The Memoirs

Dominic had been unconscious for five days.

Clark pondered over that, silently, for several long minutes. The doctors and nurses were bustling up and down the hall, patients were being wheeled to and fro, and it was very much a normal afternoon, supposedly. Except something was just wrong, very wrong, and Clark couldn't quite put his finger on what it was.

He watched, dispassionately, as the doctor finally came out of the room, Lionel in tow. They were talking in low voices, and though Clark chose not to listen, he could make out an "Okay" and "Soon". Soon? Okay of what?

The first night he was here they'd drilled holes in his damn head.

Clark had only seen Dominic once after that, and he felt like the biggest cad in the world but he wasn't sure he could see him again until his head had healed. They'd shaved it all off and put burr holes or something in his head. To relieve pressure, and blood. Clark just couldn't take it, not when it came to Dominic, so he sat huddled in the chair outside the door, Lex at his side.

Five days.

He'd talked, at first. When they brought him into the emergency room. He'd been awake, talking. And then suddenly he hadn't, and the doctors were shouting about hematomas, and Clark stared down at the four books under his chair. He'd read all about hematomas. Pressure on the head. He'd watched as they shaved his hair and drilled into his head like he were a piece of wood, drilled right in and there was *blood*.

For once, Clark was very, very, very glad Lex didn't have the same powers he had. He hadn't looked at anything with X-Ray vision since.

Graham had stayed. He was sitting across from them. He came whenever he could through the week, though Clark didn't really know why. He watched him, with a disjointed sense of reality. He and Toni.

Toni had cried. A lot. Because they weren't letting her help, and Clark could almost feel her helplessness like a physical thing.

She sat there with him a lot, too.

The Senatori family had come in and out all week. Shay and Pete, and Chloe and Whitney too. Charlie hovered around once in a while, but Clark didn't really think about it.

Five days. He'd been unconscious for five days.

Lex was sitting in the chair beside Clark.

He was, at the moment, in the depths of a brood that would have made Bruce proud. He was brooding, pondering, and thinking all at the same time, and if it had been anyone else, Lex believed that their brains would have been hurting.

But, because of his lover, and the link they shared, Lex was beginning to think that Clark had cognitive powers that he knew nothing about, because Lex was feeling little instinctual tendrils creeping into his thoughts, letting his mind run on multiple individual tracks at the same time.

His father. The twins and his aushna'. Dominic. LuthorCorp. Those were the four main trains of thought going through his head right now. Waiting for his father to crack, waiting for something to happen with Dominic, just waiting for LuthorCorp to be dropped in his lap any day now.

He sighed, and rubbed his temples as he leaned back in his chair.

Five days. Five long-ass fucking days. He hadn't been at all shocked when the burr holes had been recommended, nor had he been at all shocked when his father had agreed.

He hadn't expected Toni to come hurtling out of the OR, hand clapped over her mouth and vomiting in the ladies room because so much blood had spurted out. After that, she'd been forbidden to have any association with Dominic's case at all.

Dr. Bryce was the neurologist and neurosurgeon that was treating Dominic's case, and Lex knew the man's reputation and work. He was one of the best, though why he'd chosen Smallville was a mystery. Lex had had half a notion to go to Bryce himself and have his head checked out after all the concussions, but now, this took precedence.

If he'd had hair, it'd been pulled out by now. He reached out, rubbing his hand over Clark's back, and trying not to be afraid. But he didn't hide it; he let himself feel it, no matter how hard he tried not to, because Dominic... well, Lex didn't follow the train of thought any further than that, but it didn't change his feelings about the other man.

Clark glanced up, absently, as the doctor Lex had been thinking about, Bryce, walked off down the hall. Lionel looked so... Clark rose from his chair, gently touching Lex's shoulder, before he wrapped his arms around Lionel's stiff form tightly, and hugged him close to his chest. He kissed the side of his head and held him close, hugging tightly yet gently. "Hey, Lionel. What did the doctor say? Is the infection clearing up?"

Lionel returned the embrace quickly, then stepped out of it. "No, it isn't. They're moving up to a more aggressive antibiotic, which they were reluctant to do because of the stress it's going to be putting on his system. But it's gotten to the point where the infection is more of a danger than the stronger medication."

Clark nodded, letting him go when Lionel let go just as quickly, and swallowed as his eyes traveled to the room quietly. He hadn't seen Dominic in five days.

Fuck.

He looked at Lex, then across at Lionel. "I'll sit with him for a while. Go get something to drink, okay?"

Lex got to his feet. "Come on, Dad. Let's go down to the cafeteria. It's not the best food in the world, but you haven't eaten since breakfast and you need to."

"Alexander, leave me be. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself," Lionel answered regally.

"Then stop being a stubborn pain in my ass, and come have lunch with me," Lex replied back, just as reasonably.

Lionel pondered. It would cause more of a scene--and waste more time that he could be spending with Dominic--if he kept refusing. On the other hand, he could eat, be done with it in moments, and return here. "Very well. Let's go." Lionel looked over at Clark. "You'll call me if anything changes?"

