The Memoirs

Jor-El was standing there calmly, hands clasped behind his back as he rocked on his heels. "Kal? Kenep? Are you well?" he asked, with half a smile as he watched his son's aushna' whiten like a sheet and drop the baggage. "Perhaps you should lie down."

Lex was hanging onto Clark for support, easing the bunny cage down onto the floor with their luggage as he stared. The figure in front of them was wearing a pair of rather baggy fitting jeans, and one of Lex's larger sweaters that hugged his shoulders and fell loosely over the rest of him. "Wh--who?"

Clark knew. He knew exactly who it was, but his eyes were so enormous in his head that all he could do... was stare. Just stare, blindly, at the man standing there before him. Handsome, very handsome, with dark, stunning eyes, and a strong body. The hologram had done nothing to show how truly handsome Jor-El was, and Clark was caught off guard by how much he and his father looked alike. The same bright green eyes, the same cheekbones, and his throat convulsed closed as he looked at him. "F... father?"

"In the... well, pseudo-flesh." He smiled again, and tossed his hair back over his shoulder, much in the same way Lionel did. "Kal, my son. I apologize if my sudden appearance has startled you. I must admit, I was rather startled myself at the abrupt change from mechanism to flesh, but over the last day I believe I've accustomed myself to it."

Yeah, right. Like Clark had time for words right at the second. He all but leapt over the luggage and tackled his father in an extremely tight embrace. He was strong, flesh under his hands, much more than anything he'd been as a hologram, and he felt his heart beating so fast he was sure it was going to explode. He hugged him, as hard as he could, and didn't. Let. Go.

Jor-El returned the embrace tightly, stroking over Clark's hair and smiling softly beside him. "Kal-El, a'werthalen, I have missed you." His arms stayed around Clark's shoulders, hugging him as tightly and as long as he'd like. "Greetings to you to, Kenep-El. Will you not come and greet your father too?" A gentle grin. "Or father in law, as I believe your culture makes the distinction?"

Lex nodded dumbly, moving carefully through the maze of dropped luggage to join the group hug, arm tight around Jor-El's neck as he finally found words. "I am so glad you're here."

Clark? Letting go? Not likely. Clark? Sharing? Much more likely, and he moved a little as he breathed his father in, and yeah, the tears flooded his face. He never thought he'd get this, this man out of his stupid, clunky ship and he keened in joy as he hugged him as hard as he could. "You're here, amadol, you are here with me."

Jor-El used one arm to hug Lex's waist, and then, when he felt Clark's tears on his shoulder, brought it back to his son. "I am here with you, my son, and you will never be alone again. I will always be with you." He stroked his fingers gently through Clark's hair and held his son's face tightly to his shoulder. "I am here with you, Kal."

Clark brought his face up, choking on his soft sobs as he tried to push them down, and touched his fathers shoulders, as if to ground him that he was real. "I can't believe it. I can't... you're here, you're here with me. Father... sit, tell us everything, please, tell us everything."

"I'm here." Jor-El brought his palm up and linked fingers with one of Clark's hands, and when Lex tried to pull away, caught Lex's hand with his other. He pulled them both down to sit on the side of the bed beside him, and rested each of their heads on his shoulder. "There is time for everything later, Kal, because everything I know would take your entire lifetime and then some to teach you. Ask me questions I can answer now."

"Father, are you here forever?" He choked on another harsh sob, and wound his arm around his fathers back. He even had a distinct smell, like lemons but... not. He squeezed his waist, hard, and hugged him tightly close to him.

"Yes. I am here forever. I will be here for your grandchildren's children, and likely beyond. Because the power source in the ship is eternal, so am I."

With those words, Clark found a comfort, a very quiet weight falling off of his shoulders and down into the abyss of his mind. He held his father, squeezed his waist again, and closed his eyes. "I love you so much, father. Thank you, thank you so much for this sacrifice you have made."

Jor-El touched his son's face softly. "I made only one sacrifice, Kal-El, and that was sending you away from our home so that you might have a chance to live. As you have had a good life, I don't regret it at all."

He swallowed, hard, looking at him in the eyes even as his throat bobbed and burned. "Father..." He was shaken from his reverie as he once again stood, and couldn't help giving his father a smiling glance over. "Your clothes... they're wonderful. I'm glad you were able to find things that fit. Do… do you know anything of the way we live?" Then a moment. "I'm so sorry we weren't here for you, when you were once again born, father."

Jor-El looked down at his clothes. "They aren't quite what I am used to; I must admit that I miss my rewa more than I'd expected."

Clark understood, and he nodded, quietly, as he motioned his fingers. "Come with your werthalen... he will show you." He smiled, and for the first time since they'd stepped in, looked at Lex, unblinking, unseeing. "Lex? Call… call Toby. To get papers. And Rico and Aden. He needs clothes." Didn't stop to think about it, as he motioned to his father. "You will have the bedroom across from ours, father?"

Lex nodded. "Right. I'm on it." He pushed himself to his feet, and headed to the phone, sitting back on the edge of the bed, instead of the floor where he'd fallen. "Clark! Take the tape measure from the closet downstairs and get some rough measurements; we'll see what we can get in the stores here before he meets Rico and Aden, because they're going to be suspicious if they have to build it from the ground up."

"Okay." Clark was extremely distracted, eyes not coming off of his father, as he led him across the hall. "Are you hungry, father?" A moment. "Do you know what any of this is?" he motioned his hand out to the enormous bedroom across from his and Lex's, as he pushed open the door, softly.

Jor-El gave a deep laugh. "Kal-El, I have access to your knowledge. I know what a bed is and what you do on it, I know how to open doors though we had none on Krypton. You have seen our world once; was our bedroom so different from yours?"

