The Memoirs

Lex had known Rory for less than twenty four hours, but already he was completely in love with her. The sight of his father holding her, a month premature and so little she barely filled the palms of Lionel's large hands.

So tiny she barely covered Lex's own hands when he held her.

She'd cooed at him, never cried, and kicked her feet for the brief moment he'd been allowed to hold her before the nurses had taken her back into the nursery, and his heart wanted to break, now that he was alone.

He could make a precious life for his father and Dominic, but he couldn't protect the life given to him and Clark. But then, looking down to see Aurora grinning up at him had made him realize that she was going to be part of the answer. There was going to be someone who depended on him now, who needed a big brother and who would love him as unconditionally as Clark did.

He was driving towards Chloe's house, now, because he'd promised to meet Clark there and see John, and he was shocked out of his thoughts when his cell phone rang shrilly in the quiet of the car.

"Hey, Lex. It's Bruce."

Said individual was sitting in his desk chair, feet up as he looked out the window at the pouring rain. It was torrential, the cold drops hitting the glass with force, and Bruce turned away from it with a sigh, already envisioning wet, squishy Bat leather.

"Bruce!" Lex's voice was tired, but still enthusiastic. "How are you?"

"Pretty good. Listen, I've got to talk to you about Victoria Hardwick… got a minute, or is this a bad time?"

"No, this isn't a bad time, I'm just on my way home from the hospital," Lex said, scrubbing over tired eyes. "Aurora was born early, but she's okay, and I'm stopping by to see Chloe's son John. What have you found out about Victoria?" he asked, all attention on his friend. "She's been asking to see Sir Harry lately."

"Congratulations," Bruce said, with feeling in his voice. He'd call Lionel tomorrow, to offer him the same, and then smiled. "Lots of babies born this week." But then he went on with business again. "Hardwick is being indicted on eight counts of criminal behavior, including kidnap, unlawful cloning, extortion, and drug trafficking. He isn't leaving jail for a long, long time--there's going to be hell to pay when the activist community hears about the cloning bit. Anyway, I called you to let you know that I've found a foster family for Victoria."

Lex slammed on the brakes at that, nearly getting rear-ended by a produce delivery truck behind him that Lex flipped off as it passed by him. "You what?"

"I found a foster family for her," he said, eyebrow raised at the squeal of tires in the background.

"Clark and I are her foster family," Lex said stubbornly.

At that, Bruce frowned. Deeply. "Lex, what's this about? Are you and Clark seriously considering keeping her?"

"I wasn't aware there was ever a doubt about that, Bruce," Lex said, frowning at the tone in Bruce's voice.

Shit. This was definitely not a conversation Bruce wanted to be having on the damn phone. "Lex, you're twenty three, and Clark's nineteen. You lost your son less than a year ago. Can you really tell me you and Clark are ready to care for a child? A child whom, I'm loathe to remind you, grew up to be a woman you fucked for the better part of a year?"

"What I did to Victoria has nothing to do with the young girl sitting at my mansion in her bedroom," Lex growled. "And yes, Clark and I are ready for it. Victoria's been good for the both of us. Clark's completely in love with her, and so am I. We're not going to give her up without a fight."

Bruce grit his teeth. "If you say so. I also called to let you know Dick will be there on Saturday for Pete, and if you decide to change your mind, call me."

"Wait. Dick's coming for Pete? What the fuck?"

"Pete's coming to live here."

"Since when?" Lex demanded.

"Since three days ago. I've rented him an apartment, close to the mansion."

"This is all bullshit, Bruce. You're one of my closest friends, but this is bullshit," Lex growled. "You can't come in and change things around to your liking."

"I'm not changing anything, Lex. I'm on the receiving end of the changes," Bruce snapped back, and hung up the phone with a ringing clang.

"Fuck!" Lex swore and tossed the cell phone down on the car seat, and shifted the Ferrari back into gear. He was going to have a nice, long talk with Clark, Shayla, and everyfuckingbody else when he got home, because he was not going to be out of the fucking loop any longer.

- = - = -

Smallville was beautiful in the fall.

It was possibly one of the only places left on earth that had a red autumn. The trees turned colors, the air nipped, the weather changed to winter once again. Clark liked it--it suited his mood. The earth dying, just as he felt, most of the time, that he was.

After Lex had told him about Bruce, Clark had left--he couldn't stand to stay. He had walked most of the fields, and had slept in his barn for the first time in a long time. After seeing Whitney, Lex coming home to tell them that Victoria was going to a real family had nearly broken him.

He felt fragmented. Part, but not whole. Chunked into pieces, cracked like stone, and expected to pick up his life and puzzle it all together, and he just... he couldn't.

That had been two days ago, and today was the day that Bruce was coming for Victoria. Clark had come home to hear Lex screaming on the phone, and had gone to their room, for a bath and bed.

