his lover for a long moment... before he cracked a huge grin. "You went to Grandville to buy our niece a Barbie Dream House she could have damn well gone without?" Another chuckle and he squeezed Lionel's hand tightly, smiling at him adoringly and rolling his eyes. "You have no shame, and even less strength for puppy dogged looks and sniffles. But I don't mind, as its quite a nice thing for the Dominics of the world."

Just as he turned a flashing set of bulbs went off in his face, three microphones were stuck in their faces, then more as more reporters swamped in, and his eyes went dark with anger, his jaw clenching tightly.

Lionel turned to Phillip, over their shoulders. "If you would please, Phillip?"

"Of course, sir." Broad-shouldered Phillip came down the stairs, pushed in front of Lionel and Dominic, and started shoving through the crowd. Several reporters hit the ground on their asses, but the ex-SEAL didn't give a shit. "This way, Mr. Luthor, Mr. Senatori."

Dominic didn't let go of his lover as several... lewd questions were tossed their way, ignoring them outright as his jaw clenched. Just followed Phillip to the car, as calmly as he could physically stay, and slid into the back seat the moment that Phillip opened the car for them. Scooted over for his lover to the far side, so his darling husband could get in, and ignored the people who swamped the closed window , simply reaching forward to lock the front door, and lock his own. "Vultures."

Lionel took great pleasure in rolling the darkened window up, catching one woman's fingers in the window. It wasn't until she screamed that he rolled it down just enough for her to pull her fingers out, and he rolled it slowly back up again. "That was... satisfying."

Dominic didn't dare laugh, even if his shoulders shook with it, and reached for his lovers hand, rolling his eyes as he leaned back against the seat. "Do you think its going to be like this for a while?"

"Yes, I do. I think it's going to be like this until the interview, and probably for quite some time after it."

"Then I'm glad its you." He said simply, and yawned softly, turning a little in his seat so one leg came up a bit more comfortably. "My brother is coming with his brood next Tuesday. He and Marie have already found the house they want to buy, and Marie couldn't be more pleased. Their first house, she told me, so that'll go well. The final papers don't go in until Friday though… do you mind housing them for a few days beloved?"

"Of course not," Lionel said quickly. "I don't mind having Ariel around at all."

That alone earned him a soft smile. "She's a darling child. Just beautiful."

"Yes, yes, she is. The best of that brood, if you ask me. Takes after her mother and her grandfather in that respect." Lionel sat back as the car started to move, and people scattered. "But, in all seriousness, no, I don't mind them staying at all."

"ON the... particular vein of Riley, are we going to fire Andrews? The man obviously doesn't know what he's doing, he got us in this fucking mess in the first place, and he's an incompetent fool who nearly cost the business."

Lionel nodded. "I have been considering that decision, and the only thing that is keeping me from firing him on the spot is that he knows quite a bit of confidential information about LuthorCorp. Nothing that is particularly earth-shattering, but nothing that I'd like to get out to the general public, either."

Dominic turned a glance on him. That his lover hadn't already decided to have him killed was... a definite step up, and Dominic smiled softly at his husband and rubbed his hand gently with his free fingers. "Perhaps you could move him to a different position? Something of lesser title, so that Jenkins can fill in?"

"No. If I move the man, it will be to a cemetery, Dominic. Because he's completely incompetent." Lionel drummed his fingers on the door handle. "I'd like to promote the bastard, but there's nowhere to promote him too that wouldn't entail damage."

"Indeed." Dominic answered thoughtfully, stretching long legs as much as he could as he thought. "I can't think of anywhere, either, beloved, not in a position where he'd cause major problems for the people working under him."

"I may have to have him killed."

Dominic's fingers froze, his body tightened, and he shook his head. "Theirs another way, Lionel. We just haven't thought of it."

"There isn't another way," Lionel said softly. "Or we would have thought of it."

"You can't, Lionel. I won't let you." He said it, just as softly, and looked down at his lap. "The person I've come to love can't afford that on his conscience."

"I can, Dominic," Lionel said softly. "There's a lot of things I can afford to have on my conscience. This is just one of them."

"Well maybe mine can't handle it."

Lionel looked up at his lover. "You won't have to know what decision I've come to when the time comes, Dominic. As much as it will pain me, whatever I choose to do, I can keep you out of it."

He pulled his hand from Lionel's at the words, and looked at him with furrowed brows and hurt in his eyes. "I thought that was over. I thought you werent going to do it anymore, Lionel."

Lionel watched Dominic withdraw from him. "It is still a part of my life, Dominic. It's part of who I am, and part of the world that I exist in. There are things that sometimes must be done, no matter how distasteful we find them."

"Killing a man because he's an idiot doesn't qualify as something you must do, and something that is distasteful. I know law means very little to you, as it does to me, but its... you're killing one of Gods children, Lionel. You've done it before, and you know what its done to us. Don't... kill him, alright? Because I don't care what part that aspect of things plays in your life, you're still my husband and I can't'... can't allow something like that to happen, when it can be stopped."

Lionel sighed. "Dominic. You are my husband, and you know how I feel about you. You also know that I cannot--will not--allow our personal relationship to interfere in what I have to do to protect my business and my children's legacy. What LuthorCorp becomes is what I will be leaving, both to Lex and to Aurora, and anything that I have to do to protect that, I will."

"No, Lionel. Our personal relationship never had anything to do with the business, and I'm not so dim that I don't know that. What I am telling you is to think long and hard about what you're willing to do, and the lengths to which you would endanger your own soul for something so worthless as business. I won't have you burning in hell when its something you don't deserve. And you think, long and hard, about just how much you're willing to do. Because I love you. I love you as much as any human being can love another, Lionel. But there are things I won't take, and you know it."

Lionel bristled at that. "LuthorCorp is not worthless. And if you think that it is worthless, then perhaps you don't know me as well as you think. It is, outside of my family, one of the most important things in my life, and I will do what I must to take care of it." And then his glare darkened into a scowl. "Are you threatening me, Dominic?"

"It's worthless when you endanger your own mortality by doing it, Lionel." Was all Dominic said, and he wasn't even looking at him, just down at his lap. "I'm not threatening you." He looked up, then, with sadness in his eyes. "I'm telling you to think about it, before doing anything. Because the man I married isn't a killer. I refuse to believe it, or see it happen."

"But I am a killer, Dominic. I've had people killed before, I had Lawrence killed, and Ethan is dead by now. That didn't stop you from saying your vows to me, and this will be no different. Unless you consider that it's all right, since I was defending your honor and not my business."

That hurt, like knives, and he didn't say anything for a long moment, just looking down at his hands. "You didn't kill them. I did. Because I didn't stop it from happening, and that is the guilt I live with every day, and pray to God that He forgives me before my day comes when I stand before Him in judgment." He looked up at his lover. "You do what you think is right, Lionel. I'm not going to stop you… I haven't stopped you in the past. But I ask you simply to think about what it is that you're doing, and what it is you're risking."

"You believe in the judgment, Dominic. I believe in my own means and my own ends. I believe that I do is justified in the end, not because of the means I take to get there but because of the reasons why it's done. Justification is in the meaning, not the means, and that is where we differ." He looked out the window at the passing scenery. "I know what I am doing, Dominic. And I know what I'm risking. And the choice is mine to make, not yours."

Dominic just nodded, and leaned his head back, looking out the opposite window and tried to keep his heart closed tight, and the emotions that wanted to spill out closed. Bitter anger, and sadness, the two at the top, and he shifted the smallest bit to let his foot back down to the floor, as the mansion came into view. Didn't need to say anything else, as Phillip drove down the long road he'd been down at least a thousand times by now, and tried to think of happier times. His sister and himself, during the blizzard, which the thought always made him happy, and he clung to it as he swallowed.

As soon as the car stopped, Lionel got out of the car and took the dollhouse out of the trunk himself, and piled the little pink car on top of it. "Phillip, if you could bring in our things, my laptop and briefcase, I'd appreciate it." Enrique was waiting by the door. "Enrique, call Miss Eleanor down, and then call Dr. Nacheyez, and have her cancel tonight's appointment. I don't think we're going to make it tonight."

"I'll go." Dominic said, as he climbed from the car. He needed just to see her, and talk about normal everyday things, because if it was something he lacked entirely, was friendship. He had a hundred of them, but the only person he ever trusted enough to know things about him, inside things, were Lionel and Lex, and he didn't want to see any Luthor tonight. And even if he was paying her, it felt good to just talk about anything, anything in the world, and not worry about being judged. "And finish taking a few things left from my apartment."

"As you wish. I'll have Phillip drive me into the city and pick up the cradle from the store; they've been holding it for a week and I'd expected to pick it up tonight."

Dominic ignored Enrique blinking at them in shock and strangeness as he shrugged his shoulder softly, and entered the house. For the first time he had a nagging sense of self doubt, that he hadn't done the right thing, that he had made a horrible mistake somewhere to reach this place, that Lionel didn't think of him as a partner in anything, that there were a hundred different things that were wrong. Even if he knew it was all untrue, and he and Lionel had just had a full scale argument, it still burned at his soul to know it had happened, that he was here in his life, and he went upstairs without a word.