When his father said he knew what a bed was and what one does on it, Clark turned blushed, hot and heavy, and stared at him for a moment before snickering and nodding. "No, not really. But... what about the bathroom?"

Jor-El smiled. "I do know how to use these... primitive indoor jakes," he said with a small curl of his lip. "Though I will not have need. I will need to draw substance into myself, not excrete it."

"Yeah?" He sat down on the edge of the bed, all done in blue, and looked at his father for a long moment. "Tell me, how... how will your body work?"

"As it is created now, I am a shell. With little substance spread throughout my body. The more food I consume and the more substance I take into myself, I will become more solid--I will, as you put it... gain weight? Until I am the normal weight for a man of my height. As I am now, I weigh less than your aushna', and will need to eat. My body, as it was created, does not waste food, as yours do, and I will have no need therefore to excrete."

He nodded, tightly, and looked at him for a long moment. "You'll gain weight?" it was all unbelievable to think, and he raised his hand to offer his father the seat next to him. "We will bring you as much food as you like, any kind of it you'd like, as well." His throat closed. "You will stay with us, father?"

"I'll gain weight, but my body shape won't change." He sat down and pulled Clark down beside him. "Think of it as filling a vase with water. The shape of the vase does not change, even though the weight of it does as you fill it. That is me, at the moment. I am an empty vase." He smiled. "Of course I will stay with you. I don't have anywhere else I would rather go. Kenep and I need to finish our experiments, now that I am here, as to how far I can go before my power source will no longer let me go, though we are in agreement that it will be the limits of this house, and possibly it's gardens. I see in his mind questions of whether or not a solar panel can be used to extend my range, and we will see."

"Can you see us, father?" Clark's voice was very tiny and very quiet. "Can I link with you? Will you feel me?"

"Yes, yes, and yes," Jor-El answered, with small smiles. He didn't make any other physical answer, because he knew the words he might use would be inadequate to answer his son's feelings, and instead, answered with his own. "I cannot initiate the link; you must. But we can."

Oh shit. Okay. Clark nodded, tightly, and he felt a heavy swell of pride at the joy this gave him. He turned, nodding, swallowing, nodding and swallowing again as his eyes met his. "Will you be able to tell me everything, father? About my mother... about the brother I never had?" Whispered as he began to prepare, emptying his mind.

"Yes, I will." A little smile as he looked into Clark's eyes. "Do not worry, Kal. You know all that you need to know. You will find the answers you seek."

He nodded, tightly, and scooted closer a little, as he sat down cross-legged on the bed. Looking at this man, taller than him, broader, he was surprised for the first time how young he both looked and felt to his older father. He continued to empty his mind, looking for a moment or nirvana to do this, except he had so many questions. "How old are you, father?"

"Our people reckon age differently than humans, but in terms of human years, I am forty-two years old," Jor-El said with a smile. "Kal, look at me. You have nothing to be afraid of. Pick your happiest moment, and use that." He held out his hands, palms up, as though warding off evil. "Then touch my hands."

"You're only a little older than Dominic." he said softly, though his throat convulsed and swallowed hard, and he nodded, closing his eyes and clearing his thoughts with a very deep, very quiet breath.

The happiest moment of his life was his aushna' looking at him in love, and it filled Clark with a warm, soft feeling, all over. With the crackling need to link it brought the emotion even louder and broader and he opened his eyes, to find himself seeing through a white film that seemed to have gone over his eyes. He reached out, and pressed his hands to his father's... trembling at the rush of electricity and energy flying through his body as he did.

Jor-El smiled when he felt the electric surge of his son's link touch his palms, and he closed his own eyes as he closed his fingers around Clark's.

His mind gave a firm tug to the silver strand of thought, making sure it was firmly anchored in Clark's psyche before opening his own. It secured of it's own accord in Jor-El's thoughts, and as he tightened his grip on his son's hands, his thoughts opened further and deeper, revealing memories and knowledge, thoughts and the remains of feelings that he had felt before combined with the newness of emotions that he rediscovered.

He remembered Lara, his wife. Tall and stately beautiful woman, standing in front of the hanging crystals as she made them sing. Her hands floated over them, and each one lit up gently as it played it's single note, and many notes merged into the song. Her hair fell in golden waves over her shoulders, and her eyes sparked with merry mischief as she turned to smile at her husband.

The beautiful matched faces of his sha'nauch; Mira and Seva. Mira, a statuesque woman with raven hair, that could have been Jor's sister in looks, matched with Seva, with luxuriant red tresses and penetrating gray eyes that always divined his problems and solved them with no pain.

The smiling face of his son Kal, learning to count on his fingers and toes before he was sent away, and on the end of that, sadness that there were not double sets of toes and fingers for Kal to count on.

Then the sadness intensified, and Jor-El remembered the face of his son Kon-El, the small body that took up less than the width of his palm, with the family's crest etched in blood on his forehead as he was wrapped in a simple white blanket before being laid to rest in his grave.

Clark's eyes were open, though he was unseeing. Tears slid down from his opaque eyes, flowing down his cheeks as he watched a woman, ameelol, touching crystals that were so beautiful he couldn't wrap his mind around what he was seeing. Her eyes, beautiful, her face and hair, and a sharp tug in Clark's own heart gave, sharing unlocked parts of his heart, now. A woman, big above him, holding him, and the feeling of love and perfection.

Her voice, when she sang, was beautiful.

His fathers sha'nauch... Kal's sha'yuhm, and he sobbed once as he felt the love from them in waves. He remembered them, remembered how they played with them, and now he knew were his pet had come from.

And the sob only intensified, though he could no longer hear or feel himself, as he was brought into his fathers sadness, of losing both his children to fate. Of Kon, forever in his grave, and of Kal, taken away from where he belonged to grow and live in a place unknown.

