The Memoirs

For the longest time, Dominic was sure he should have been Jaguar's poster boy.

His little blue jag, creamy leather and comfortable air within, rocked with music he had running as he took the exit into the heart of Metropolis. Janet Jackson, her teeny voice and heavy beat screaming through the radio made him wriggle in the drivers seat as he turned down the street. His fingers bopped against the steering wheel as he sang along, keeping a wary eye on the traffic as he navigated like a pro, making the sleek little midnight blue machine do what he wanted with each turn of the wheel and push of gas.

His hair was still damp from both pool and shower, feeling clean and fresh in the warm April evening. He'd gone easy, with a long sleeved shirt with the sleeves tugged up, in a shade of blue that he loved, and his black slacks. An easy, casual outfit for a night of shopping, dinner, and the theater. He pushed through traffic, still happily singing along and tapping his left foot to the beat as he cut into the old LuthorCorp building.

Lionel had come earlier in the evening to get the last of the papers signed to have the building turned over to the city once more. It made Dominic wistful, in a way, but in a deeper, happier way, he was ecstatic. Getting rid of the bad and moving onto the good was always a wonderful thing, even if one was prone to nostalgia. He'd really hated it though, with all its cold architecture and colder atmosphere. What a difference, from the buildings in Smallville to the ones here. Here was direct, angular, cold and metal. In Smallville... warm, rounded, earth colors and paintings as beautiful as the Sistine Chapel.

Oh, Dominic smiled.

He parked the car and cut the radio, turning the air circulator off, his lights, his windshield wipers in the light misty rain, and finally tugged his keys out. He shouldered into his slender leather coat and snagged his umbrella in case it began to rain harder. The last thing he wanted, with a sniffly lover, was for it to pour rain and Lionel to be soaked through. He pocketed the keys quickly and hopped out, rounding the car with squishy shoes on the damp asphalt and hopped up the steps to the building, tugging the glass door open and rubbing a hand through his slightly damp hair. The main foyer was completely quiet, strangely enough, but then he caught the lights coming from the main surveillance room, and he followed it.

Lionel was sitting behind the main security terminal, feet propped up on the desk, idly staring at the camera that had been in his office. The room was barren now, all the furniture, the paintings, everything, moved out.

There was a crumple of plastic in the corner, a rubber band and a paper clip in the middle of the floor, smudges on the great glass cathedral windows behind where his desk had sat.

The samurai swords were gone, back in their place of honor in Smallville, behind his desk. He didn't look up as Dominic came in, just kept staring at the monitor, at his empty office.

Yeah. He noticed the sullen mood, the quiet mood, and he set the umbrella down carefully on the countertop behind Lionel, and carefully stepped forward, crouching low beside his lover. "Hello, Lionel."

"Hello, little cricket." Lionel steepled his fingers over his mouth as he leaned forward, putting his elbows on the table. "I see it's still drizzling outside." He gestured towards the outside surveillance camera, lens fogged over by raindrops.

"Indeed it is. It seems, however, its drizzling in here, as well." He couldn't help it. Before, when he wasn't able to touch, before, when they'd been in that office and he wished to god he could have touched his lover, didn't exist anymore. Now he could, without preamble, and his fingertip, just the one, stroked tenderly over his lovers cheek, down to the corner of his lips. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm quite fine." He looked up at his lover then, gave a small smile. "I'm just... thinking. Remembering." He caught Dominic's hand and kissed the palm as it cupped his cheek.

"A lot of things happened in this building, Lionel." Dominic murmured back, softly. "A lot of things. Some good, some not so good... some plain bad. Do you miss it, lover?"

"No, I don't. Not really." He sighed. "It's just a physical place, I know that, but it's the place I've spent most of my adult life. All the work I've done I know has gone into the company itself, and not the building--but it's hard to see it that way when the building is stripped so bare."

"Indeed. But you know, I was just thinking as I drove up... this building has always been so cold, so... straight. You've changed, the coldness and the frigidity has gone out of your soul. For the most part." Said with a wicked, crooked grin, that he let come and go. "Who you are, the work you've done, isn't the building itself. If anything, I think it was holding you back. When before you had one building, now you have eight."

A very soft snicker at the straight comment. "I don't know that the building was holding me back, Dominic. Perhaps... perhaps I was behaving within these walls as my family would have expected, but that's hardly the building's fault." He ran his hand over the security desk, before finding the button that would flip off the monitors and the power to the lobby, all that was left on now. Everything else had been shut down by the city manager when they'd come downstairs earlier.

"We had good times, here. But we also had bad ones, Lionel. I think you've grown, expanded, and changed, all for the good." he gently stroked his lovers face, turning his eyes to him. "The building doesn't make you who you are. I think, had the old coot still been breathing, he would have been so indescribably proud of you for what you've accomplished, the empire you've made in the family name, and all you've done for your community and for the business world. You have succeeded baby, in ways people could only dream about."

Lionel kissed his lover's hand gently again. "I don't think he'd ever have been proud--or satisfied--by anything I did. However? I'm proud of what I've done, with you. And you're right. The building doesn't make those accomplishments any more or less important or momentous." He flicked the first switch, and the cameras blinked off, and the consoles went dark. "Are you ready to say goodbye here?"

"I was ready to say goodbye a long time ago, Lionel." Dominic answered, softly, in the near dark, the only thing illuminated were the front hall and the lightening that cracked the sky. "This place has given us both much heartache and pain, and I'm glad to be rid of it, if only now that their is a beautiful, wonderful place where LuthorCorp is located."

Lionel shouldered his briefcase, where the last necessary papers were tucked away. He reached back under the desk, and flicked the second switch, darkening the building entirely. "Goodbye," Lionel said softly, and he walked carefully out from behind the desk, the path illuminated by the streetlights outside, and he slipped his arm around his lover's waist. "Let's go."

Dominic snuggled him right back, snagging the umbrella, and let him lead them both out to the front foyer. He stopped, a moment shy from the doors as the clouds parted and rain poured, and in the basking glow of the lightening kissed his lover. He slanted his mouth, pressing his tongue in deep to give and to love, body pressed close to his for a long moment as he did it. When he let go, slipped away, he kissed his lovers parted lips once more tenderly, and rubbed his fingers over a the corners of Lionel's lips. "I love you, Lionel."

Lionel kissed his lover back, hand sliding over his lover's back and then falling away to turn and lock the great glass doors. Once they were locked, Lionel took the key from his key chain, and, per their agreement with the city, dropped it through the mail slot to bounce on the tile floor. "Good riddance, Metropolis," he said quietly, and turned back to his lover. "Put your umbrella up," he said, voice still soft, and he didn't look back.

Dominic peered out at the torrential pouring rain, and their little hiding spot under the eaves. "You know, the first time this happened, I must have been twenty seven, and you wrapped your arm about my waist and hid under the umbrella with me. Did you know that after I got home I had to jack off four times before I could calm down?" He was snickering, wickedly, as he pulled the umbrella up and fished out his keys. The car might have been only ten feet away, but ten feet in pouring rain meant soaked underwear. "Come on love, come grab onto me and lets get to the car."

Lionel laughed, and put up his own umbrella, a large golf-sized one that he'd left in the office and only just retrieved. "Here, I think this should be sufficient to get us out to the car unharmed?"

"There you go! See, you were always a better boy scout than I. Watch the puddle over to your left lover." He hid under the umbrella and stepped out into the rain, clicking the car door open with the remote and quickly got in, getting a little wet in the process but it didn't matter too much as he slid into the jag and opened the passenger side door a fraction for his lover to get in. The sopping wet umbrella he slid onto the passenger side back seat floor on plastic covering he'd put their for that very reason, and shivered as he started the car up with a purr.

Lionel followed at the same pace, closing his umbrella and stowing it in the back seat, getting less wet than his lover as he'd been under the umbrella longer, and he looked at his watch. "Now, tell me, why were we so desperate to conclude by nine-thirty?"

"Because, darling. We've a meeting with the beautiful and stunning Dr Elaine, dinner and the theater, and shopping. Of course." A big smile his way, eyebrow up. "We don't have to be in until noon tomorrow, and I know we said something about sleeping, but who needs sleep when we could have a fabulous evening alone?"

Soft grumble. "Who's bright idea was it to meet with Elaine tonight, hmm?"

"Yours." Stunning smile. "You made the appointment about two weeks ago, and shame on you for not remembering. Honestly, Lionel." A mock tsk as he got the car in gear, putting on the air so it would circulate the humid spring air, and pulled his seat belt on. "I got the junk out of the trunk this time, so we can get the shopping bags in their without hassle."

An evil glare towards his husband. "I do believe I've had a bit more on my mind lately than remembering therapy appointments. That's why I have you to remind me." He leaned over and kissed his lover's cheek, watching in the rearview mirror as the street lights glinted off the empty granite hunk that had once been the LuthorCorp logo sign in front of the building as they started to pull away. "Wait... shopping?"

Big. Broad. Grin. He caught his lovers look in the rear view mirror, and turned his gaze on him with a dazzling smile. "I've got the designs in the portfolio right there in the glove compartment, of logo creations. Theirs one of marble and granite you're going to die for. They can have the sign made and up by next week, if you chose what you want tomorrow. And! Shopping. Of course shopping. I didn't wire myself on caffeine for nothing, after all." He turned the knob before turning the radio on, so the noise wouldn't blast, and pushed it to an old rock station as he flipped his lights on, his windshield wipers, and pulled out of his temporary parking, starting again out to the main road.

"Where... are we going to go shopping at?" Lionel asked cautiously, reaching into the glove compartment and flipping through the sketches in the portfolio, but nothing in there held his attention, and he tucked the drawings away again before they could get wet and smudged. Instead, he leaned back in the car, fingers running through his hair as he listened to the radio. "And, what are we going to see at the theater?"

"Babies R. Us." Dominic replied cheerfully, hoping that just by the power of his positive thinking Lionel wouldn't get so gloomy. It was dark within the car, the only light the headlights in front and the bright green internal lights from the radio and the dash clock that read 9:36. In the little light Lionel appeared more handsome than ever, rugged and sexy, and Dominic turned a quick glance at him, a smile, before concentrating back on the road. "I'm the luckiest man on earth."

