The Memoirs

Clark shook his head at his lover, just a little, and reached back to feel the stitches along his back with a slight shake of his head. "Its not worth living. I see that now, Lex. And I don’t mean to be dramatic over it, because its not about being dramatic. Its just... it hurts so much. There shouldn’t have to be pain like this, Lex. People weren’t meant to felt pain like that."

Lex squeezed Clark harder. "Don't you ever say that, Clark. Never again. It is worth living because of us. You said yourself once, the love of aushna' is something rare, almost never found, and you can't throw us away like that. No. God in Heaven, no. We shouldn't have to feel pain like this. No parent should have to bury a child. Ever. But we're not the first parents to do it." A hard stab as he remembered his baby brother. "Nor will we be the last. We have to survive this together, Clark. We have to survive it together, or neither one of us will."

"I know." Clark whispered, softly. "I know. I’m trying to be brave. But its just so useless, Lex. No matter what, people will die. No matter my powers, people will die. And there’s nothing I can do, there’s nothing I could have DONE."

"That's right," Lex said softly. "There isn't. People die, Clark. Whether you're you, or Batman and Robin, or a paramedic answering a call. You can't save the world Clark. You'll end up with a messiah complex and a lot of enemies. I told you that once, and I'll say it again. You can't save everyone, Clark." He wrapped his body around Clark, as close as he could get. "You can't. And you can't suffer like this for everyone. Mar-El is different; he's our son, our blood, but nobody could have done anything to save him. Clark, please... don't destroy yourself over this."

"People will just die. Over, and over, and over. People will die and I should have saved our son. I save you, I save my parents, I saved Chloe and Pete and I tried to save Lana, even when it was too late for her. Over and over and over, and its useless, because the ONE time I needed to save someone... and I couldn’t. I was letting myself bleed to death and my child was attached to me, attached to my inside me, and I couldn’t save him. I felt him die. I have to suffer, Lex, I have to suffer because I let my child die."

Oh, Lex ached. "You didn't let him die, Clark," Lex rasped out softly. "You didn't. You didn't let him die; you did everything you could to stop it. You couldn't give him lungs. God knows... I would have if I could, but not even I could build or create anything in those few precious minutes we had with him that would have helped him. If you let him die, then I'm just as guilty as you."

"I can create miracles. You said it yourself... your dad said it. I can do miracles. But I was out of miracles when I saw him squirming in my arms, watched his eyes open and he....he never cried. We never heard the sound of our child’s voice." He shook his head softly. Clark turned a little, on his side, facing away from his lover even as he was nestled close. "I want to sleep."

Lex stroked Clark's shoulders. "You can do miracles. But not even Clark Kent can do everything." He pulled the blanket over Clark, and pulled him close, forming their bodies together. "Promise me you will wake up."

"I'll try." Clark said quietly. "For you. You are my bright light. You keep me alive. Don’t be scared of that, please." He whispered… then gasped and groaned when Lex got too close. "Being human...it hurts." Clark moaned quietly, squirming away just a little. "Does it hurt like this all the time? My skin feels too tight… I have splotches and… and zits. I don’t like it."

"I'm not scared of it, Clark. I embrace it. Anything... anything to keep you with me." He pulled away, just enough so that he wasn't hurting his lover. "Not all the time, but yes, when you're injured it does hurt." He put his hand on Clark's chest. "You can take them back, and it'll all be gone. The physical pain, I mean."

"No." He said it so fast it overlapped with the last of his lovers words. "No. The pain... it reminds. Its a good reminder. It hurts, and its real. It just won't go away. I’m... I’m sorry, for being selfish. For hurting you."

Lex shook his head. "Don't be sorry. Just... promise you'll wake up. Promise you won't leave me."

"I won’t leave you." Clark whispered. "You are my aushna'. I could never leave you. You are the love of my life." Clark said quietly, rearranging his legs and closing his eyes. Opened them. "Is there juice left?"

"There is; there's about half a gallon left from what Chloe brought up, and she and Whitney are out buying more as we speak." He stroked Clark's shoulder. "Do you want some more?"

"Please." He turned and sat up again, though he leaned against the pillows as he did it, and nodded again. "Its good." He brought his blankets up again, and admitted something quietly. "Do you feel very exposed?"

Lex nodded as he got up, walking around the bed instead of crawling over his injured lover. "Like every single person in the world can see every single thing about me," he agreed. His hands shook just a little as he filled the glass for his beloved. "Like too many people have seen."

"Your dad saw me naked." The words made a hard flush hit his cheeks. "Bruce and Dick, they saw me bleed, and they saw you cry. Chloe and Whitney know. Ms. Bird. Too many people, Lex. Its so private, but... but not. I hate it.

Lex's teeth gritted at that as he handed the glass over. "I don't like that he did, Clark. I don't like that everyone saw you naked and exposed. And I'm sorry that I couldn't stop it." He sat in Chloe's chair, dragging it over to the bedside and putting his head on Clark’s stomach, looking up at his lover. "I'm sorry."

"He helped me." A soft nod. "Your dad... is a good man. He is a very good man. He helped me, when I was too hurt, when I couldn’t breathe. He and Mr. Dominic. They helped me." Clark softened, a lot. "Bruce helped you. I saw him. I don’t think I hate him anymore, Lex."

Lex reached out, brought one of Clark's hands to rest on his head, needing the contact. "I think this is hard on Dad because of Julian. I think it reminds him of things he'd rather not be reminded of. But it's good he is helping you." He closed his eyes. "Bruce did help me. And I think I hurt his feelings." But then he opened them again. "I'm glad you don't hate him, Clark. He helped us both."

"He's a good man. Even though he tried to take you away, he's a good man." Clark nodded it, forgiveness in his heart for the man as he rubbed his fingers over Lex's forehead. "When its better we'll be able to tell them thank you."

"Bruce is a good man." Lex's arms slipped around Clark's waist. "He'll never be able to take me away from you, ever."

Clark nodded, just a little. His fingers dropped from Lex's head as his lover stroked right below the line of stitches, and his eyes closed. A reminder, for the rest of his life. "He loves you. I..." Clark looked away. "I’m jealous, sometimes."

"You don't have to be jealous, Clark." He stroked Clark's back, then brought a hand up so he could make Clark look at him. "Bruce is my friend, but you are my aushna'."

"I know. I don’t mean to be." Clark said softly, glancing at his lover before away, out the window. His expression was of dead acceptance. Not sad, or angry. just grief, and a numbing sort of relief. "I just am. You and he have a very special awershike'."

"But it's not as strong as what I have with you, Clark. Please... believe me on that. Bruce will always be my friend, because of our history together, but I will never love him the way that I love you."

"I know." Low murmur, and with a small shift, Clark brought Lex's palm up, over the ragged flesh. The touch stung, but he needed his lover to know. "I love you enough to have children with you. And you love me enough to give them to me. I love you, so much." Clark’s eyes fell to half mast, staring dully out the window. "I don’t know who I am anymore."

Lex pressed his palm gently, soothingly over the gash. "I'd take this pain from you if I could," Lex said softly, resting his head against Clark. "I know who you are to me; you are my best friend, my lover, my mate. You are Kal-El with Oakenepel, you are Clark with Lex."

"I don’t fit in anymore." His head shook slowly, softly. School? He didn’t fit there. His friends? No. He knew he fit with Lex, but how? When? What? He didn’t know. All he did know was that he'd had a great loss, and he felt so..."Old."

"Old?" He stroked Clark's chest with his hand. "You're not old, Clark. You're almost seventeen, you're still young. You've--Christ." He swallowed hard. "We've both seen... far more than we ever should have had to. I know... I know how you feel, but you can't ever lose sight of who you are and what you mean to me." Everything Lex said felt so... inadequate at the task of consoling his beloved.

"I can’t relate to them anymore." Another shake of his head. He'd been feeling so inadequate for so long, and now, when God had given him this great task...he'd failed. Completely. His son was dead, his innocence ripped away, and all he had left was Lex. He didn’t even have himself. So he just closed his eyes, and willed himself to sleep. "I love you, Lex."

"I love you, Clark." He cradled Clark against him, wrapping his arms around Clark's waist. He wanted so much to help. He wanted to make his lover all better, and he couldn't. His cheek rested on Clark's shoulder. "I love you, baby."