Jor-El reached out and soothed his son, both physically and mentally, as he shared his memories. Remembered the large Pet, twice the size of toddler Kal, rolling and licking and nosing him, making a little noise that crossed between a bark and a shriek that caused Kal to laugh and receive a mouthful of Pet tongue.

Remembered the grace and beauty of his wife as she'd brought Kal, sleeping still, wrapped in the blanket from his bed, as he was placed in the ship that would carry him to safety. Remembered the tears of his sha'nauch as Mira had placed the miniature toy of Pet into the ship, so that Kal would always be protected. Remembered his own grief as he slid the family crest into the ship and closed the dome, seeing in his own mind the metal doors closing over Kal's sleeping, smiling face.

Clark did, Clark saw it all, and the crushing sense of loss staggered and humbled him. Losing Mar was nothing compared to his fathers pain, losing his son to space to either be killed, sent to a slave world, die of starvation, and Clark squeezed his fathers hands as they held them, there, in his own.

And with it, Clark shared his own joy.

He showed his father the house he'd grown up in, the simple happiness of living where you worked with your hands. His mother and father, and the love they gave him, his friends and family. He showed his father his sha'nauch, Chloe and Whitney, with matching blond hair and soft smiles, and his heart beat and nearly burst in his love for them.

His aushna', tall and proud, and the joy he'd brought to Clark's life. Joy unsurpassed, as with him, Dominic and Lionel came and showed him what it was to love endlessly, to love so much and so deeply that it was truly a melding of souls.

Jor-El slowly absorbed the things that Clark showed him, smiled to see that his son had found not only his aushna' but his sha'nauch, his smile widened to see Dominic and Lionel and the role they filled in Clark's life. His thumbs stroked his son's to gentle the turbulent thoughts, and eased them with more of his own.

The House of El; the gold-threaded tapestry in the main room that was as tall as the rooftop dome, listing the members of the house of El from the beginning of the dynasty. A close up on the tapestry to show Kal-El his name at the bottom, and then, just in Jor-El's memory, showed the name of Oakenep-El appearing beside it, linked with a silver thread instead of gold, to show the link of aushna'. Showed Kal that Jor-El and Lara were linked by the same silver thread, and smiled as Lara's name lit gently with being thought of.

Clark's eyes were flooded, hot and aching with tears, as he watched his lovers name stitched right beside his. To be acknowledged was something that he hadn't before felt from someone who meant so much to him… be acknowledged, and not ridiculed or pitied, and it made his heart swell. His joy was unfounded, and he whispered his pleas to his father to continue to show him what had been their ancestral home.

Jor-El gave a little nod, and the scene changed, from the tapestry to the domed room. The tapestry hung against the wall, and instead of furniture as Clark was used to, there were large shapeless masses of cloud-soft material to sit our lounge in. The room was done in blues, to complement the water shimmering from the small lake beside the home, and one wall was done entirely in transparent material so that the view could be enjoyed.

The next room was the eating area, and Jor-El smiled as he remembered Kal riding Pet down to the area, then dismounting his faithful steed with a grin just filling with teeth as he plopped onto the cube that formed itself around the boy's body to lift him to the table's height. Even Pet ate at this table, though at the farthest end of it, in a special little dish at the end that had been built in. Jor-El and Lara joined him there, laughing themselves as whatever he was serving got stuck all over his face and his hair.

Then the scene changed again, this time to a bedroom. A large basket sat beside the bed, and Pet bounded into it, shriek-barking as Jor carried Kal into the bedroom. The dimmed lights came on at his approach, and the small domed ceiling of the room lit up with a map of the stars as it started to slowly revolve.

Clark felt an awe... a strange sort of bittersweet joy, as he watched. He remembered it, barely, hardly, but that he was there, that he had once known this innocent happiness, made him hopeful for that same joy once again. He held onto the dreams, tightly, onto what had once been, and offered his father his own home.

The sunlit barn, where it was so safe. A big, bulky red couch, so comfortable to plop in or sleep on. A hammock, where he and his lover had slept many evenings away. Pictures of his friends and family, and his barn cat. The happy evenings spent with his parents in the sunny kitchen, where the scent of baking was always a fixture in their home. Sharing easy laughter and happiness, then retiring to the comfort of his barn, then bedroom.

His dreams of being with Lana, and he saw her, crystal clear in his mind as he shared it with his father. Her beauty, her elegance and grace, that slowly began to dim in his eyes, to be replaced by Lex's face, Lex's hands, which were the most beautiful thing about him. His heart, his soul, and the love he felt for his aushna' roared in his blood like a hot furnace.

Jor had to chuckle softly at the strange, small furry creature that liked to sleep on Clark's stomach and Lex's head. Cat, Clark called it, and it had a name, Butt, and he was amused.

The pictures of Kal's friends intrigued Jor, and he examined each one closely, letting his thoughts wander through his son's, digging no deeper than the surface as he sought out the associations each picture brought. Smiling again, then laughing, at the memory of Kal floating, then falling onto the bed, breaking it without realizing.

A slight recoil at the memory of Lana, and patiently Jor-El tracked down the cause in his own consciousness until he came to l'aina, a word of their own planet for a mythical beast that came to men in the night and sucked their souls away. A surge of approval as the face began to fade and be replaced with the face of Kal's aushna', and he felt the burning in Kal's blood.

Felt the burning in his own blood as he shared his aushna's essence with her son, her beauty and smile, her laugh, the way her hair fell past her shoulders and the way her eyes danced when she played the crystals.

Opened the door to his own bedroom then, heavy with the scent of jhaeela flowers. A small noise of surprise when he saw the reflection of the room in Clark's thoughts, and nodded. This would have been your room as you had found your aushna' in our people, Kal. For this room had been the same room that Clark had taken Lex to, unknowingly.