Lionel gave an involuntary shudder, and he dropped his eyes as the tower receded in the distance. "Babies... R Us? That horrible mass-merchandising chain store that caters to the unwashed masses of humanity in Metropolis?"

"Yep!" Dominic answered cheerfully. "They're closed, but I put a call in early yesterday evening so that you and I could have the store to ourselves tonight. Clothes, toys, shoes. You've never been in there, Lionel... its lovely. Truly, and I don't mean it to goad at you. There are baby rooms set up on a floor all to themselves, where you can walk in and see the separate sets. Its really lovely."

Another shudder. "I think I'd rather walk across broken glass barefoot."

"Tough! Hah!" Snicker. "You're going to go with me, because you love me deeply and you want what I want."

"I am going with you because I have no other transportation in Metropolis, save the helicopter, and the weather is too bad to have it fly me anywhere," Lionel corrected. "Is Andrew meeting us there, or could he not make it tonight?"

"He couldn't make it. I didn't give a flying leap. The man is more obvious than we are, and all this talk of girlfriend this, girlfriend that frankly turns my stomach." he made a face at his lover in the dark, and reached over, carefully, to hold his hand as he drove through the slick streets. "If you're tired, we can stay at my apartment overnight, or your penthouse, whichever you'd prefer."

"By obvious, I do assume you mean, flaming." He snickered, and closed his eyes on the headrest. "No, little cricket, I'm fine. I don't relish the idea of shopping at any store with R Us in the title, but I shall survive it, and endure it as I do all other things."

"Play the martyr, why don't you." Another snicker from the drivers seat to match his lovers, and he squeezed Lionel's hand. "I'm sure you'll positively suffer through shopping for your daughter, who you've already spent thousands of dollars on."

"And I'm quite proud. We're building quite the nursery for our little princess." He turned his head on the rest to look at his lover. "Do you think it's too early to worry about furnishing a regular bedroom for our daughter as well?"

"Indeed. Though I think that her nursery should be her room. Once she outgrows the crib, she can have a big girl bed, to replace it. That's why you buy things that match, lover, so that when the time comes, all you have to do is replace one with the other."

"Bah. With money, you have custom made things to match the decor. Besides, it won't be that hard, we can make the room across from the nursery her bedroom; she can have both rooms."

Dominic shook his head once as he drove, stopping at a red light with a slow squeak from the breaks. Time to get the bastard things changed again. "Too many rooms will confuse her, darling. Just one, right across from ours. I feel safer that way."

"She'll need a playroom, Dominic, and then as she gets older, a place to do her schoolwork and such. We'll need to convert the room across the hall from the nursery anyway, for her toys and such, and later, her desk and bookshelves." Lionel had it all mapped out, in his head, down to the titles of the books on the shelves.

"As you'll have it, angel." Dominic chuckled, softly, and squeezed his hand again. "I'm going to be too protective. Give me swift kicks from time to time, will you?"

"Of course I will." Lionel left his hands laced behind his head as they drove down the streets. "I think we should see about having a stable built, as the current one has been converted into the gardener's work shed."

"Horse shed?" his heart jack tripped in his chest. "Why a horse shed?"

"Because how else are we going to teach our daughter to ride a horse?"

"Lionel.." More jack tripping, and firm pains in his heart. "Are you sure that would be a good idea? Haven't you ever seen Gone with the Wind?"

"Yes, I have. I also know what happened to actor Christopher Reeve. However, I'm quite an accomplished rider, and so is Lex; I won't deprive my daughter of that same experience because I am afraid for her. I was terrified to let Lex on the back of a horse, but he took to it like a professional. If she doesn't like it, then we won't make her, but I want the opportunity." Lionel sighed.

"Okay. I understand." He answered it back. "I... am just terrified. And irrational, as it won't be till five years down the road." Another deep, slightly trembly sigh as he passed his apartment building and continued on down the small street to where the white building sat, Dr. Elaine waiting for them.

"At least five, Dominic. I wouldn't let her on the horse until she's at least nine or ten, when she is old enough and strong enough to handle one. I will have the best riding coaches, and I will be riding with her."

"Good. I want... her to have swimming lessons, as well. If she wants to, anyway. None of that useless ballet shit."

Lionel just chuckled. "Listen to us. Our baby isn't even born yet, and we're already planning her life for her." Soft smile as he brought his hands down to cross over his stomach instead. "Horseback riding, swimming lessons, a study across from her bedroom."

"Of course. And a club house, and a tree house out in the yard. Painted yellow, with bitty frilly curtains, I should say." He grinned, then, and glanced at his lover. "She's going to be pierced and tattooed before she's 15 out of spite for us, you know."

"Oh, of course. And the beautiful paintings on the wall and the ceiling will be covered with rock and roll posters, and black velvet paintings." Another snicker. "And she'll learn from her aunt Shayla how to dye her hair every color of the rainbow."

"Of the latest boy bands, naturally. Her desk? Covered in bottles of nail polish and makeup. Her closet? Unspeakable." And because Dominic could see it so clearly, he grinned, broadly, and chuckled softly. "And we'll love her for it when she decides to paint her study polka dots and reindeer or some such nonsense."

"There'll be glitter everywhere, and a large mirror ball hanging from the ceiling fan."

"And we'll just dust our clothes after she hugs us and be on our way." But he was smiling, broadly, and there were little tears in his eyes. "And we'll enjoy it, every moment of it, because she's ours and we made her from our love."

"That's right," Lionel said softly. "No matter what she chooses to do... we're always going to love her." A little chuckle as he imagined the glitter and the mirror ball and the blinking strobe light. "I think Lex will help to keep her out of a lot of trouble."

"I think Lex will join her in getting in trouble." Dominic shot back, as he pulled the car into the parking lot and took a space he could easily get out of. it was still raining, though not as hard, and he unhooked his belt after putting the car into park. "Alright love. One umbrella or two?"

"I think one should suffice, but bring yours just in case it's raining more when we come out." Lionel reached into the back seat, and with just a little difficulty, pulled the umbrella out. "There, you take it, and I'll meet you in front of the car. The building isn't that far away, we shouldn't get too wet."

"You've got the sniffles, and I won't be having any more damned doctors visits. I've had it up to my ass in hospitals, needles, pumps and pulleys darling." Dominic glared, daring him to argue. "I'll be around with the umbrella." And with that he slid quickly out of the car in the downpour and pffted to himself. Not get too wet his blond ass. He ducked under the water droplets as much as he could until he got the umbrella open, then came around to his lovers side quickly and nodded at him to come out.

Lionel just sighed, and rather than argue about it, he allowed himself to be coddled by his lover. He got out quickly under the umbrella, picking up Dominic's smaller one just in case, and left everything else locked in the car as they hurried towards the building overhang.

They narrowly missed having soaked feet by a puddle or two, but by the time they got to the overhang it was relatively safe. Dominic lowered the umbrella and closed it, shaking it out and folding it back up as he opened the front door at the same time, and entered the darkened building. "Come now, angel."

Lionel calmly gritted his teeth. "Please don't call me angel, Dominic. And please don't treat me like I'm five years old." He took a deep breath. "Contrary to popular belief, I do have the sense to come in out of a shower of rain, and while I understand that you are worried about me... if you coddle me one more time, I will have to hurt you."

A soft, soft sigh, a roll of his eyes, and he motioned with his umbrella for his lover to enter the building. "I wouldn't treat you like you were five if you were watching where you're going. I meant it when I said no more illness. My hair is going to fall out and turn white, completely, you realize. I'll coddle you if I wish because I know you like it, now get in."

"I am watching where I'm going." More gritted teeth, but he opened the door to the building, paused by the security guard's booth as they were both checked and their appointment verified, and then were escorted to the elevators, as it was definitely after business hours. "It's quite kind of Elaine to see us after her normal hours are over," he said over his shoulder to his lover, as he waited for the car to rise.

Dominic could all but hear Lionel's teeth grinding and he smiled, broadly, slipping into the elevator and whistling his favorite pub song as they waited for it to rise. One hand looped around Lionel's bicep, holding on tightly as he kept his mind off of what was happening, and smiled over at him. "I think she saves the best for last."

"Mmm. That would explain quite a few things." Lionel sighed. "This will be the last time we see the lovely lady before our well-earned vacation, you realize." Another sigh. "I'll make sure to take her number with us, however, in case of emergency."

"You're meeting the rest of my family, ducks. We might want to have her as a carry-on, you see." Dominic grinned from beside him, tense fingers sliding down to meet his lovers and link. "I'm sorry for being a coddler, baby. I can't help it, you see. I am forever destined to worry whenever you get the sniffles and coughs."

"Oh, yes. I wonder if she'd consent to leaving her practice and traveling with us." He tightened his fingers around Dominic's. "It's all right, Dominic. I understand that you're worried about me. I really do. I just... trust in my ability to take care of myself, all right?" Kiss to his forehead. "we'll have to ask her to extend the prescription too."

"Alright." A moment, as he squeezed Lionel's hand, and felt like he'd hurt his lover, and he shifted absently as the elevator pinged. The hallway was dark, except for the light coming out from down the hall, and he stepped over onto the landing and off the elevator with his lover. "Your prescription or mine?"

Quiet snort. "Both of them, actually, but I was thinking about mine. Everyone I've dealt with keeps telling me how much more tolerable I am now that I've been medicated, and I haven't heard one further accusation about being bi-polar. I don't particularly care for the idea, but as it seems to be helping, I'll continue with it." Then a grin. "Besides, I think that I'll need all the help I can get dealing with your family. You will translate for me, yes?"

"But of course." Another grin at him. "They're a boisterous lot, but giving and loving to everyone. You'll like them, I should think." Dominic answered it, softly, as he squeezed his hand gently and brought his hand to his lips to gently kiss. "I'm sorry for being pushy and coddling you. I should know by now how you hate it."

He kissed Dominic's hand when his was released. "It's all right, Dominic," Lionel stressed carefully. "I don't mind it, unless there's a lot of it," he answered again. "I don't mind the odd bit of it, and when it's bringing me hot coffee in front of the fireplace, it's actually quite pleasant." He paused outside the door and brought his lover against him, arms around his waist. "I wouldn't have married you, Dominic, if I didn't love you, coddling included."

