The Memoirs

Alexis was only on page fifteen of forty. She was having a very, very hard time concentrating on the packet of information and data that Hamilton had sent, because the man couldn't chart precisely if you threatened to chop off his nuts, and his sentences went on for half a page.

Sometimes, you'd never know the man was a gifted, nearly brilliant academic mind.

Not to mention, she kept getting distracted by the urge to call Chloe and tell her what Clark had done to her, so that she could get sympathy for it.

Why do I want to call and bitch about Clark? I never bitch about Clark. I never talk to people, period. Why am I suddenly wanting to call and whine?

The phone was in her hand before she knew it, dialing Chloe's cell phone and drumming her nails on the desk.

Chloe was fast asleep. She'd come over to see her dearest Shayla Love, but they'd chatted for a while, then settled down for a movie and Chloe had fallen fast asleep. When her cell phone trilled her eyes fluttered open and she groaned softly as she heaved herself up to sitting, reaching toward the side table and picking it up. She didn't bother looking at the number on the face plate as she yawned and rubbed her face. "Lo?"

"Chloe, did you know that my aushna, your friend, Clark Kent, is a complete and total jerk?"

"Is he?" Chloe said conversationally, as she lay back down, with a heaved whimper, before settling at Shay's shoulder, cheek pressed to her friend's bony arm. "What did he do, honey?"

Shay jumped guiltily, shoving the empty coke bottle under her pillow as Chloe woke up, and she rubbed her cheek against Chloe's.

"He wanted to make out, and we did, but when he tried to fuck me, he couldn't keep it up!"

Chloe's eyes widened.

And she tried, very hard, not to laugh. Oh, Clark, you poor bastard. "He couldn't keep it up, hmm? Well sweetie, I'm up in Shay's room, wanna come talk?"

"Okay, but... um... don't be surprised when you see me, all right?" She gave a shy little cough. "And you might as well explain what's going on to Shayla and do I need to bring ice cream?" All was said in a single breath and asked without batting an eyelash.

"Ice cream, nay. We've got chocolate. And alright, hon. Hurry up, I'm gonna fall asleep again."

Chloe hung up, yawned, and looked up at her friend. "Clark, Lex, Whitney and I were having sex the other day, Lex got kinky, made us all believe, through the psionic powers he has, that he's a female, and he can't turn back. He and Clark have been looking for a cure for days."

Said casually, before looking back at the TV and rubbing her aching belly.

"Okay, I'm on the way." Alexis hung up the phone, and went through the bedroom to get out to the hallway. He half expected to find Clark still sulking in bed, but the room was empty and she sniffled, changing out of her purple sweater into one of Clark's hugely-baggy t-shirts, and hurried down the hall.

Shayla just blinked. "Okay... what now? Lex... is now a girl?"

"Yep. A pretty girl, too," Chloe said back easily, as she crossed her feet at the ankle.

"A.... girl? You mean, a girl with..." She gestured vaguely at her chest, and then between her legs.

She nodded. "Big ones."

"Uh... huh. They should change the name of this fucking town to Weirdsville."

Alexis bopped into the room in time to hear that. "Believe me, Shay, the thought has crossed my mind before but I've never been able to interest anyone else in the name change." She flomped down dramatically on the foot of the bed and gingerly laid her head on Chloe's knee. "Clark's a bastard."

Chloe screamed. Loudly. "OH MY GOD! What happened to your hair?!" She shrieked, reaching out to stroke the bald head and snatching her hand back. "Oh my GOD! You're like the weird girl Phoebe's friends with now! LEX!"

Alexis bolted upright when Chloe screamed, and then when she realized what the hoopla was about, she just shrugged. "Clark couldn't keep it up for the me-me. The girl me, I mean, that I happen to be stuck as right now. So I figured that if I gave him back his Lex, as much as I could, that might help. But even so, I think the tits put him off because all he did was call me stupid for trying it and still couldn't get it up."

Shayla was just STARING. Open-mouthed, slack-jawed STARING. "Ah... uh... uh... L-Lex?"