"Of course. I'll...tell Lex." He knew Lionel understood what he spoke of, and without anything else said, he turned to the room and opened the door.

It was dead silent inside. Dark...the drapes were carefully gathered, to minimize sunlight and irritation on the single occupant of the room. Machines beeped, tubes fed.

Dominic looked worse than Clark could have ever mentioned, and his throat viced closed.

He was silent, unmoving but for the quiet rise and fall of his chest. The hackjob the nurses had done to his hair was absolutely breathtaking, and Clark clamped on the spurt of anger. They'd shaved it all off. All of it. There was stubble growing, pale against the almost translucent shade of his skin, and Clark grit his teeth tightly as he walked forward.

He was lightly covered in a single blanket. To keep infection down, the doctor had said. Lionel's roars still echoed through his head at the memory of how completely he'd gone off on the nurses and staff taking care of Dominic, for leaving his lover with a thin blanket against what had to be a room that was at least fifty below zero.

Infection. Infection.

The burr holes had been covered, gauze covering his scalp in a slightly crooked manner. His eyes were black bruises in his face, and there was dried blood on his skin, along with iodine and god knew what else. Clark took in the taped electrodes on his chest, his hands, both threaded with IV's, and Clark was sure more were in his legs, so he was very careful when he sat down next to him, and took the same hand he had seen Lionel holding.

Shit.

Shayla poked her head in the door, just enough to see that Clark was in there instead of Lionel, and she sidled into the room. "He'd be having a cow if he knew about this," she said softly. She'd cut the last of her classes that day to come over here earlier, but now it was after school, and she was back again. "He hates this place."

Clark looked up, quietly. "Hey, Shay." Nothing else said, as he rose from the chair and offered it to Shay. She was family more than he was, after all, even if he was reluctant to let go of his hand. He didn't say anything else for a moment, swallowing a little, before he whispered, croaking, "How was class?"

She shook her head, and stayed against the wall. "Don't know. The ones I didn't cut, I totally zoned out on. But Chloe's taking notes for me, and so's Pete, and he's helping me do my homework too." The help consisted, basically, of him telling her what to write and her writing it.

"Yeah." He carefully set Dominic's hand back down on his side and walked towards Shay, gently. "Hey. Come here. If I can get close, so can you." And that was saying something. He carefully took her hand, because he was certain she hadn't even talked to him since the accident. "Lionel said... that the doctors want us to talk to him. Because he can maybe hear us."

She nodded. "Yeah. Heard the spiel a few days ago myself." She didn't quite fight when Clark pulled her over towards her brother, but she didn't go willingly either.

Clark was firm as he brought her over to the bed. He didn't know why, really. But he pushed her into the chair, and pulled one up beside her, the only sounds the constant beeps and the silent up and down breaths. "Its going to be okay, you know. He's really strong… he's going to be okay, Shay."

Shay brought both feet up so that she was sitting Indian style in the chair beside her brother's hospital bed. "Yeah, I know. He's going to be fine. It's just the getting there part that freaks me out sometimes."

"Why? Don't let it." Clark said softly, and even though he said it, his voice sounded hollow and really, truly without any kind of meaning. His fingers gently wrapped around hers and he held her hand tenderly as he looked up at Dominic. "Its weird seeing him so... so not energetic. You know? Its almost like I've never seen him before."

"Yeah, and see, that's the thing." She squeezed Clark's hand gently. "Morgan not energetic and running around? Means Morgan is dead. And usually, that's just dead tired, and not of the good, but this? Whole other meaning to that."

"He's not going to die." Clark said firmly, quietly, even though in his spirit, deep in his heart, he wasn't so sure if he was right. He just looked so terrible, and his throat caught again. But before he could think too much about that, before it could go deeper... "How's your mom?"

"She's... dealing." Shay pulled her knees up a little and couldn't look at her brother, lying there on the bed. "I think she's waiting to crack, but won't because nobody else has yet."

"Yeah. I think everyone... everyone's waiting for Lionel." Clark murmured, as he glanced slightly at the half open door. He didn't speak, didn't say anything, as he gathered Shayla into his arms just because he could, and held her closely. "You can crack, you know."

"Yeah, I know." She snuggled into his shoulder. "I just won't do it here. Not... not where Morgan can see and Big Daddy'll flip out about it. I'm going to just... wait until I'm home, or something."

"Yeah. But hey, if you need me, you know where to find me, right? Cause I don't want you to feel like… like you can't talk to me." Quietly said, as he gently, ever so gently, kissed her hair.

"I know," she said, still snuggled up against him. "I don't feel like that. I know I can talk to you, just like I would to Morgan. It's just... I don't want to talk to anybody right now about this."

He understood. More than she knew. He had to talk to someone soon or he was going to explode, but right now, right this moment, was not it. "Hey...at least he won't complain about the weight he gained in Ireland anymore, huh?" A little smile at her. "He'll wake up soon, you know. His arm… the doctor said it was a clean yank, right out of the socket, and the tendons in his knee might need another surgery, but he's going to be okay."