Clark laughed through his tears... he couldn't help it. His fathers obvious dislike wasn't one of an unknown origin, and he shared Chloe's winces, Whitney's faces, and Lex's reactions to the girl. Though he recoiled himself as l'aina flittered in his head he was pushed past it, and showed his mother, how she really looked, through his fathers eyes. She was beautiful, stunning really, and Clark memorized her face. She hadn't given birth to him but she was still his mother, and he loved her endlessly without having ever known her.

And with her face Clark showed his father his own mothers. Her soft red hair, green eyes, and though she was aging beautifully, the laugh wrinkles around her eyes and lips, still a stunning beauty despite her years.

Jor-El could appreciate the faces made by Kal's friends, and promised to commend them on it at the first possible moment. Then he paused, for a very long moment, as he studied this woman who had raised the son borne from his body.

Beautiful in her own way, though not as Lara had been--at least not in Jor-El's eyes--and obviously was kind and softhearted, to take in a child sent from she knew not where, and yet, strong too, to be able to take such a special child in hand and raise him up to be such a fine man. A little image that he had picked up from one of the many thoughts in Clark's mind, and he imagined a hand stamping Martha's forehead with an A+.

Clark laughed again, softly, and squeezed his fathers hands, tightly, as he finally opened his eyes.

It was dark in the room. Only a soft light had been lit, and as Clark regained his senses, blinking himself back into wakefulness with a very beautiful new thread in his heart… he realized Lex was asleep, with his head on his lap.

He blinked again, fingers still linked with his fathers, and looked down at his beautiful aushna' for several moments, in wonder.

Lex woke from his nap as he felt Clark shifting, and he rolled onto his back first, and was caught before he could sit up by Clark's eyes, and Lex brought his hand up to Clark's face. "Are you all right?" he asked softly.

Jor-El gave a soft laugh. "I believe your aushna' is tired, Kal. I gather you went on... holiday, is the term?" He reached out and stroked Kenep's head gently. "Worry not, Kenep. I will not harm your aushna'; I merely linked with him, as I would have been linked to him had I lived. He will tell you himself; he bound to Mar before his passing--" Jor-El paused there, and did a small hand gesture, his first two fingers together drawing a slash over his heart before coming to his lips, "--and is now bound to me in the same way."

Clark nodded, softly, down at his lover, and was surprised at his father touching Lex's head just like that. Clark had thought he was the only person allowed to do it, but that Jor did it, and Lex allowed it, warmed something Clark thought could never be warm again inside of his heart. "I am bound now, to my father, as you are bound to me, aushna'." Clark whispered, down at his Lex, and smiled warmly as he carefully stroked the backs of his fingers over a beautiful cheekbone. "And in so doing, he is now bound to you, and you to him. Do you feel the new link, aushna'?"

Lex nodded. "I do, but I only feel it through you, like an echo of what you feel." He hadn't stirred when Jor-El had stroked his head so gently, and he looked up at Clark at the warm rush of happiness, slightly curious.

Jor-El gave a small nod. "That is as far as I am allowed to go," Jor-El said softly. "He is not my aushna'; I cannot join with him as deeply as you have. What he feels of me, what bond we have, will always be through you, my son."

For some odd reason, that gave him a hot pleasure. No one could ever have Lex like Clark had him, and he beamed at his father, as he squeezed his lover close. "I am so happy. I... I am so happy." He didn't know how else to say it, as he beamed again at his father, then down at Lex, who he gave a tight squeeze.

"Tu'uha unhinkalas," Jor-El translated softly. "That means in this language, I am feeling the ultimate happiness."

"Uhnkin unhinkalas e' tuelm reema. Ent jern-aie, an xrecta." Clark whispered, back. (There is happiness, so much of it. My family, without pain.)

Jor-El nodded, pleased to hear the extended vocabulary coming from his son. "You will be without pain now, because I am here and can help protect you from it." He stroked Clark's cheek softly, with the same gentle touch that he had caressed Lex's head. "Your aushna' needs rest, as do you. Tomorrow is another day, and we will have all the ages of this world together. You can sleep for a few hours, Kal."

He smiled, softly, broadly, and nodded, though he reached up and squeezed the hand on his face. "Before we retire, father… Lex and I... he has agreed, as I asked him... for our children to be born where we just came from. It is a place of magic, where the earth sings. We want our children to be born there, father, when you believe the time is right for my body."

"You have just had your last cycle, Kal. Have you not noticed your body is larger now than it ever was? In..." He paused to compute, and this time, his body did not flicker out as it had as a hologram. "In nine of Earth's months, your body will be ready. It will be up to you, and to your aushna', to determine if you are ready." Jor turned a cautious eye on Kenep. "Kenep-El, you must not cave to Kal's wishes if they are not your own."

Lex just gave a little nod. "I understand, and I won't. Not on this. But I know... I know that his and mine will agree. We both want children, Jor."

Clark looked down at himself. In his eyes, he wasn't any different, and he shrugged at his father, absently. "I see nothing different, father, except when I... change, when I'm full of adrenaline." He tipped his head. "Nine months from now?" A soft breath. "We want to wait... until I start college."

Lex gave a little cough. "Remember? Picked up about an inch below the belt and around the biceps?"

Jor nodded. "That's to be expected; that's the sign of your body's final maturation, when you've finally grown into your size." Then he gave a little grin. "Ah yes. You are experiencing rachiaosis, which is your body overproducing the adrenaline to compensate for your body's activities. Your metabolism should be consuming adrenaline by the gallons when you fly or use your abilities, but you are not. Therefore, it inflates your body instead, to better utilize the excess production."