"I’m so tired." Clark said very softly. He closed his eyes and shifted, just a little bit, pain spiking up his back as he pressed close to his lover. It was constant thrum up and down is spine, and for the first time he knew how very delicate human flesh was. How run down he felt, even after bursts of energy. "How do you live like this?"

Lex shrugged. "I don't know the answer; I've never thought about it. You just... do. You learn as you grow up that there are things you can't do because they hurt, and because they can hurt other people. You just... you live the best you can."

"Its... hard." Clark said softly. "When I was... when Eric took my powers on accident, it was like this. Just... it wasn’t so much." Clark said softly, gazing out the window past his lovers shoulder. "Is numbing."

"I know it's hard, baby." Lex tried to give some of the brittle strength he was holding onto to his lover. "But if anybody can do this, you can. You... you are stronger than I ever was. Please, baby... be strong. Live."

Clark suddenly jerked, and gazed up at his lover. Fear, horror, and an almost… strange kind of question as he looked at him, studying Lex's face for a long moment. "What....what came out of your mouth?"

Lex blinked. "Ice."

"Ice? H...how?"

"I don't know. I just... the heat vision went off first; I couldn't control it. It ignited a trash can in the lab, that Dominic had poured alcohol in; he was burning things. The trash can exploded, and I had to do something. My mouth was feeling funny, then suddenly... it was like the air was being sucked out of my lungs, like a fire extinguisher, and it... froze everything."

Clark closed his eyes tightly for just a long moment. He was such a freak. How could Lex love such a freak? Christ, and God. He didn’t say anything, just nodding a fraction as he pressed his face into Lex's neck and let his muscles go lax. "I'll take them back soon. Just not yet... its so selfish of me. Can... can you handle them?"

Lex nodded. "I can handle them." He wrapped his fingers through Clark's, squeezing gently. "You're not a freak. I can feel it in your head, thinking that, and you're not a freak."

"Will you go with me to see the space ship today?" Clark asked. He was feeling scattered, and had the worst case of what he guessed was cabin fever. He was a boy used to working outside, cleaning and feeding animals, or running for the hell of it. Being inside was driving him insane. He needed to feel the earth, and the house wasn’t cutting it.

And like the devil, the phone rang beside the bed.

"Of course I will." Lex cursed softly as he reached over to pick up the phone. "Luthor."

"Lex? Hi, sweetie, its Martha. Is my forgetful son there?"

"Yeah, he is. He's asleep right now, Martha. He... hasn't been feeling well." Lex sighed silently.

Clark heard her voice, shuddered violently with shame, and buried himself in the blankets and pillows. He didn’t want her to know, never to know. This was a shame that was deep, deeper then he'd ever felt, and only Lex could ever know. Everyone else had been a witness… only Lex would know. And he pressed his face into the pillow, hiding himself as best he could because it was instinctual.

"Not feeling well?" Her voice rang with alarm, and she stopped mixing the cookies on the counter and raised her head a little, phone cupped to her cheek. "What do you mean, not feeling well? Is everything alright, Lex?"

"Clark... just had another little run-in with the red meteor rocks. Nothing as outlandish as last time, believe me, but Clark and I had decided after the last incident that it would be safer to keep him here, in case he did anything... that he shouldn't."

"Oh." Martha sighed, deeply. "Lex, you’re going to be my son in law, you’re going to have to promise me something. When you can... get all the meteor rocks gathered from Smallville. Clark to this day can't go by Feldman’s pond." Martha heaved a sigh. "Give him a kiss from me, okay sweetie?"

"Don't worry about that, Martha. My father and I are already working on a plan to take care of that; it'll be part of a public health promotion that we do before moving everything here. We hope to have them gone by the end of the year." He leaned over and pressed a silent kiss to Clark's cheek. "I will." A small pause. "He'll be all right, Martha. I give you my word, I won't let anything happen to him."

"I know. That’s why I haven’t rushed off to the mansion." She was smiling, though. "I'll give the principal a call back and let him know Clark’s not feeling well. Thank you, sweetie. Oh! And I’ll be around sometime tomorrow morning with the weeks produce, okay?"

Clarks finger’s were vices around his lovers waist, holding on as tightly as he knew how, and keeping his head down.

"The principal called?" Lex questioned softly. His free hand moved to stroke over the back of Clark's neck.

"Yes, he did. Asked where Clark was, and Id assumed he was going to school. He called me every afternoon, after all." Martha's sigh deepened, rubbing a belly just beginning to show as she set the phone in the crook of her shoulder and went back to rolling the flour for the cookies.

Again, Lex cursed silently under his breath. "I'll call Mr. Reynolds and clear this up."

"You don’t have to sweetie." She could hear the tension in his voice, and chuckled. "Pardon my unladylike words, but he's an asshole. I'll take care of him... you just take care of my baby."

"Yes, he is an asshole," Lex concurred. "And, he doesn't like me very much, and I'm afraid that's contributing to his treatment of Clark."

"No, you're not. He has a very... skewed perspective on life. Don’t worry sweetie." She glanced up as Jonathan waved her outside, and smiled into the phone. "Take care of my baby. I'll bring over some soup over for him this afternoon, because I’m certain Ms. Bird doesn’t make it."

"He's been sleeping a lot since the exposure; if he's still asleep when you come over... I'm sorry, but I'm gong to have to ask you not to wake him up," Lex apologized. "But I’m sure he'd love the homemade soup."

"Orange soup. He likes it, so I'll bring over a lot of it just in case. And Lex," She smiled. "He's my baby." Quiet reminder of it, though she didn’t say any more. "I'll see you both this afternoon."

"We'll be here," he nodded, even though she couldn't see it. His free hand still stroked Clark's neck. "I'll make sure he knows you're coming."

"Thanks sweetie. Bye!"

Clark didn’t let the tension out until he heard his mom hang up. His body loosened, just a little, and he kept his face close to Lex's thigh, arms around his waist. He didn’t know why he didn’t want to see his mama, but he didn’t. Not right now. He let himself relax finally, and swallowed hard, pulling himself up from the plaster on Lex. "Sorry."

"Don't be," Lex said softly. "I told you, I'll do anything I can to protect you." He snuggled Clark into him, so Clark could plaster back against him if he wanted. "It's up to you, whether you see her this afternoon or not."

"I know." Clark let go of his lover though and ran his fingers through his hair. He needed to get out, he needed fresh air. "Lets go. Lets get out of here. Okay? I’m gonna put some clothes on. Lets go."

"You got it. Anywhere you want to go." He put his hand on Clark's back first. "Do you want me to tape a bandage over that? So the stitches don't rub on the shirt and open back up?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I think so. The inside parts are healing, but its slow, and--" Clark stopped speaking, and stared at their door. It was open just a hair, but he could see a big brown eye peaking in, and a tiny paw stepping on one floppy ear. Oh, his baby. Clark sat up more and scooted further to the edge of the bed, offering his arms down.

Samson peeked in the door, tripping over his own ear. Soft, sad little cries as he looked for the Clark and his own little purpley soft bed. They'd moved it! And he was sad, because they'd forgotten about him!! More little cries as he finally got the heavy door nudged open, and then he saw the Clark!

Little puppy claws tapped on the floor as he humped his little furry butt over to the Clark and the arms that were offered to him, and he plopped down on Clark's hands with a huff, waiting to be picked up already. A little lick at the base of Clark's thumb, and he whined again.

Clark mustered a little smile for him and pulled him up into his arms, snuggling him close. "Hi, Sammie. I missed you, punkin." Clark snuggled him close to his face, nuzzling his ear and neck as he hugged him. His little bed was at the foot of their bed, the fabric changed and the pillows inside softer and cozier, and Clark leaned over, gasping softly in pain before motioning. "See? There’s your bed. We're right here, baby, I’m sorry we forgot about you."

The gasp of pain caught Samson's attention and he sat straight up, looking at the Clark with his head cocked. The Clark had never made noises like that before, and Samson sniffed him carefully. His smell was different! He smelled like the Lex did, kind of! He sniffed again, and then licked Clark's face, wagging his tail once. "Bawr?" he asked sadly.

Clark couldn’t stand seeing his little puppy, so tiny and young, looking at him with that sad look. And his chest hitched, as tears filled his eyes and rolled down his cheeks without him being able to stop them, as he smiled just a little. "Its okay, baby. See? Its all okay, I promise. You w..." His voice caught, and he cleared his throat gruffly. "You can come with us, baby. Want to my love?"