His lips spread, and his dimples winked. "Good. I knew Id be able to guilt you into Babies R Us." A low, wicked snicker, a reach in or a peck on the lips as the thunder rolled, and he knocked on the door and smiled as he opened it. "Elaine, hello."

"Dastardly man," Lionel accused under his breath as he walked into the office, peeling off the new London-tailored raincoat and tossing it on the coat rack behind the door. "Good evening, Doctor."

Elaine folded her hands on the desk. "Hello, Dominic. Good evening, Lionel. Can I offer you anything to drink?"

"Thank you, no." He beamed it as he slunk into the chair in front of her, sliding out of his coat and shifting. They didn't have much to talk about, just pleasant visiting that did both Lionel and himself good every once in a while, and he pulled the sleeves of his shirt up a little as he beamed.

"No, thank you. We're just on our way... shopping." Lionel couldn't help the dread in his voice. "At... Babies R Us."

Elaine observed him for several seconds. "You must be hating that."

Dominic rolled his eyes as he watched Lionel sitting next to him, and he shifted and tugged a leg under him as he got comfortable, reaching across the desk to give Elaine a cheek to cheek kiss. "Of course he does darling. I had the appointment made when the store is already closed, though."

"Which is, for the record, the only way that he could possibly get me into the store."

Elaine returned the kiss to Dominic's cheek and smiled. "Still having that problem dealing with the rest of humanity, hmm?"

"Oh, that you wouldn't believe." Lionel stroked his fingers through his hair. "On a more upbeat note, we are finally quit and rid of the Tower."

"He's never been in there." Dominic's eyes danced. "When Shaney was born I spent most of my life in that store for the first three or so months. Bought my laddie everything, of course. Its beautiful, really." Dominic gave him a big smile. "Ten minutes and he'll melt."

"Of course he will, but let's not tell him that." She leaned forward. "I'll waive my next visit's fee if he spends less than a thousand dollars in that store." She held her hand out to Dominic to seal the bet.

A big, huge grin and he shook her hand. "You should have made it ten thousand, but I'll take your bet. " But he smiled anyway and grinned at his lover, taking his hand. "Things have been well, Elaine. Very well. Almost scary, because you know theirs always a lull before everything blows to shite, but so far... everything's gone smooth as glass."

"Ah, my favorite pessimist. Of course the glass is half empty, isn't it, Dominic? Could it be that you've finally gotten over all the humps in your way, and that you're enjoying the relatively smooth road of marital bliss?"

Loud. Snort. "Maybe you've mistaken us with another of your usual couples, ma'am Elaine." He tipped his head at her, and winked, as he glanced up at his lover. "We are not blissful. We... are the anti marital bliss. But that's most definitely alright. Oh! The buildings are finally finished passing inspections, isn't that amazing?"

"Dominic... I beg to differ, but we are blissful." He sighed. "Don't mind him, Doctor. We're going on vacation this week and he's a bit testy."

"If you'll excuse the unprofessionalism, it's about fucking time." She blinked. "I'm sorry. It sounds like the two of you need a vacation, and I'm glad you're finally taking it." She turned to Dominic. "It sounds like you've got a lot on your plate, Dominic. Rather busy?"

"Busy. Busy busy busy. And I'm a bit wired from one too many mocha's on the way here. Starbucks. When they make one in Smallville I'll be thrilled." He shifted in his seat. "I suppose we are doing well. Very well, actually. And I'm going home in a week, so I can't wait for that." He beamed. Just… beamed. "And I'm excited, and worried, and our baby is coming soon, and just... I'm going to shut up."

Lionel leaned over and kissed his lover gently. "I love you. Excitement or not, I adore you."

Elaine smiled. "I was very pleased to hear that you found a substitute mother; by the way, Dominic mentioned a lawsuit against the agency and against the networks?"

Lionel nodded. "Our legal staff is taking care of that now; we're hoping to guarantee privacy for other people in our situation who are wanting to have children; the monetary compensation is secondary. We still haven't found Melissa yet, either, but when we do, we've set aside money for her, despite the fact she didn't fulfill her contract with us, she deserves something for the harassment she's gone through."

Dominic turned a soft smile at him, that was all big green eyes and dimples, and kissed him back softly before looking back to Elaine. "Ms. Toni Braxton. Lovely woman, indeed. My brother isn't happy, but bullocks to him, the eight foot tall imp from the east. We're also suing ABC for wrongful treatment against ourselves, our families and the business, which tickles me pink. Did I tell you we got an apology letter from Diane Sawyer? And a basket of fruit. For all I knew it was poisoned, so I tossed it, but the note... you've got to see this." He lifted his hips and went into his back pocket, searching for a moment before tugging out the little slip of white folded in quarters, and opened it, sliding it across the desk to Elaine.

Lionel snickered. "I can't believe that you're still carrying that thing around. I thought by now you'd have had it laminated and mounted over the doorway."

"Don't give him any ideas, Lionel. He does well enough on his own." Elaine smoothed the folds out of the letter, and started to read.

Dear Mr. Luthor and Mr. Senatori-Luthor:

I would like to formally tender my apologies to the both of you. The conduct exhibited by myself and my crew was inexcusable, as it intruded upon your privacy, your private lives, and exceeded the bounds of my investigatory powers.

Please accept this apology in the spirit that it was tendered.

Sincerely,

Diane Sawyer.

Dominic snickered. Wickedly. "its going in a frame on either Lionel's wall or mine. So I can look at it, and smile, and do a little victory dance every once in a while. It'll fit swimmingly, next to my masters degree and the window."

Elaine carefully folded the letter and passed it back to Dominic. "Well, I can see why you're proud of that."

Lionel snorted. "You should see the victory dance."

Dominic thunked Lionel in the chest without looking at him, and took the letter again, sliding it into his back pocket. "The agony it must have been to write those two lines. Could you imagine? She must have literally gagged. I can see her face and it gives me such a ripe pleasure knowing how she suffered to apologize. I, being myself, called her and thanked her for her apology and her fruit basket. I emphasized on 'apology' of course. And I might have thrown in a 'groveling' and 'your job isn't in jeopardy, is it? They have some lovely spots open over at 60 minutes.'."

"Well, it couldn't have happened to a nicer woman, and I can't think of a better therapy for you than having done that." She grinned. "So, tell me, my most cantankerous patients of all, if everything is going good... why are you here?"

"To visit you! And because we come, bearing gifts." Dominic turned a smile at Lionel and raised a brow. They'd bought the lovely ear bobs the week prior, in a lull in business, and he motioned for Lionel to get them out as he squirmed.

Lionel got up and reached into the pocket of his raincoat, and pulled out the small velvet box, and handed it to Dominic.

Elaine gave her patients a stern look. "You know that I'm not supposed to accept gifts from my clients," she scolded.

"We're not clients. We're friends, and you do know it." Dominic answered it back, smiling at her as he set the red velvet box in front of her. "Come now, open up."

"You're clients and friends," Elaine clarified, and she creaked the box open.

Opals had always been her favorite stones, and these were flawless, exquisitely cut opals set in finely wrought gold, and she couldn't help drawing her breath in. "These... these are beautiful, Dominic, but I can't accept these. They're far too expensive and exquisite!"

"Sure you can." Dominic had a knack for loving women when they opened something sparkly and their eyes got moist with the pleasure of it, and he squirmed in his seat again as he took Lionel's hand in his own. "From the both of us, because you... have made what Lionel and I have possible. We're eternally indebted to you, but at least we'll be indebted to a stylishly bobbled lady."

Lionel threaded his fingers back through Dominic's as he settled down, and smiled softly as she opened the box. "Of course you can take them, Elaine. You know they're not at all expensive--just a mere token to express our appreciation to you for all you've done for us. Rearranging your schedule, making room for both of us in your practice, accommodating our hours, everything you've done."

"Indeed." He smiled at her again, and reached forward to give her another kiss. "While you smile and get all teary eyed over them, Lionel and I have to go. We've a late show to catch, and shopping for our daughter to do. Enjoy them, darling, and thank you so much."

Elaine took the earrings out of the box, and removed her gold hoops so that she could slide the new ones in. "I can't say thank you enough, gentlemen."

Lionel caught his lover's wrist. "Wait, Dominic. The prescriptions?"

"Oh! That's right, indeed. Could you get us another refill, darling? Lionel's pills ran out about two days ago, beloved. Might we have another one please? At your discretion, of course."

Elaine finished sliding the back onto the earring post, and she fought valiantly not to grin. "Of course; I had it waiting at the desk in case you decided to pick it up; one moment and I'll write you both out a new one, so you don't have to drop by tomorrow." She picked up her pad, and scribbled it out for both of them. "Lionel, I'm only going to give you two refills on this, until I have a private session with you, and see how well you're doing." She slid the two prescrips across the desk. "Dominic, yours is for unlimited refills, but if I hear about Herbert appearing again, I'll have to have a talk with you."

Dominic... flushed eight shades of pink and two of red as he coughed, snagging the prescription and stuffing it into his back pocket as he fought not to look at his lover in mortification. "Uh. Herbert… will not... well, try not... to... uh." Another shift, and he turned, burying his face in his lovers neck in horror.

Lionel chuckled. "Don't worry, Doctor. I will make sure that Herbert stays safely tucked away during the trip."

"Blasphemer." Dominic muttered from Lionel's neck, where his hot skin felt even hotter against Lionel's cool neck, and he took a deep breath, still mostly pink, and rubbed his eyes. "Christ, you're both putting me in the ground before 40."

Lionel leaned over and dropped a kiss to his lover's neck. "I certainly hope not."

Elaine clicked off her tape recorder, and stowed it away in her desk. "When you get back from your vacation? I'm going to want to start scheduling you both for some one on one appointments, all right?"

"Alright, ma'am Elaine." he smiled at her from Lionel's kiss, choking off a giggle when Lionel's beard rubbed against a sensitive spot, and grinned at her again. "Are we on our road to recovery?"

"I'm not sure what you had to recover from, but yes, you are. You're on the very firm road to it." Smile at them both. "Get out of here, go on. I'll see you both when you get back."