"So you shaved your head?! Are you nuts??" Chloe demanded, glaring at him, hard. "Bring it back. Right now." She demanded, pointing at his head. "Use your powers and get your hair back. You look like a cock head with boobs. Why the hell did you shave your head for him? Two words, Lexie. Girl. Power. You're supposed to wrap men around your finger, not the other way around! Do you think I'd shave my head for Whitney?!"

Alexis just hunkered down at the foot of Shayla's bed. "Whitney's not used to you bald. See, if you did something like... well, Whitney likes dick so that won't work, but if you like, up and grew a dick or something? Then we could talk. Clark's just... assy. He can't stop thinking girl long enough to see that I'm still me, despite the tits and the temporary vagina."

"Lex, look." She sighed, glancing at Shay, who was staring, and back to Lex. "I wouldn't do anything for Whitney like that, cause he wouldn't ask it of me. I doubt Clark asked you to shave your head. He's just... honey," How to say this gently? "Clark is gay. Very, very gay. Gay. I mean, I can't believe I never noticed it before he had you. Honey, he just doesn't like boobs and vaginas. Its not his fault. Don't be angry with him cause he can't keep an erection around you."

"He didn't ask," Alexis confirmed, still scrunched against the headboard, and she picked up the first animal on the bed, a blueish-green stuffed frog and held it. "I just thought it'd make it easier for him to see Lex. Instead of Alexis."

"It didn't. Obviously. Clark's just a guy, hon. Like most guys, he's an idiot, and can't talk about what he really needs to say unless its ripped out of him. Not your fault. You didn't..." A wince. "Tease him or anything, about not being able to keep a stiffy, right?"

"Of course I did."

Chloe slapped her forehead. "Shayla, please help me."

"I'm still stuck on the part where Lex has tits," she said, shaking her head.

"Okay. Lex. Think of it like this. If he laughed at you because you couldn't get aroused, how would you feel?"

Alexis gave a little muffled noise into the frog, and stuck his tongue out at Shayla. "Yes, I have tits. Live with it." Then she turned her attention back to Chloe. "Clark always arouses me. That's never changed."

Chloe just sighed. "Lex? You're a girl now. Think with that brain. Tell me you don't realize Clarks an idiot, and is having problems."

"Clark's a huge idiot. But he's my idiot, and I love him. Even if he can't keep it hard for me." Alexis tightened her grip on the frog. "And yeah, problems? He's not the only one having them here, Chloe. At least he is the right fucking gender."

"Its a problem for the both of you. Calling his manhood into question wasn't a great idea, Lexie." Chloe glared at her, but reached out to hug her shoulders gently. "He's probably having issues. It took him a while to get hard when he had sex with me… you kind of have to nurture it. He'll be okay, just like you'll be."

She hugged back, and then laid back down on the bed. "It was horrible. It was like, he didn't want anything to do with me. He was going to get me off, like it was a chore or something, and even though I know he's had sex with you, he was going on like he didn't know how to--"

"MORE THAN I NEEDED TO KNOW HERE, PEOPLE!" Shayla finally exploded, and she trained her deadly pointer finger on Lex. "You! I don't need to know that your boyfriend is suffering erectile dysfunction!" The finger moved to Chloe. "You! I do not need to know who's fucked whom! I can't get laid for love or money and I don't need to hear about other people getting it!"

Chloe glared at her best friend until she shut her up, and then turned back to Lex, hugging her close and letting Lex rest on her leg. "He's seen me naked scads of times, honey. Not you. If I remember, the one time he and Lana made out, she took his shirt off and he lost his erection and his nerve, from what Pete's told me. It probably just scares him to hurt you... you're a tiny girl now, not a hard muscled guy. You know?"

"He's seen me naked before! He's fucked me like this before! The only difference was we were at a club and not here in the bedroom!" Alexis threw the frog down on the bed, and the little noisemaker inside it made it ribbit loudly.

Chloe looked at her, firmly. "You didn't have a vagina, now did you?"

"One time I did. Made out of foam plastic and adhered into place with the same skin adhesive that the tits are held on with," she nodded. "And that drove him nuts."