Lionel carried the two packages into the library, and looked around for Ellie. "Enrique, I thought I asked you to find Eleanor for me," he said quietly, setting the two packages onto the table and taking a seat beside them.

"Ah... yes, sir. Eet es… jus… how do you say... strange for de Senor Lut'or and de Senor S'ntori to... how do you say...argue?" Enrique nodded though, and went looking for Eleanor without another word.

"Tell me about it," Lionel said to the empty room, drumming his fingers on the tabletop.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!" Came the shriek from upstairs... a hundred pounding feet, and then a streak of blond came hurtling into the room, and thrown at Lionel. "UNCA WEIRDY PANTS!!!!!!!!!!" Eleanor squealed on top of her lungs, grabbing his cheeks and giving him huge big kisses. "YOU ARE DA BESTEST UNCA EVER!!!!!"

"Hello, Miss Eleanor." Lionel gave the little girl a large hug as she pelted into him. "And how do you know I'm the best uncle ever? For all you know, I could have wrapped up a huge box of broccoli and brussel sprouts for you." He lifted her up on his lap, so she could reach the boxes. "Which one do you want first, the broccoli or the brussel sprouts?"

She burst into giggles. Her unca was so COOL! "They's not brussmal sprouts! They barbie house!!!!!!!" But she paused. Uht oh. What if they WERE brussel spouts?! AHHH! "Are dey?" Peer up at him.

"You'll only know if you open it," Lionel chastised softly, and handed her the smaller box first, that had Barbie's little pink Ferrari.

OOOOO! She gasped, taking the little box, and peered at it, giving it a shake. "Barbie house is leetle?" She peered up at her uncle in question cause yeah, Barbie wouldn't even FIT in a little house like THIS.

"Open it," Lionel suggested.

"Okay!" She ripped the pink paper off in a flourish... and the squeal was all but supersonic. She got off of her uncles lap and did a dance, a booty dance, slightly tangled hair flopping, her Jasmine pajamas swirling around her ankles, her big pooh bear slippers bopping along with her. "I gotted a caa-aaar, a Barbie caa-aarr." A huge big huge hug. "Phank you Unca Weirdy pants!"

Lionel didn't even bother correcting her any longer, but it hurt him that Dominic wasn't here to see. "You're very welcome, darling." He lifted the large package down now, the dollhouse. "Why don't you open this one too?"

"Okeeyyy!" She squeeled it, setting the box with the Barbie car to be assembled by an unsuspecting Unca Grahamy, and tore the paper on the big box... getting the bow stuck in her hair, and peering up at it for a long moment, as if staring it into coming off her head. Ohh well, and back to paper tearing she went, cause she just LOVED paper tearing just about as much as she loved big boxes.

Lionel laughed softly at that, and he reached over, carefully untangling the bow from silky blond hair, and sticking it on a pert little nose instead. "There you go, Miss Ellie."

"Ids on my nosssee!" She squeeled, giggling as she peered around it and pulled the paper off. Her big green eyes got even bigger, she gasped, and she squealed. Loudly. "ID IS BARBIES DREAM HOUSE THE DREAM HOUSE I ALWAYS WANTED EEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"I was told that it came with all the accessories that the well-to-do Barbie girl needs. There's a two car garage, which means you'll need another car for her, and there's three floors, fully furnished."

She just... stopped squealing and gasped as she listened to her uncle, staring at the house on the side of the box. It had lights. Lights. And a GARAGE! And clothes. Just... gasped, looking up at her uncle with a little girls awe, before going back to staring at the box. "Eleanor lubs her Unca." She wrapped her arms tightly around his waist, little arms hardly meeting around his back, and gave him a big squeeze.

Lionel hugged her back, just as gently. "Uncle Lionel loves you too, Miss Eleanor."

Dominic stood, shadowed, in the door. He'd seen it, but he refused to say anything about it, as he spoke softly. "I'm leaving, Lionel. I'll be back after midnight, if the weather holds out. If not I'll stay overnight, and be back in the morning in time to meet you at the buildings."

"All right. I'll be picking up the cradle, and I'll likely be working late. There's several things I need to go over, and most of my things are still in the Zeus building." He stroked Ellie's back as he talked. "I'll see you in the morning."

His chin trembled, hard, and he turned, leaving the room and closing the door behind him. Calmed himself as much as he could before drawing his coat tighter around him and grasping his brief case, the numbers and paperwork for Monday sitting inside. Went outside, passing by Enrique without a word and lifted a hand to Phillip, before walking across the helicopter pad. "Just me, Andrew. Take care on the uptake, theirs a bit of wind." was all he said, as he climbed up an d buckled himself in without a word more. Just doing, no thoughts, and opened his briefcase, taking out the calculator as the sun slipped behind the horizon, and the sky was lit with only orange and red.

Lionel watched Dominic leave the room, and not say a word. He swallowed hard and looked down at Eleanor. "Come on. Uncle Lionel has a few things to do in Metropolis, but let's find where Lex has Hans' phone number and we'll give him a call to work on the Ferrari."

- = - = -

The hour long helicopter ride was one of the worst of his life. He was alone in the air in a machine he didn't trust at all, it was windy, and his fingers were white on the seat belt by the time the pilot landed atop LuthorCorp in Metropolis. The wind had picked up quite a bit, a bitter cold that had raced down his polo shirt, and before he got out of the helicopter he put his scarf on, his black gloves, and zipped the soft leather jacket that he'd bought for himself the year before. Tucked the briefcase in his hand and got out of the helicopter on jell-o knees, and he'd gone down through the building without another word.

Caught a cab, and made it to the psychiatry practice five minutes before his appointment.

He climbed the steps rather than take the short elevator ride, and came up on the landing. The offices were dark and quiet, as most everyone was gone already for the evening, and made his way back to the doctors office, passing the dark receptionist desk. He knocked quietly on the glass, then. "Doctor N... ma'am? its Dominic Senatori."

Elaine was just sitting behind her desk, hands clasped and waiting. "Dominic, please, come in. Lionel called and said he wouldn't be making it tonight; I'm sorry to hear that. But I'm glad you came." She held her hand out to the chair across from her. "Please, have a seat. Make yourself comfortable."

He opened the door the rest of the way, closing it softly behind him, and offered her a little smile. "Thank you, ma'am." He set his briefcase beside him and unzipped his coat and scarf, taking both off and setting them beside him. "How are you this evening, ma'am?"

"I'm doing very well, thank you." She smiled at him, and turned to the small fridge behind her. "Would you like something to drink? I've got coke, apple juice, and water."

"No, thank you, ma'am. I'll be on my way home to get quite drunk after I'm finished here." But he said it with a bit of a smile, as he shook his head. "Just joking. But thank you, regardless."

Dr. Natch didn't smile. "I know you're not joking, Dominic."

"Probably not, no, now that the idea is there. If I recall, I've a lovely bottle of red merlot I've had for a year or two."

"Would you like to tell me why you're thinking about it?" she asked simply, pulling off her glasses to polish them with a white cloth.

A shrug, simply, and he didn't want to even go there, as he shook his head. "I just had a small fight with Lionel. Its why he chose not to accompany me tonight. He's... going to come along later, buy a few things, and go home."

"What did you fight about, if you don't mind me asking?" Elaine pulled out a clean legal pad and uncapped her pen, poised to write.

"Work."

She scribbled a few words. "I'm going to need a few more details than that, Dominic."

"I don't really want to speak of it though, ma'am, if you don't mind? I'm a bit tired of rehashing it in my brain." He shifted a little. "We're both under quite a large amount of pressure, and though we said we wouldn't anger one another when it all began, we've angered one another."

She scribbled a quick paragraph before looking back up at her patient. "I don't mind at all, Dominic. It's your nickel; we can talk about anything you like."

"Alright." His eyes brightened, his mood brightened, then. "Lex is almost finished with the DNA work of our daughter. Next week she'll be ready to be implanted into a suitable mother. We... we're very excited, you know. The... twenty fourth, Id say, will be the day of conception, from what Lex has told us."

"Well, that's certainly good news," Elaine said with a grin. "Sounds like you couldn't be happier. Have you decided on a name for her?"

"Aurora. Aurora... well, we haven't gone much past Aurora, but she will have Luthor as her last name." Dominic grinned at the woman. "I had my name changed legally nearly two weeks ago."

"That's an important step to take," Elaine said softly. "You sure it was one you're ready for?"

"Yes." A simple nod. "It is a step I was ready to take. I didn't have a single speck on doubt going in to do it, and you know me, I worry like its an Olympic sport. But with this... nothing."

"Yes, I do know. I'm actually surprised that you didn't have any doubt, and that worries me to. No doubts, at all, speaks to a degree of surrealism and detachment from reality, where things don't always go on as they should."