"Alright. Wish us luck. We'll bring you a pretty trinket." Dominic smiled at her and wriggled into his coat and was he a little too overjoyed tonight? Possibly. But who wouldn't be anyhow, as he rose to his feet and grasped his lovers coat, for him to shrug into. He had his lover, he had his health, he was going home to Ireland in four days, his baby was on the way, he and Lionel hadn't argued since that fateful weekend....he felt great. Really... really great, and he beamed at his lover as he handed Lionel his gloves and grasped the umbrellas. "Good night Elaine!"

"Goodnight, Dominic! Goodnight, Lionel!" Elaine called it out as she sat at her desk, going back into the endless dive of transcribing the day's sessions.

Lionel put his gloves on without a fuss, shrugging into his jacket and opening the door to the hallway. "We'll call you if anything happens," he called back into the office, and got a cursory wave for his trouble. He chuckled softly as he held the door open for his lover, and flexed his fingers in his glove, settling them comfortably in the fine calfskin.

And Dominic wrapped his arms around his lover, neck and back, and drew him into a long, deep kiss as he walked backwards, pulling his lovely lover with him. Warm, deep kisses, gentle strokes and snorts and chuckles into it as they backed up right into the elevators, and Dominic didn't stop, just threading his fingers through all that gorgeous hair and bringing him closer.

Lionel barely got his umbrella raised enough to press the button for the lobby as he returned the enthusiastic and beautifully wet kisses from his lover, hands on Dominic's ass as tightly as he could hold, kneading and lifting up as they bumped into the back wall of the elevator, the door dinging shut as Lionel dropped the umbrella to get a firmer grip on his lover.

Dominic let out a deep, guttural sound from inside his chest as he raised a leg, wrapping it tightly around his lovers hip and kissing him, firmly, deeply, dragging him closer before he let go of his mouth all together and slid down his neck. He sucked, bit, making the hickeys he loved leaving there known underneath the collar of Lionel's shirt as he stroked a hand down into the flaps of a coat and over a warm, tense crotch that he stroked with the flat of his palm.

Lionel let his hands slide down, lifting his lover so that Dominic's crotch was situated against his, legs tight around his waist as he worked his hands inside Dominic's belt, inside his underwear, and rubbed at the bare skin he could barely feel there. "Dom--Dominic, the el--the elevator--security downstairs--stopping soon--have to walk," he tried pointing out, sentences broken.

"Don't… give...fuck!" Came on a hard, loud cry as he humped forward into the warm hand sliding against his very very interested cock. He gave another cry, squeezing his legs tightly around Lionel's, sure his lover wouldn't let him fall as he rubbed his cock through his pants to Lionel's, rubbing and stroking and thrusting as he let go of him with one leg and slammed the bottom of his shoe against the numbers. Good. All lit up.

Lionel grunted as Dominic thrust against him and the elevator ground to a halt as it tried to decide what to do. Go up, go down, and it lurched, jerking once. Lionel didn't notice, he just tightened his grip on his lover, squeezing Dominic's ass tightly in his palms, pushing and thrusting back against him.

Ohhh yes. They were about to christen this poor elevator. Yep. Dominic pushed against the wall, scooting his pants down, down enough, enough where he could feel Lionel, and quickly unzipped and yanked him out of his pants. "Stretch me." He grit, hard, loudly as he thrust downwards, curve of his ass to hard cock.

Lionel pressed his lover forward, letting the wall take the brunt of his lover's waist as he pushed two fingers into Dominic's mouth. Once they were wet, Lionel slid them down to his lover's opening, finding it by touch and habit more than anything else, and pushed them both in carefully, stretching roughly and pumping carefully.

Dominic quickly sucked on his fingers, gasping and groaning, hard, when Lionel slid them out and then slid them in in a totally different place. Good, good, and his back arched as he gasped in hot pleasure, rolling his hips as he half leaned and half sat on the hand railing, pressing close against it by his lovers weight, and with his legs around Lionel's waist. He moaned, hard, squeezing him tightly and it wasn't enough, not nearly, but rough sex was good. His hand wrapped tightly around Lionel's cock and pumped, stroking and squeezing hard until beads of pre come rolled down the sides of his lovers cock and UH! "Lionel, lover please, please, pl-please, uhn, please God please!"

Lionel felt his lover slicking him, spreading the slippery pre-come on his cock, and he hissed softly, shifting his hips and Dominic's weight until his cock pressed against his lover's opening, and he thrust up. Hard, fast, and firm, he sheathed his entire length into his lover's body, hands biting into Dominic's hips and pulling him down into the stroke.

"Naaahhhuuuuu!!!" Dominic cried, loudly, back arching up as he grasped onto Lionel with a grip of iron, and thrust against him. Hard, quick quickie in an elevator, and he was terrified of elevators but not any more. Noooonono. Wouldn't give this up, wouldn't give this thrusting up, for the world. He stroked back against Lionel once he'd gotten the rhythm, his lover feeling like a steel rod slamming into him, only the steel rod was connecting to every pleasure center in his brain as his entire body broke out with shivers. He grasped his lover, hard, kissing him violently and deep as one hand stroked through the buttons of his dress shirt and found a nipple, hidden under a t-shirt, and stroked the ripply fabric against the erect nipple quickly, nails stroking over it fast and quick.

Lionel arched his head back as Dominic's nails dragged over his nipple ring, and his thrusts got harder and faster, pushing deeper into his lover. His fingers bit deeply into Dominic's hips, pulling him down, and his head fell forward again from it's arch, biting sharply at a tempting earlobe. He pushed his lover back against the wall again, shoving in as hard as he could, giving the wall of the elevator more of his lover's weight as he eased one hand down to start savagely jerking his cock.

"Uhh... UH! JESUS!" He screamed it. Shame would come later, but for now he was being fucked, violently and deeply so, and it felt amazingly completely outrageously GOOD. He let out a second sharp, hard, LOUD cry as his lovers fingers wrapped around his cock and he uh'ed, loudly, fucking against his hand as he was thrust into from behind. Rhythmic slaps of flesh against flesh and orgasm loomed, so quick almost here, and he whimpered, loudly, hard, deeply, shivering in ecstacy as his lover stroked him. "Cl… cl... clo... CLOSE!"

Lionel's teeth grit as he pushed his own orgasm back, because he'd be damned to come before his lover. The tight heat around him made it nearly impossible, but he did it, pushing down as he fucked Dominic as hard as he could, pounding his ass with hard strokes that withdrew entirely before pushing back in. His fist jacked Dominic's cock roughly, stroking, twisting, rubbing the head with a calloused thumb as he dropped his head forward to bite down Dominic's throat.

When his lovers mouth closed over his pulse point, Dominic came. He exploded between them, giving a deep, shattering cry of ecstasy as his entire body locked into place, arching up and shoving into the tight fist around him as he wailed. Ribbon after ribbon of milky white come exploded in Lionel's hand, and Dominic dragged his palm down from his anchor on his lover to squeeze it with his lover, moaning deeply as he shivered and shuddered all over and thrust down, squeezing hard on Lionel as his own orgasm powered through his body.

Lionel bit again, sucking on the throbbing under his tongue as he came, muffling his outcry in Dominic's throat. His cock jerked hard, spilling in hot, ragged spurts as his lover clenched around him, and he rocked Dominic on his cock, using the twitching in his lover's body to milk his orgasm out.

Oh, Jesus. A second moan exploded from the first as his lover came, deep in his body, and Dominic shuddered all over, his legs latching tighter around his lovers waist as he whimpered. He was shivering, sweat had rolled down his temples, and he muttered in pleasure as he held his lover close, from the tight latch to the gentling shiver and hug.

Lionel's arms gripped his lover's arms tightly, hugging him close and leaning against him, head resting on his lover's shoulder as he panted softly. He licked, every now and then, at Dominic's throat, teeth raking over the skin as he caught his breath.

"L-Li'nel." Dominic croaked it, quietly, into his lovers ear, as he shivered and trembled against him, lips streaking over his neck.

"Yes, little cricket?" Lionel's voice was just as breathy as he panted.

"We're in... an el'vator." He groaned, his body giving a hard, involuntary shiver as his cock twitched, the hot come inside of him almost molten against his insides. God, it felt so good.

"That is most likely stuck, yes." Lionel's smile spread against his lover's skin. "Notice we're not moving."

Funny enough, Dominic was in no way worried about it, just purring against his lovers skin and licking, giving it a soft, warm kiss, his hands sliding through damp hair, down a warm back, over a tensed and strong ass, over hips, and another long, soft purrr.

Lionel slowly eased out of his lover, letting Dominic's legs slide down to the floor, then held his lover steady until he was back on his own feet again. "I don't know about you, but I don't fancy spending the night stuck in here," he commented softly, studying the panel.

Mmmmm. Dominic steadied himself, even if his knees felt like jelly, and instead slowly tucked his lover in, giving the head of his cock a soft kiss before tucking him away. He zipped him up, fixed him up, then did the same to himself. His ass felt hollowed out, empty, something only Lionel could fix. And he would. Eventually again, tonight, if Dominic told him he wanted. Hee! God he loved his lover. He wrapped his arms around his waist, kissing the back of his shoulder, and pushed the floor button. "If we die, it was a really nice way to go, angel."

Nothing happened, for a moment, and then Lionel saw that the Emergency Stop button had been hit, at some point. He reached down and pulled it back out, and to his relief, the elevator started going again, dinging as it went past floors.

Dominic grinned, broadly into warm wool, and bent down with a soft murmur of pleasure at what bending down after a rough fuck felt like, and he hissed in pleasure as he straightened again, umbrella's in tow. "Been… long time since we...we've done that. I hope it won't be the last time, Lionel." He purred, softly, as he took his lovers hand.

"Have a quickie in the elevator?" Lionel raised an eyebrow. "That'll depend entirely on if there are others in the elevator with us." He pulled Dominic in front of him, winding his arms around his lover's waist and scratching his cheek with his beard. "I am not a public exhibitionist, I have to tell you."

"Liar." Came the quiet snicker from in front. Dominic wound his arms back around his lovers and snuggled back, hugging him gently close and smiling in pleasure as he tipped his head to the side for a snuggle. "Poor elevator. We've christened it, I'm afraid. We shall never be able to go to Elaine's office without wanting to make out ever again. The poor woman."