"Lex." Chloe glared her down. "You didn't have a real vagina, did you?" Totally not thinking about her ashimel and their kinky sex lives. "Games are not the same things as the real thing. Okay?"

"I DON'T HAVE A REAL VAGINA NOW!" she bellowed.

Shay just reached under the bed, bracing herself with one hand as the other went into the box under the bed and pulled out a bottle of Stolichnaya citrus vodka. "Lex, dude--ette--chill." She opened the bottle and passed it to her.

Chloe grinned across at Shay and leaned against a pillow. "To him, and to us, you do."

"No, we are NOT testing that theory!" Shayla exclaimed.

Alexis took the bottle of vodka and chugged from it, then let it rest between her legs. "It sucks. Nothing I do makes Clark want me. He can barely stand to be in the same room with me, and I just... I want him so bad I could scream with it."

"Then why don't you seduce him?" Chloe asked, raising an eyebrow down at her beloved friend.

Alexis lifted her breasts and let them fall again. "I'd say the lack of interest is pretty profound on the side of the seducee."

"You're an idiot. Lexie, Clark's a full grown, hot blooded man. You're thinking like a man... stop it. For now, anyway. Think like a woman for a sec. What would I do for Whitney? Sexy lingerie, some wine, things he likes. Its not hard, honey."

"What Clark likes? Bald head, a dick, and no tits. I'm a third of the way there, but I can tell you through experience, it ain't enough."

"OY! Stop WHINING!" Chloe finally bellowed, and thumped her friend across the arm. "You're being such a guy. Stop feeling sorry for yourself!" She pointed at Shay, and then to herself. "Don't let it get you down, come on!"

"Ow! I can't help being a guy, Chloe, because hello? first twenty three years of my life was spent with a Y chromosome and a dick!!!!" Alexis rubbed her arm. "You? Grew up this way! I haven't!"

She frowned. "Well, now you've got to think with an X and tits. So deal with it." She hefted up, feet aching but holding her weight, and her fists went to her hips. "We're going looking for him."

Alexis' eyes went huge. "We... most certainly are not."

"Oh, yes we are. You in, Shay?"

Shayla picked up the vodka bottle, and took a very deep drink. "Why the hell not? Nothing else can be any weirder." She sighed, and thunked her head on the back of Chloe's shoulder. "I'm game."

Chloe grinned and wound an arm around Shayla's waist to give her a squeezing hug, before her eyebrow cocked up at Lex. "You in?"

Alexis' eyes were still huge. "Um... no. Because I seriously doubt he wants to see me right now, and I'm not sure how much I want to see him."

"Then we'll go looking for him alone, and tell him to come find you," Chloe said innocently.

"NO!!!!" She shot to her feet. "I'll hide!"

"Kay. Lex? If you don't get a grip on yourself? I'm gonna have to smack you. Because you? Are acting like a princess, and I hate that. So, either get it together, or get smacked, mmkay?" Shayla dragged her fingers through her hair, and dusted off the few strands that fell to the floor.

Chloe nodded her affirmation. "Gotta agree with the Shay. You're a twenty three year old, Lex, act like it. We girls aren't that stereotypical." She made a face at Alexis, then motioned Shay on. "Clark hunting, then?"

"I am acting like it!" Didn't mention that she was, in fact, the Luthor Princess, because she figured that would have been very damaging to her case. "Don't bother Clark! He'll... he'll... he'll find me when he's ready!"

"He's your aushna--you know better than me that he's off sulking somewhere." Chloe said, all too sweetly, before turning, pushing into her sandals, and walked out the door with Shay in tow.

"Yes he is!" Alexis hurried out the door after them, clinging to Chloe's other arm. "He's sulking and he's ticked off and he's hurt, and don't bother him!"

"LEX!!" Shay bellowed, and popped her across the back of the head. "Chill. Out. Calm down. Right now. Christ on a fucking crutch, woman!"

"You were just like that when I first met you," Chloe whispered to Shayla, but grinned to show she was joking before schooling her features and scowling. "He's my ashimel. I'll go looking for him if I damn well please."