Samson wiggled, and started licking at the salty water that came off the Clark's face. He knew the Clark wasn't happy, and that was BAD! He snuggled up close to the Clark, tucking his head under the Clark's chin, and licking.

"We're gonna go outside. You haven’t gone outside to where my mom and dad live. You'd like it… lots of animals and stuff." Clark said softly, rubbing his cheek into Samson’s head. He knew his little puppy was snuggling on purpose and he snuggled right back, rubbing what was left of the tears to smile back at Lex. "Where was he?"

Lex watched quietly as Clark cuddled the little puppy. Samson had brought the first little smile to Clark's face since the tragedy, and Lex wouldn't ever complain about dog hair in the Ferrari ever again. "Dominic and Dad moved him into my office while we were cleaning, but I don't think anyone ever remembered to move him back in here with us." He stroked over Clark’s hair gently.

Samson kept licking and snuggling, tail starting to wag just a little as the Clark started to snuggle him. Now that's what Samsons were talking about.

"I’m glad he found us. He's our little guy you know?" Clark hugged his Samson once more before setting him on the bed and rubbing his little head. "Want to show Lex the trick you know, Sammy?"

Samson wiggled again. He could do the Trick! He wiggled up to sit on his butt, looking up at the Lex. He made sure the Lex was watching him, and then he rolled over. On his back, little legs wiggling in the air, tummy exposed for maximum scratching.

"He hasn’t quite gotten the part about rolling all the way over." Clark said softly, smiling again, just a little. He could forget for a little while when Samson was around. He needed something to love, so desperately, and Samson was his little guy. "See? I haven’t taught him anything else, though."

Samson's feet kicked. Nobody was SCRATCHING HIM!!!!!

Lex leaned over and obliged, scratching the little tummy that was exposed to him. "He's smarter than you think, Clark... look at this. He knows how to play us suckers for scratches. Who needs to roll all the way over, when you can roll onto your back and get your tummy rubbed, huh?"

"He's smart." A little nod. "And spoiled, but that’s what we're here for, right Sammy? Gotta spoil little guys like you." Clark nodded again, rubbing his palms through his hair as he rose. Slowly, making sure he could straighten, and did so with deep, even breathes. His muscles got tense when he lay down for a while, and he didn’t know why. He got himself straight and nodded, glancing at his lover. "I’m going to put my clothes on, then you can cover this up for me?"

Lex nodded. "Yes, I can."

Samson looked. He looked at the Clark, who was still Not Happy, and he looked at the Lex, who was also Not Happy. He whined, looking back and forth between his two people, and then the Lex patted his butt and pushed him towards the Clark. He wiggled down the bed and put his paws on the footboard, whining up at the Clark and watching with huge brown eyes.

Clark looked back at the whine, and because he was a sucker for the brown eyes, reached out and lifted his little guy in his arms. His chin trembled but he forced a smile for him, holding him close to him and hugging tightly. "Want to help me get my clothes, Sammy? Come on... lets see." He turned and walked into the closet, which was on Lex's side of the bed and different than their old bedroom. He hadn’t asked why their things had been moved, but he didn’t question it. And was just grateful.

He stepped in, and found all his clothes exactly where they should be. "Hmmm."

Samson wiggled, and put his paw out on a pretty, bright blue t-shirt. "WHOOF!!"

Clark smiled just a little, glancing back into the bedroom once before he buried his face into Samsons back and let the tears moisten his fur. He couldn’t cry, because it was just... no more tears, he'd promised. But he hurt. The pity was agonizing, and he hurt so violently for his lover. Lex was being so strong, and Clark wasn’t helping him. So he set down Samson and got the bright blue t-shirt, tugging the old ratty white one off and the blue on. Lose jeans that wouldn’t hurt his back, cut low... lower then the gash, and he whistled and pat his thigh for Samson to follow him back into the bedroom.

And he sat down, and gathered Lex in his arms, hugging him tightly. "I love you."

Once on the floor, Samson scooted into the back of the closet. He snuffled until he found a pair of ratty old tennies that smelled just like the Clark, and commenced to chewing.

Lex wrapped his arms back around Clark, careful of the wound on his back. "I love you, Clark. My aushna'. I love you so."

"I love you. I'll help you get through this. I adore you. I’ve marked you as mine… you are mine. You will always be mine, and I'll protect you and honor you. I promise." He whispered into Lex's neck. "You’ve been so strong. Come outside with me... we'll walk to my house. Cut through the field. You have my essence inside you now… I know you want to go outside and feel the earth. Come on, baby."

"Are you sure you feel up to walking?" Lex asked, worriedly. "I can carry you, just like you used to carry me." He stroked his fingers through Clark's hair. "You're right; I do want to get outside."

"Yes. Don’t worry about me anymore." My pain is mine, and I won’t push it on you any more. "I’m healing. Come on, lets go."

Lex shook his head. "Of course I'm going to worry about you, Clark? What kind of mate would I be to you if I didn't worry about you?" His fingertips stroked gently over his beloved's face. "Don't push yourself, Clark. You're too precious for me to lose you too." He stroked gently over Clark's throat.

"You won’t. I'll tell you when I get tired. I’m sure you’re strong enough to give me a piggy back ride and bench press a truck, so you know," He tried for a light nod, touching his lovers cheeks and ears, he back of his head to pull him in. He was trying, desperately, because this pain was too deep. Better to cover it, to hide it, and deal with it in his own way.

It helped that his son was buried close. It helped so very, very much. He would visit him tonight, when the moon was full, and finish the ceremony from that morning.

Where his son was buried under the earth, his little body still whole and cold and Clark looked away as sadness swamped him so hard it almost took his breath away. Just a moment though, before gazing back at his lover and giving him a tiny smile, which had made him so happy before. "Come on."

"All right. But come on into the bathroom first. Let me put a bandage over that."

"Okay." Clark rose and offered his arms to his lover, pulling him in close. Don’t pull away from me. "Then we can walk… take flowers to him. It's only about a forty five minute walk, it'll be good."

Lex wrapped himself tightly around Clark, soaking up the solace that his lover offered and gave his own in return. "I'd like that, Clark. I'd like that... very much." He looked around. "Where's Fuzzball?"

"Call him. Whistle. He'll hear you." Clark led his lover into the bathroom, still hugging him warmly into the circle of his embrace, where it was safe. Where they could be safe. Where it was alright to cloak ones self in the every day, when it felt like the world could never go on again. "I should go to school tomorrow."

Said fuzzball was still happily chewing away at Clark's tennis shoe in the dark of the closet. Slobber was everywhere, and Samson was having himself a good old time.

"Samson!" Lex let out a shrill, almost supersonic whistle, his arms still twined around Clark's waist. "Baby, no. You're not... you're nowhere near ready to go back to school."

Samson raised his head at the whistle. Answer the Lex, keep eating the shoe?

The shoe won.

"I have to. I can.." The mundane was so strange. "I can only miss ten days of school. I've already missed, with today, nine. I should go, do my homework." A moment, and he said quietly. "Tomorrow is my birthday."

"I don't care about the school days, I'll get--" He snapped his mouth shut. "I'd all but forgotten." Lex sighed, and put his head on Clark's shoulder for a moment. "Your present... is still sitting in the lower garage."

"I don’t want anything." Clark said quietly. He led Lex into the bathroom, calling out for Samson again as he let go of his love and rose the t-shirt up so the low jeans were just low enough, and the stitches, black and ugly against his skin, shone out. He pulled the shirt up and set it on the counter, before rubbing a goosebumped shoulder slightly. "I don’t need anything."

"I know you don't need anything; I bought you something anyway." Lex looked under the sink and brought out the first aid supplies that had been left in there for them. A roll of baby-soft cotton bandages and strips of adhesive tape were waiting, and slowly, gently, Lex taped one end of the bandage on Clark's side. "I'm going to wrap this all the way around, and tape it down in front, so there's no chance of it irritating your skin, all right?"

Samson heard the Clark calling him, and he humped his butt out of the closet, dragging the slobbery and now half-destroyed shoe out with him.

Clark jumped once, but nodded. He remembered the feeling of cool gauze and aching pain from when his ribs had gotten a little smushed, and lifted his arms to help his lover. They looked, in the reflection of the mirror, like the ghosts of the boys they once were, and as Clark watched them, he realized why.