"I'm sure she'll live through it." He gladly indulged the snuggle, and sighed when the elevator dinged its arrival to the lobby, and the doors slid open.

Thankfully, the security guard didn't say anything about them being stuck in the elevator, possibly because Lionel was glaring evilly at him, but they were escorted through the desk and were left to their own in front of the door.

Dominic reached back for his lovers hand once they'd gone through the scanners and he bid the security guard a good night with a nod of his head, as he snagged Lionel's hand and tugged him close again. It was absolutely pouring and he just… sighed, softly, deeply, and opened the umbrella in his hand. "Keep close, husband. Damn rain."

"Or, if you were really concerned, you could go out in the rain and get in the car, and then come pick me up under the awnings." Lionel's face was innocently devoid of the teasing smirk that was heavy in his voice.

He blinked. "I hadn't thought of that. Stay right where you are." He took the other umbrella, in case his lover got brave, glaring at him and snagging his keys out of his pocket as he pushed out into the rain. It was absolutely pouring, like the earth had opened up, and his pant cuffs were soaked in moments as he quickly opened the car door, closed the umbrella, and jumped in. He tucked the umbrella onto the back floor where he could easily get it, and a moment later the tail lights came on. He pulled out of the parking quickly and drove around the building, coming around to the front and stopping as close to the awnings as he could so the passenger door faced his lover, and he opened it a crack as he waved for him to come get in.

Lionel rolled his eyes as the second umbrella was confiscated from him, and he sighed. "I was only teasing!" he yelled out after his lover's fleeting form, and sighed again, heavily put-upon as he darted into the rain, getting only slightly damp as he climbed into the car and closed the door after himself, glowering at his lover. "It was a joke, Dominic. You're not my chauffeur, and you don't have to take everything I say so seriously!"

He blinked, and blew a strand of wet blond hair from his forehead, his face breaking out into a winning smile. "You're such an ass. Put your seat belt on, husband."

"I'm not an ass." But Lionel obediently buckled himself into the seat belt, and sighed.

He realized he was doing that a lot lately, and he had to laugh at himself.

Dominic grinned back at him as he rubbed his hands through his blond hair to get the water out, the humid air spiking it more than it always was. "You're with sniffles. I was being the good little husband, retard. Now put the radio on to something catchy, and put the heat up a spell."

"If you turn the heat up any more, I'll suffocate." He flipped the radio on, and cringed when loud, obnoxious music poured out of it, and hastily changed it to the classical station. "Dear Jesus. Ever since you and Lex became such close friends, your taste in music has become utterly deplorable!"

Dominic burst out laughing. He laughed until his sides ached, there at the exit of the building, turning to look at his lover with dancing eyes as he finally pulled out into the brisk traffic, even at this hour. "Deplorable? You say that like it always wasn't, angel."

"Yes, but some of it I could tolerate, if not tune out. But this," he said, waving his hand at the radio, "Sounds like a cat being tortured with red-hot pokers, and is quite impossible to ignore!!"

"Lionel, I love you. I just adore you, lovely one." he smiled over at him, and squeezed his thigh gently before reaching for his hand, cruising easily through the rain. His wipers were moving, his beams cut through the night rain, and before he blinked they were on their way through downtown Metropolis once more, to the baby store.

A long, deep, suffering sigh as Lionel sat back in the seat. "I love you, my little cricket. But I will not listen to that music. Suffice it to say, all radios at home are going to be left on the classical stations, please." He squeezed his hand. "I'm glad to see you and Lex getting along better."

"Lex and I, I do believe, are becoming quite close. I like it, I'm not ashamed to say. He's a fun person to be around, and quite the little comedian." he turned a grin at his lover. "He was speaking of coming out next month before Felicia's wedding and going to see Rent at the Majestic."

"He says that as though half the world doesn't already know," he said grouchily. "Thanks to that bitch."

Dominic turned...blinked... and cracked up all. Over. Again. "I meant coming out to Metropolis darling, not the coming out of the closet. Where cultural lines collide!"

Lionel just raised an eyebrow at his husband.

He just kept right on laughing, and leaned over to give him a quick, deep kiss at a red light, squeezing his hand tightly and dragging it close to his heart. "I'm a bit wired. I love you, angel. But as I was saying, coming out to Metropolis to see Rent, and perhaps go to dinner, the four of us."

"I think that would be a lovely idea, Dominic. I think that we could all use the time out." A quiet pause. "Speaking of family dinners... have you spoken to Graham lately?"

Ohh. He sighed, softly. There went his good mood. He just shook his head softly, starting the car again as he kept Lionel's hand close in his lap, biting his lip slightly. "He won't talk to me. I don't know if I want to talk to him, either. He's going to hold it against me... if something, anything, happens to Toni, I'm quite positive he'll kill me."

"I won't let him hurt you," Lionel said softly. "And don't blame yourself. It's not your fault that he's being an insensitive, stubborn ass. He should be happy for you, because you're getting to have one of the greatest treasures in the world. And if he can't be happy for you, then that's his problem, not yours."

"But it becomes my problem, Lionel. My family means a lot to me, and it hurts me, and it hurts him, and it hurts everyone else that we're fighting this way. Megan called from Tokyo just this morning asking if anything new had happened with he and I. I don't know if we'll ever bridge the gap, Lionel."

"I'm sure you will. If not now, then after the baby's born. He's your brother, I know, and you love him. He loves you, if he could pull his head out of his ass long enough to see it." He stroked Dominic's cheek softly. "You know you will."

"Maybe I'm being a selfish ass about it, but I want that baby so much. I want her so much I can almost feel her in my hands, alive and in my arms, sometimes. I wish so much for her, and that… he can't see it, doesn't want to let himself understand what I'm going through, hurts me. He's my older brother, Lionel, and there's never been a time when we've fought like this. Usually he kicked my ass, I kicked a bit of his, and it was over and we were friends again. Now..." he shook his head softly, and he was sad all over again as he cruised through the street.

"No, you're not being selfish, Dominic. But the difference is... this time, someone he loves is in the middle. It's not just you versus him. Toni's involved, and that changes the equation."

"I know." He shook his head. "He's such an ass about her. She loves him, so fucking obvious, and he's still... being Graham. Its infuriating."

"Things will get better." In an attempt to lighten the mood, he changed topics again. "Have we heard any other plans about the wedding? And, did you send Felicia those personnel forms? I'd like her to start work on Monday, while we're gone, so I know that Carolyn will be teaching her what she needs to know without the two of us underfoot."

"No other plans... she and Toni have been at it with the planning for two weeks straight. I know they've got the flowers picked out, the church and the minister, but that's just about it." he shifted slightly in his chair and kissed Lionel's fingers gently. "They're going to either have it at Coast City or Grandville, because that's where most of their family resides." he gave a soft yawn. "Lionel, when we finish here, might we go to one of our apartments? I'm tired, lovely."

"Of course we can; we'll go to yours, as mine's currently being moved from the tower to a private suite across the street, in our new outsource facility." He squeezed his lover's fingers carefully. "We can go now, if you like, and skip the shopping?" He refused to let the hope enter his tone.

"Ah, ah, ah." A smile graced his face now, as he glanced over at his lover. "No. We can at least look at the baby sets, love. We can shop this weekend… I'm just so tired." And sad, but he didn't let on about that. "And the thought of you and bed are sounding much more intriguing with every passing moment."

Ah, well. It had been worth a shot, and he smiled back. "All right, but if we're going to do this, we're going to do it all tonight, and have it shipped to the estate."

"Alright." Another little smile, as he pulled into a shopping center and cruised down to a stop sign before entering the parking lot. "I love you, Lionel."

"I love you, my little cricket." He pulled out his wallet briefly, and thumbed through the stack of $100 bills in it. He counted idly, and came up with fifty. "We've got fifty thousand dollars to spend tonight, Dominic. Do you think that'll cover what we need?"

He blinked… turned, stared as he waited for a car to pass. It was always a surprise to hear what his lover carried with him, and he shook his head idly. "A few months ago, Clark nearly had a cow when he saw Lex carrying about bills larger than he'd ever seen. I echo what he said then... how the bloody blazes do you not get mugged more?" He pulled forward to the front of the building, parking without preamble in the spot marked for loading and unloading, and since they, and two other cars, were the only in the parking lot, he didn't care. He grabbed the umbrella again and smiled at him, unbuckling and taking everything off before he hopped out into the rain again. He threw open the umbrella and held it up over his head where it was pouring, quickly slipping around the car for his lover.

"Because I'm Lionel Luthor. There's not a petty criminal in the world who has the balls to think about mugging me." He tucked his wallet back into his suit pocket, and patted it gently. He sighed as Dominic came around the car for him, and he opened the door, getting out and following him to the front door. The store manager was waiting for them by the front, and he unlocked the sliding doors, letting them into the store and then locking the door behind them. "Thank you for letting us come in so late," Lionel said without preamble. He took off his coat, tucked his wallet into his slacks, and laid the coat over the cash register so he could retrieve it when they left.

"Y… yes, yes of course." Martin Crund smiled at them, shifting slightly as he motioned for the three workers who had stayed late with him. they were armed with carts, five of them in total, and he smiled at the two of them. "Its a pleasure doing business with you. We have Ashley, Cassie, and Arthur. They'll follow you with the carts, just add to them as you see fit. Would you both like to see the infant rooms we have set up before doing anything else?"

Dominic shrugged out of his own coat, setting it, and scarf, with Lionel's as he tugged his sleeves up comfortably and took his husbands hand again. "That would be lovely, indeed."

"Aaah, yes, please." Lionel shot a look over to his lover. "Dominic and I will likely be taking some time to make our decisions; I hope that's all right with you?"

"As much time as you need, sir! I'll just direct you over to the stairs. Here..." He handed him a small, slender little hand set. "When you need, just call, sir. Please, take your time."

Dominic smiled at his husband, nodding at him, then at the man, as he took a glance out at the store. Cheerfully built, with colors and lights, and there must have been hundreds of little mazes filled with shelves of toys, clothes, and other things that made Dominic's heart patter. "Oh, wow."