"I was not!" she shrieked.

Alexis dug her heels in as she grabbed Chloe's arm. "No, please, just... let him sulk. He's sulking. He'll be okay."

"Oh, really? He'll be okay? After his aushna', who he loves, said terrible things about his manhood?" Chloe glared. "I have no pity for you, baldy. Come on, Shay." She marched down the steps, ignoring Alexis's tugging and Shay's shrieks. She was a woman on a mission.

She stopped as soon as they got downstairs and spilled into the kitchen. "Ms. Bird?" She asked, of the woman standing before the stove. "Where's Clark?"

And that is exactly what Alexis was terrified of, even though she wasn't saying it. She was terrified to her soul that Clark hated her now and wouldn't ever want to be around her, even when she got back to Lex like she was supposed to be.

Ms. Bird chuckled softly at the picture the three of them made, and if she noticed that Lex was wearing falsies under Clark's t-shirt, she was too nice to question it. "He said somethink about goink for a svim," she said, using the wooden spoon to point towards the hallway that lead down to the conservatory and through it, to the pool.

"Okay! Thanks!" Chloe answered, and taking her friends' hands again, dragged them with her toward the door and out. She stalked, all the way down the hall, then to the large wooden door, which she tugged open. The sound of water splashing was immediately evident of who was in here, but as she dragged Lex and Shayla in, it took her a moment to realize, yes, it was Clark.

Clark, in a tiny, skimpy excuse for a swim suit, doing laps across the pool, sunlight from the enormous, windowed walls making the bronze heat of his back all too delightful. The warmth of the day made the room positively sinful, and Chloe watched, delighted, as her ashimel swam.

"That... is definitely more of Clark than I've seen in... well, since we stripped him down to his undies to try on the clothes we got him," Shayla commented. The water was rippling around Clark's torso, sheeting down his shoulders and arms as he swam, and she just shook her head. "He could give Morgan a run for his money, and he was Olympic caliber in his day, so I'm told."

Alexis was still hiding behind Chloe and Shayla, but her view of Clark wasn't obstructed at all. She couldn't stop the little gasp at seeing him like this, and a little growl of jealousy as Shayla openly admired Clark's assets too.

"Oh, shut up, Lexie, he's a hunk," Chloe scolded, before she rose her voice. "Hey! Clark!"

She couldn't help giggling when Clark looked up at the same moment he did a stroke, and nearly drowned himself.

Clark sputtered, coughed, and rubbed the hair from his eyes as he looked up at the three girls standing there. Including his aushna'. He looked away as soon as he realized it was her, and cleared his throat. "Hey. You guys coming to swim?"

At the look away, Alexis sort of deflated a little, and started slinking silently towards the door.

Shay looked at her very pregnant best friend, and then Lex creeping out of the pool house. "Um... sure, why not? Let me change, and I'll be right in."

"Oh no, you don't," Chloe snapped, and grabbed Alexis before she could slide away, before raising her voice. "Are all the suits still in the locker room, Clark?"

"Yeah," Clark answered, almost shyly, before turning and starting to lap again, disappearing under the water.

"Oh yes I do," she hissed back. "I've got nearly thirty pages of stats and data to finish re-charting from Hamilton's latest study!" She tried to wrench out of Chloe's strong grip, but she couldn't quite get her release.

Shayla was already in the pool house, changing quickly into the bright pink bikini she'd gotten earlier in the season. She had a brief moment of panic over how much of her ribs were poking through her skin, but by the time Lex and Chloe came in, Shayla had already dove into the water, safe under it's cover.

Clark waded, quietly, and spoke up as he saw Alexis and Chloe arguing viciously to one another. "Are you going to come in, Lex?" he asked, quietly, trying not to look at the bald head as he looked into her face, and something gave out in his belly as he watched.

"I... don't know," she answered truthfully. "I haven't decided yet." She dropped her eyes down when she saw that he was trying not to look at her.