She snickered. "He didn't gain that much weight anyway." Then she frowned. "Gran's champing at the bit to come. She's never left the homeland before, but she's ready to waddle across the ocean if she has to to get over here. Lionel won't send the plane yet, because he says they don't know enough to worry her yet, and don't want her to come if there's anything... well, nobody'll finish the sentence, but I'm guessing they don't want her here if there's nothing she can do but watch him die."

Shayla Senatori, the Cutter of Bullshit. Clarks heart pattered in his chest and he grasped her a little closer, tenderly hugging her close. "He's not going to die. Come on, Shay. Lionel was in a car accident and nearly got crushed, and he's okay, right? They can't catch a break. But hey, Dominic is going to be alright. You know he will."

"Yeah, I know. I'm about ready for them to catch one." She buried her face in his shoulder for a long moment. "I'd settle for my brother making it through this in one piece." Trembling little sigh. "Didn't mean to bring you down."

"I'm already down, honey. There's no further down I can be." Clark murmured, softly, as he hugged her gently. "He and Lionel have been there for Lex and me so much… the day of the accident, everything was so normal, it was all okay. But then...."  He let it peter off.  "Felicia got blood all over her dress." He whispered, quietly, and closed his eyes tightly. He didn't want to remember, he didn't want to think, he couldn't think. "When Lionel and Lex get back, maybe I'll go home and take a shower. My mom wants me to go up to the school tonight to talk to Reynolds about letting us finish the year a week early. Next week are exams, right? She and your mom are going to see if we can take them on Monday."

Shay nodded. "Yeah, that's right. I'm bettin' you guys can, but I won't, because they still haven't gotten my shit straightened out from Vancouver." She shivered. "Mom and Ms. Bird have been working on Felicia's dress, and I think they finally got all the blood out, though... I don't know if she'll ever want to wear it again. I know I don't." She'd already thrown her pink sundress in the garbage, because it had her brother's blood on it.

"The scariest part is that Lionel didn't lose it." Clark whispered, very, very softly, as he pressed his forehead against Shayla's hair. "Shay, I know him. I know him better than my own dad. When he cracks, its all going to come out in one whack, and people are going to get hurt."

She nodded. "Lindy said the same thing, that when he goes, he's takin' people with him."

He was playing, gently, with the hem of her sleeve, and he just let his eyes close as he rested there. The beeps got stuck in the background, just a little, and he listened to them, as well as the soft breathing. He could hear Dominic's heart beating, slow and steady, hear his blood as it moved, almost felt the itch and burn of infection flowing through his veins, if he concentrated hard enough.

After a minute, two, he let Shayla go and sat up just a little. "Hey, Dominic. Its Clark. I hope you're feeling a little better than before... we really want you to wake up, you know."

Shayla gave a little nod. "Yeah, it's about time to wake up too. Give 'em hell, Morg. Wake up and tell me to stop cutting class and get my skinny skittle ass back to school." She didn't realize how pleading her voice sounded.

Toni knocked, very lightly, on the door. There were fresh tears on her cheeks, though she'd done her best to clean them up before coming in, and she smiled, quietly, at the two sitting beside the bed. "Come on, Shayla. Pete's here… he's going to take you home with him, sugar."

She nodded at Toni, and looked over at Clark. "You gonna be okay here? I can stay until Lex and Lionel get back, then you can come home with Pete and me," she offered, squeezing his hand.

Clark shook his head, softly, smiling a little. "Nah. I said I'd stay here, and stay here is where I'll be. I'll see you later tonight, okay? Tell Pete I said hi."

Toni nodded, smiling a little as she offered her hand to the much smaller young lady, and motioned for her to follow.

"Okay." She looked at the bed for the first time. "Hurry up and get better, Morg." She squeezed Clark's hand again and peeled herself out of the chair, giving Toni her hand and following her out.

- = - = -

This was America. Land of the brave, land of the free. Home of freedom and liberty, home to so many people who were so different and yet joined together underneath one flag despite all of their views. It was the one place on earth where one was able  to do whatever one wanted, where you couldn't be prosecuted for being black or white, man or woman, Asian or Hispanic, gay or lesbian or straight as an arrow. It was the land of the free.

And yet Clark had never felt so trapped by his own emotions, and a situation, in his life.

Dominic hadn't woken up. This was the eleventh day. He was slipping into a coma, they said. He hadn't moved. They'd bathed him, and they'd kept his head shaved to watch the progress of the healing holes. He was half naked most of the time, the shoulders of the hospital gown down for all of the electrodes they'd hooked up everywhere. More IVs. More tubes. One in his nose. His arm was tightly bound against his chest--dislocated instead of broken, and easily the least of Dominic's injuries--and his knee was wrapped in gauze they changed everyday from the second surgery.  They were whsipering about a third.

Clark hadn't been home for more than ten minutes in all that time.

It was summer vacation already. He'd brought clothes for him and Lex and Lionel every afternoon for the past eleven days, eaten more hospital hamburgers than he ever wanted to taste, and suffered through the wait of a second surgery. He'd watched Lionel deteriorate before his eyes, in fact.