"Are you saying I'm out of touch with reality, Ms. Ma'am?"

"I'm saying that you might have an idealized vision of what's going on, and not realize that despite the fact things are going well, there might be rough spots down the road."

"Can I ask you something?" Dominic looked up, and met her eyes. "Am I truly mentally ill, ma'am? I mean, in all honesty? Should I be on some sort of medication or something, or in a hospital somewhere?"

"You're not mentally ill, Dominic. At least, no more so than anyone else walking around. We all have our delusions. We all have our delusions and things that we want to happen, and to cause them to happen, sometimes we overlook the bad parts."

He looked down, then. "Lionel said the same thing, the other day. About reality, and my lack of wanting to be in it."

"I can't say as I blame you entirely; reality is usually a crappy place to be. Unfortunately, it's where we have to be." More notations. "Can I ask what you argued over that he told you that?"

"I've been ill the last few days, with a bit of the flu. I was stuck home, and we were talking over the instant messenger, and somehow.." A shake of his head as he shifted, and pulled his leg up to cross ankle over knee. "We got to talking about money, had an argument over it, and then had an argument over his mortality. He wants Lex, and Aurora, to be safe and well loved when he's gone, and I..." He shook his head again and rubbed his fingers through his hair. "Lost it, as you can imagine."

More scribbles, and she tapped her pen thoughtfully against her tablet as she looked up at her patient. "Could this argument be a reaction to that?" she asked softly. "I know how you tend to react to mortality and seeing as how you'd not like the concept of it, perhaps this reaction and this argument with Lionel is your way of distancing him so that the two of you don't have to cope with each other on the same ultra-personal level that you have been interacting on so that it is less painful to think about losing him?"

"Not… quite. Perhaps on a very deep level, yes. In fact, I'm sure of it. However… tonight's argument wasn't about that. It was actually something that he's done before, and I.." A shake of his head. "Someone in LuthorCorp, of whom I won't name, made a fatal error that nearly cost Lionel everything. Lionel needs to take the man out of his position, but he doesn't know how. Either move him somewhere else, or kill him. We had an argument over the latter. He's done it before, and because of it, we, our relationship, suffered tremendously. But now.. .things are different. Because I let him kill the man who ruined my life, so in essence, I myself am a murderer as well. And it almost... it was almost condescending of me, to beg him not to kill this man, and he threw the fact that Id let Lawrence die in my face."

Long, long scribbles. "I see." More scribbles. "I don't think it was condescension more than it was the idealism I mentioned before. You've been thinking that everything is going to be picture-perfect since you married and took his name, and as I've gathered, it has been. But now, there's a very unpleasant circumstance resurfacing here, and you're afraid of dealing with it because it doesn't fit in the idealism."

"It doesn't fit in him. I know the man he is, and I see who he is, and the wa y he loves the people around him, and I cannot understand how the man I love, so dearly, would ever drop down to killing another human being." He paused for a long moment, as he rubbed his thumbnail softly, and gazed up at her. "I often worry, for his salvation, as well as my own. Tonight's the first time I ever told him so."

"Dominic... he's not a different man," Elaine pointed out. "He's the same man he's always been, but this is the first time I gather he's done something like this since you've both come to grips with your feelings for each other."

He nodded, softly. "Yes. I think... sometimes, joking aside, he's afraid he isn't the strong businessman he's always been now that he has me. I tease him about being a softy, but he truly has softened, and stopped some of the things he once did. I think maybe it worries him, and that people will see him in a different light. Like tonight. He spoke of killing this man, but in the trunk was a Barbie dream house and car that my niece had begged him to buy last night, and he returned with it today for her."

"Did he consider other options?"

"Yes. Moving the man somewhere, to another position." He said softly, and rubbed his arm as he straightened and shook his head very tenderly, and sadly. "I threatened him. I shouldn't have, but I was so upset, so angry. I told him in few words that if he did it to protect the company, he'd lose me." His chin trembled as he looked down at his hands. "So I'm sleeping in Metropolis tonight."

No reaction from the doctor as she made notes. "Are you sure it was wise, giving a prideful man like Lionel an ultimatum?

"No. I know that, now." His chin trembled again, and he looked away, as much as he could, as he swallowed hard. "I knew it when I did it, but I said it, anyway."

Elaine opened the door behind her and pressed a bulbous blue bottle in his hand. "And did you apologize?"

Dominic took it without a word, his throat bobbing harder. "No. I didn't. I didn't apologize. I should have, but my pride wouldn't let me."

A few more scrawled notes. "And what do you intend to do about the situation?"

"Apologize. For giving him an ultimatum. I shouldn't have done that, but I know, if he does do this, and he kills that man, things won't be the same between us." He opened the water bottle with hands that shook slightly, and took a drink of it before looking at the bottle itself.

Elaine studied him carefully. "For him, or for you? Because you have to know that this is behavior that he has always done. I have records of it for as long as he has been coming to me, and I can tell you that only because you are his spouse. Why do you expect for things to change with him, why do you expect for him to change?"

"I didn't expect it. I saw it, with my own two eyes, how he changed before me. He isn't the man he was, Elaine, and that's why this was so out of the blue. And for a moment, after he said it, I thought maybe this has all been a mistake. Getting involved with him was a mistake. Its not safe, like it was when I was alone. You know? there are strings now, all over, and every time one of them gets yanked on, I start to think maybe he'll leave me, or he'll decide I wasn't a good lover at all to begin with, or something that will make him go."

She tapped her tablet again. "Keep going, Dominic."

He looked at her, sadly. "Because he couldn't want me. I know what I've been doing, because I'm not blind to my own actions. I've been anchoring myself to him as tightly as possible. I know it. You don't have to tell me. I do it because I adore him, and I want to be as much a part of his life as he is of mine. I love him with everything I am. But I'm afraid. I'm desperately, desperately afraid."

"And what are you afraid of?"

"I don't even know anymore. Sometimes I think I'm afraid that he'll leave me, but I know that won't happen, unless I truly fuck up. And since I'm not one to fuck up in any sort of sense, I doubt he will. Sometimes I'm afraid that he still thinks of me as an assistant. Tonight, that scared me. When he accused me of letting Lawrence die, and how this man wouldn't be any different. I was scared of myself in that moment." He shrugged his shoulders, and drank again, as he let his eyes fall to half mast. "I'm scared of a lot, in every sense. But I'm most terrified of being alone again."

"Which comes back to the argument that you and he had about his mortality," Elaine said, still tapping her pen on the pad. "From what the both of you told me, you've been far more than just his assistant for decades now, and I think it's highly unlikely that will change. What I think you're doing is seizing on any opportunity to push him away from you, so that you are alone, and won't have so much to lose."

He nodded. "You're probably right, on that notion." He looked down, again, and rubbed the heel of his hand over his eyes. "I'm sick of being alone. I'm sick of being unhappy. I'm never going to get well, am I? This is like some vicious cycle, Elaine. I'm terrified of myself for my daughter, and for my husband. I wish I were well, mentally, for them. And for Lex, and Clark." He looked up, in sadness. "Was it wrong of me, to start the argument as I did, over him doing something he's always done?"

"Dominic, you can only be well if you want to be." She smiled softly at him. "I think that overall? You're one of the most healthy people I've ever seen, because you acknowledge you have problems and you don't pretend that you don't. As for starting the argument... I'm not your conscience, Dominic. I can't tell you if it was wrong or right. That's a decision you have to make. I'm just here to listen and offer my opinion."

"I've not problems. I've issues. Large ones, that I carry about in enormous luggage with me, like I'm on some fucking trip to the safari." He grunted, and rubbed a hand through his hair. "I don't want him to kill that man. For his own soul, for me, and for himself. I don't want him to do it. Period. I don't know if I was in the right to start an argument or not. All I knew was that I didn't want it to happen."

"Then here's the question that you have to ask yourself, Dominic, and you have to be honest with yourself, and me, when you answer. If he does... then what are you going to do?"

"I don't know." He said it, softly. "I truly don't know. Because what can I do? In all instances I'm a murderer as well. Its like a pot calling the kettle black, Elaine. I can't simply leave him, because of what he's done to protect the business, but at the same time.." A shake of his head as he leaned his head back. "As he said it, my opinion doesn't matter anyway. He told me he'd do what he had to for the business. Aside from being his lover I'm his vice president, Elaine. Which is another duel role to play. He put me in the position, because he wanted me to tell him what I thought. Yet, when I do... you've seen the outcome, and yes, before you ask, I am upset over it. I'm not some stupid, snot-nosed blond sobbing on my fucking pillow. I've been doing business for many years and I can hold my own, but that's an entire other discussion entirely. To tell you the truth, I've been considering telling him I can't handle it. That I'll go back to assuming my own duties, and he chooses another vice president."

"You know Lionel better than I do, Dominic. Is he upset because you spoke your mind to him, or is he upset because you gave him an ultimatum?" She blinked. "That's just another way to distance yourself from him, Dominic."