"Thank you." Lionel took the handset and slipped it into his pocket, and tugged Dominic over to the first set of aisles, which happened to be baby clothes. He paused at the top of the aisle, his eye caught by the pink dresses with lace and frills, sitting on display at the top, and he dropped his lover's hand, running his fingers over the soft, satiny fabric.

Dominic spared a glance towards his lover and grinned, broadly, as the hundreds of little outfits littered across the store. "I told you, love. But noooo. Don't believe Dominic, why don't you." He lifted a teeny, tiny little lacy pink jumper, with diaper cover and frills, and grinned as he gazed at it. "If this doesn't make us poufs, nothing will."

"We're not poufs. We're just buying what we need for our daughter." The dress went directly into the cart, as did the one next to it, which had a pair of white, frilly socks attached, and was a different shade of pink with slightly fewer ruffles.

Dominic just chuckled, rolled his eyes, and slid away from his lover towards the more practical outfits. Because he had an eye for such things he began to pick out little jumpers and dresses, made of jean, corduroy and cotton, that would breath. Lionel obviously hadn't raised a child in some time, and he wasn't accustomed to boogers, puke, baby food and spittle. No matter, because Dominic, with his army of nieces and nephews, was, and he picked out clothes that could be hand washed and tossed into the washing machine after. He also got a few bibs, of colorful cartoons and Winnie the Pooh, until his arm was full and he had to maneuver back to where his lover was picking out lacy things still.

Lionel cocked an eyebrow at the denim. "You are not going to dress my little princess like a tomboy," he said, discarding some dresses for being too ugly or not pretty enough, and some for being too constricting. His favorite so far was a pink sundress that went over a white t-shirt, emblazoned with teddy bears and the like, and two versions of it hung on the side of the cart.

Dominic blinked back at him, and took back the discarded dresses, giving him a look. "Lionel, love, satin and lace are wonderful, but you need to be practical, as well."

"I am being practical," he retorted. "My daughter is not going to wear boy's clothing."

"It's not boys clothing. They're lovely, Lionel." Another glare.

"They're boy's clothing. They're tomboyish, they're blocky, and I won't have Aurora wearing them. She is going to be a beautiful, proper young woman, and she's going to be dressed as such!"

It hurt. He didn't say anything about it, but it cut down to the quick. "So what are you saying? Anything I buy for her, you won't let her wear? She's fifty percent mine too, you know. I like these. She'll still be a proper young lady, Lionel, just a comfortable one."

Lionel glared. He was getting rather upset that Dominic was not... he sighed, and cut the thought off in mid-rant. You are not going to be upset because Dominic is not agreeing with you, Lionel, he reminded himself calmly. He looked up. "I'm going to look at the shoes and the socks on the next aisle over; pick out what you like."

Dominic glared right back and dumped the stuff he wanted into the cart, daring him to argue with it as he followed him, pushing the cart after him.

Lionel didn't say a word about the things Dominic dumped in the cart. Instead, he walked purposefully over to the next aisle, looking at the socks, thick and thin, plain and frilly, in nearly every color, and at the huge array of shoes beside them. Tennies and sandals, flip flops and spats, dress shoes and slippers, and they were all in little clear plastic boxes, smaller than a prom corsage.

Alright. Dominic's anger melted as he stood beside his lover and looked at fifteen thousand teeny tiny little shoes. Heeee. He reached out and picked out a little tiny tiny pair of what looked almost like ballet slippers, and maybe he was gonna have to think the ballet thing over because they were just so cute. He grinned, stroking the plastic box where the tiny little pieces of satin looped through the shoes, and showed the tiny pink things to Lionel.

Lionel nodded softly, and put them delicately in the cart, and then cringed slightly as he reached out and picked up a pair of white tennis shoes, with little pink rosettes on them where the Velcro fastened over the lacings, and showed those to his lover.

Dominic's eyes opened wide as he grinned in joy, taking them and chuckling softly as he set them in the cart, too. "Now those are cute." He turned, because they had the luck of shoes and bibs being on the same aisle, and he looked across the mountain of bibs and burping towels, and selected another few of them. It didn't matter if they were all that pretty or not... they wouldn't last long. He took a few yellow and white burping rags, so they could be bleached, as his lover kept looking at shoes and socks.

Lionel added several other pairs of shoes to the cart--soft soled tennis shoes, two pairs of black dress spats that would match the dresses, and then chose several packs of white socks, some with lace and some without, and added those to the cart, too. At the end of the aisle, Lionel stopped, and picked up several bibs of his own, all of them pink and lacy, and one with a little ballerina on it.

Poor, poor Lionel. "Darling, how angry will you be when none of these things last?"

Lionel shrugged. "Children are notoriously hard on their things. I'll be pleased if they last more than week each."

A grin, a shake of his head, and a lean over the cart to kiss him. Their cart was already half full with outfits, and he pointed towards the underwear aisle, right across. "Under things."

"Now those, I will trust you to buy without me," Lionel said, eyebrow raised. "I am going to look at blankets and such, which is one aisle over."

"Alright, love." He smiled at him, rolled his eyes around, and pointed. "By the blankets are the pampers. Get pampers. Don't get Luvs, or Huggies... Pampers. Alright? in every size, several of each. Get about five newborn though, to start us out on. And get the kind with the elastic sided love, and the Velcro, not the tape."

Lionel's eyes all but boggled out of his head. "Pampers, in every size, elastic sides... and Velcro?"

"I use the term Velcro quite loosely, darling. By Velcro I mean they're catches, not tape. The tape irritates babies' skin." He grinned at him. "I had Lindy live with me for about a year and a half after Ellie was born, darling. I've done the baby thing. Believe me. Pampers. Elastic, stretchy sides, and Velcro. You'll see them."

"I can change Shane's diapers with no problem. However, I do not buy them, because I do not know what to look for. I will choose blankets, and little hats to match the dresses. You, my little cricket, are on diaper patrol."

"Got it. Underwear and pampers. Call one of those girls over here, will you?" He turned then, quickly and methodically selecting five packages in different sizes of under things with little snaps for Aurora, several diaper covers in white so that they could again, bleach, and was done in a moment before he moved on to the rows and rows of pampers. "Here, Lionel." He said it from their ten foot separation, plucking a blue package off the shelf. "Pampers. Elastic band sides with leak guard. And Velcro catches."

Lionel picked up the handset that he was given by the manager and activated it. "Mr. Crund? Could you please send one of your girls over with another cart, please? We're on... Aisle four, it looks like, and we could use a bit of cart assistance."

He looked over at his lover them. "Wonderful. Show them to me again in a few months so I know what to tell Enrique to go out and purchase for us."

Snort. "Bull. You'll be buying them, just like me." he put two of the packages length wise across the cart, selecting them in different sizes, and a few in newborn, stacking them and strolling away towards his lover to wait for the girl. "We don't have to get everything tonight, love."

"Yes, we do. I don't... I won't be unprepared for her, Dominic. There won't ever be a time when I don't have what she needs from me."

"It'll be quite the pity if she's born a he." Dominic said mildly, smiling over at him before staring across the field of blankets. "You have to take care, Lionel. I'm not an expert by any type of long shot, but some blankets make some babies quite allergic."

"She isn't going to be born a he," Lionel said firmly. "She is going to be born a she, because Lex has the diagnostics to prove it, and I'll wager that an amniocentesis will bear him out correctly."

"Mmm." Dominic muttered, as he gently reached out to finger a soft baby blue blanket, his roughened male fingers scratching audibly, but softly, over the lovely satin edges. "This one is really pretty, don't you think?"

"It is, but it's the wrong color. It should be pink." Lionel reached over and moved Dominic's hand one stack over, to the identical blanket, but only in pink satin. "This."

"Not so much pink, love." he said it, quietly. "Too much pink will give her a complex. Remember what I told you once, about me own mum? She raised me with both pink and blue, and I think it gave me a strong stance of who I was. Gender roles are bad."

"I remember. But I don't..." Lionel trailed off. "I don't ever want her to forget that she is my little girl."

"I know." Another long, hefty sigh, and he just shook his head. "I'm sorry, love. The toll of the days taken its beating. Take the pink. Its a lovely shade, as well, and will go well with her jammies."

"We don't have to decide, you know," Lionel pointed out. He reached over, and he picked up the blue blanket, and the pink, and put them both in the cart.

A snort. "How could I forget." He leaned up and gave his husband a warm, soft kiss. "Get something with bears on it. I'm going to go look at the little hats."

"Of course." He returned the soft kiss, and hugged Dominic tightly. "Don't worry about the day, love. Pick out what you want; the entire store if that's what pleases you. All that matters is, you're happy with what we buy for our daughter." Another little kiss. "I haven't forgotten she's ours."

"Sucker." Dominic said, softly, from the circle of his lovers arms, and kissed him back, gently, tenderly, wrapping him close warmly. "I will tell you... I want to look at the bedroom sets. And then? I want to go home. I want you in my bed, Luthor. We can order some food and sleep... and, if you're a good boy... my ass wouldn't say no to you."

"If I'm a good boy?" Soft snicker, as he nuzzled his lover's jaw. "And what... if I'm a bad, rude man?"

His smile turned wicked around the edges, nuzzled in close to Lionel's face with his eyes closed. "Then maybe you'll have to earn it. My ass doesn't come cheaply, you know."

Lionel ran his hands down to the ass in question, squeezing it firmly. "Mmm. No, it doesn't. It doesn't come cheaply at all. but... I think I could go about earning it." He pulled Dominic close to his chest, and stroked his back quietly, soothingly. "Come on. Lead me to the bedroom sets, and we'll pay for these other things and begone."

"I'm sorry for being rude earlier." he mumbled, against his lovers throat, wrapping his arms warmly around his lovers waist. "I got into a temper. I think my sugar high was dying down. Cause I'm crashing now, you know." He rubbed his lips against the base of his husbands neck. "I love you, Lionel. Come now, leave these baskets to the gawking teenagers, and we'll go look at cribs."

"You weren't rude earlier." Lionel pulled his lover into step beside him, as he motioned one of the hovering girls, Cassie, her name was, to push their buggies over to the cash register. "And we don't need a crib; we've got the lovely antique one, although that one will be going in our bedroom, and not the nursery."