They weren’t boys anymore. And the revelation was startling.

Of course, so was Samson holding his old Adidas tennis shoe, now half eaten, giving them a big puppy grin from the door. And he couldn’t help his little smile. "There you are."

Samson's tail thumped happily against the linoleum as he drooled over Clark's shoe.

Lex's hands worked surely and quickly as he looked over his shoulder. "I'm just glad that's not one of my shoes, Fuzzball. You'd be in deep shit for munching a Gucci."

"Lex?"

"Yeah, baby?"

"I would be honored if you would marry me."

Lex almost dropped the scissors he was cutting the bandage with, and he grinned up at his lover. "I'd love to marry you, Clark." He put the sharp implement down, and cupped Clark's face in his hand. "I would love nothing more, in fact, than to be your husband. Forever."

The smile brought Clarks out too, and he set his forehead on Lex’s, fingers cupping over Lex's on his face. "You... you are my mate for my life. I knew it then, and in the same fierceness, I know it now. But I want... I want everyone else to know about it, too. Mar-El showed me that. Just by being here, he showed me who you are on the inside. You are proud, and that pride is what you need with me, because I’m an ass and couldn’t match with someone who wasn’t. You are tender, and it matches me. You put aside all of your pain just to help me with mine. Lex... my parents won’t approve, not yet. Will you be my fiancé, and wait for a year for me?"

Lex looked into Clark's eyes. "I'll wait. As long as I have to. Because you're worth it, baby. You're worth it to me, in every way."

"You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever met." Clark said softly, stroking over Lex's head. "I don’t have a ring... I'll get you one."

Lex shook his head. "Let me get you one. That way you... get to keep your savings for school. Because I know you won't let me help you with that. Let me buy your ring, Clark."

"It'll be okay." Clark said softly, nodding. "I will get you one. I want people to see you and know you're taken. You're mine." He stroked his thumbs over high cheekbones and gave him another smile, from deep in his heart. "I don’t have much... but what I’ve got is yours. I love you, Lex... I’m so happy you said yes."

"I love you, Clark." The smile on his lover's face was beautiful. His cold heart warmed gently. "I couldn't say anything but yes, I love you so." He rubbed his thumbs on Clark's collarbone. "All I want is your heart, Clark," he whispered. "Your heart, your love... your family," he said, his voice cracking.

Clark’s smile wavered, in his sadness, but he nodded, pulling him close softly. "You will have everything from me. And when this pain is over, we'll try again. He would have wanted it, Lex. He would have wanted us to be happy." Thinking about going through this pain again had fear building in his belly, so fierce that it made him nauseous. "Everything that I have is yours. Everything. And I love you, Lex. I love you, and I'll be the best husband you ever saw."

"No, baby." Lex could feel the fear rolling in Clark's stomach. "NO, don't be afraid. We'll be careful; we won't put you through this again." He rubbed Clark's shoulder gently. "No, baby. We can adopt a baby; I can make a baby for us, like I'm doing for my dad."

A shake of his head, softly, and he looked down at his lover, pressing their foreheads together. "I want to. I want to give you children. But now we know, and you need...you need to write it down, Lex. You need to write it all down, so that when it happens, we'll know." A nod. "And instead...you can...surgery. And... and it won't hurt… hurt like this. And the baby will have a better chance." he held his lover closely. "I feel it, Lex. We'll be so happy together. I should have known... should have known, Lex. I can be so ignorant."

"No. You're not ignorant. You're not. You're not, stop saying it." Lex clutched his lover as tightly as he could. "I love you so much. I won't ever let this happen to you again. I won't let you be hurt like this, ever again, I promise you that. I give you my word, Clark. From aushna' to aushna'."

"I know." Clark held him closer when Lex tightened his arms... a little too tight, but it was okay. "Lex, I am ignorant. I wanted your come inside me all the time, I wasn’t... using the bathroom, at all. For days. I felt strange, and weak, and excited and thrilled and just... the secretions. I should have known. I know everything else, why couldn’t I know that?" He shook his head. "Lex, come on. Lets get out of here for a while. I just... I need air."

"You can't know everything, Clark. You can't." He clung tightly. "I should have known. You weren't yourself, you weren't feeling good, the secretions, I should have known. I should have known that you were in trouble, but I didn't. I didn't push anything, I didn't make you come down to the lab the first second that I thought something was wrong, I should have known, I'm sorry, baby."

Samson peeked around the bathroom door. "Bawr?" he asked, claws tapping as he wormed his way between Clark and Lex.

He shook his head quietly, and gathered Lex close, strong for the both of them. He rubbed his lips over the bare crown, and whispered very quietly, "It wasn’t our fault. It wasn’t God’s fault. It just happened, and we have to be grateful he was with us, even for those few seconds." Clark closed his eyes. He didn’t know who he was. Scattered in the wind. Walking would help, because the earth helped, and Clark gazed down at Samson, sitting half on his bare feet and half on Lex's. "Hey, Sammy. Was my shoe good?"

Samson looked up at the Clark. The Clark was talking to him like he understood. OH well. He put his feet up on Clark's leg, whimpering as he pawed at the leg of Clark's jeans to be picked up.

"It is my fault, Clark." He looked up. "But you still love me. Thank you." He hugged Clark tightly. "I love you. I want to marry you."

Clark let go for just a moment, reaching down to scoop the baby up into his arms. "There we g-..." Lex's words struck him, and he looked up. His eyes widened, and he almost dropped Samson, pulling him in close as he looked at his lover in shock. "Your...fault? Why--..Lex, no." He shook his head, trembling softly as he cupped Lex's cheek. "Its not your fault. Why on earth would it be your fault? Baby, oh." Clark brought him in and hugged him, tightly. "Lex, baby, no."

Lex nodded. "Yes. It's my fault. I'm the scientist here, Clark. I should have known all the possibilities. I should have taken precautions, I should have known something was wrong. I'm your aushna', your mate, I should have known something was wrong with you and with Mar-El, and I didn't. I could have prevented it, it's my fault, Clark. Not yours." He wrapped his arms around Clark and held tightly as he could.

"Lex..." Clark leaned down and set Samson down again, and crushed his lover close with both hands, bringing his love in to press against his bare skin. "No. Lex. No. How could we have known? I’m a guy, I don’t have babies. There was no way to know. I thought it was a new power when I started feeling strange Lex, I thought... I thought something was changing inside like it always does when I get a new power. Neither of us could have ever dreamed you'd have sex with me on Sunday ad I'd give birth on Wednesday. No one could have known, no one could have predicted it, even the strongest of scientists. You didn’t know, I didn’t know, and it happened baby. it happened. I love you, so much, but its not your fault. Its not mine. We don’t have hindsight, baby."

Lex buried his face in Clark's shoulder. "I know we don't. But I should have known something. Clark, I gave you the examinations. I saw that it was a possibility. And I didn't take precautions. I didn't... I didn't fucking investigate it. I'm so sorry I did this to you." He held tightly to Clark, not ever letting go. "I'm so sorry."

"You didn’t. You didn’t. Lex, no. You can’t... no. Lex, no." Clark shook his head, and the pain built and his face crumbled as he pressed it into Lex's bare head. "No, please, my love, don’t blame yourself. You are the most giving, beautiful, kind aushna' that ever lived. You are strong and generous and wonderful. You’re so jaded, but its okay, because I’m jaded now too. You couldn’t have known, not when I’m so… so unlike you. Lex, we didn’t even think this would ever be a possibility. You know that. You know it could never have crossed your mind, don’t hurt yourself over it baby."

"I can't help it, I hurt with you, I hurt for you, baby." He rubbed his cheek against Clark's shoulder. "If you don't blame yourself, then I can't blame myself, okay? Promise me."

Telling Lex it hadn’t been his fault had told Clark it wasn’t his fault. There was nothing any of them could have done, no matter what. Their baby was born without lungs...just "half formed, shriveled sacs. His back lung worked, but it had the plasma from inside me in there... breathing liquid. But when it was gone, he couldn’t breath. That’s what it was. There was nothing anyone could have done. Nothing, Lex." But he was crying again, tears running down his face and moistening his lovers scalp. "Nothing we could have done. I don’t blame myself... you shouldn’t blame you. I promise I won't, eve again. I promise."