"He's upset because I gave him in ultimatum." He looked at her, softly, for a moment. "I suck at marriage."

"No, you both suck at being humble." She steepled her fingers. "You're here for my advice, and I'm going to give it to you. Don't decline the vice-presidency. Because he's never going to find anyone he works together with as well as he does with you, and if he does choose someone else, you're always going to be slightly jealous, and wondering if he's going to move from you to the new person."

She knew him, he knew himself, and he knew she was right. "You're right. But how can I possibly function as being these two people? His vice president on one hand, and his lover on the other?"

"Why do they have to be exclusive of one another?" she asked calmly. "I believe they co-exist in Lionel quite well, and I believe that they would co-exist in you as well."

"I've been trying." He looked down at the bottle. "Perhaps not hard enough."

"Or, perhaps too hard."

He couldn't help it--he chuckled, softly. "I have a tendency to try and overachieve."

"I would never have noticed," Elaine said with a small grin. "You do tend to try and overcompensate, I won't deny that. Now, now that things are laid out for you here, what do you intend to do about things?"

"Apologize. To Lionel, for giving him an ultimatum. It wasn't fair, and I knew it then as I know it now." He nodded, softly at her. "Try and stop freaking out about everything. Clark told me just the other day, that I need to take a chill pill."

"Clark... that's... Lionel's son's friend? I have to agree with his diagnosis. Dominic... You're stressing entirely too much. I'm reluctant to prescribe any kind of sedative or relaxant to you, simply because I'm not sure that it holds any benefit for you whatsoever. But it wouldn't hurt to take this Clark's advice."

"Its the move. Lionel got sick with a kidney stone last week, Aurora is going to be with us soon. I'm just worried about everything, and its coming out where it shouldn't. But..." At this, he brightened. Considerably. "Lionel bought my old house. My mother put it up for sale, I told him of it, and he bought it for me. We're going to go next week for a week or two."

"I think that will be a good thing for the both of you. Get out of the States, out of the rough pressured circumstances you've all been under. A vacation sounds like just the prescription."

"I don't suppose Lionel told you of our impending TV Stardom, did he?"

"No, he didn't. But I read about it in four different newspapers and I've seen thirteen promos for it on three different television stations in the last week."

He grinned, broadly. "The night it airs, I believe I'll throw a big coming out party. Because not one of the people we ever met had any clue." Sarcasm abounds, but he was amused. Greatly amused.

"I can see that. Especially in Lionel's case; it was quite a surprise to find out that he'd chosen a man."

He tipped his head. "Truly?"

"Truly." She nodded it. "While I knew about you, due to our many conversations, I hadn't guessed it of Lionel until about... eight to twelve months ago, when he finally confessed to me--and to himself, I believe--that he did have very intense feelings for you."

That was certainly new information. He blinked at her, just a little. "What? I mean... I had a clue, since about the time when he went into a half jealous rage over the possibility of me going to another company. About...five years ago, I should say. But I never seriously thought he did." And for some reason, it made him smile. "For all our faults, I adore that man."

"And I think he adores you too, Dominic. Don't you think?"

"I know he does. I said it just myself yesterday. I was still ill with the flu, coughing and sneezing and hacking and you know," He waved a hand. "Quite disgusting. And he came home at lunch and made love with me, and didn't mind a lick that I was practically a cesspool. He loves me, Elaine. I feel it, and I know it. The things he does for me, the way he tells me, the way he touches me. He loves me beyond anyone else, just as I love him. Its the single constant in my life, and one I am intensely grateful for, even if he is a sod and I am an idiot."

"Love means not minding that your lover is germy," she deadpanned. "Dominic... if you love him so much, and you know that he loves you... why are we here? I mean, really." She clasped his hand over the desk. "You don't need me to tell you that you're in love with Lionel, and you don't need me to tell you that Lionel's in love with you. You just need me to tell you that you're not a fucked-up individual, if you'll pardon my language, and that you have it in you to do the right thing."

"That, and I need someone to talk to." He nodded it, at her, and looked down. "The people in my life are much too close to me. Sometimes I just need a sounding board to get the shite I deal with off of my chest, to someone who knows what they're doing in a professional sense. The rest of it I've dealt with. You don't know it, Elaine, but you've kept me from suicide more times than you could imagine... especially when Ethan came into my life. I like seeing you, I like talking to you about my problems, I like knowing you don't think I'm too much of an ass, and I like that you know me better than anyone in my life, expect Lionel of course."

"Well, you know that I'm always here for you, Dominic. And that if you need me, I will work you in at any time. Don't hesitate. You can even call me and I will work with you on the phone as long as you need me."

"Thank you, Elaine." He paused, a moment. "I think out of both of us, Lionel needs you more than I do. I help where I can...as ironic as this must sound, I'm excellent at giving advice." A self amused grin at that. "But with Lionel... its harder. Because he thinks I'm saying these things just to make him feel better. He needs to talk to someone, get the crap off of his heart." He was having a small large sense of panic. "I think maybe I should call him, and meet him at my apartment. And apologize."

"You assume that he listens to me," Elaine said dryly. "Actually, neither of you needs me quite as much as you both think; you're both rather well adjusted for all of your problems."

"Do you think we're ready for a child?"

"That's not my call to make, Dominic. I only see you for six hours a week; you live inside your skin 24/7. That should be my question to you."

"I think we are. In fact, I'm certain we are. I haven't been this happy, and this worried, in my life." He shifted, and smiled a little at her. "I'm not worried bout being a father. ...Alright, I'm terrified, but as for loving her, and taking care of her, I've already signed Lionel and I on for all the pamper changing, bottle feeding baby classes there are in Smallville."

"Then I think you're right on the ball. I think you're ready then, if you think you're ready."

"Elaine? Do you mind if I leave? I need to go find Lionel before he buys the crib."

"Would you like to use my phone?" She pushed it towards the edge of her desk.

"Please." He took it immediately, dialed nine to get out, and dialed Lionel's cell phone number from memory in a half a moment, before pressing the phone to his ear.

"Luthor." Lionel answered it in the back of the car, as Phillip was just crossing the Metropolis city limits.

"Hi. I love you. I'm sorry. Its not anything she said...I've been an ass. Don't buy the crib without me."

Lionel blinked. "I haven't even arrived yet; Phillip has just crossed into the city proper."

"I'm sorry for giving you an ultimatum. I was angry." He was gripping the phone like steel. "I don't want us to fight."

"I don't want us to fight either, Dominic."

"I'm sorry for doing it. I didn't mean to hurt you in the way that I did, Lionel." His throat was tight, and he shut his eyes for a long moment as he fought to breath. "I was just angry, and surprised."

Lionel sighed softly. "It's quite all right, Dominic. I understand that you don't like the things I do to run and to protect my business. You don't have to apologize for that."

"I could never hurt you in the way I implied. I'm sorry for making you think I would, but I don't want... want you to do this, Lionel. There's got to be another way, an alternative, and we'll find it."

He didn't say that Dominic had already hurt him. "Again, it's quite all right. It's already been taken care of; the man's been fired and won't be troubling us."

But Dominic wasn't a stupid man, and he already knew it, as the tears built and he closed his eyes and turned away from the doctor, so she wouldn't see. "I'm sorry for trying to push you away from me. I'm so sorry."

"There's nothing for you to be sorry for, Dominic," he countered softly. "You gave me a choice to make and I made it."

"I d-didn't mean to give you any type of choice. I was just angry, and I spoke before I thought. I don't want you to feel pressured from me like that, feel like you have to make these types of choices over what I do."

"I know you didn't mean to. However, the fact remains, the choice was given and with the choices possible? I made the only one I could. The man's alive."

"And I've hurt you, very much." His throat was so tightly he could barely speak, and did so gruffly. "I don't want you to change for me. I know who you are, and I don't want you... you to change, because of the things I say. You're Lionel, you're the way you are, and I love you dearly. I don't want to hurt you anymore, and I'm sorry I did. I shouldn't have said the things I said."

"And yet, you did." There was a quiet pause. "I'll have Phillip come by Dr. Nacheyez's office and pick you up."

He stopped talking, for a long moment… and then just hung up the phone, and didn't dare look at the woman behind the desk.

Lionel looked at the dead phone in his hand, tucked it back in his pocket, and tapped Phillip on the shoulder. "Dr. Nacheyez's office, please."

Elaine didn't say anything, just slid a box of tissues across the desk. "I take it that didn't go as well as you'd hoped?"

He didn't say anything, just taking one of the tissues and looking at it in his hand for another long moment as he fought his emotions. Swallowed, gruffly, until he could get his voice back, and finally looked up at her. "No."

"What happened?"

"He's angry, with me."

"Do you think he has a right to be?"

He nodded it, softly. "Every right."

"Then don't get angry with him in return," she cautioned softly. "Try apologizing face to face."