Which is one of the reasons he'd escaped and was standing in Lex's office at home, his lovers laptop and books waiting for him to take with him, his own backpack filled with CD's, drawing pads and notebooks filled with his novel. For Lionel, he was bringing more books... Lionel had taken to reading to his husband, and it did them all good, as they sat and waited. For life. For death. For something.

It was very, very sad to Clark that they had that freedom, but no way to wake Dominic up.

And here he was. In his lovers office, the phone in his hand. The answering machine was packed with messages, personal and otherwise, but Clark didn't listen to them, just searching through his lovers rolodex.

There.

He lifted the card to Elaine Nacheyez's office and dialed the number on the card.

Julie was on vacation, with her husband and their son, and the temp picked up the phone, and was smacking a piece of bubblegum as she did it. "Dr. Nacheyez's office, how can I help you?" She was typing at the keyboard as she spoke, composing a four-page email to her girlfriend Bobby about a couple of the hot girls that she had seen downstairs in the lobby at lunchtime.

"Hello. I was hoping to get in contact with Ms. Nacheyez herself, this is a little bit of an emergency. My name is Clark Kent, I'm one of Dominic Luthor's friends.." Clarks voice sounded so hollow to himself, and he realized it was from the lack of use in the last week. "Please. I really need to talk to her."

The temp flipped through the emergency list, looking for Clark's name, and didn't find it, completely missing Dominic's name because on Elaine's paperwork, he was still listed as Senatori, not Luthor. "I'm sorry, sir, your name isn't on the doctor's list. Can I take a message, and have her call you back when she gets out of her session?"

"No, please, please I need to talk to her now." Clark begged, quietly, eyes closed. "I only have a few minutes. Please, look again. Dominic Luthor. Dominic Senatori. Lionel Luthor. Please, look again. I really need to talk to her."

The temp gave a heavy, put-upon sigh, and turned to look through the list. "Oh, there you are. Dominic Senatori. Hold, please." She pressed the button that would buzz Elaine's telephone.

"... and otherwise, I suggest--" Elaine's voice was cut off by the telephone buzzer. "Excuse me, Mr. Tate, this is an emergency." She reached over and picked up the phone. "Yes, Sylvia, what is it?"

"Dominic Senatori's on the phone for you, ma'am."

She nodded. "One moment." She looked back at her other patient. "I'm sorry, Mr. Tate, but I need to take this call. If you'd like to take a break, there's coffee in the waiting room." She waited until he was gone, and then picked up the phone. "Yes, Dominic, what's wrong?"

Clark's throat tightened into a corkscrew when he heard the tender voice the woman was using, thinking it was... better not to think about it. Not now. He loosened his grip on the phone so he wouldn't crush it, and cupped it to his ear as he walked over to the bar and poured himself a scotch. "Ms. Nacheyez? Hi. This is Dominic's friend, Clark."

"Clark?" She blinked. "Yes, I'm sorry. You're his stepson's friend; he's mentioned you. I apologize for calling you Dominic; my secretary informed me he was on the phone." She curled the cord around her finger. "What can I do for you, sir?"

"Yes." Friend. Heh. He choked the sob back and closed his eyes tightly as he threw the drink back in one swallow, then poured himself another. It was kind of warm, but he couldn't find it in himself to go looking for ice. He just didn't feel like it. "Its alright. Yeah. I'm Lex's boyfriend, actually. He and his dad are going to kill me when they found out I called you, but… but I just... there's nobody else, and he won't talk, so there's just… I had to call you."

"It sounds fairly urgent, Clark, what's the matter? And, can you hold on a moment?" She slid her mouse over to the computer, and used the office messenger to buzz her secretary.

"Its urgent, yes. And yeah, I can wait." Clark murmured, his throat seemingly closing on itself as he swallowed, waiting for her as he gripped his glass tightly.

The secretary jumped as Elaine buzzed her, and the picked up the phone. "Yes?"

Elaine had put Clark on hold, and was waiting for the secretary. "Would you please tell Mr. Tate that an emergency has come up, and that we will have to continue his session tomorrow? Schedule him for the first clear morning appointment, and if we have the Luthors scheduled, take them off entirely because that's who I'm dealing with now. And I have a free hour next, but clear my afternoon appointments."

"Yes ma'am," chirped the temp, and Elaine switched back to Clark.

"I'm sorry about that, Clark, I had to see my last patient out. Now, what I can do for you?" She turned her Freecell game on Autoplay, her habit every time she was on the phone, and listened.

"Dominic is hurt. He's dying. They say he's falling into a coma, and its all bullshit, because I know he won't live if he does." Clark said very quietly, very calmly. "Lionel's losing his mind. He won't talk to anyone. He only said like, two words to me in the last four days. He won't shower, he won't eat, he's just here. Lex is going insane. We need someone who... who knows them more than I do. So I'm calling you. And you're going to kill me for it."