Samson scratched at Clark's leg, whining to be picked up. His paws worked frantically at Clark's jeans, and he NEEDED to be with his Clark and his Lex cause they NEEDED him. He kept whining.

Lex squeezed Clark tightly. "Not my fault. not your fault. We're both blameless." He pulled Clark tighter. "Yes. Okay, let's go outside. You're ready to go."

"Okay." Clark rubbed his tears away and offered him as much of a smile as he could, cupping those slender, lovely cheeks. Lex's skin was soft as feathers underneath his palms, but filled with strength. And Clark... he felt... he felt protected, in a way he hadn’t before. And he snuggled against his lover, gently, offering his own strength as he took his hands. "Come on, baby. lets go."

Lex stood up, pulling Clark with him and wrapping his arms around Clark's waist. "Don't forget Fuzzball," Lex said softly, rubbing his palms over his face as he wiped his face clean.

And Clark gazed down at the baby he’d put down twice and gently lifted him into his arms. And took Lex's palm in his own. "I love you, AJ."

"I love you, CK." Lex wove their fingers together, and squeezed tightly.

Samson wiggled happily. He snuggled up against Clark's chest, and started chewing on the sleeve of the Clark's shirt.

Fifteen minutes later, after putting on coats, scarves, hats, and an extra sweater for Clark, they were on their way. The air was crisp and clean, and in the early spring air Clark looked gaunt and pale, waxen. But his face was turned up into the bright sun, the cool wind blowing on his cheeks, and Samson, wearing a very tiny scarf Ms. Bird had sewn him, running in front of them.

"You know, only that dog could pull off a yellow scarf like that, and not look like a dork."

The ground under Clarks feet was alive, stirring with the changing season, and Clark knew his love felt it too. Their arms were linked, scarves and coats done up, and Clark turned and nodded at him. Little wriggling puppy butt and happy leaps every time he saw a bird. "I know it. Ms. Birds working on a hat. How Samson isn’t chewing it to shreds? Beyond me."

Lex was almost tempted to take his shoes and socks off and wiggle his toes in the earth. He didn't yet feel like smiling, but enough time spent outside, and he likely could. "Even Samson's afraid of Ms. Bird?" he offered quietly.

"Yeah. She’s got him trained." The snow had begun to melt sometime the week before, and it smelled cool and wet. "Early spring this year. My dad is going to be happy...the crops are going to be very good nice year."

"She's got us all trained, Clark. Down to my father not crossing her." His elbow tightened. "Speaking of your parents... are they going to be thrilled? That you proposed, I mean?"

"Of course not. I’m their--" Baby boy. Pang of agony. "Child, remember? My mom will be thrilled. My dad will go pale. But moms got a good thing about convincing him about stuff... and I'll talk to him. " He nodded it. "Lex... its just a ceremony. You and I... when I claimed you, you became mine. When I met you, I was yours. This is just...its formality, its legally binding... its so my mom can cry and your dad can get all sniffly and Shayla and Megan can be flower girls."

"I know it's just a ceremony, Clark. We belong to each other, no matter what anyone else says. I just don't want your dad to have an embolism and drop over dead in the field because his son is married to Lex Luthor."

He glanced at him in shock... and almost laughed. Almost. "He might, but at heart... I know he cares about you. He wants us happy, and he knows he can't change my mind." A moment, as they stepped off the road and into the slightly mushy field. it had already begun to dry over the past snow, and it was just a bit damp in area's now. "He knows you're it. And he wants me to be happy. Of course... it makes him and Dominic father in law's." This time, Clark gave a soft grin. "I want to see them when its revealed."

"I want to sell tickets. We could finance Samson's trip to obedience school three times over."

"We could call the ER in advance. Have them get two teams ready, and to expect broken bones and busted faces." A nod, and Clark smiled again. He felt... he loved the earth, desperately, and being out in it, in its wide expanses, the claustrophobia went away. He felt like he could run in six different directions and it would be...okay. The sun beat on his cheeks, his back, his hair, and sharing it with his lover made him just...grateful for life, and how precious it was.

There was SOMETHING with wings that stayed RIGHT out of the reach of his nose. Yellow! He chased it. He was going to catch it.

WHAM!!

"BAWWWWWWRRRRRR!!" Samson sobbed as he plowed right into the fence post.

Hadn't even seen it coming.

The little butterfly flitted away into the distance.

"Oh!" Clark let go of his lover and hurried over to him, crouching low to his little baby and peering. "Sammy? Samson? You okey, baby?" He crouched further, gasping in pain before he rearranged his limbs and rubbed his little babies back.

"BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!" He cried again, and he snuggled up against the Clark.

It HURT!

"Baby!" Clark picked him up snuggled him close and burst into tears. "No, baby, Samson, baby, look at me, here, baby," He rubbed his little head, his face where he'd hit, and thumped down onto his ass, sobbing and holding the puppy close. "Don’t, you can’t go too, Samson, Samson, baby, are you okay?"

He put his head on the Clark's shoulder. "Bawr!" He licked the Clark's face, wiggling his little butt to get comfortable.

Lex opened his mouth to say something reassuring, and he was completely shocked to hear himself yip.

"Baarrwr?" A little brown nose peeked out of the weeds at the fence post.

Clark hiccupped a sob, trembling because he suddenly realized how much he kept this little baby close to his heart, hugging his Samson close and buried his face in his babies fur.

"Meer?" The second little snuffle was very teenie and quiet, and big brown eyes peeked from behind the butt of the first.

Lex crouched down, and reached behind the weeds, super-speed snagging the two little creatures before they could wriggle away in fear.

Little identical copies of Samson, down to the floppy ears and big brown eyes. "Clark?"

Clark’s face was buried in Samsons fur, and he hiccupped again, looking up with streaked eyes and bloodshot eyes... and gasped.

Eeeee! Badness! Scaryness! EEE! The smaller one, with a big white spot on her face, squealed and wriggled, trying to bite Smellies fingers off. Let go! Don’t hurt!!!!!

The other boy dangling from Lex's hand just gave a quiet whine. "Baaaaawwwwwrrrrrr." He licked the little girl dog's face and tried to calm her down.

OOOOOH!!!! OOOOH!!!! They were Samsons too!!! He knew the smells!!!!! They were Samsons too!!!! He wiggled and he squirmed and he barked sharply. "YIP!!"

Lex dropped to his ass on the ground. "I believe we just inherited two new dogs."

Clark’s eyes were wide, his jeans muddy from flopping on the floor. And very suddenly, very quickly, he realized what this was. "Lex... they’re our gift." Clark whispered, looking at the much smaller, undernourished dogs, and let go of his little fat Samson, eyes wide. "Oh... God, they’re cute."

The little girl let out a tiny, soft cry of sadness. No, she didn’t want to go back to being in the big cold wet thing. She wanted to be here! But these big white Smellies were going to hurt her!!!!! And the barking...OH! OHOHOHOHOHHHHHHHHHHH! "BAAARK! ARF!" The Other Them!!!!!

As soon as Samson had started yipping, so had the other boy. "YIIIIIIIIPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!" He wiggled in Lex's hand, and finally, squirmed out. He landed on his butt in the ploppy muddy stuff, and just hustled over to the Clark and the other Them! "BAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKK!"

Samson wiggled down as soon as the Clark let him go, and his tongue lolled out as he barked and yipped. These were the other Samsons!! Yes yes yes yes yes!! He licked the boy dog and then sniffed up at the little girl.

Oh. They smelled good. They smelled like FOOD! And her insides were bumping and wriggling and she lapped and licked at the other Them and barked happily. YAY! Yayayayay!!!!!!!!!!

Oh. The little puppies legs were shaking, and he could see hunger on their tiny faces. Clark immediately went into his pockets, looking for anything to give them… and came up with a bag of half crushed, half eaten Doritos from Monday. He took it out immediately. "Lex, make your hands into a cup, so they can eat this. it won't hurt them, will it?"

Lex cradled the little girl to his chest. "Hey there, little girl, nobody's going to hurt you, okay?" He looked up at Clark. "Yeah... I think they are. They're ours, to take care of now." He looked at the little girl. "I think... I think I'm going to name you Cleo." He looked up at Clark and held his hands out as requested. "No, they should be fine with it, as long as we don't let them eat a lot of it. don't want them to be sick."