"I'm not angry." He shook his head. "I'm panicking. I'm terrified. But I'm not angry."

"Then don't get angry, is all that I'm saying. Understand that he's hurt, and that he hasn't had the benefit of talking his anger out."

He nodded it and set the water bottle on her desk, nodding. "Thank you, for this." He climbed to his feet, and began to layer on his clothes again, putting his coat and scarf on. "I'll see you on Monday."

"I'll be here. If you need to talk before then, call me." She handed him one of her cards. "This has my cell phone printed on it, and I check my messages every half hour on the weekends. If I don't answer, you can call me and I'll get back to you."

"Okay. Thank you, again." He nodded at her and offered his hand, switching his brief case to the other hand.

She clasped his hand tightly, shaking it. "You're quite welcome, Dominic. It is what I'm here for."

A nod, another little smile, and he left the office. Closed the door firmly behind him and traveled the length of dark offices, and down the steps. He would have much rather crawled into one of these dark rooms and slept until daybreak, but he wasn't too much of a coward, and he wouldn't even entertain the thought. He went downstairs, to the dark lobby yet to be locked by the janitorial staff, and waved at an elderly gentlemen who had been working in the building for ten years now. He stepped outside, seeing his apartment building right off the little street, and gazed at what he knew was his window for a little while. Almost wishing he lived there again, but knowing it would have been misery at its finest.

And a few minutes later, Lionel's limousine rolled to a stop in front of the building, and the window rolled down. "You called for a car?" Lionel asked softly.

He didn't say anything, just nodded, picking up his brief case and walking towards the car. He slid opened the door on the other side and slid in, letting it close with a light thunk behind him, and set his briefcase on the floor quietly. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He looked at Phillip's back. "Marrakech Symposium, on Alessa Avenue."

"I know it, Mr. Luthor. I'll get you there."

"Good man." Lionel sat back in the seat. "Eleanor enjoyed her presents; it's a shame you missed seeing her rip into them."

"There will be more presents, and more things she'll enjoy. She likes gifts and presents a great deal." He said it softly, as he looked at his gloved hands. "I'm very sorry, Lionel."

"Yes, she does. I promised her that Hans will put her little Ferrari together and give it a good once-over to make sure it's in good condition, though I don't know if she realizes that he is Lex's mechanic."

He was ignoring him. He turned to look out the window for a moment, as his heart clouded with pain and he watched the streets of Metropolis pass by. "She'll be happy, I should say."

"Yes, I think she will be. She was especially impressed with the working lights, the garage, and the Jacuzzi, not to mention that the closet came full of clothes. I just managed to escape before I was conned into playing someone named Ken."

"I'm sure you'll enjoy the tea parties our daughter will have you play with her." He said it, softly, and bit his lip tightly. He was nauseated beyond speech, and took a quiet breath as he rubbed a hand over his head.

"I've already considered buying her a bunny, just as I brought one for Eleanor."

One more time. "I'm sorry, Lionel."

"There's nothing to be sorry for."

"Yes, there is. You wouldn't be changing the subject, otherwise." He looked at him, quietly. "I overstepped, and hurt your feelings. I'm sorry to you, because you don't deserve that."

"You didn't overstep your bounds; as my husband, you don't have them. My feelings are my own; I shouldn't be so sensitive about them, and I won't let it happen again." He sighed softly at the end of it.

"Lionel, I gave you an ultimatum. That was not right of me. I overreacted, and didn't speak sensibly to you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for threatening to leave you, because I'm not going anywhere, ever. And I know you're angry at me, and hurt." He looked at him a little, before back down at his hands. "I'm very sorry."

"No, Dominic. I'm not angry. I am hurt, yes, but I am not angry. You had every right to make your opinion known to me, and I won't argue with you for doing it."

His throat bobbed, hard. Lionel wasn't going to accept his apology right now, and he looked back out the window. "Phillip? Stop off Anderson street, please, in front of Shoney's pub." A glance towards the other side of the car. "Care to take a drink with me?"

"Of course, Mr. Senatori." Phillip smoothly changed lanes and made the correct turn to take them to the requested bar.

"Of course I'll have a drink with you," Lionel answered calmly.

The bar wasn't as loud as it usually was, as it was Thursday night, and as soon as they parked he climbed from the car and out onto the street. It was nipping tonight, and he brought his coat close around him as he went around the car, and waited for Lionel to join him.

Lionel climbed out of the car after Dominic, his jacket wrapped carefully around him as he buttoned it over his chest. "Lively place."

"Usually. Its calm, tonight. Come on." He motioned his head and lead the way in. it was crowded, but not overly so, and he raised his hand at the portly man behind the bar. O'Malley Flint ran the most talked about bar in little Nantucket, and Dominic had frequented so much that they knew one another's life stories. He grasped Lionel's arm before remembering, and let go a moment later as they got to the bar amongst the throng. "Aye, O'Malley, and how are ya? We're looking for a little table, have you one open?"

O'Malley snorted and swept his arm around the bar. "Aye, Dom. Take y'pick o'the booths; God knows there's enough for ye."

"No, ya arse, I be meanin' the one that Sally May serves, you know." Sally May Flint made the best fucking Guinness he'd ever had in metropolis. Possibly ever. She was O'Malley's business partner and sister, and had a way about her liquor making that often made even the most grown of men cry.

"Aye, I know. Sweet Sally has th'eart of all th'men in th'city." He pointed towards the dark corner. "Take yer pick, and I'll make sure she serves ye."

"Thanks." A smile at him and he turned to Lionel, motioning him with him. "Sally May is O'Malley's sister. She has a heart of gold, and can make Guinness like my mother makes soda bread. She never married, as she's a bit unsightly, but as sweet as apple pie. A tragic bit of a tale about her, that I'll tell you some time." He motioned and slid into a booth that was lit very softly, and unbuttoned his coat a bit, as well as taking off his scarf.

Lionel settled quietly into the booth across from his lover, opening his coat as he slid in, setting his gloves to the side. "No Guinness for me tonight, thank you; I'll take bourbon."

He nodded and settled back, sliding his own gloves off as Sally came towards them.

Skinny as a rail, with huge brown eyes and mousy hair, Sally May Flint was in love with Dominic Senatori. Had been for the last ten years, and she exploded into an array of brays and squeals before fixing her hair, slathering on more lipstick when her brother told her he'd requested her. Sure, she'd heard all over the news and stuff that he was gay and married, but that didn't mean she couldn't flirt.

She slid from the back rooms, hardly larger than a stick, and smiled at Dominic broadly as she saddled up.

He was with Lionel Luthor. The rumors were true. DAMN. "Hoy their, and what can I be gettin' my favorite customer and his guest?"

"One of your famous Guinness, darling." A smile at her, before his eyes skittered to Lionel's. "Bourbon, you said?"

"Yes, please, bourbon." He smiled at the young lady. "I don't believe we've been introduced. Lionel Luthor." He held out his hand carefully.

"Sally May Flint, at your service." A big smile at him. "I have read all about you guys on the newspapers and magazines." A giggle. "I was so happy for our Dom to finnaly've found someone, and what a way, too. Good for you both." A smile at him. "Drinks for ya both're on the house, and no one knows you were ever here. We got two types'a bourbon, normal-like and the white from Ireland. What'll you have, sir?"

Lionel kissed her hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you." He gave her a smile. "I'm the lucky one, that he found me." He paused. "I think I'll try the white Irish, if you don't mind." He let go of her hand and straightened. "Thank you, dear lady."

She was a mess of giggles and nods, as she beamed at the both of them and scampered into the back rooms.

Dominic just chuckled, softly, at him, and looked down at the marred table. "I've been in here many, many times. They're wonderful people, and you know… hold on a moment." He slid from the booth and walked back over to the bar. "O'Malley, you still makin' calamari? If so? Want an order of um, as well as your shrimp on white sauce. Alright?"

"Aye, I'm still makin' 'em." He tossed the white bar mop over his shoulder and grinned toothily. "I'll send 'em over with sweet Sally when they're done, dinna fret. Shrimps'll be over in ten minutes."

"Thanks." He smiled and turned back, walking back to their little booth and settling on the other side, facing his lover, shifting a little. "You like new things, Lionel?"

Lionel's fingers were steepled on top of the table. "It depends on what they happen to be."

"Sea food I doubt you've had before."

Lionel's eyebrow elevated. "I've had most kinds of seafood at least once in my life, Dominic."

"I doubt you've had this." He smiled at him, a little, and shifted in his seat as he looked out over the bar. "Not the way they make it where I'm from. I think you're going to get sick from the water when we go home, by the way. We need to get Toni to give us some medicine for the belly. As it is, I'll bet I'm going to get sick, too, since I haven't drunk it in so long."

"Or we could simply pack a supply of bottled water, and have a filtration system installed in the home before we move into it," Lionel suggested dryly.