"I meant, the bedroom sets." he smiled at the girl under his lovers arm, then walked with him towards the staircase leading to the layout of all the tiny bedrooms. "I think she should use the one crib. Unless you feel like buying a bassinette, love. I think just having one crib will be more than sufficient, and when she's old enough, we can move her into her room."

"Yes, I think so too. Although, we will need something for our office, that she can sleep in while she's there with us." Lionel rubbed Dominic's shoulder gently as they started up the stairs.

"Perhaps a play pen? That way it will wear, and she can have her toys and things in their with her." Dominic answered, rubbing his lovers waist gently as they stepped up onto the landing. He gave a soft, little lusty sigh, then. For as far as the eye could see where little bedroom sets. Set up much like a furniture store, the rooms were built and decorated, and were just... absolutely lovely. They were separated on two sides of the floor, girls on one, boys on the other, and neutral in front, and Dominic grinned up at his lover to get his reaction. "I told you it was pretty."

Lionel just sighed as he looked at all of the little rooms. It hadn't been at all like this when Lillian had shopped for Lex or Julian; a private decorator had done most of the choosing and the decorating. He walked up to the first display, and ran a hand over the cradle railing. "They're... beautiful."

"I know." Dominic grinned and pointed out at the enormous amount of displays. "They're mapped out. Like... over there are all the floral prints. Over here are people and places, over there are patterns and shapes. There are also the typical princess type things, and there's one in particular I'm sure you'll find exceptionally fetching. But for now, we can look, and you can tell me which ones you like, because quite unfortunately, I like them all."

He slipped his fingers through the railings of the cribs. "I'd like... I'd like to have the solid panels, here on the sides, like Julian had. Lex had the open rails, but... the solid one was sturdier, because when Julian cried... the entire little bed didn't shake."

Dominic's eyes widened, he was sure his pupils all but dilated, and he turned his gaze on his lover. "Lionel, solid panels are the absolute last thing we want. If there were no cribs left on earth and all there was to buy was solid panels, we'd have her sleep in our bed. At least squishing her would be safer."

Lionel turned narrowed eyes on his lover. "What... what are you talking about?"

"Baby, haven't you taken any first aid classes? Things like... crib bumpers, and solid panels, and stuffed animals... even mattresses too thick and fluffy cause sudden infant death syndrome, love. An infant can't move his head enough to turn until he's almost six months...when you lay them down, that's how they stay. If they can't get enough air, they suffocate, baby."

Lionel swallowed hard, a huge lump building in his throat. "Suff--suffocate?" he forced out.

Dominic winced, visibly, and let go of his lover enough to look up at him. "Suffocate, baby. That's why they stopped making them, almost fifty years ago."

Lionel turned his back on the little bedroom suites for a long moment, gripping the railing of the staircase as he clenched his eyes shut.

Julian dead. All because of a stupid slab of wood. His biceps twitched with the strain of holding his weight up as he clenched the railing so tightly, and he could barely breathe and barely swallow around the rock in his chest.

Oh, fuck. "Lionel... Lionel, I'm… I'm so sorry. I didn't mean... to bring it up. I didn't know. I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry. I'm so... so sorry." He winced, hard, and didn't dare touch him when his lover was trying this hard to stay together. "I'm so sorry."

"Not your fault," Lionel barely choked out. Wasn't anyone's fault but his own, for insisting on the sturdy, paneled crib they'd found because Lex's had been too flimsy.

Killed his own son.

Lionel was barely able to keep his feet at that thought.

And because Dominic was Dominic, and Lionel his husband, he spoke up. "It wasn't your fault, you know. No one even knew what SIDS were until the late nineties, Lionel. No one knows what it does, or what it causes, or why. Its just a guess by the experts, so don't take what I say to heart, love." He dared to gently stroke his lovers arm. "Don't take it as your fault. It wasn't. People have been using paneled cribs for hundreds of years."

Lionel wanted to jerk violently away, but he barely got it toned down into a flinch. "It is my fault. I insisted on the paneled crib because I thought Lex's railed one was too flimsy. I wanted my son to have the best... and he died for it."

Fuck fuck FUCK! "Lionel, no. Its not... its not, and was not, your fault. He died because he wasn't meant to be with you, don't you see that? Lionel, it wasn't your fault."

"Yes. It was." Lionel shook off his lover's hand again, and straightened, clearing his throat and pulling his suit jacket around him, as his long jacket was downstairs at the register. "Let's continue looking."

"Not bloody likely, not with you upset this way." He took his hand back, wounded and ill to his belly, nauseated at the look Lionel had with panic and horror. He hadn't seen his lover this upset, in quite some time. "It can wait for another day. Let's go home."

He shook his head. "No. We're here. Now, we know what not to buy for Aurora."

"Lionel. Don't play me like I'm stupid. I know how hard you're hurt, and buying things for Aurora now is frivolous and stupid. Don't tell me I'm not right, because I know I am. lets go home, alright?" He didn't reach out again, but he tipped his head, softly.

Lionel turned quickly to glare at his lover. "Don't say that. Buying things for my child is never frivolous nor stupid. She is one of the most important things in my life, and I will be prepared for her when she comes. Do not demean her by calling preparing for her arrival stupid or frivolous, do you understand me, Dominic?"

"She's my child too." Dominic answered, softly. "I don't want... bad memories for you, is all I meant. Making it stupid to do it now. I'm sorry I offended you."

"I understand that. My memories are my own to deal with, and I shall, in a less public venue than this." A quiet cleared throat.

"Then let's go. If we get up early, we can come out here tomorrow morning and get her things." Dominic answered, quietly, and motioned him for the stairs.

Lionel handed Dominic his wallet without a word. "Pay for what we already picked out."

He took it, silently. "I'm sorry, Lionel."

"It's not your fault."

It was, but Dominic didn't say anything else, as he stepped around him. "Here... take my keys, warm up the car? You can drive us home, if you feel like it."

Lionel took the keys without a word. "I don't feel like it," he said softly. "I think I'd wreck in the state of mind I'm in. But I'll warm it up for you."

Dominic didn't say anything else to him, just walking down the steps and gulping down the hard sob that bubbled in his throat. Dominic had a way of ruining good things, and he swallowed, hard, stepping around a display of pacifiers... picking up two, and then forcing a smile to the cashiers, who had already rung up the things in the carts. "Hello. Thank you, all of you, for putting up with Lionel and I tonight."

Martin shook his head like bees were caught in his hair. "Oh no, sir! The pleasure is ours!"

Lionel stayed at the top of the steps for a long moment, before moving to the boys' side of the display floor. He paused in front of one done in deep greens and blues, and ran his hand over the crib. "I'm sorry, Julian. I'm sorry, that I was an ignorant fool. I'm sorry that I didn't know what I was doing. I'm sorry... I'm sorry that I killed you." His hand tightened on the railing. "And I would do anything, to have it to do over again. I wouldn't... I wouldn't have done it. I wouldn't have gotten you the solid crib."

Dominic finished paying for everything, wrote down the address for the mansion, and when he was finished his lover still hadn't come down. He glanced towards the steps, nodding towards the man, and took a step in the direction of the stairs. "Lionel?"

Lionel didn't turn, at first, but then the call penetrated his thoughts, and he let go of the crib, and reappeared a few moments later at the top of the stairs. "I'm here, Dominic."

"Everything's paid for, darling, and set to be shipped to Smallville first thing in the morning." He lifted his lovers rain coat, after sliding into his own. "Come on now, husband. Lets get home."

Lionel slowly proceeded down the steps, and he didn't look back up towards the bedrooms. "I think I'll let you pick out the bedroom suite," he said, once he'd reached the foot of the stairs. He wrapped the long raincoat around himself, passing the keys over as he pulled out his gloves and slid them over his hands.

"Alright." Dominic said, quietly, as he took the keys, offered the workers another goodnight, and stepped out, umbrella's in tow. A joyous occasion turned sour, turned sad, and the knot in Dominic's stomach only squeezed and tightened, rubbing against the bottom of his throat like a demon. "Sleepy, love?"

"No," was Lionel's only reply. "Not at all."

"We could order some food, if you like. Do you feel like eating?" He was pestering. He knew it. But he couldn't help it, as he looked out at the soft mists coming down, and figured they didn't warrant an umbrella as he walked out into the night, keys in hand.

"No. I'm not hungry either."

"Alright, then. Come now, get on in the car, the doors open." Dominic answered, as he slid into the drivers side door and slid the key into the ignition, closing the door behind him as he revved the car.

Lionel climbed silently into the passenger seat beside his lover, tucking his wallet away in his jacket pocket before pulling the seat belt over himself and clicking it securely in the fastener. That done, he crossed his arms over his chest, and sighed.

Dominic didn't look at him for a moment, just sliding his own seat belt on and turning the air on so it circulated, wriggling in his seat once to get comfortable before he pulled the car out of park and pulled out from the store. He drove, in a moment of silence, until he stopped at the stop sign leading out of the shopping center. "I'm sorry, for... dredging up, bad memories."

"You didn't, Dominic." Silence for a moment. "It's not your fault; you didn't do anything but tell me something that I needed to know."

"I just... thought you knew. I'm sorry." He swallowed again, and looked over at him. "I shouldn't have been so crude about it."

"No... I didn't know. The doctors were never sure." His hands clenched tightly into fists around his upper arms. "You had no way of knowing."

Dominic shut up, once he realized how tense his lover was, and just drove silently through the city. He cruised easily, quietly, the car doing just as he asked it to as he drove in the quiet of the middle of the night. It was nearing midnight, and he hadn't been lying before. The exhaustion from the day lay heavy in his weary bones. He rubbed his face a little, his goatee, and shifted his eyes to Lionel once in a while.

Lionel's body sat rigidly in the seat, knuckles white from the power of his own grip. His arms would be bruised but he didn't rightly give a flying fuck. He felt Dominic's stare shifting over to him every few moments, and each time it did, he bristled slightly. "I'm not going to throw myself from the car, Dominic. You don't have to watch me."

Dominic didn't bother explaining himself. If Lionel wanted to think that's why he was worried, then fine. He just watched the road and ignored his snapping lover, taking care on the rain slicked streets until he had cruised them right into the parking lot in front of his building. He took the car off, the ignition as well, and slid out of the car without another word said, umbrella in tow.