"No, I'm not going to kill you for it. I'm actually glad you've called me, because I've suggested to Dominic several times that he have Lex and you both come to speak with me, because he's hinted that you've had your own share of problems. However, that's beside the point right now. You did the right thing, Mr. Kent, and don't let Lionel tell you otherwise." She looked at her watch--it was fairly early in the afternoon, 1:00, and she would have been having lunch from 1:30-2:30. "I've already had my secretary clear the rest of my day in anticipation of an emergency session; are you in Smallville, or Metropolis?"

"Smallville. It's not about me though, Ms. Nacheyez. Its about Lionel. You have to come help him. He isn't resting at all." His throat tightened, and he drank down the second glass of scotch to clear it. "I can send the helicopter to you."

"That would be great, because otherwise, it's going to take me several hours to leave now, and that's just beating the quick tide of rush hour. It's... ten to one now. Let me pick up a couple of hot dogs at the vendor downstairs, and you tell me where to meet the helicopter at." She turned around in her chair as she spoke, sliding her purse over one shoulder, and picking up her briefcase with the other hand as she pulled both Luthor and Senatori case files, her prescription pad, and the other tools she'd need as she talked to Clark.

"And you, young man, keep doing exactly what you're doing. Stay calm, and keep a strong assessment of the situation going. I'll need you to meet me wherever the helicopter is landing, and you can fill me in on everything." She didn't patronize Clark; she knew never to unless she was being patronized in turn.

"Okay." Clark swallowed at the lump in his throat. "I'm calm. I think I'm the only calm one, though, Ms. Nacheyez." Another swallow, the glass on the table, and Lex's numbers pulled from his briefcase. He searched through them for a moment until he found the list of phone numbers for their personal helicoptering service, and he flipped the sheet, looking for drop offs and pick ups. "Um... it can land in the huge chopper field behind the old LuthorCorp building. I'll send it there. And it'll drop you off by the mansion. I'll be waiting for you, okay? I'm sending for the helicopter now... it'll be about ten minutes to get to you."

"Knowing Lionel the way I do? Yes, sir, I'm guessing you really are the only calm one." She smiled into the phone. "I know it sounds ridiculous right now, but don't worry. He'll crack like a walnut once I'm done with him." She scribbled down the information. "I know where that is; it's about ten minutes away by foot. I'll meet the chopper there as soon as it's down."

"Okay. See you soon, then. Thank you." Clarks voice was a croak as he cleared it, and he hung up before she could say anything else. He swallowed again, clearing it again, and dialed the helicopter service, clearing his mind and becoming as neutral and strong as possible.

"LuthorCorp Aeronautics, Helicopter Division." Chuck had been on pilot rotation for LuthorCorp for all of a month.

"Hello. This is Clark Kent. Lex Luthor requested that I call a helicopter for him, pick up point LuthorCorp Metropolis 61.23 and landing site the Luthor Mansion, Smallville, 84.19."

Chuck scanned over the flight parameters posted and checked them against the weather. "Yeah, that's doable. Tell Mr. Luthor we're gassing the chopper up now, and we'll be up in five and at the pickup point in ten." He threw a half-stale bagel at his partner, bouncing it off his head and gesturing for him to bring the fuel truck around.

"Thank you. Be as quick as possible." Clark hung up again, set the phone down before he crushed it, and squeezed his hands together as tightly as he could as he set his head to his knees, fighting for breath.

And when he found it, when he finally found it, he swallowed great deep lungful and stood up abruptly, going to go look for Ms. Bird. He stepped out of the library and went around the stairs without looking at them. Looking at them made him physically ill.

Into the kitchen... through it... and he knocked gently on Ms. Birds door.

Ms. Bird was sitting in her rocking chair, petting the small orange kitten that curled up in her lap and mewled every so often. "Come in, Clark," she said softly.

Clark walked in quietly, closing the door behind him.

He'd burst into tears before he'd taken another step and he walked towards her sobbing like a two year old, sinking at her feet and setting his head in her lap as he curled in close to the foot of her chair and shared space with the kitten.

Ms. Bird didn't say a word as she stilled her rocking, just brought her hands to gently stroke through his hair, which was losing the last shades of red that Kal had dyed into it, and gave him reassuring little touches. "Chu should not cry so," she said softly. "You will make me cry, und that is not a pretty sight."

Freddie's little paw reached out, batting at the wet stuff on the fuzzy thing's face, and then licked his cheek before giving a miserable little mewl.

Clark couldn't help it, he couldn't. He couldn't cry in front of Lex, or Lionel, or Shay or Chloe, couldn't cry in front of Graham or Toni or people who were more significant in Dominic's life than Clark. But he couldn't help it, because the pain he felt for Lionel, the sorrow he felt for seeing where this was going, feeling where it was going... and then Dominic's little cat had to mewl at him and he sobbed deeply into Ms. Bird's dress, shoulders heaving silently.