He didn't say anything, just looking away toward the bar. Didn't speak for a long moment, as he watched the Reds game going on the set that he knew Graham was following, and looked away and back towards his lover. "Its not so bad. The water, I mean. It just takes a bit of time to get used to it."

"You're the expert. I'll bow to your superior knowledge on the subject, Dominic."

"I'm not." He said it, softly, unsure if his lover was being sarcastic or not, and left it at that as he looked down at his hands. "Maybe we can stay here in Metropolis, at the apartment for the night. If it gets too late, anyhow."

"You're more than welcome to; I'll have Phillip return for you in the morning. But, I have work to do in the morning, and most of my materials are back at home."

He looked at him for a long moment, before down, once more. Their was a knot on his throat, and the last thing he wanted to do tonight was buy a crib for his child. It was supposed to be in love, and he couldn't go and buy her things when Lionel was so angry at him. Couldn't start out the endeavor of having a child in such a way, and cleared his throat softly without bringing attention to it, and looked away, towards the game again.

"They asked Lex to fly out and throw out the first pitch, but I believe he ended up declining because of the move," Lionel said conversationally.

"Mmm." he said softly. He didn't follow baseball... didn't know a pitch from a ball, though his sister had played American baseball for many years now, on a little woman's league in Metropolis. It used to amuse them both, because she was more butch than he was, but he didn't mind.

"Alright!" Sally May smiled and set the pint of Guinness in front of Dominic, and the tall round glass of white Irish bourbon in front of Lionel. The calamari as well, with two small, extremely clean and polished forks on linen napkins with the namesake of the pub on them, which she set on either side. "Enjoy! If you're to be needing refills of any sort, let me know, aye?"

"Of course we will, lovely lady." Lionel smiled gently at her again. "Thank you." He picked up one of the forks, speared a piece of the squid and inspected it.

Dominic waited a moment, instead taking a sip of the Guinness. He hadn't had it in months, and despite the negative connotations with it, it still tasted bitter, sweet, frothy and thick at the same time, and brought him nothing but pleasure. A soft sigh, and he took his own fork, spearing a bit with it and putting it in his mouth, chewing softly. "Pepper, oil and breaded crumbs, all fried together, with lemon squeezed over the top."

"Over the top of what, becomes the question." Lionel changed the angle, studying the fried concoction from another angle.

A little smile, but he didn't say anything more, just eating a little more and sipping his beer. It tasted fabulous with the lemon from the calamari, and he shifted a little in his seat, as he brought the napkin over to wipe his lips on.

He waited. "That was actually a cue for you to tell me what was fried with pepper, oil, bread crumbs and lemon."

"Mm. Squid." He nodded, softly. " From the Mediterranean." Dominic said, quietly. "Very good between French bread."

Fried squid. Fried. "I have had squid raw, broiled, grilled, and kebobbed, but never fried."

"Than you haven't lived, have you?" A raised brow. "Try it."

"It's... fried."

"Its really good." He ate another piece, chewing it thoughtfully.

"Dominic... fried?"

"Mmm." He was still chewing, raised brow as he took a sip of Guinness, both mixing around until he was swallowing a mouthful of sin.

"You cannot seriously expect me to eat fried anything."

He shrugged a shoulder, absently, but smiled a little. "You eat fried French fries."

"But the grease is drained, not left on the napkin."

"That's part of the charm, and the flavor. Its a special oil they import from Madrid, and its fabulous." A nod at him, tipping his head. "Try it. You'll love it, I'm nearly positive."

Lionel put the fried squid back on the plate. "I think I'll wait for the shrimp."

He shrugged, and ate another piece of it, chewing and mixing it with some of his Guinness, before swallowing. And offered Lionel the pint. "Want to try it?"

Shake of his head. "No, thank you."

"Okay." He se the glass back down, and shifted back against the seat, looking at him. "I hate this."

Lionel lifted the bourbon glass and drained the shot with a flick of his wrist. One might have said, bracing his courage. "What do you hate?"

He stared at his lover for a moment. "You know exactly what I do."

"Yes, actually, I do."

"I don't know how to make things right." He said softly.

"Here we go!" Sally smiled and set the steaming plate of shrimp scampi made with the same lovely oil the calamari was made with, and smiled at them both. "Can I get you something else to drink, Mr. Luthor?"

"Yes, please. Another shot of that fine white bourbon would be excellent, and if it's possible, could I have a snifter of Glenlivet hard scotch, no ice?"

"Of course, comin' right up." A smile and off she went.

"Sweet child, she is." Lionel looked at the lightly grilled scampi, and chose one of the shrimp with his fork, biting into it. "That's..." he coughed once as the grease slid down his throat, along with the garlic and butter. "That's quite a combination."

He was going to puke before they were through here. His belly was in knots, tight all over, and he just nodded at his lover. "It is. Do you like it?"

"I think that used properly, and drained, that it would be quite a good addition to Ms. Bird's kitchen," Lionel said, swallowing with a little difficulty but he got it down.

"Mm." He speared one with his fork and put it in his mouth, letting the thick buttery texture of it as it melted on his tongue give him a little pleasure, and even then it was weak. He chewed and swallowed, before sipping more of his drink.

Lionel watched in quiet surprise as Dominic was able to choke the food down with no problem, and raised a silent eyebrow.

He blinked at him. "I'm about to puke, Lionel, so don't look at me like that."

"For God's sake, if the food is going to make you sick, then don't eat it."

He shrugged a little, and took another shrimp, chewing on it softly as he looked down into his drink.

Lionel sighed as he watched Dominic eating. "I don't understand you. You're going to be sick, yet you keep eating."

"Glutton for punishment?" A little smile at him, as he took a sip of his drink.

"Would certainly fit our proclivities," he conceded, with a small upturn of his own lips.

"Indeed it would." Dominic swallowed a little bit, and looked at him. "I am sorry, Lionel. I didn't mean for it to turn out like this. I don't want you to be uncomfortable around me, and I don't want to boss your life around. I'm sorry."

"I'm not uncomfortable around you," Lionel said evenly.

"You are right now."

"No, I'm not. If I were uncomfortable with you, I would not have picked you up from the doctor's office, nor would I have patronized this establishment with you."

He nodded, a moment, looking down. "I know you're not saying it, but you're very angry at me. I can tell, just like all the times I could tell you were mad at me before we began to see one another. And upset, and sad. And I hate it, knowing I'm the one who did it to you."

"Angry? Why would I be angry with you, Dominic? Because you held our relationship hostage to a decision you didn't agree with my making? Because you've made it clear you disapprove of me and of the things I do? No, I'm not angry with you at all."

He flinched, and his throat worked hard as his stomach churched. "I don't disapprove of you, in any way. I wouldn't have married you if I did. And I'm sorry. I made a mistake, and I didn't mean it to turn out the way it did. I'm sorry, for hurting you and for doing as you said. Putting out relationship in that place, where it should have never gone."

"You're right. It never should have gone there." Lionel's voice was calm and even. "And yet it did. And will again, I'm sure."

"No, it won't. I won't let it." He looked up, his grip on his glass so tight. "I won't let it. I'm sorry. I don't know how else to tell you. I made a mistake, and I'm sorry. I have never thought of you and me like that before, and I never meant to put you in that type of situation."

"And yet," Lionel answered softly.

His chin trembled, but he fought it, keeping his heard closed tightly as he looked down, and didn't dare look up at him. "I make mistakes, too. It was an accident, it wasn't what I'd intended. I was just... I didn't want you to do that, and--" He stopped when he realized Sally was over them, and looked away as she set their drinks down.

"Sorry, bought that." She said softly, wincing as she set down Lionel's bourbon and scotch, and scooted off.

"What, exactly, did you intend, Dominic? Testing me, to see what my reaction would be? See which I valued more, you or my company? See if I would make the decision that suited you so you could tell the world that you've got Lionel Luthor cock-whipped?" Lionel threw back the bourbon without a blink, and set the empty shot glass back on the table.

"I'm sorry. You think that of me." His was going to be sick. "Because I don't. It was a mistake. It didn't come out the way I wanted it to. All I wanted you to do was think about what you were going to do. I never meant for you to think any of what you did. I wasn't testing you. I know the answer to that question already, and I've never had to prove it to anyone, not even myself."

"And you didn't believe me when I told you I had thought about it. That I had weighed the options and didn't see any other choice? It wasn't even my first choice, Dominic. And yet, that doesn't even satisfy you."

"Do you think of me, so badly, Lionel?" he asked it, so softly, and finally looked up.

"I was under the impression that it was you who thought so badly of me."

He shook his head softly. "No. I have never. You've been a wonderful man, you've made all the right choices, you've seen all the fly balls coming your way. You love me, me of all people, you've given everything to me, and up for me. Why would I ever think badly of you? All of your decisions have always turned out to be the right ones, Lionel. Why would I ever think badly of you?"

"You say that, and yet you can't trust me to make another decision. You don't believe that I'm capable of doing the right thing again. You must think badly of me to do that, Dominic. You must think badly of me, to lose your trust and faith in me and attempt to manipulate me." Lionel chugged down the scotch next. "And the hell of it all, is I allowed you to."