"Here." he poured half of them in Lex's hands and the rest in his own, offering them to the little boy dog. They were painfully thin and small, shaking, and Clark tenderly scooped him up into his arms, rubbing the tear tracks from his face as he snuggled him. He might have weighed all of five pounds, and Clark hugged him tenderly as he offered his hand to him with the food in it. "Hi, baby. Hi there." He crooned softly, rubbing his very dirty head. "My name is Clark... that’s Lex. We're gonna take care of you now." He looked up. "Cleo. Definitely. And this....this is Arthur. You think? You like that?"

"Samson, the strongest man in history. Cleopatra, queen of Egypt and Achilles heel of the Caesars. Arthur, greatest King of all. I think that's the perfect assortment of royalty."

Oh. Oh. It smelled... it was so good. Oh. She nosed her hand into the big Smellies hand and licked and lapped. Whoa! Tangy! But good!!!! She yipped in joy and dove her face in, eating, licking, nipping, until their wasn’t a spec left in the big Smellies hand. He was saying something, but he was... oh! OH! WARM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay. That was it.

She crawled into his big long things, burrowed down, set her head on his leg, and shivered. It was always so COLD.

Clark glanced up in surprise...and offered his lover a little crooked grin. "Yeah. Yeah, I think so. You like that, Artie?" He turned his gaze down to the small brown baby in his arms.

And he glanced to Samson, and pulled him close. "Don’t eat Artie's food, Sammy. Okay? He's pretty hungry."

Lex scratched her behind the ears once she was done eating, and slipped her inside his jacket, against his warm skin. "There you go, Cleo."

But Samson was a good Samson. He knew the other Samson was hungry, and he really wasn't. So he sniffed at it, took one out, and laid it in front of the other Samson so he would know it was safe. And then he snuggled against Clark when the big hand pulled him over, and he gave a happy puppy sigh. The other Samsons were okay, and he was happy.

The newly-christened Artie sniffed the chip from the other Them, and then crunched it. And it was good! Hot, but good. And gently he nosed his way into Clark's cupped hand, scarfing down every chip that was in there and licking the warm palm clean.

And as soon as the baby had, Clark picked him up and snuggled him close, in his arms, where it was warm. He rubbed him behind the ears and pulled his scarf off, wrapping it around the little baby and pulling him close. "Lex... I think our walk got cut off. Should we go home?"

Lex nodded. "But we need to get the puppies warm first. Do you have a spare blanket in your barn? We could line a box with it, and carry them back in that." He kept the shivering little girl against his chest. "I know Cleo's cold, and I bet Arthur is too."

She heaved a very teenie sigh. The other Them was nice, cause he was sharing, and the Smellie really wasn’t SO smellie. He was nice! "Yipiiipp." Yay1 It was warm! And making her sleeeeeeppy.

But she was a'scared. The Big Black Things came around when they were a'sleepin sometimes.

"There’s always that stuff there, yeah." Clark gently rose with Artie in his hands, and tucked the much healthier fat Samson under his arm, grinning down at him as Clark followed Lex's lead and slipped Arthur in his coat, much as he'd done to Samson the first day they met. He unzipped his coat so he could peek out but not fall out, and snuggled Samson close.

Samson peeked into the open jacket, made sure that the other Samson was still in there, and then started chewing on the zipper pull as Clark tucked him in.

Arthur rubbed his head and his floppy ears against the warm chest. He missed being warm, and he yawned a huge puppy yawn as the warmth went all the way around him. A little light from way up somewhere, and he yawned again, popping little puppy jowls and snuggling back in.

Lex chuckled softly, and his hand petted Cleo inside his jacket. "Come on, let's go spoil these pups too." He looked over at Samson. "Fuzzball... you're multiplying."

Didn't. Understand. A. Word. But he was a happy Samson, so he just let it go with a loud bark of agreement.

Cleo sniffled and rubbed her face against a toasty something, cause wow. She hadn’t been warm in forEVER. She heard the other Them biting something, and oh. Where was her Bruder?!?!?!?

She sobbed. "Yi-i-p, yiiiiiippppppppp!"

Clark gazed up at his lover as he wriggled Artie gently and put Samson in his jacket too. He let them snuggle together... he figured they both needed it. But he was barely paying attention… just gazing at his lover as he reached out to stroke his cheek. "You laughed." he said softly, and because it was just wonderful, he kissed him tenderly. "I love you."

"I love you." Lex leaned forward in the touch, and then returned the soft kiss. "I love you so much." He pulled back when he heard the sobbing from inside his jacket, and he pulled the little girl up. "It's okay, little girl, they're just with Clark, getting warm like you."

"Yiiippppp. Yiiippppppp. Hoowwwwwl." Puppy sobs, snuffling against him and huffing. Bruder and other Them...oh! She could see them! oh, they were okay! YAY! And she chomped on Smellies warm white thing. Gnawed. Hunngrryy.

Clark pulled Lex close as they continued to walk. "We're almost at my house... we're coming in from the east, so my parents won’t see us."

The Samson accidentally stepped on the other Samson's nose as he stuck his head out of the Clark's jacket. He barked at the little girl Samson in the Lex's arm, and then snuggled back down in Clark's jacket. Warm beat cold any day!

Lex kept his arm wrapped firmly around Clark's waist as they walked, ignoring Cleo's chewing on his arm. "I don't mind if they see us, if they do we can just tell them you wanted to come see your mother after I told you she called."

A tremble raced through Clarks body, as he gazed up at the sky, making sure the squirming dogs in his coat didn’t move around too much. He shook his head a little, swallowing hard. "I don’t want to see them, Lex. My mother will know something’s wrong… if my dad asks me to help him, I'll have to tell him I can’t. They'll find out. Lex... my mom is pregnant. She’s not even supposed to be able to be pregnant... she'll lose her mind in grief for me, because I know how she works. She'll lose the baby. Don’t you think there’s been enough? She can’t, too. So… we can’t tell them. We can’t see them, not until we can hide it better."

Lex nodded, in complete agreement. "All right. If you want, I'll pick you up and run us in there, so nobody sees us coming."

A slight shake of his head… but then he looked down at the puppies. They were freezing and hungry, and he couldn’t be selfish and cause them any more pain. "I... Y… yeah. Its just... weird."

"Because you're used to picking me up." Lex swept his love into his arms. "Put your arms around my neck, and I'll carry you over the threshold and up the steps," he said with a small smile.

"Holy shit." Exclaimed before he could stop it and Clark grabbed onto him, his eyes wide. He tucked the puppies tighter to his chest, swallowing hard and nodding. "Okay. Yeah. Okay."

"Well, at least you're not making jokes about my driving now." Lex reached in and adjusted Cleo so that she wasn't smushed between them, and he looked down at Clark. "Hang on."

Clark nodded and pressed his face close to Lex's, trembling just a little as he hugged the puppies and his lover tightly.

Lex took off, feeling the lightness of his feet and his body as he ran, jumping the fence and soaring higher than he'd meant before drifting back down. The leap had them landing right outside the barn, and Lex zipped up the stairs and settled his lover on the couch. "There, that wasn't so hard."

Except Clarks juice was in his throat and his eyes were wide, as he was deposited on the couch. His equilibrium was shot to hell and he felt himself go gray, just a little, swallowing and gazing up at his lover with a short grin. "I ever tell you I’m terrified of flying?"

"No, you didn't." Lex stroked Clark's cheek. "I have a problem with heights too, but as long as I'm with you it's all right." He straightened, and handed Cleo to Clark. "Here. You hold her, I'll look for a box and a blanket. "

"Okay." Clark accepted the little puppy, who was just a teenie bit bigger then his hands, and set her down on the warm couch as he unzipped his coat, tenderly lifting Artie and Samson out of his coat.

His lover hadn’t even questioned about keeping them. He just...had. And Clark sent him, through their partially destroyed link, his joy. they had to rebuild it, when they were ready, but for now he gave him his happiness at little beings to love.

And for the first time, thought of his son with joy.

Okay. She'd gone from total coziness to partial coz---BRUDER! She wriggled and squirmed her way across the couch cushion until she could hide under him and behind him. The other Them was BIG! He would sit on her and mush her!!!!

Lex found a small wooden crate with Kent Organic Produce stenciled on the side. Looking around, he lined it with hay first, and then tugged the striped blanket off the hammock and covered the hay with the blanket.