His throat closed, like he'd just swallowed something he was allergic to, and he ducked under the water so she wouldn't see how hurt he was at the answer. He swam to the bottom of the pool to retrieve the goggles he'd dropped, and came back up, setting them on the side of the pool before swimming on.

Alexis bit her trembling lower lip, and backed away from the edge of the pool, and Chloe's grip. "I shouldn't have come with you."

"Lex, I swear, if you don't talk to him, I'm never talking to you again," Chloe threatened, glaring darkly, teeth bared. "Go!" She gave her a shove toward the pool.

Alexis wasn't used to being pushed, especially with her cleavage setting her off-balance and changing her center of gravity. Her arms pinwheeled once as she tried to re-balance herself, and then hit the water with a splash.

She surfaced almost immediately, spitting and choking water as it streamed into her eyes and she wiped them dry. "Chloe Dawn Sullivan, you are so lucky you're pregnant!" she yelled.

Clark watched as Lex was pushed in, glancing at Chloe's self serving smirk, and waded over to where Lex was spluttering, and offered his hand. "Need help?" he asked, gnawing on his lower lip tightly.

"Thanks," she said softly, taking Clark's hand and righting herself in the water, treading with her arms and her feet as she looked at her aushna'.

"Mmhmm." He didn't let go when she didn't let him go, and held her hand softly, looking shyly down at them swimming, as Chloe ambled off to the locker room in the corner of his vision. "Where did you go?"

"To the puppies' room, where my laptop was set up. Dr. Hamilton, he sent me a report on how the meteor rocks affect humans, cause the mutations and whatever, and I've been trying to work through that and re-chart his data comprehensibly, because he just... isn't. Comprehendible, I mean."

"Oh. I missed you," Clark answered, swallowing hard. "I'm… I'm really sorry. About before."

Alexis swallowed too, still looking down at their feet moving in the water. "It's... it's not your fault that you can't... that girls don't do it for you," she finally said. "I shouldn't have said those things. I'm sorry."

A hot blush rose in his cheeks that mortified him, so he kept his eyes downward, quietly, swallowing softly a little but otherwise not saying anything for a few minutes as he worked through that. "I'm sorry. Really," he answered, and looked up under his lashes.

"It's okay," she said again. "It isn't your fault." And when he looked up, she strived to give him a tiny smile.

Clark met the tiny look with one of his own, the blush glowing hot on his cheek bones. "I love you," he said softy, reaching up to gently stroke the side of a bald head. "No matter what."

Alexis shivered as Clark's wet fingers trailed over her bare head. "I love you too, Clark. It's just... hard for me. To get used to this."

"It won't be for much longer… we'll get it fixed. Promise. Your aushna' always comes through, doesn't he?" Clark asked, softly, as he hoped the little shiver had promised, he leaned forward and brushed his mouth across Lex's.

Alexis brought one hand up to cup Clark's cheek gently and hold him in place as she kissed him back. "He does. My aushna' always comes through for me."

"I promise you, this time, it will all be okay. I promise. I love you so much, Alexis. Lex," Clark murmured, and kissed her again, and once more, before winding his arms around her shoulders and hugging her close.

Alexis wrapped her arms tightly around Clark, letting him hold her tightly and her head laid on his shoulder. "I love you, Clark. I trust you. You'll help me make it all okay."

"You know that I would never want to make you feel bad, right? And that I love you, and that I really am sorry I couldn't make you feel good?" He tipped his head to look at her, as he gently peppered another few, gentle kisses on her temple and nose.

"I know." She closed her eyes with a little smile, and let the soft kisses soothe her. "I love you, Clark. I shouldn't have... I shouldn't have said. Those things that I said. I'm sorry." She gave Clark her own tentative little kisses, on his cheeks and chin, forehead and nose. "It's okay. I do understand."

He nodded, swallowing a little and giving her another very gentle kiss to the throat, before holding her close. "Well, want to go get changed, and come swim with me?"

She looked down at herself, soaking wet flannel and t-shirt clinging to her, and wrinkled her nose at the slacks dragging her down. "How about you help me out of the pants and the flannel, and I think I'm good to go in a t-shirt and panties."