He looked down, and the tears fell before he could help it. "Fuck you. You know that? Fuck you. I make a mistake. I'm human. I make mistakes, and it was a mistake, it was an accident. I never meant for you to think that way, and that you would ever think that I would do something like this purposely... what, do you think I'm a manipulative little bastard, behind the big man, trying to move about his ways?" He was sobbing as he yelled at him, and didn't give a fucking damn. "Do you think all I want to do is manipulate you, hurt you, do these things to you on purpose? How can you think that, after you've shared my bed, and I've shared yours, I married you and took your name and we're going to have a child? How could you think I would ever think you less than a wonderful, beautiful man who LOVES me just because he CAN? HOW?!"

"Because the man that I married? Wouldn't have held my love for him hostage to anything. Not knowing how hard we fought to have it, to nurture it, and to protect it." Lionel slammed his hand down on the table, his only outward show of anger.

"No." His anger dissipated, into crushing sadness, as he looked across the table at his lover as the tears stroked down his cheeks. "He wouldn't have. But I'm me. I made a mistake, because I'm not perfect." His throat bobbed, hard. That was just about all he could take. His marriage was over, Lionel was looking at him with anger, hate, and fury in his eyes, and he couldn't take it. He imagined himself, climbing from the bar and handing O'Malley all that was in his wallet, and leaving. Forgetting all but his coat, walking away from this, and he would have, once. But not now. He had too much to lose, so much, and as much as he wanted to hide and make it go away, he was too far into this to do so. "I'm sorry I'm not perfect. I try to be."

Lionel reached across the table, and used his thumbs to wipe away the trails of tears. "Nobody is asking you to be perfect, Dominic. Close to it, yes. I won't deny that I have high expectations from you. However, I don't expect perfection, nor do I demand it. What I do demand is that I receive the respect and the proper treatment that is due to me, and Dominic... do not ever give me an ultimatum again."

"I won't." He said softly, but didn't move, at all. "I have given you respect, and proper treatment, for the last fifteen years of my life. This has been the one time I've messed up. I won't do it again." Sir. His eyes deadened, a sad and deep emerald even as they glassed and more tears fell down his cheeks. He was blind with them, but didn't give a god damn, because he was so upset he could barely move.

"I didn't think you would, but it still needed to be said." Lionel opened his jacket, got out his wallet, and laid a hundred dollar bill on the table. "Let's go; Marrakech will not wait all night for us."

"I don't think we should, today." He said, quietly. "I think we should go home. It can wait for another day."

"You can wait for another day, Dominic. I am going to buy our daughter's cradle tonight."

He shrugged, and his body ached. "I'll see you tomorrow, then." He climbed from the table and gathered his things, gloves and scarf, and put them on.

"I'll leave Phillip to drive you to the apartment and he will meet me at the store then."

"I'll walk. Thank you." He rose a hand and waved at O'Malley at the bar, apology in his expression for the disturbance, and left. Walked out onto the crisp walkway and he let his face crumble, shaking his head at Phillip and biding him goodnight with a hand as he turned left and walked up the sidewalk, hands deep in his pockets and agony in his heart. It was a short walk to the apartments, and he kept his lips tightly shut, as he walked into the lobby. It was short order up to his apartment, and he let out the hard sobs caught in his chest as soon as he got to his door. He could barely get it open, leaning against it the way he was, and it took him three tries before it opened under him. He all but fell in, onto his knees, and slammed the door as hard as he could closed, before leaning his back against the door and letting the sobs out. God, how he cried for what could have been, the tears shaking his shoulders as he did so.

Lionel watched Dominic walk out of the bar, and exited himself. He got silently into the car, waiting for Phillip to get into the driver's seat.

Lionel assumed that Phillip was taking him to Marrakech Symposium, and leaned his head against the back of the seat, closing his eyes and twisting the wedding ring on his fourth finger.

The car stopped much sooner than it should have, though Lionel expected a stoplight or traffic problem. He was shocked to hear the ignition turn off, and his door was opened a few minutes later by the ex-SEAL chauffeur.

They had stopped in front of Dominic's building. "Begging Mr. Luthor's pardon, sir," Phillip said softly, then got back into the driver's side, re-cranked the black limo, and drove off around the block.

Lionel stood at the foot of the building, looking up and feeling the keys weighting heavily against his thigh. He pulled out the ring of keys Dominic had given him, the ones that matched Dominic's own, and twirled through them until he found the one for the apartment door. Resolution in mind, he pushed through the revolving door, nodded to the woman behind the desk, and waited for the elevator to descend.

As soon as it did, he got in, pressed Dominic's floor, and waited in silence. The elevator dinged it's arrival, and as soon as he stepped off the elevator car, he heard the sobbing and it broke his heart. He followed it to his lover's door, and slipped his key in the lock, turning it.

Someone pushed at his door and he whirled up, standing in the dark, with the baseball bat he'd kept by the front door for precisely the reason. One could never be safe enough in metropolis, and he reared it to let it crash when he saw the tell tail beard, and the soft long hair he loved to run his fingers through. "I'm sorry." He let the bat drop bat into its spot, and turned around, flipping the light on in the kitchen. He didn't look at him, just began to shuck out of his jacket and his scarf. "Is there something you need?"

"Phillip seems to think so; I was put on the curb in front of your building without a word said, and he drove away."

He shrugged. "Theirs brandy in the fridge, if you'd like some. If you'll excuse me." he turned, and walked down the hall and into his bedroom. His bed, his cozy bed, and he stared at his things for a long moment of sadness, before he began to pull his clothes off. Polo shirt, hot and sticky from the day, and his slacks. Dropped his underwear and he walked into his very small bathroom, so different from at home--...at Lionel's mansion, and he got under the spray that waited for a moment to kick to hot.

Took a quick shower, washing face and body, and got out after he was finished. Dressed in simple jeans and a white t-shirt. He didn't intend on packing, as he thought he might have. He was going to get stone cold drunk, watch X-Men on DVD, and sleep, and he pulled his socks on and came back out into the main room. "I'm sorry to have kept you waiting. Do you want to call a cab?"

Lionel was sitting on the couch, overcoat gone, suit jacket tossed aside, tie untied and thrown to the side, shirt unbuttoned to his mid chest. The brandy bottle sat untouched in front of him, and Lionel was just staring at his reflection in it, fingers stroking the graying corners of his beard.

He came around the couch, and repeated what he'd said. "Would you like to call a cab?"

"Hmm? Oh. A cab." He pondered. "No, I don't think a cab is necessary."

Dominic shrugged again, quietly, as he seemed to be doing that a lot this evening, the worst of his life with the only exception of Lawrence, and went into the kitchen. The glasses were a little dusty from being up so long, but he washed one quickly with a bit of dish liquid and a paper towel. Rinsed...filled it with a few pieces of ice, and then poured a tall vodka on the rocks. No need for orange juice. He took the bottle with him and sat on the small two person love seat that sat in an L shape with the main couch, and didn't say a word as he took a long drink from his glass.

"Did you know that when Lex was a boy, he used to drink water, out of the glass, just like you're drinking now?" Soft smile. "He wanted to be so grown up, so much like his father, that whenever I made myself any kind of a drink, he had to have one that looked like it. Soda, water, juice, anything that to his mind matched the color of the drink I was having."

"Sounds like him." He simply said, drawing his legs under him and putting his back against the corner of the small couch he'd slept on most nights he could remember. "He's a good boy. Cares for you, very much."

"Yes, he does." Lionel kept studying his reflection in the bottle. "I think, in a way, it's good he grew out of it. I don't want my son to become a bitter old man."

"He grew up to be you more than you think." Was all Dominic said, as he finished the vodka off without a sound and poured himself another. Half the bottle left, and he'd finish it before the hour was over. He watched the reflection in the glass, quietly, studying the light patterns Metropolis was giving off from his enormous, wall to wall window.

"Old? Or bitter?"

"Strong and resilient."

"Ah. Now, there are two words that you love to hear in your old age. Strong and resilient." He didn't look up from his reflection. "I won't argue strong with you, but I will argue resilient."

"You are." He said it, tiredly, softly. "I wish you knew that."

"What, resilient? No. I'm many things, Dominic, but I don't bounce back."

"I'm not sure I meant it in that capacity. No one bounces back. I meant...you are capable of staying sane, even with what life throws at you."

"That's not resilience," Lionel said dismissively. "That's just good acting."

"Perhaps. Good acting is sometimes all we have." Dominic said it, very quietly, and lay his head against the back of the couch as he looked out at Metropolis.

There was a quiet rattle as Lionel shook out one of the tablets Dr. Nacheyez had prescribed for him during their last session, and swallowed it, following with a sip of brandy and sighing. "Perhaps."

"The man from the antique place is going to close."

"Yours or mine?"

"Yours."