Clark glared at his lover, and shook his head. He felt the same, though he didn't say anything else as he looked at his father. "I can fly. It is pretty cool, and the inflating is okay, I don't really mind it. But none of my clothes fit right when I'm like that, and I already broke two belts." A little pout, as he searched his fathers eyes. "Do you have abilities, father?"

"I have a simple solution to that," Jor-El started. "Do not wear a belt."

Lex cracked up quietly at that, ducking his head from the glare he knew would be coming his way.

"We seem to share the same sense of humor, Kenep," Jor commented dryly. "To answer your question, Kal, no, I do not. This is not my original body, as it is yours, and it does not have the same mechanisms in place yours do."

Clark ever so sweetly socked his lover in the shoulder, then turned his eyes back to his father. "You gave me an indirect answer, last time. Am I the only one who can do the things I can do, father... I mean, before our world was destroyed?"

Jor-El nodded, and then held out his hands. "I believe so, Kal. It is a theory that Seva and I were working on for many years before, how our bodies would react under the lights of different suns. Before the Isolation, our people would go to other worlds, with yellow suns, red suns, white suns. Each one who went had a different tale to tell. One said his body was light as a feather; another woman said she could light fires just by looking at an object. Did all of our people have this potential? It is possible, though never proven. Seva and I believed that each color sun gave our people different gifts, though we never had time to delve deep. On our world, we could do nothing. It was only on other worlds where we could have."

He listened, quietly. Very quietly. "Father... my abilities scare even me." It was all he said, for a long moment, his eyebrows furrowed tightly in thought. "I... am able to create fire with my eyes. I can also see very far away. I... can hear crickets hundreds of miles away, if I concentrate. I am able to make ice with my breath if I chose, I can fly, and I can run twice the speed of sound."

Jor-El smiled sadly. "Do not be afraid of the unknown, Kal-El. It is conquering the unknown, learning what is yet unknown that gives the El family it's credo. T'gaia, liskarem y'chandra. Truth, honor and equality. Those are the things our House stands for, and if you fear the truth, if you fear the unknown truth, then you bring dishonor to your house. You, Kal, have nothing to fear."

The hot fear that he would dishonor his family, being the last of it as he was, made his throat constrict violently, and he just nodded, and squeezed his fathers hand in his. "I won't dishonor you, not again, not ever. I promise." But it snapped him out of his quiet reverie, as he looked around himself. "Father... are you hungry?"

"No." Jor-El shook his head softly. "It's not a promise you make to me, Kal-El, but to yourself. To honor yourself, and to never fear yourself. You are trustworthy and steadfast, for you are El. Do you understand?" He made a slight dismissive motion. "Food in a moment. Understanding now."

He nodded, quietly. He understood, but... "I have been neither of those things since Mar, father."

Lex butted in, before Jor-El could speak. "Yes you have, Clark. You've been both of those things." He had been drowsing, listening to the quiet drone of Jor's voice and Clark's responses, but this one had pulled him back to wakefulness. "You have been a rock; had you not been, Whitney would not have survived his mother's death, Chloe would still be running around like a chicken over her pregnancy, even your relationship with your parents would still be in ruins, not to mention ours." He touched his aushna's wrist gently, so their pulses pounded together for a moment. "You know I speak the truth."

"I feel… I have disappointed you." Clark whispered, very softly, even as he looked at his lover sadly. "I wish I could have done these differently, Kenep. If I had been stronger, the pain wouldn't have gone on as long." But he closed his eyes, and set his forehead on his lover's. "And though I panic, and I feel that way, I know I have done my best by you and our sha'nauch, and I am proud to know you feel in kind."

Lex knew Jor-El was watching quietly, and he chose his words carefully. "I don't wish you had done anything differently, Kal," he said softly. "To wish you had done them differently would be to wish that you are not who you are; it would be to wish that you did not have the heart that loves me deeply, the heart that finds room in it for our sha'nauch and my father, and Dominic, and your family and our friends. To wish you had reacted differently is to wish you to be a different person, and I would never wish that, because you, as you are, are the one that I love."

"I love you." Clark said, very quietly, very softly, and pressed a kiss to his lovers forehead, then his lips, and he squeezed his hand tightly as he watched him. Whenever he looked at his beautiful lover the world faded around him, and he hadn't a clue Jor-El was watching silently. He just pressed another kiss to Lex's mouth, softly, and he blinked softly, and looked up at his father. "In the morning, father, will you meet with Dominic and Lionel?"

Lex returned the kisses softly, and stayed awake this time, leaving his fingers to stroke gently through Clark's hair.

Jor-El looked steadily at Lex for several moments. "You are a worthy mate for my son, Oakenep-El. You find understanding in your heart when you may not have it in your head, and that is to be commended." Then he nodded. "Of course I will; I will gladly meet with both of them, and anyone else you will have me meet." A small grimace down at his clothing. "If you are provided with the measurements, could you possibly have a rewa sewn?"

"Probably." A glance at his lover, even as he smiled at his father. "We will find you comfortable clothes, father. I wish... I wish for you to meet my sha'nauch, and the friends of myself and sha'nauch, as well as Lionel and Dominic. They are my family, and you are a part of that, now." Another smile, as he squeezed Lex's fingers in his. "He is very worthy. He is the most worthy of all people, and I am worthy of him."

Lex just gave a chuckle. "Of course we can. I have friends coming by on Thursday--that's four days from today--to fit you with a proper wardrobe. We can turn the design over to them, and they will have it by the following week. You are like my father in that."

Jor-El chuckled. "I merely wish to be comfortable, Kenep."

Lex raised his head. "Before I forget, I have to ask the two of you. I have set the processes in motion to obtain the proper documentation for you, Jor, but we are missing a name. How do you feel about being... Jordan Elliot?"