"Okey." He grinned at her, softly, and reached down to unzip and unbutton the pants, which he was so used to doing. He undid the belt too, took a breath, and ducked underwater to pull and tug the pants down. He gave Lex's thighs gentle kisses as he did it, underwater as he was, and pulled the slacks off entirely. He resurfaced and tossed them to the side of the pool, smiling at her as he blew out a breath.

Alexis shivered again at the soft kisses to her thighs, and as Clark surfaced and tossed her pants to the side, Alexis wormed out of his flannel shirt and tossed it to the side too, letting it land with a wet smack on the floor outside the pool as she shyly returned the smile.

Chloe? Chloe was grinning. She'd gotten into her one piece black suit and was currently wading into the water, the weight off her feet glorious and she sighed. "Oh. My aching toes!" She cried to Shayla, as she swam in easily.

Shay had just been hovering in the back corner, ready to intercede if necessary, but grinned as her friend waded in. "Poor little toesies. Bet they feel good now!" She snickered as she floated towards Chloe.

Alexis just stayed closer to Clark, pressed tightly to his side with a shy little smile still on her lips.

"God, yes!" Chloe beamed, as she pushed against the water doggie style, and swam over to her friend. "Knew it'd only take them a few words to be happy again. See?" She grinned at them, then reached her friend and took her arm in her own for a sideways hug.

Clark smiled himself, murmuring quiet, gentle loving words in her ear as he stroked her back softly, letting her head fall into the crook of his neck.

Shayla hugged back carefully, beaming at the two of them back together again. "He's a better man than I am if he can handle her princessness," she said with a little snort.

Alexis blushed softly at some of the things Clark whispered in her ear, and she settled her head against his shoulder, sliding an arm around his waist and holding tight.

Clark glanced up as Shayla and Chloe whispered together and blushed softly, turning his back to them and wading out a little further, Lex tucked into his embrace.

"The only thing different are a pair of boobs, Shay. That's still Lex." Chloe smirked. "Just like he'd act if he had no inhibitions and no testosterone there keeping him semi-coherent and nice. Weird, huh?" Another grin.

Alexis stuck her tongue out at Chloe and Shayla and let Clark pull her further out, wrapping her legs around his waist to cut down on water resistance as he towed her out.

Shay snickered at the stuck-out tongue. "It's very... very frightening, actually," she said as she made a face. "It's very scary to think of testosterone as a good thing. But in Lex's case? If it's the only thing keeping him from being a queen all the time? Yeeah. I'm all for the T."

"You mean to say he's not a queen all the time?" Chloe teased, as she hugged her friend. "We rock, you know. Hey, tomorrow, by the way? Are you still coming over to help me finish up the nursery? I've got like, six weeks until I'm due, and I swear, I feel like a house. I can't do it alone."

"Yeah, we do rock." And Shayla made a little 'ooo' noise. "Oooh. Yeah. Of course I'm there. I'll even bring some CDs, and we can get down to some good music, and not that crap that Whitney listens to. Do you guys have a copy of the Talon Mix, by the way? I finally gave in and bought one, but I kinda lost it somewhere in my room."

"Are you joking? I've got a box of them in storage, after Pete decided he wasn't gonna be Lana's advertising campaign. You can have as many as you want." She grinned, then. "She almost made Whitney sell them too, but he put his foot down. I'm sure she's turning in her grave, imagining him and me together and having a family." Surprisingly enough, she didn't sound upset by the notion, just swimming on with Shay close by, in case she got too tired and couldn't hold herself above water.

Shayla nearly drowned herself laughing at that. "She was making Pete be her salesman?" Her eyes were huge as she resurfaced, grinning. "And you know, she can turn in it all she wants to. You guys deserve to be together. You really do. You're cute together, and you're good for the big guy. He's not nearly as clunky-acting when he's around you as he is when he's by himself, so anyone that doesn't like it can kiss my twat."