Lionel followed, just as silently, unhooking his seatbelt and following him through the lobby until they stood in front of the elevators.

He pushed the button, and slid inside when it dinged, taking them up to his floor. He stepped out of the elevator without a mishap, keys in hand to open his door, and he didn't quite know what to do with himself as he opened his house. They hadn't been here in over a month, and the ugly, dark, deep feelings of what had happened here still clung to the walls in some places, extenuated by the moods they were both in. But he stepped in regardless, and closed the door behind his lover. "Would you like... some coffee?"

"No, no coffee, thank you. But I would like to borrow your shower, if you don't mind." Lionel slowly peeled off his raincoat and tossed it over the back of the nearest chair.

"You don't have to borrow it… its ours." He said it, quietly, as he pulled his own jacket off, tossing his keys onto the side table beside the door.

"Yes, but it's courteous to ask, as this is your apartment, and I'm asking to use it first." Usually a small smile would have accompanied, but he could barely muster it.

"Its not courteous. The line we'd drawn in the sand was erased when we married. Yours is mine, mine is yours. Go, shower. I'll brew some coffee, for me at least."

"Thank you." Lionel disappeared into the shower, unbuttoning his shirt as he went. Shirt, jacket, and pants were all meticulously folded on the bed, and he looked behind the bathroom door for his robe, and found it still hanging there. He left it on the hook and climbed nakedly into the shower, turning the water on scaldingly hot. Once the door was closed to the shower stall, Lionel leaned his head against the wall, body wracking with huge, rending sobs.

Dominic looked up as the shower started up, and looked quietly down at the countertop, where the metal canister of coffee was sitting, waiting for him to make it. He was... horribly sad, to say the least, because he was always fucking up in some way. Always fucking up, no matter what he did, and his sight blurred for a moment as he began to scoop coffee into the coffee filter.

Lionel stayed in the shower for long moments, nearly twenty minutes, crying silently into the hot spray as it rained down on him, washing all traces of it away. The hot water forced his tense body to relax, and the water ran through his hair and down his face, calming him.

Dominic had tried. Honestly, he had.

But he was so tired, so tense with sadness that he'd caused Lionel, so emotionally wrung out, that he had to lay his head down for a second.

A second became twenty minutes, and he found himself, asleep, on the stools in the kitchen, snoring softly with an arm as a pillow.

When Lionel got out of the shower, he was wrapped in his robe, slightly more relaxed, and cried out. He expected to smell coffee, but instead found his lover sleeping on a bar stool.

Soft catch in his throat, and Lionel carefully crossed the living room, picking his lover up with some effort, and pulling him close to his chest.

A start… Dominic blinked and opened his eyes, once, looking into his lovers and making a soft noise. Lionel's eyes were rimmed with red, and he shook him until he was set down, so he could gently pull his husband close, and lead them both to bed. "I l've you. 'm sorry for dredging up things. 'm sorry. I love you. I don' want you sad, lovely."

Lionel reluctantly put Dominic back down on the floor, and took his hand as he was led into the bedroom. "I love you, my little cricket. I do. And... you didn't dredge up anything. You couldn't have known. At all. Please... don't blame yourself."

"You didn't kill Julian, Lionel." Dominic whispered it back, as he gently ran his fingers through wet hair and unwrapped his robe, letting it fall so he was naked. Dominic tugged his own shirt up, and slacks, letting them and his underwear fall, before he turned to pull back the covers. The heat was on in the apartment, comfortably low and cozy, and he motioned for Lionel to join him between cool sheets. "Don't think you did. You couldn't have known. Millions of people have used those types of cribs, and we're all still here."

"But I did," he said softly, throat closing off again. "Please... I don't want to talk about it. At all." He slid between the sheets beside his lover, pulling Dominic close to him, chest to his lover's back as he cradled him protectively close.

Dominic cuddled in close, pulling Lionel's arms close to his body, and frowned softly into the shadows of the bedroom as they arranged blankets and limbs to fall into the comfortable niche that they had. "You didn't. You didn't. You're such a beautiful person. I love you. I don't want you to think you're going to hurt Aurora...you won't. You're a beautiful man... I love you."

Lionel closed his eyes as he rested his forehead against Dominic's shoulder. "I love you, my cricket. I'm relying on you, to help make sure I don't hurt our daughter."

"You don't have to. You won't." Dominic answered, as strongly as he could. "You won't. I love you, so much. I love you, so very, very much. Don't... close off on me anymore, angel. Don't cry anymore. I'm here, you can lean on me. Don't let your pride get in the way."

Lionel's grip tightened on his lover's arms. "You have to promise me, Dominic. Lillian trusted me, and she loved me, and she gave me two sons to take care of. One of them I'm just barely on speaking terms with and I killed the other one. Promise me you will not let that happen with Aurora."

"Don't. Stop." He whispered, in the dark. "I won't have you cheapening yourself, and your life, because of this. You're a fine man, a good man, and you underestimate yourself so much it makes me ache. There was nothing you could do. You know damn well the reasons for the estrangement with Lex, just as you know its on the mend and you're close again. Julian... was an act of fate, something you couldn't stop. He died because he was meant to, Lionel. SIDS is just that... sudden infant death. There are no explanations for it, no reasons, and no one knows why it happens. I... just told you what I knew about the precautions they say for parents to take."

"Promise me." Lionel's hands tightened even harder on Dominic's arms. "Promise me now."

Dominic squeezed his own hands into fists. "I can't promise something that I know in my heart you won't even do."

Lionel let go of his lover then, and rolled onto his back so that Dominic fell against his side. "Then how do you expect our child to live?"

Dominic rolled, as his lover fell, and curled up against his side, bringing their faces together, close so he could see in the dark, as his legs twined and arms tightened around him. "Our child will live. And breath. She's already faced outrageous adversity up to this point. Her soul's a strong one, Lionel. She'll leave, and breathe, and dance and sing, and no matter what we do to fuck up, she'll survive. You can't...go into this thinking you're going to kill her, for Christ's sake, Lionel."

"I didn't think I was going to kill Julian, either, but we both see how that turned out," Lionel bit off angrily.

"Its like saying it was Clark's fault that Richard died, Lionel." Dominic answered, softly, his fingertips gently stroking over angry lines on Lionel's face. "There was nothing you could have done, Lionel."

"Yes, there was. I could have let him stay in Lex's crib. Then maybe, he would still be here."

"No, Lionel. Even if you'd put him in Lex's crib," And saying it in itself was odd, Lex's crib. He was surprised in a way that Lex hadn't popped out 23 years old with an attitude. "What of the blankets, toys, mattress? There are a thousand variables, Lionel. You couldn't. Have. Known."

"You said it yourself, Dominic." He didn't let the stroking fingers assuage his guilt. "The crib suffocated my child. I was responsible for choosing the crib. Therefore, I was responsible for killing my son."

"God, dammit Lionel." Dominic said it, as he rolled over onto his back. "You didn't kill him, Lionel. You didn't. Their was nothing you could have done, nothing you could have known. You didn't kill him Lionel, you didn't kill him. Nothing you could have done. Please, you have to believe me."

"Of course there was something I could have done," Lionel said softly. "I was his father."

The soft words had Dominic turning again, and this time, where before Lionel had cradled him protectively close, now Dominic did, holding his lover tenderly against his chest. "You're not God. You're not fate. You can't stop the floods, you can't cure cancer. You're just a man, Lionel. A wonderful, beautiful man, but just that. A man. There was nothing you could have done to save his life, Lionel. The angels chose him for their own, beloved."

"I'm just a man, Dominic... but a father. A father is more than that. You'll... you'll understand, when she's born. But a father... a father is responsible for so much more, so many things. I was responsible for his life. And it's my fault that life ended when it did. Just like I can be proud of Lex's accomplishments and say, he is where he is today because of me, I have to do that with both of my children. Julian, too, is where he is today, because of me."

The pain in Dominic's heart lit his eyes, all for his lover, as his fingers stroked through all of that lovely hair. "Don't grieve again for something that is out of your control. It wasn't your fault, Lionel, you just have to believe me when I say that. It wasn't your fault, lovely. it wasn't. Neither of you knew, and maybe it wasn't because he suffocated at all. These things happen just because, lover, and no one knows why. Stop beating yourself up, please Lionel."

"To ask me that, is to ask me to forget," he said quietly. "And I can't. I won't."

"I don't want you to forget, baby." Dominic answered back, softly, and reached for his lover, to tuck him close only if he wanted to. "But you can't hate yourself forever, Lionel, you can't."

"Watch me," Lionel whispered softly, pulling close to his lover, and letting his head rest against Dominic's shoulder.

"I can't bear it, my love." He whispered back, just as quietly, as he held him tightly and close. "I can't bear it when you hate yourself so much. The man I see is so beautiful, so wonderful and kind."

Lionel didn't answer, just stared out into the darkness, staying pressed close to his lover.

He wanted to scream Answer me! but he knew he couldn't. So he just turned more onto his side, half on his belly, and wrapped Lionel close in his arms, under blankets and pillows. He couldn't sleep, as tired as he was, and he lay his cheek on his lovers head, watching the shadows.

Lionel shifted the pillows until he was comfortable on them, and he pulled Dominic's arms around his waist, calmly brushing his thumbs over his lover's wrists and palms.

"I love you, Lionel. I'll never think you a killer of little babies. It was an accident, a horrible accident." Dominic said it, softly, into the dark. "It was out of your control. I don't want you... to be angry, angry with yourself, angry with the world. I don't want you to hurt."

Lionel didn't answer again, just kept up his soothing strokes on his lover's hands. He couldn't answer. Didn't want to fight, to argue, but knew that he was exactly that. A murderer of his own child.

"I love you." He said again, softer into his lovers ear. "I love you so much. What I think, what I feel, matters. And I'm telling you... I'm telling you, Lionel, you aren't a killer, as much as you think you are. You didn't kill your own son." God took him away, but Dominic couldn't say that, in front of his non believing lover. "He wasn't meant to be with you."

"I love you too, Dominic." More soft stroking, and he didn't say anything else as he just tugged Dominic closer.

 

-fin-

go on to the next part