Clark listened, quietly, to his lover, and watched his father as they spoke. They had an easy way of speaking to one another that spoke of an a friendship that had begun to grow, but instead of the pang of jealousy Clark expected to feel, instead he was cheered, immensely, at the concept of his lover and his father being close to one another. He just listened, smiling, and blushed softly.

Jor-El couldn't help the flicker of distaste that crawled over his features. "Jordan Elliot? That's rather..."

"Plain and boring, yes, I know, but the more normal your name sounds, the easier it'll be to obtain documentation that can be stamped and forged because it won't remain in people's memories."

Jor-El waited patiently through Lex's outburst. "As I was saying, that's distressingly Terran. But I suppose I have no other choice." He nodded at Clark. "Tell me, Kal. How do you think Jordan Elliot fits me?"

Clark nodded, and he couldn't get the idiot grin off of his face. So he just took his fathers hand again, beaming like an idiot, and snickered when his fathers face looked disgusted. "Easy to read, easy to forget. That'll be the good thing about it, father, that way people won't become suspicious." Another beam, as he rolled up to his feet. "Lets go find something to eat. You've got to be starving. What would you prefer, father?" A little smile at him. "Don't be disgusted. Terrans, as you say, eat meat." He winced, and waited for the scream that would bring as he offered his hand for his father to stand.

Jor-El, to his credit, didn't scream, but he did make a very, very disgusted noise. "What kind of primitive place did we send you to, my son, that you still ingest the flesh and meat of animals to sustain you." He took Clark's hand and was pulled to his feet. "Sh'roth would strike down all of us, if he yet existed."

"It's pretty good, actually." For once, Clark acted his age, snickering at the disgusted look on his fathers face, as Clark's fingers wound around Lex's and tugged him up into his arms for a tight hug. "Really, really good. You might like it, if we don't tell you what it is. On… on the farm where I lived, we raised animals for food."

Jor-El blinked again. "We sent you to the most primitive civilized world in the known universe. I am sure of it." He put his head in his hands. "I will not eat meat. You, on the other hand, my son, are more than welcome to consume all of it you want, and I will not think less of you."

Lex flowed up into Clark's arms and he wrapped his own around his lover's waist. He buried his snicker in Clark's shoulder, and was beaming when he turned his face around. "I never thought there'd be a vegetarian in your family, Clark." He paused. "Or would you be vegan, Jor?"

Jor-El gave a little chuckle. "I believe vegan is the appropriate term, if I read your knowledge of it correctly."

Clark winked at his lover, as well, and led his father from the room. "Come on...I think Ms. Bird is still hanging around. Ms. Bird, father, is the cook for the manor. She's incredible, she'll make you anything you choose." Because this whole 'vegan' thing mystified him, he gave his lover a little questioning look, even as they walked down the long hall.

Jor-El explained it as they started down the hallway. "On our world, animals are considered to be holy because they are the last simple, pure creation that remained. Everything else was man-made, processed, and created by us to facilitate our lifestyles. The Sh'roth caste are the Guardians of the animals, and to invoke their name is to invoke their protection or damnation." A wry grin. "Some of us found it humorous that a civilization as advanced as we were still required any element of religion. But I am digressing. The Sh'roth credo is, We do no harm to animals; we protect them and they live in our grace; we do not defile them. They consume nothing that comes from animals, nor wear any clothing made from the skins and hides. By default, our culture lived in much the same way, as we were able to produce meat-like substitutes with our technology, and our clothing was all artificial fibers."

And here, Lex picked up the narrative. "And this is where the Vegan philosophy meshes with the Sh'roth. Vegans eat nothing that comes from animals. No meat, eggs, fish, honey, milk, nothing that comes from the exploitation of animals. They refuse to wear leather, silk, or wool for the same reasons, because it represents cruelty, abuse, and death to the animals that the hides and so forth are harvested from."

Clark stepped down from the main flight of steps onto the thick, lush runner in the front hall, and let go of his lover to grasp his fathers hand. He squeezed it, tightly, and quietly led him to the front doors, where the frosted glass reflected the moon shining in from it. He opened the door, where the dew had begun to cling to the blades of grass, where dusk had kissed the world an hour ago, and where the full moon shown down on the beautiful world. Clark looked at it, quietly, and smiled at his father. "Its beautiful during the day."

Jor-El looked out at the front door, and his eyes fell on the small rise where he knew his grandson was buried. He gave a little smile and he reached out the door, and watched as his hand faded as it crossed the threshold of the house. "It's as I thought," Jor-El said softly. "But yes, Kal, it must be. It is beautiful now." He looked up, at the single satellite moon and the different configuration of stars. "I can't wait to see the morning."

Clark's eyes fell when his father tried to step out, and in his heart, he yearned for his father to move about. He squeezed the fingers inside the house still, and smiled up at him, softly. "We will find a way for you to enjoy the grounds, father. There is an orchard behind the house, as well as an enormous lake. The hill, there, filled with beautiful flowers, and there are extensive, beautiful gardens to the left of the house. We'll make it so you can walk amongst the flowers." Another squeeze of his fathers hand, and a soft smile. "In time, when you and Lex combine your intelligence, there will be a way for you to be free. I want you to have a good life with us, father."

Jor-El pulled his hand back in and gave Clark a bright smile. "Do not worry, Kal. I am here now, and I do not find my limits horrible; compared to the ship and the small radius I had with it, I find this to be a palace indeed. Believe me when I say that I do have a good life, a better life now than I did in the ship, because I am with you."