Ms. Bird didn't bother with the meaningless phrases of, it's going to be all right, or you shouldn't be upset, or even don't worry. Because to her, they were all bullshit. She had no way of guaranteeing that things were going to be all right, there was a reason to be upset, and worry was a perfectly natural reaction. Instead, she just wrapped her arms around Clark's shoulders, and hugged him tightly. "Chu know, better den anyone, how stubborn Herr Dominic is," she said softly. "He makes Lex look like dis kitten," she said, nudging Freddie gently with her elbow. "If anyone will pull t'ru this, it vill be him."

He sniffled, hard, and his voice shuddered out pitifully but he closed his eyes tightly, nodding and swallowing his sobs as his arms came around the old woman. She smelled like talcum powder and flowers, like how a granny was supposed to smell, and he held her close because he knew she wouldn't tell him crap. She was telling the truth. So he just nodded, swallowing, before he let her go to rub his face with his hands and shudder on his little choked tears.

When he let go of her, she reached into the pockets of her apron and pulled out an lace handkerchief, clean and bleached but still yellowed slightly with age, and used it to quickly wipe his face dry. "Dere. Now you look like de handsome man chu are." She gave him a little smile, and rubbed Freddie's ears again. "Have dey been starving you, Clark? Vould you like something for lunch before you go back?"

He shook his head, just grasping her fingers gently and squeezing, giving the backs of them a soft kiss, before swallowing his embarrassment at crying in front of her to rub Freddie's little head and paws, gently, stroking his soft fur as he swallowed again and shuddered out a long breath. "I'm okay. I think I'm going to take that roast you made and see if Lionel will eat it."

She gave him a half-wicked little smile. "If he doesn't, chu could alvays force-feed it to him."

Alright, at that Clark gave a shocked little laugh back. "Yeah right. It'd take all the horses of hell to do it." But he gently rubbed Freddie's velvet-soft ears, and didn't look at Ms. Bird as he spoke. "I called his therapist. She's on her way."

"Good for you," she said firmly. "Somebody needs to have a vord with him. I haven't seen him since the day of de wedding." She refused to call it the day of the accident.

"I know." Clark sighed, quietly, though he was too shy to say anything else, as he carefully stroked Freddie and rubbed behind his ears. "Are the puppies okay, Ms. Bird?"

"Dey miss you, but they are okay. They're not eating quite as much, neither is this little fellow here," she said, lifting Freddie up just a little. "But we make up for it at the nighttime. We have our treats."

"I'll spend time with them this week." Clark whispered softly, eyes closing for a moment. "I'm going to run everything to the hospital, okay? I'll be back to meet the therapist, she's landing by helicopter in the field out back. I'll come back and get her." He looked up, quietly. "Is Charlie still coming everyday like Lex told him to?"

"Yes, he is, and so are the painters and that charming Mr. Ross. Charlie is doing quite the job supervising them all, and I'm going to get them all fattened up if it kills me." She huffed. "I am holding down the fort, I think that is the term. Chu take care of the hardheads."

"Okay." Clark smiled at her, very softly, and kissed her hand again, gently. He rose from his seat on the floor, hugged her softly, and escaped before he embarrassed himself further.

He went into the kitchen and found the Tupperware in the fridge, full of roast and potatoes. He set it, and a few bottles the Starbucks coffee Lionel and Lex liked so much, into a plastic bag.

A quick pit stop in the office to get the books, laptop, and backpack and Clark was gone.

He ran as fast as he could, through the deserted streets he knew never had any occupants, sliding through trees and around barns until he came up around to the back entrance of the hospital. He slowed down immediately and crossed the street normally, bogged down with his things as he was, and entered the much quieter back entrance of the hospital. He walked around sick and coughing people and caught the elevator, going up to the fifth floor with his things.

The first thing he heard was Megan Senatori screaming.

"What the BLOODY BUGGERING HELL do you mean he hasn't woken up?!" Megan screamed it at Lionel. Her hair was a mess from dragging her fingers through it, mascara ruined, her face blotched and wet with her tears as she screamed at him. "Why did you wait to call me, why, why didn't you all come and GET me?! I was in France, you could have called, I would have been here! He's been unconscious for how long? Why didn't you CALL ME?!" She punched her fists against his chest, even as she sobbed. "You bastard!"

"Because you, my dear, are pregnant," Lionel said, calmly. His voice was nearly flat, and he made no move to strike her back, only restrain her. "Having you rush here before we knew specifics or details would have been worse for you than you simply arriving now, and seeing the situation for yourself. As it is, the health of your child should be paramount in your thoughts, as well as your brother's condition, and if you strike me again, I will ask for you to be sedated." He didn't flinch a muscle as he made the not-idle threat, but otherwise stood impassively as he stared not at her, but at some vague point over her shoulder.

"You bastard. You didn't call me here, you knew I needed to be here. He's been in there, unconscious, my twin brother for twelve fucking days and you didn't call me. You bloody animal, you terrible brute." Megan snarled at him, even as she cried all the harder, standing there in her designer jeans and pretty sweater, the most well known supermodel in the world, weeping profusely with her fiancé standing somewhere beside her. "My child has nothing to do with my brother, God, DAMN you, why didn't you let me help you?" She begged it of him, even as she looked at him in fury.