Samson tumbled out onto the couch, and pounced on his brother and sister, covering them with licks. he was HAPPY to see the other Samsons!!! When his sister left? He chased her.

Arthur put his head on his paws and watched. He was so sleepy, cause he always stayed awake and looked out for Her and now they were all safe and warm and he just wanted to sleep. He yawned a huge puppy yawn, and curled up in the middle of the cushions.

She let out a loud yip of terror, and she smelled the Smellies friend. Okay, and so MAYBE she was going to hide behind him, but the other Them was HUGE! She squealed and hid and shook, yipping and trying to scare him away.

"Saaammmy." Clark scolded, reaching behind his arm where the tiny little girl had hid, and lifted her in his hands. Her ears flopped everywhere, and he held her up just a little, gently rubbing her head with one large palm. "Shhhh... see? We have to be gentle baby, very gentle."

The Clark was scolding him about his sister, and Samson just laid his chin on Clark's knee and gave him big brown puppy eyes. Nobody could resist the Samson Eyes.

He was very aware of how tired he was getting, but Clark didn’t show it as he gave his pup a look. Yeah. Samson had them tied around one little paw, and Clark leaned down to drop a kiss on his head as he snuggled the tiny girl close and offered her for Samsons eyes, keeping both hands on her so she wouldn’t bolt. "Gentle, Sammy."

Samson could do gentle. He scrambled gently into Clark's lap, and nosed at the little girl.

"Here we are," Lex said triumphantly. "Looks like the troops are revolting on you, Clark."

She gave him a sniff. Iiiiiiinteresting. Another sniff, cause the Safe Man had her, and she peered at him, plopping down into Clarks hand and nosing right back. Okay. So maybe other Them wouldn’t eat her. She gave his ear a nip though, just to make sure he wouldn’t. "Arf?"

Clark glanced up and nodded, smiling. "Artie fell asleep. Put him in there? Get him warm... Cleo can too. Lex, I’m tired." He added it, because he remembered in that instant what had happened the last time he hadn’t said anything.

Lex nearly dropped his box in his haste to check on his lover, and only his super-speed allowed him to catch box and puppy safely as he tucked Artie into the blankets first, and then Cleo. "Are you feeling all right otherwise?" Without him thinking about it, there was a click in his head, and then he could suddenly see through Clark. "Holy fuck."

Clark looked up at him, sleepily, and raised a brow. "Super-speed is fun, isn’t it?" He handed over Cleo happily, and she whined for Samson all the way into the box. "I’m okay, baby. I just got tired all of a sudden... I'll rest a few minutes. I want to show you the space ship, and I will, in a sec."

"Not... not that. I can... Clark, I can see through you."

"Oh. X-Ray vision?" Clark glanced up again and smiled. "Neat, huh?"

"Neat... is one word for it." Lex knew it would help if he knew what he was looking for. But he scanned Clark over anyway. "The hole in the sac behind your stomach? It's almost completely sealed."

Clark shrugged. He could care less. His insides were traitors, and he didn’t like knowing they were healing or not. Bastards. "Oh. Well, that’s good."

"Yes. It is good. Because if they do heal properly... at least we know that you will be okay." He blinked his eyes, closing them until he could no longer see through things. "Well, that was random. But interesting. Clark... listen to me. We have to make sure you're okay."

"Lex, listen to me. I’m fine. Oh, hey. Next time you do the X-Ray thing, look in the mirror. I really love your blue electric things." Clark said softly, and smiled again. "You can… uh, do levels of x-raying. You can look through bodies, buildings, clothes."

"Blue electric things?" Without thinking about it, Lex flipped his vision again, this time narrowing it so that all he looked through was skin, and bone. "Oh!" There were snakes of bright blue electricity that danced and twined over Clark's brain. "I see what you mean... they're beautiful."

Clark smiled crookedly and a section of his brain leapt and tingled. "Pretty, huh? Yours does it too."

"Do that again," Lex ordered softly, watching the blue zings skipping and twisting in a special little pattern as Clark smiled.

"Do what again, baby?" He turned his head to glance at the puppies, yawning softly and another section squirmed and moved and lit up, neurons lighting and racing down to his arm as Clark lifted it to press to his mouth and yawn again,.

"Smile. Move your arm. Yawn." Each motion caused a different pattern of blue sparks, and Lex was mesmerized. "Think of me."

Clark blinked at his lover, and did as he was told.

His entire head, every section of it, lit up in pleasure, joy, sadness, giddiness. it was like a firestorm of blue light as a thousand images skipped over the eye of Clarks mind, and he thought of all the fun they'd had, and how much Clark loved his aushna'.

The electric shocks ran down his chest, legs, body, centering in his chest, crotch, and head. "You’re seeing something, huh?"

"Mmm. I wish you could see it." It was indescribable, seeing Clark's entire brain, entire body lighting up at the thought of him. "You can see it; remind me when you take them back... watch me when I think of you. It's... they're everywhere, Clark. All over you."

"I know." He tipped his head and smiled again. "You do it. After we have sex, you're blue all over. When you’re amused, too. But when you’re angry, they turn kinda... kinda green. Really light green, and they center in your chest. I think maybe I colored all your… your...whatever they’re called."

"I didn't know that." He grinned, watching the blue sparks dance as Clark talked about him. They still wove in intricate patterns all over his body, and he closed his eyes but touched his lover's arm, as though seeing if he could feel the currents sliding through.

Clark yawned again and simply pulled him in close, cause he knew Lex wanted to have a front row seat. The puppies were calm in their basket, Clark was so tired he could barely see straight, and he pulled his lover close, closing his eyes.

Saw images of his son, and opened them again, staring off into a corner of the barn.

"Clark... let me take you and the puppies home. We'll tuck you in bed, and hopefully Chloe and Whitney will be back with your orange juice." Lex didn't raise his head quite yet from Clark's shoulder.

"Its okay. They’re asleep... lets stay here for a while. Just a little while. Is that okay?"

"Are you sure? Your parents....?"

Clark shrugged a shoulder. He was too tired to care. He closed his eyes, pulling his legs up as much as he could, and lay his head back. "I’m so tired. I just want to nap for a while."

Lex curled up beside his lover. "Okay, baby. We'll sleep for a while, and then I'll take you back home, okay? And if your parents come? We're running for it, whether you're awake or not."

"You can carry me again." His voice was amused, quietly so. It was times like these when his strength was down and his courage depleted when he realized how overwhelmingly sad he was. He let his heart slow, let his body cool down and relax, and closed his eyes.

And then he had to turn, and look at the man who had agreed to join him in his life. And the overwhelming sadness wasn’t so overwhelming anymore. "Lex?"

"Yeah, Clark?" Lex's hand was warm on Clark's chest, and his head was secure on his shoulder.

"I’m really glad you're bald."

That got a snicker. "Why do you say that?"

Another little smile. "I like snuggling with you. When I mush my hair on your head, I don’t come back with a lot of greasy byproducts. Like, with Lana? Every time I gave her a hug, six pounds of goop came back. Plus, you know, I like looking at you. You’re a very beautiful person, even if you say no."

Lex tried valiantly to hide the amusement that wanted to burst out of him despite the sadness in his heart. "Well, I'm glad I can provide by-product-less snuggling for you." Then he grew serious, and hugged Clark tightly. "I'm only beautiful with you, Clark."

"I’m telling you. I can hug you and not worry if my hand is gonna get stuck on your head." Clark tipped his head enough so that it rested on the crown of Lex's bald pate. "You’re beautiful. Your face, your head, your hands." He rose one in his own, laying his flat so he could look at Lex's laying on top. "You have really beautiful hands. Like... like a writer. Or a doctor. A painter. Something, they’re artists hands."

Lex flexed his fingers against Clark's. "They're pianist hands, and my mother hand them. So does your mother, if you'll look next time. They're delicate enough to play concert piano, because they won't hit more than one key, like my father's hands, or your hands." He meshed their fingers together then.

He rose the palm with both hands to his lips, kissing the center of it softly. "Yeah. That’s what they are... pianist hands. Not me, I got stuck with sausage hands." He rubbed temples with his lover. "My dad calls them workman hands."

"Mmm... they are. But they're not rough, not calloused. Even my dad, he has calluses on his hands. From holding a foil, from holding a pen all day and writing. He has calluses, and he doesn't work half as hard as you do."