Clark's eyes warmed in pleasure, and he nodded, softly, shyly. "You can go anywhere you want. There's a huge library down that way," He motioned a hand towards Lex's library, "And about, uh... a hundred rooms or so, to explore. I haven't looked at them yet myself, but there's all kinds of stuff." A soft blush. "I know its okay with Lex, and Lionel and Dominic, when we tell them."

Jor-El gave a little grin. "There are two rooms I would very much like to have access to," Jor-El admitted. "The library is one, and the laboratory is the other." He turned to Clark. "The key and the console of the ship will still eject. You must keep these components together and safe, however, because they are the heart of me. When you eject the console, you will see that there is a slot for the key. Once you insert the key into that slot, I can be moved to another location. The ship will always be my core, and I cannot be away from it for long, no more than a week of your time."

"Okay." Clark nodded, softly, and smiled at his father quietly. "Lex and I are going to go live in Metropolis, a very big city near hear, when I go on to college. We'll take you with us, father… I'm so glad we'll be able to still have you." Another blushing smile, as he motioned for him to follow. "Lex's laboratory.." He turned a smile on his lover. "He'll have to tell you about it, because I'm clueless. The library... all I know is that there are a lot of books in there. There's another one upstairs, with a piano and a lot of novels and books that Dominic brought with him from Metropolis."

Lex gave a little grin. "There's actually three libraries, two sitting rooms, and half of my office that doubles as a library. You're welcome to the lab, as soon as the renovations are done; The current one has been sealed off, and the equipment is being moved to another lab, on the other side of the house." He gave a little grin. "Too many bad ghosts in the other one. Once it's empty, and the new one is established, I'm going to gut the old one. I'm not sure what I'll turn it into yet."

Clark smiled, gently, at his lover, then winked at his father. "All those affairs he's had down there. Come on... Ms. Bird?" He asked, softly, as he pushed into the kitchen.

Ms. Bird was humming in front of the stove, watching the teakettle boil as she flitted around the kitchen. Then she heard Clark calling her and the door opening. "Ach, chu are home! My boy, my b--"

And then she stopped, mid-sentence. "Und who did chu bring--" Her breath caught in her throat as she noticed the resemblance. "Dis must be chur family, Clark," she breathed out softly, moving to sit down. "He look like chu."

Clark thought fast. Had to, didn't even stutter as he spoke. "This is my... my Uncle Jordan, Ms. Bird. He's going to be staying with us for a little while." A big smile at her, as he beamed up at his father, and then across at the older lady. "This is Ms. Bird, Uncle Jordan." he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her cheek, giving her a tight hug. "We just... came down for some food."

Ms. Bird turned a bright hawk eye on Lex. "Dis is vhat chu tek hem to Ireland for, ja? To find dis unkle?"

Lex nodded. "It certainly is," he answered, the lie tripping easily from his tongue. "My detectives have been looking into finding Clark's family lately, and we found Mr. Elliot has been staying in England for the last few years, and we persuaded him to meet with us, only to find he'd been looking for Clark too."

Clark winced internally at the lie, but smiled, gently, at Ms. Bird, knowing she wasn't buying a lick of it. She was on to him. He knew it… she knew it. But Clark also knew she'd never tell a soul, and he gave her another hug as he smiled at her. "I was wondering if there's anything left of supper? He's hungry."

"Chu have net been away from my kitchen thet long," she scolded. "Chu know dere is always food left." She gave Clark a sharp stare. "Chu, sit down at de tebble, all tree of chu. Chu are all skinny." She huffed as she waddled over to the refrigerator and pulled out half a roasted chicken, a large Caesar salad with croutons, and a half-pound bowl of spaghetti with meatballs. The chicken got popped in the oven, the salad got put on the table, and the pasta got stuck in the microwave as she bustled around and took her teakettle off, muttering to herself about uncle indeed! and British my foot.

Clark smiled again and plunked down on the stool in front of the long countertop. He snuggled in, motioning for his father to do the same, and pulled Lex next to him, giving him a tight embrace. "Uncle... Uncle Jordan is a vegan, Ms. Bird." He said with a smile, and sideglanced his quiet father as he leaned in. "I'll explain to you what it is. I think you're going to like it."

Jor-El laughed heartily at Ms. Bird's antics, and gave the dear woman a kiss on the forehead. "Madam, you remind me of my own mother, in some ways." He mimicked his son, pulling his lanky frame onto the stool and settling on the cushioned pad. "I will take the salad, thank you." He reached for the salad bowl, and was stunned when his fingers were slapped.

"Chu vill vait fer de rest," she said sternly, shaking the wooden tongs she was using to dish out more salad. "Chu do net come into my keetchun und act like un hooligan!"

Clark choked on the laugh, slapping a hand over his mouth as his eyes went wide. He tugged his fathers hands down, biting his lower lip tightly, and shook his head at his father before he got insulted. It is alright, Father. it is her way, do not be insulted. She does it to Lionel, as well, and as you'll come to see, Lionel is extremely proper. Its very amusing; don't let it offend. He squeezed his hands, winked at Lex, and shook his head at Ms. Bird. "You're a mean lady, Ms. Bird."

Jor-El tilted his head to look at his son. I have no intention of becoming offended, Kal. She is quite right, in fact, and I am pleased to see that some culture has managed to penetrate this at-times barbaric planet. But it was said with the mental picture of a grin, and he merely settled back on the stool.

"Chu bet chur bippy I em," she said, waving her tongs around again. "And don'chu forget et!"

"I won't!" Clark let a snicker escape, as he wound his arm around his lovers waist and pressed a kiss to the temple. "I wonder if Lionel and Dominic are still awake, baby." He whispered into Lex's ear, giving the shell a gentle kiss as he hugged him close.

Lex shrugged. "I can go and check."

Ms. Bird whirled on him again, sending a tomato chunk whizzing past Lex's head. "Chu vill do no such think!" she yelled, shaking the tongs with a fury. "De are both older den chu and dey need rest!"