"Oh, she made Pete sell tons of them. It's how he managed to get his own letterman jacket--he just went and bought his own. Said he deserved it for dealing with her for a month and a half," Chloe giggled, loudly, as she did the back stroke across the pool. "Whitney made a ton of excuses, before just flat out telling her no."

Shayla snickered. "Oh my God. Poor Pete. Poor Whitney. I feel so bad for the lug now. Having to tell his girlfriend-of-the-moment no." She stroked over with her friend, still grinning. "It's not that bad a CD."

Chloe stared at her friend. "I'm going to pretend you just didn't say that. It's a horrible CD. Alt crap and mushy. Lana put it together… it's like a homage to her and Clark's Eternal Wuv. it's disgusting! She said she wanted to see if he'd get the message." Chloe turned her eyes to where Clark and Lex were trading kisses. "He didn't get the message."

Shayla just died laughing again, but then she turned a serious look towards Clark and Lex. "Yeah, I don't think he did. Well... if he did, he took the message to the wrong person then." Another little snicker. "The more I hear about this girl? The gladder I am I didn't know her. I have a feeling I'd have hated her and she probably wouldn't have liked me very much either."

Chloe just grinned. "Nah, at that point, Clark was falling bad for Lex. Now that I can see it from all angles, it was so obvious. He was spending all his time here with him, and when Lex was dating that woman, Victoria Hardwick, Clark was so jealous. I wish you could have seen him, he was skulking around like Christmas had come early and he hadn't gotten one present."

"Him? Skulk?" Her eyes widened. "Is this where you tell me the tulip story again, about how Clark brought tulips to Lex's ass? Cause I've heard Pete talk about it, but you know how he is about Lex, I ask and he clams right up."

Chloe grinned. Just grinned. "Clark brought Lex all kinds of things. Fresh fruit, flowers, little tokens. The tulips was pretty cute...apparently, Lex had lost his watch, and when Clark came in he saw Lex... well... on his hands and knees with his butt in the air, looking under the couch. Clark told me he froze up like day old beans, couldn't even move, and nearly dropped the flowers on Lex's head." She giggled behind one hand.

"Holy shit. I'm surprised Clark didn't cream his boxers right then and there, all denial aside." She snuck another look. "No wonder Lex has a habit of buying Clark little presents, if Clark did it to him first."

"Oh, he bought Lex tons of things he didn't tell me about until later. He used to bring him coffee, and all kinds of other little treats. He was already courting him, and I think in a way, Lex knew it. They'd spend a lot of time together, and right before they started dating, they were inseparable. I mean, Clark was at the mansion twenty four seven. Watching TV with Lex, talking with Lex, playing pool with Lex. Then, the night before it all blew up, he spent the night at the mansion, having a movie marathon, and from what Clark's told me, the sparks flew. The next day, Clark ditched class and spent the day in bed with Lex."

Shayla's eyes all but bulged out of the sockets. "He ditched class to be with Lex? That's so.... romantic!!!!" Little sigh, and she looked at the two of them together again. "Poor Clark, he's really had it bad for Lex all along, hasn't he?"

Chloe grinned, and nodded. "Ditched class. Came back in the afternoon, looking rumpled and guilty as hell, kind of dreamy too, and that's when I caught him and Lex, after school, making out by the soda machines. I? was devastated."

"YOU CAUGHT THEM MAKING OUT BY THE SODA MACHINES!!!" She couldn't help screeching it, then clapped a hand over her mouth and glared. "You never dished me that before!!"

Chloe grinned. Broadly. "Doing a little more then making out, if I remember right. I cried for two days over it, cause I was still holding out hope Clark and I would date again."

Suspicious glance at her best friend. "Dish. Right now. Including how Whitney swooped in and took away all the misery."

Chloe blushed. "Clark and I used to date. For like, four months. He was still confused, over Lana and me, and little did I know, Lex. he moped a lot. He took me to the Spring Fling, and ditched me halfway through, but that's because we had the tornados I told you about, and he saved Lana's life after she got sucked into one in her truck. We broke up like, a day after that, but it was kind of an accident… I was all, "Its better off if we're friends", thinking he wouldn't agree, but..." She sighed. "Whitney and I were already becoming friends by the beginning of last year, and he asked me out on a friend date. Which turned out to be Italian food, feeding the ducks on the lake, making out." She grinned.