Clark winced, very quietly, and stepped around them, flinching with each shouted word as he slid back into Dominic's room. He set his satchel, the books, and the bag of food on the chair by the door, before closing said door and walking over to his lover. "Hey, baby, I'm back."

"Eleven days, eight hours, and twelve minutes," Lionel corrected. "And yes, your child has everything to do with your brother, because can you possibly imagine how upset he would be if you lost it because if your worry and upset for him? I will not allow it, and if you do not like the way that I am handling the situation, I cordially invite you to leave the hospital."

Lex looked up tiredly. "Hey, Clark." His eyes were sunken back in his head, and ringed with dark circles that looked almost like bruises. His shoulders were slumped as he leaned half against the bed, and he raised one arm to scrub across his eyes. "Tell me you brought something containing caffeine, and I'll sign over my assets this second."

Clarks lips twitched, but it was only out of habit. He set the ice cold bottle of Starbucks frappucino in his lovers hand, and set one beside Lionel's chair for when he got back from screaming at Megan. Dominic was still there, still in the same spot, though it looked like the nurses had come in to move him around and prevent bed sores. He was laying up a little higher on the bed, another pillow was behind his shoulders, and it appeared in the forty five minutes Clark had been gone, they'd given him a spongebath and changed the blankets and sheets. They usually did by this hour, almost one, and would again tonight by eight.

Clark turned his eyes from Dominic and instead let them settle on Lex, as he took the seat next to his lover and carefully drew him into his arms.

Lex leaned back into the comfortable, warm embrace of his lover's arms, and sighed. "I'm beginning to forget what sleep feels like. I have got to go home and sleep tonight, Clark," he said softly. "And so does Dad; I'm tempted to ask Anthony for a sedative, pump Dad full of it, and have you carry him home over your shoulder at this point." He looked at the frappucino bottle sitting in his hand, and he couldn't summon up the energy to open it, either physically or mentally.

"I know." Clark heard the little mental whimper because he was good like that. His fingers carefully popped the bottle open and handed it back to his lover, before sliding his arms around his waist and holding him close to his chest. "I am too." He stopped for a moment to think. "Lex? If I did something that… that would help, but you wouldn't like it… would you be okay with it?"

"Thank you." Lex lifted the bottle to his mouth and chugged half of it before answering. "Did you kill anybody?"

"No." Another little smile. "I called Elaine Nacheyez. She's going to be here in an hour."

"Dad's therapist? Good for you. Maybe she can bully him into going home. Dominic told me that the last time they went to see her, she actually hit Dad with a rolled up newspaper and all but called him a bad puppy."

"Yeah. Which is why I figured she'd help him here... Lionel's ready to fall asleep where he stands, Lex, or blow up. Just waiting for it." Clark whispered, and closed his eyes as he set his cheek on Lex's shoulder. "Did he finish the last chapter of Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea?"

"Yeah, and he started on..." Lex reached out and picked up the book. "Jesus Christ. He started, of all things, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. It's now official. Dad's lost his mind." He tossed the book back down on the bedside table, and leaned his head back against Clark's. "I'm tired, baby."

Clark couldn't help a little laugh that was more sob than anything. "Dominic was just telling me about two weeks ago that he was positive he was a crazy Gryffindor for loving an obnoxious  Slytherin." Oh, God, and he felt another sob come up but clenched it down, smiling through it as he squeezed his lovers waist gently. "I know you're tired. Tonight, come home with me, okay? We can sleep, then be here again tomorrow."

He shook his head. "I can't leave Dad here by himself. I'm just waiting for him to go Mount Saint Helens on us before long." Deep sigh. "Maybe I can sleep for a while tonight while Dad's reading." His neck popped in misery as he rolled it, and glared evilly at the reclining chair.

"Then promise me you'll at least go home and shower?" Clark whispered, softly. "And we can go get some food somewhere... bring your dad some clothes?"

Lex looked at his watch, blinked when it wouldn't come in to focus, and dropped his arm tiredly. "Shower. You mean one of those things where you crawl under a spray of hot water and get clean, right?"

"Yep. It usually removes the smell of cabbage." Clark whispered again, teasingly though, as he nuzzled his lovers neck softly. "Just think. Toothpaste. Clean clothes. More comfortable clothes, too." He hated to think it let alone say it, but he looked up, quietly, at Dominic. "He's not going anywhere, you know."

"Are you saying I smell like cabbage?" But he was too tired to even tease. "Toothpaste. Clean clothes. I know not what you speak of." He just leaned back against Clark, and let Clark have more of his weight. "Yeah. I know he's not going anywhere. And that's what scares me."

"He'll be okay. Ms. Bird said so." And those words held weight, because Ms. Bird was always right. Always. He gently stroked Lex's bare head, down his elbow, and listened as the screams in the hall stopped. "Megan was mad, huh?"

"Yeah, she was." Lex's jaw cracked as he yawned, and pulled his feet up into the chair as he snuggled against Clark. "I'm not surprised with Dad's decision, although I don't agree with it. I should have called her myself, I just... assumed he had."