"I can’t get them. Or couldn’t, until now." Clark rubbed Lex's fingernails, tracing the shape of them quietly... then following the line down his palms. "I have five lines on my palms. See?"

"Everyone has those, Clark. That's how palm readers make their living." He pointed to the longest line, and traced it with his fingernail. "That's your lifeline. The longer it is, the longer you live." Another line ran close to it, almost as long. "That's your love line." Then a wry grin. "I don't remember the other lines."

"Really? I never noticed." Clark traced his fingertip down his hand, gazing at it quietly as he glanced at his lover. "I won’t die, Lex."

"You better not, Clark."

"No...I...I mean ever."

At that, Lex looked down. "How do you know that?"

"I don’t. But… I... when I have my powers, I’m invincible. Nothing can hurt me but Kryptonite, Lex, and its not strong enough to kill me, I don’t think. I age, but so what? Maybe I stop. I have a feeling... you know, those gut feelings?" He glanced up at his lover. "My parents were very old when they sent me away."

Lex stroked Clark's hands gently. "Then I'll find a way to be with you forever."

"No...Lex, I think, because you’re my aushna', you age slowly too." Clark shook his head. "Maybe its just a lie, and I'll croak tomorrow. The ship will tell me." He gazed down at their stroking fingers. "I’ve had the key for a long time. But I... I’ve been scared, to open it."

Lex shook his head. "I think now's the time, Clark. Now, when we need to know."

He nodded up at him. "I know. I know." Clark sat up, slowly. He felt better then just a few minutes before, and rubbed around the stitches just a little, grunting quietly. "Mmm. Come on, lets go down. We'll leave the babies here, where its warm."

"Good idea. And I can help keep an ear on them."

Clark shot him a smile, eyes twinkling in a strange amount of pride, especially over such loathsome things. "You’re getting into the powers, aren’t you?"

"I think so, yeah." He studied for a moment, and then went ahead and spit it out. "I think you can fly."

He froze. Dead. And stared at his lover. "What?" And it was pretty amusing, as he froze mid squirm to get up out of the deep cushions, and he was staring at him with wide green eyes.

"I think you have the ability to fly. I noticed it when I jumped the fence. I wasn't paying attention to landing, I just assumed you did it naturally, but instead... we soared. We didn’t start landing until I directed my weight back toward the ground deliberately."

"No. Its… its just jumping." A shake of his head, gazing back at his lover with a healthy amount of fear in his eyes. "There is no soaring whatsoever."

"Clark... we soared. Just now. When I was carrying you and the pups."

Clark’s throat worked and he sat back down beside his lover, eyes widening just a little as he glanced at him. "You’re telling me I can fly?"

"I'm telling you that I think you can fly."

"Have I mentioned my vertigo? And my fear of heights? And flying?"

"You have. But that doesn't change the fact that I believe you can do it."

He leaned back, further, so he was sitting beside his lover again. He gazed into the corner of the barn, looking at nothing... listening to the puppies snore. And glanced at his lover once, before looking away. "Do you think I’m a freak?"

"No, I don't. I think you're an extremely gifted, extremely unique alien who I am... privileged enough to love."

"No..." But some of the worry cloaking Clarks heart lifted a little. "I meant...do you think I’m a freak, because I... I kind of already had a feeling. I could fly. Cause you know, the floating, and stuff."

"Why would I think you're a freak because of that? I might... you know, have to shove you off a building ledge when you take your abilities back so you can learn like a bird does, but no, I don't think you're a freak." His wide grin said that he was teasing.

His eyes were huge, but he fought his own smile back. "You push me off a building and I'll... do something horrible like... like...." He could never do anything to Lex. Christ, he was a sucker. "Like something horrible." He finished lamely… blinked, and kept going. "This whole tossing off a ledge thing, not funny."

"Sorry, baby, but the look on your face, was worth it." He got up and held out his hands to his lover. "I'm sorry. I promise to not throw you off a building."

"Liar." He climbed up...paled, just a little, and heaved a sigh. "Come on. We'll--" He suddenly grabbed Lex's hand and dropped to his knees. The pain screamed over his face but he kept silent, as he listened downstairs. His dad had just entered the barn, whistling some jaunty tune or other, and Clarks eyes screwed tight as he controlled his breathing. and listened.

Lex looked down, seeing Jonathan through the rafters of their feet. Are you ready to go now? To the storm cellar? Lex asked silently through their link, fingertips over Clark's lips. I can take us there and Jonathan will never know we were here.

A nod, eyes wide, as he kept quiet, listening to his father as he sang. I’m ready. What about the babies?

I will come back for them as soon as you're safe.

Okay, lets go. We can lock the cellar once we're inside... I feel bad not talking to him.

Don't. Lex picked his lover up, and instead of going down the stairs past Jonathan, Lex jumped out of the barn window. He shifted his weight to bring them down past the fence, but didn't quite make it. It was easy enough to jump over it, and then land a few feet away from the storm cellar. "See what I mean?"

Clark hung tight to his lover, arms viced tightly around his neck. The jostling around… not good, and he grunted in pain as his arms flexed around Lex's neck, hanging on tight. "Uh… uh huh. I'll never get used to you doing that." He let go and straightened, opening the cellar door and slipping down the steps silently. it was cool but as cold as he'd thought, and he grabbed his lovers arm before he ran back for their puppies. "Cover them. A blanket or something. There’s enough holes in the crate to keep the air circulating, but keep them warm."

Lex nodded. "Got it. And yes, you will get used to it." He squeezed Clark's hands tightly before bolting off, and reappearing again almost the next second. "They're sitting up on the couch, blanket over them, all piled together in a big puppy pile."

Clark offered a small smile, and then offered his hand to his lover. The storm cellar smelled like cold wet earth and mildew, which just about covered the bases. It was old, with old shelves repaired numerous times. A thousand jars of jellies, jams, meats, fruits, and vegetables lined the walls. All of the extra animal feed was stored down there, as well as bags of extra mulch for the pens.

Clark stepped down the long flight of steps, careful not to slip, and let his eyes deviate to the large lump sitting hidden off to one corner. It was covered with a thick blanket and a tarp, hidden from view to look like a bunch of bags of something. It wasn’t... not at all. "There, there it is."

Lex followed his lover quietly, ready to catch him or steady him at any time. The smell of damp earth as they descended into it made his skin tingle and he wondered if the tingle were the sparks of blue he'd seen in Clark jumping on his own skin now. He stripped off his jacket and left just his t-shirt on as he soaked in the cool, earthy air. "Under... that?"

"Yeah." Clark glanced at his lover, watching him strip his clothes and he... he understood. The air here felt so… it was different, and good. He offered a small smile and walked over, reaching over the entire monstrosity, and with a single sweep lifted the tarp up.

The metallic coating of the ship looked almost brand new. It was covered with a thick layer of dust and grime, but otherwise un-dented and unmarred in any way. Long and slender, like a bullet, and dark and silent. Clark gave it a small touch, a single pet, and something inside hummed to life. "Here it is."

Lex crouched beside the ship, eyes caressing the aerodynamic form, the upswept fins, the sleek, smooth metal. "It's a beautiful work of art, Clark." He couldn't help touching it, and it warmed quickly, almost unnaturally so, under his fingers.

Clark nodded, quietly, and slowly got down onto his knees, using the ship as a handhold. A soft wince as he finally got to his knees, and he went into his wallet. The brown, old leather was almost falling apart, and Clark opened it carefully.

He removed a slender, small disk, and a smaller still rectangular metal piece. The rectangle opened up as soon as he slipped it out, snapping open all on its own. It lengthened, widened to the size of a small sheet of paper, and all the creases from where it had been folded disappeared and became a stainless piece of metal. The disk did much the same thing, opening and sealing off any irregularities, and Clark gazed at them in his hands without a word.

"Wow. That's... impressive, Clark." In the back of his mind, Lex reminded himself to buy Clark a new wallet before tomorrow. "Can I see them?"

"Yeah." Clark handed both over, the metallic octagon and the long rectangle. "The round one is the key. See, where it fits in that slot there? I’ve never... never tried it." Clark swallowed quietly. "The rectangle... I can’t read it. Its my language, though."

Lex ran delicate, dainty fingers over the octagonal piece of metal. The curves and corners weren't at all sharp as he turned it around, and he weighed it in his hands. "Maybe your ship can read it for you." He handed the key back. "Put it in."

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