"A friends date, huh?' She gently elbowed her friend, and shot a dark glare at Clark. "Boy was confused. Not one but two girls and guy on the string. If he wasn't so happy with Lex, I'd slap him upside the head for crappin' on you like that."

"I had an inkling by then that something was wrong. He was staring way too much at Lex, and had long since stopped checking out boobs. I thought maybe I was just mistaken, that Clark was just an idiot, but," She shook her head. "He's a sweet guy. A really sweet guy. He can't help it that he's dumb."

A muffled snort that Shayla almost choked on. "He's really cute though, so that makes up for it."

"Isn't he?" Chloe glanced over at him, where he was nuzzling Lex's throat to make her laugh.

"Yeah, he really is." Little sigh as she watched them together.

Alexis did laugh at the ticklish little nuzzle, and her arms were wrapped around Clark's neck as she giggled.

"Shay, I've got to tell you though," Chloe murmured, glancing at them as she and Shay swam. "If Lex doesn't become himself again, I don't know what's going to happen. Clark's... he's feisty. I've never heard of him ever having a problem getting hard--usually, he's hard when he's not supposed to be. Boy is bursting with testosterone, you know?"

Shay just nodded. "Yeah. I got that. I mean, I came on him and Lex doing the naughty in the hallway in front of my bedroom, right around the time of Clark's birthday party we threw. I kinda figured out then he had a problem keeping it in Lex's pants."

She nodded. "Exactly. So you can't know how weird it is to see him unable to."

Shay shook her head. "No, not really. It's just... the weirdness factor for me is the whole Lex is a girl thing, not the Clark can't get it up for a girl thing."

Chloe tipped her head, then. "You know, its not that strange for me? Oh, Shay, help me, will you? My legs are about to give out." She grasped her friends hand so she wouldn't sink.

"Yeeps!" Shay was going right down with her, until she took a deep breath and kicked forward. "There's benches here for Morgan. Have a seat, and I'll get Clark to help me lift you out, kay?" She was kicking as hard as she could, and barely getting them steered in the right direction.

Clark almost smelled that something was wrong, and he lifted his head from Lex's neck, and looked across. "Oh." He quickly let go of his aushna' and swam over, carefully snagging Chloe around the middle with one arm. "What did the doctor say about not overdoing yourself, ashikana?" Clark asked, eyebrow raised as he paddled her and Shay over to the side of the pool, lifting and depositing them on the edge of it so only their legs were still in. He was disconcerted by the ribs he could count, poking out of Shay's belly, but he didn't say anything, just shaking his head as he rubbed Chloe's covered belly and gave it a kiss. "That's my shiena'le in there."

Alexis paddled over towards them, following Clark's faster stroke with a slower one of her own, glaring at Shayla and Chloe. "You two should be more careful! What if you got hurt? That's going to be my little nephew by proxy in there, and if you teach him to call me uncle AJ, I'll have to hurt you." She shook her finger at them both.

Shayla panted softly. "Thanks," she said with a wry grin. "Guess I'm not quite as strong as I thought."

"No, you're not," He pointedly glanced at her ribs, eyebrow raised suspiciously, before smiling up at the panting Chloe. "You guys can go, if you like. Lex and I will be alright here."

She just shrugged off the glare as she wrapped her arm around Chloe's shoulder. "You want to rest here a bit and then head back to my room for a nap?" And a one-person Twinkie pig-out, she added silently.

Chloe sighed, deeply, and nodded as she rubbed her aching belly. "John likes to swim, but Jesus Christ, he's like a little Olympic guy in my stomach. Oy. when he starts to kicking, it poops me out. Sorry about that, Clark."

"No problem." He smiled up at her.

Shayla just petted Chloe's shoulder. "It's okay. Come on. You just rest here, and I'll help you up when you're ready." She laid her head on Chloe's shoulder.

Alexis glared. "You two be more careful!"

 

-fin-

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