"He'll either stay open long enough for me to complete my purchase later tonight, or he'll close and I'll do it in the morning."

He was very quiet, for a very long moment, as he set the glass between couch and belly, and said to the dark windows, "Do you want a divorce?"

"A... divorce." Lionel said it quietly. "Do you?"

"No. I'd rather kill myself. But I'm asking you."

"You know the answer to that," Lionel replied, even softer than before.

A slight nod, and he still didn't speak, just raising the glass and drinking from it. He tugged the pillow from beside his leg over his lap, and leaned back against the comfortable chair arm.

Lionel recapped the brandy bottle and sighed. "I should go."

He turned his head, a little. "What does it look like?"

"The cradle?"

A slight nod.

"It's nearly as tall as our footboard. It rocks, suspended between two oaken uprights. The cradle itself is curved slightly, like the hull of a large boat, and it's covered with woodworking and carvings." He put his jacket back down over the back of the sofa. "There's a scene near the head, of a deep forest with small fairies."

His throat worked, hard, as he turned back into the pillows. "It sounds very beautiful." he said quietly, as he fought not to cry again, instead taking a long, hard drink from his glass.

"It is beautiful. That's why I want it for our daughter."

"Then catch a cab, and go buy it." He said from his spot on the couch. "If you want it, have it."

"As much as I have strived to teach both you and my son otherwise, this world is not entirely based on the want-take-have system."

"Yes it is. If you don't do it, someone else will."

"Is that another threat, Dominic?"

It was like a knife, in his back. And he just stared out the window. "Maybe you were right. Maybe you should leave."

"Maybe I should, at that." Lionel got to his feet again, picking up his jacket and coat.

He didn't speak, as he looked out the window, and just buried his face in his hands, the glass slipping from his grasp and wetting the entire couch cushion as he did it, knees pulled up tight.

Lionel dropped his things back on the couch for the third time, then went to kneel in the floor beside his lover. His hands wrapped lightly around Dominic's wrists, tugging them away from his face.

"Get the f-fuck away f-f-from me." But the words were shaken with sobs, as he tried to yank free from him.

Lionel let go of his lover's hands, and pushed up to his feet.

"I let you inside m-me, I shared everything I a-am with you, I l...loved you, I gave you everything, everything in my heart, and y… you would think, think me, underhanded, think a-after fifteen years I w-would do something like this." He could barely speak he was crying so hard, silent, that shook his entire body and clenched his chest so tightly that he could hardly breath. He didn't know what to do with himself, could barely breath with the pain and sadness he was in, and finally covered his face again with his hands. He couldn't let Lionel see him, not like this, and he dropped his head to his knees, arms covering the top of it.

Lionel turned his back to his lover. "I loved you, Dominic. More than anyone else in this world, you know what a challenge that was for me, and yet, I loved you. I overcame the doubts and the fears for you, I told myself and convinced myself that you would never hurt me. That you would never use what I felt for you against me, because you loved me you wouldn't do that. I gave you my life. I gave you my trust, my memories, my heart, everything that didn't already belong to my son, I gave to you. For you, I changed who I was. For you, I moved the world, I shifted my entire life for you. And it wasn't enough. You did the one thing tonight that I never thought you would ever do to me. And mistake or not, it hurt me more than I can say. It hurt because it was you."

That was it. It was over. A day which had begun to happily, a day where Lionel had come to make love with him and be with him and it was over. It was all...over. If Lionel left tonight, Dominic wouldn't see daybreak. He wouldn't let it, because without Lionel, there was no life for him. He was done, finished, and over, and he would go to his grave knowing how he had hurt this person he loved so much. "I'm sorry. I'm s-so sorry." And it was all he could think to say, and he stared at the man standing before him. "I'm so sorry, I'm s-sorry."

"I know you're sorry, Dominic."

"Its n-not enough." He whispered.

"I don't know what would be enough," Lionel answered back. "But God help me, I still love you."

"Don't love me." He said it on a sob. "I'm not worth loving."

At that, Lionel turned around. "Yes, you are."

"No, I'm n-not." He shook his head, as his shoulders shook. "I'm not worth it. Why did you ever marry me? Why, L-Lionel? I'm not worth this. I'm not worth anything."

Lionel's face was distressed. "You are, Dominic. You're worth so much to me. I wouldn't... I wouldn't be having a child with you." He turned back around, got back on his knees in front of his lover, hiding the wince as old joints creaked quietly. "I wouldn't love you, despite everything, if you weren't worth something." He caught Dominic's hands in his own, rubbing them between his palms.

He shook his head, the tears running down his cheeks even as he stopped sobbing with them. "You can barely look at me. I'm not worth it, Lionel. I'm not. I wasn't worth it then, and I'm not worth it now." Lawrence had been right, so many years ago. He wasn't worth it, to anyone, and all he was was an overemotional little bitch who didn't know how to take anything.

He was going to be sick. He felt it, churning in his belly, and he held on to it. So tightly. He couldn't talk to Lionel about anything, couldn't say how he felt, couldn't tell him anything anymore, if this happened. Couldn't do it, no, no. "Tell me n-now. Are you sure you d--don't want a divorce?"

"I'm sure." Lionel squeezed Dominic's hands tightly between his larger ones. "I don't want to divorce you; I don't want to leave you, I don't want you to leave me." He dropped Dominic's hands in favor of wrapping his arms around trembling shoulders.

The touch was unexpected, and he let Lionel hug him, as he stared down at his shoulder. "Okay." Was all he said, as he pulled away a little. "I'm going to be sick." He climbed to his feet, and pushed around the couch, vodka staining his jean thigh and the couch even as he stumbled down to his bedroom, and slammed the bathroom door. Threw open the toilet and a moment later, threw everything he'd eve eaten in his life up. He wretched and cried at the same time, which was as hard as it seemed, throwing up and sobbing at the same time.

Lionel pushed himself to his feet, bracing on the arm of the couch as he did, and followed his lover into the bathroom. He opened the door, and then the only window in the small bathroom, then opened the linen cabinet and pulled out a soft white washcloth. He turned to the sink and wet the washcloth under the water for several minutes, then wrung it out and crouched beside his lover, wiping off his face and his forehead.

He pulled the seat down and leaned against the lid as his lover wiped his face clean, and opened his eyes, to look at him. Just look at him, at the misery he's caused and the misery he was in.

Lionel didn't say anything, just wet and wrung out the cloth three more times, each time wiping his face, his mouth, and his cheeks clean. He retrieved a clean cloth, soaking it in cool water, and he pulled Dominic up to his feet. "You should lie down."

He got up, just nodding, straightening until he could wipe his clammy hands on his jeans, and didn't stop looking at him... pulling his eyes away when he thought Lionel would look his way, but then brought them back. Didn't say anything, just walking with him, into the bedroom.

Lionel snagged the washcloth from the sink, and carried it with him, guiding his lover to the bed and pushing him down on it. "sssh," Lionel said softly, and sat down on the side beside him.

He sat down, without a word, then lay back, still not speaking as he watched him. He lay half on his side, propped by pillows, and looked over Lionel's shoulder at his telescope, where the coordinates were still set to Lionel's star. The sadness swamped him, made his eyes close and his chin tremble, just for a moment, before he opened them again. His Lionel had died tonight, and the person who sat here… he didn't even know if it was him anymore. The grief hurt, so much, so deeply. "Its my dream." He simply said, and felt the cold clammy fingers digging into his hair again. The fingers of death and grief.

"What's your dream?" Lionel asked softly, pulling Dominic onto his back. "Here.... lay down. On your back." He let the soft, cool cloth drape over Dominic's forehead.

He just shook his head, and closed his eyes.

"Tell me?" It was more of a question than a demand.

He didn't answer, just lay there, on his sheets and covers, and closed his eyes again, behind the cloth. "Call Phillip. Let him go home for the evening, instead of driving around Metropolis."

"Are you sure you don't mind me staying?" He asked it softly, even as his large hand rested on the cloth, stroking it.

A slight shake of his head under Lionel's hand.

"Is that a yes I can stay?"

"Yes, you can stay."

Lionel reached over and picked up the phone. A few short words with Phillip, and he had arranged to remain for the night. He looked back at his lover. "Tell me what your dream is?"

"My dream was that death and suffering would grab hold of me, and stab me with its knives, over, and over, and over. And Id bleed, and the wounds would be gaping maws in my half healed, sick body, and what was fought for for so long...was gone." He said it, very, very quietly. "That was my dream."

Lionel reached down, sought Dominic's hand with his own, wrapped long fingers through it. "Then aren't you glad it didn't come true?"

He didn't say anything to that, and couldn't find himself to hold his lovers hand back. Just lay there, limply, and fight not to die.

Lionel felt Dominic's hand clammy in his, felt that his lover wasn't holding him back, and he sighed softly. "Jiminy... please."

He never answered. Just fell asleep, with Lionel's hand in his, expecting an answer Dominic couldn't give to him.

 

-fin-

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