Clark winced, again, harder, and smirked into his lovers cheek. "Ms. Bird, its only nine thirty. They're probably watching TV." He didn't say it, but he wanted Lionel and Dominic to meet his father. "After we eat?"

Lex bit his tongue to keep from laughing. "Notice she doesn't call them old men to their faces." He rubbed his cheek against Clark's, and sent a little mental knock-knock up to Dominic. Are you and Dad still awake, Dom?

Jor-El watched the airborne vegetable with fascination as it whizzed by him, and he blinked at it. "Very interesting food you have here, K--Clark."

"Holy SHIT! I bloody hate it when he does that!"

The room was completely, totally, silent. The TV was on, he and Lionel were lounging in their bed, PJ's thrown on, cozy under their comforter, as Lionel typed on his laptop, and Dominic snuggled in beside him and watched the end of ER. He was sleepy, but not really, because he'd taken a good long nap on the way home from Metropolis.

And then Lex had to go and say something, and nearly made him fall from the bed.

Down in the kitchen, Lex sniggered. "They're awake."

Lionel just blinked, offered a hand up and sighed. "Shall we answer Lex's beckon?" he asked softly.

The little oven timer dinged and Jor-El watched in repulsed fascination as Ms. Bird brought out the half chicken, roasted to a golden brown and warmed up just enough to have the juices flowing. She sat the bird in front of Kenep, and then the other little box dinged, and Jor-El watched as she transferred the spaghetti onto a large serving platter and set that in front of her son. A third dish was set in front of him, a very large bowl of the salad, with the meat pieces that had been in there before thoughtfully removed, and tossed lightly with a spritz of cool water to brighten the lettuce leaves and coincidentally wash the meat residue clean. Oil and vinegar was sat down in front of him as well, and two smaller dishes of salad were set in front of Clark and Lex.

"Get, eat," Ms. Bird huffed, after serving everyone. Her teakettle was whistling loudly, and she made her little pot of nightly chamomile tea and put it on the little tea tray, with milk, honey, and poppyseed muffins. "Put de dishes in de dishwasher," was her last instruction, and the doors to her rooms slammed behind her.

Dominic glared at his lover, glared at the TV, and rolled to his feet. "I hate it when he does that. He scared me silly. Imagine if I'd been eating something, I could have choked." He climbed up and offered his fingers down to his beautiful lover, handing him the long silky robe he was accustomed to wearing, and tugged on a t-shirt over his own bare chest.

Clark smiled to himself, as Ms. Bird set the enormous bowl in front of them, and glanced at Lex, offering. Glanced at his father, offered. And when both said no, he tugged the huge plate towards him, picked up his fork, and went to town. "Oh.." He rose, chewing happily, and got five glasses down from the cabinet, filling them with iced tea for himself and Lex, and swallowed before asking, "What would you like to drink, father?"

Lionel shrugged into the robe and belted it firmly around his waist, and slid his feet into dark brown slippers that were lined with fleece and kept them warm as he walked across the stone floors of the castle. "I am capable of performing the Heimlich Maneuver," Lionel pointed out dryly as he took his lover's hand and stood up, and then held the bedroom door open for him.

Jor-El shook his head no at the offered pasta, seeing the large balls of meat sitting in the tomato sauce, and then chuckled softly as Clark started digging in. "I see that you have put your second stomach to good use, Kal. As for the drink... I think the answer is, I'll have what he's having."

Lex looked at the huge half-bird in front of him. "She has to be out of her mind if she thinks I'm going to eat all this. Clark, would you like a quarter of a chicken to go along with your spaghetti? You can make chicken parmesan."

"You say that like I'm not going to nick it anyway." Clark said sweetly at Lex, as he filled the third glass full of the iced tea, then got Lionel and Dominic cups of coffee. He set them on the counter, still hot and steaming, and plunked back down on his stool as he started to eat again.

Dominic slipped out of the room in front of his lover, stopping, running back, and tugging on his white socks again, before sliding out in front of his lover. He adjusted the elastic on his long cotton pajama pants and took his lovers hand again, yawning into the back of his. "If he got us out of bed for no apparent reason, I'm going to go bat shit."

Lex dug through the drawers until he found a large carving knife, and neatly bisected the steaming bird. "Excuse me, Jor." He picked up his plate, walked behind Jor-El and dumped half of the bird on Clark's plate and carried the other half back to his own seat and sat back on the stool.

Lionel gave a small grin. "Lex usually has a reason for doing the things that he does. We may not always understand it nor agree with it, but there is always some sort of reasoning behind it."

"Reasoning from Mars, perhaps." Dominic growled, as he started down the steps beside his lover. He almost tripped, caught himself on the edge of the carpet, and glared at it. "Christ. I almost took myself a spill... someone needs to fix that. Remind me to speak with Enrique, mm?" He squeezed his lovers fingers and came all the way down the steps. "Lex? Where are you?" He called out, though quietly.

"I'll remind you in the morning," Lionel replied softly, following Dominic and being careful of the rug. "I'd say further out than Mars," he continued, slightly scoffing. "But the reasoning is there."

Lex put his fork down in mid-bite. "We're in the kitchen, Dom!" he called back, just as softly, but in the quiet house, their voices carried. "Clark, by the way, we still have to pick up the puppies from the barn in the morning. At least Jonathan let us use the biggest stall."

Clark blushed, softly, and looked up at his father. "I have three dogs."

"And takes care of one bastard cat, whenever his highness decides to grace us all with his pre--" Dominic stopped.

Sitting beside Clark...was Jor-El.

Except...

His lover ran into him, though not hard, and he took a step forward, eyes still wide as saucers.

 

-fin-

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