Lionel came into the room a few moments later. "Clark," he said brusquely, acknowledging the young man was in the room as he settled in the chair closest to the bed. "Now... let's see... where were we, Dominic. Oh, yes. The Sorting Hat." He cleared his throat, and started back to reading, as though there'd been no interruption.

"Me too." And Clark was about to speak when Lionel walked in. He looked up quietly at him before turning his eyes to a very unconscious Dominic. Dominic, to Lionel, Lionel to Dominic, and for the first time, Clark felt that he knew how deeply these two men loved one another. He could see the terror in the lines of Lionel's face, and he squeezed Lex's hand softly as Lionel began to read aloud. He had a wonderful reading voice and often in the last ten days Clark had found himself listening to Lionel's stories with rapt attention. It almost made him forget what was happening.

Almost.

He carefully let Lex up and into his own chair again. I've got to go get Elaine. Should I bring her here?

Lex nodded. I'll go with you. "Dad, I'm going for a fresh coffee and a bathroom break."

Lionel's only response was a nod as he read, not even breaking his concentration.

A sigh. "Do you want anything?"

A shake of his head was the answer this time, and Lex just... threw up his hands. "Come on, Clark, you can at least escort me to the cafeteria."

Clark nodded, in direct difference from Lionel's shakes and stood carefully. "Yes. I will. We'll be back soon, Lionel." He'd long since learned not to touch Lionel at all, because he just got shook off, so he took Lex's hand in his own and stepped out of the room.

Megan was crying in a chair, with Philippe there next to her.

Clark stopped, only for a second, to give her a tight hug before he squeezed Lex's hand and led him away from the depression of the entire hallway.

Lex quickly gave Megan his own hug before following his lover, and dropped his forehead to rest on Clark's shoulder as he watched his feet move over the checkered floor. "If Megan doesn't kill my father, I just might."

Clark shook his head softly, smiling a little as he passed Graham by the elevator, leaned down to give a very tired Toni a kiss on the cheek, and followed on, to the elevator without saying anything else until they were firmly closed in, alone. "I'm really scared, Lex. But you know, Dom's strong. He'll pull through."

Lex paused for a moment, studying his feet before bringing his eyes up to Clark's. "I'm scared too, Clark. I'm scared of a lot of things right now. Not just Dominic, but my father too, and our friends." He rubbed gritty eyes with the heels of his hands. "But it's okay to be scared, I think."

"Yeah, it is. Its really okay. My dad... Jonathan dad... told me that once." He gently squeezed his lovers fingers. "You and I are going to go see them tonight I think, after a shower, okay?"

A tired blink. "We're going to go and see your parents?"

"Yep." A nod, as if this had been planned for weeks. "Moms been harrassing my for days to come see her, and you need the break.  Mom made pumpkin pie. We're going over there for an hour or two. Kay?"

"Okay, sure. But tell her to have coffee. A bucket of coffee, for me to dunk my head in." A little snort. "Isn't it the wrong season for pumpkin pie?" Absurd small talk that had nothing to do with anything, and that was pretty much all Lex was capable of at the moment.

"Of course it is. But I love pumpkin pie. And she's got a lot of home made ice cream, too." Clark reminded him gently, letting himself wallow in inane conversation as he led them down out of the hospital as they climbed out of the elevator. He had his fingers gently around his lovers hand, and they began out of the parking lot, crossing the street quietly.

"Home made ice cream and pumpkin pie. Hello, Americana." He felt in his pockets for the sunglasses he knew were in there, and put them on to protect his eyes from the bright glare. "I think this is the first time I've been out in daylight in a week."

"I know. You look it." Clark answered. They crossed the street into the grass... then the bushes, and Clark lifted his lover into his arms like he didn't weigh a single pound, and took off at a fast clip.

"I feel it." He curled up as Clark lifted him, like a vampire curling away from the sun, and he shared that image with his lover.

"Heh. You've been listening to your dad read Harry Potter for too long today, baby." Clark answered, as he kissed his lovers neck and shot off, leaping over fences, over cows, and only coming down when he felt gravity yanking at him, leaping over cow patties and across trees as they moved, fast as lightening.

"You can fly," Lex reminded him, snuggled tightly in Clark's arms.

"Sometimes." Clark whispered back in his ear, grasping Lex tighter as they skid around a turn. He used a tree to buoy off from before he landed and ran another hundred yards. He carefully set Lex on his feet as he came to a stop and grasped his hand tightly, running a hand through his hair as they walked around into the field where the mansion sat.

Lex just didn't have it in him to argue anymore, and he followed docilely as he shielded his eyes, looking up. "The chopper's late," he said, but just as he said it, it came into view. "It's going to land on the west side, out of the sun."

"Yep. We're gonna walk though, just in case." Clark whispered as they covered the distance easily, watching as the helicopter started its descent. He followed it with his eyes, surveying the woman through X-Ray vision as the helicopter circled... then came down, plunking easily on the cement.

 

-fin-

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