Which was where he'd been for the last half of a day, and he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. It was hard enough to roll over in bed, let alone get out of it.

All the screaming Lex had done hadn't made a single bit of difference. Not to Bruce, and not to anyone else involved in the equation. The child welfare system didn't want Victoria with the Luthors, and they had been all too happy to contact Lex and notify him that if he didn't surrender the child to Mr. Wayne's custody, they would be forced to resort to a legal removal.

After a long talk with Clark and his father, Lex had agreed that a long, nasty legal battle would have done nothing but hurt Victoria, and they'd had to agree to let her go.

Her things were all packed from her room, boxes and duffel bags and suitcases full to brimming, a truck full of furniture and books, and he was currently sitting on the edge of the bed beside Clark. "She's going to be hurt if you don't come and say goodbye, Clark."

Clark barely heard him. There were marks like bruises under his eyes, his skin was too pale, and he felt like he'd never eat again. His throat, burning with bile and hate, didn't allow him to talk, only swallow.

Lex swung his feet up on the bed, scooting over to lay beside his lover as he propped his head up on his hand while the other rested on Clark's belly. "Clark. I know this is hard. It's not easy for me either, but this is something we have to do. For Victoria. We want her to be happy, and she's not going to be if you don't come down and say goodbye to her. And we have to help Pete finish packing his U-Haul."

Clark wasn't doing jack shit.

In fact, he was going to stay laying here, just as he was, for the next eternity. He was sure at some point, he'd die of the depression he was thoroughly wallowing in.

"Clark. Get up." Since asking wasn't doing any good, he was resorting to telling. "Get up and get dressed, and go downstairs and say goodbye to Victoria, before she starts to think that you don't love her."

Clark rolled over to his over side, away from Lex.

Lex followed. "Kal-El," he said. "Do this and honor your family. Jor-El is down there, as are our sha-nauch and our friends. Do you wish to shame your family by wallowing in your own upset, or do you honor your friends and family by saying farewell to them?"

Clark's chin trembled, and he could hear the truth in Lex's words, but he couldn't quite bring himself to get up. He didn't have the energy for anything. Not for trying to fool people, not for lying, not for saying goodbye, not for more loss, more loss.

Lex put his hand on Clark's shoulder. "You do have the strength," he said, offering his own through their link to combat the pervasive depression that seeped through Clark's end of it.

Clark embraced the strength Lex was offering him, hugging it close even as his eyes shined with tears he didn't think could fall. He had cried so much already, for so long. "Can we sleep, afterward?"

Lex nodded softly. "We can sleep afterwards."

It didn't seem to matter that it was one in the afternoon, to him. "Will you make love to me?"

Lex nodded again. "You don't even have to ask that, Clark. You know that I will make love to you."

"And make me forget?" Clark whispered, softly, his voice betraying him when it cracked. He exhaled loudly through his nose and rubbed his eyes with the heals of his hands, swallowing until he could force the lump in his throat down, even a little.

It was with his lovers strength, and his own, that he sat up, his body feeling much older than its 19 years, and he scrubbed his eyes again as he rose.

Lex wrapped his arms around his lover, and pulled Clark as close as he could manage. "I'll try and make you forget," he whispered softly, not letting go until Clark sat up, and then standing up beside him. "I'll do my best to give you anything you want."

Clark's face crumbled, and he inhaled wetly and stiffly, swallowing hard as he wrapped his arms around Lex's. "I don't know how much more of this I can take, Lex. I have to talk to someone, or I'm going to lose my mind."

"I know," Lex said softly, keeping his arms tightly around Clark. "You can talk to me, though I don't know how much help I'll be. Do you want to talk to your father?"

"It's not helping anymore," Clark said softly, and pressed his cheek to the side of Lex's arm. A tear trickled down his face to get caught in the stubble on his chin.

"Then you can talk to my father," Lex said. "He's been on every side of this--he's lost a child, he's seen a child leave him, and he's just had a child."

"I have to," Clark said, his voice thick. "I wish I were strong like you."

Lex gave a bitter little chuckle. "I'm not strong, Clark. I'm just... pretending." He squeezed his lover's hip. "I'm not as strong as you think; I just can't let anyone but you see how weak I really am." His grip tightened on Clark for just a moment, and then he kissed his lover's dam cheek. "We'll call my father after everyone is gone, and he'll come home and talk to you."

His breath shuddered in his chest as he looked up into his lovers face, and pressed their foreheads together. "I love you."

Lex closed his eyes as their foreheads touched. "I love you, Clark. I'm here for you."

Clark inhaled through his nose, wetly again, and nodded against his lover as he gave him one final squeeze and rose from the bed. He walked, in his old sweats and older t-shirt full of holes, to the closet to put some clothes on.

"You know, the green t-shirt brings out your eyes," Lex offered softly.

"The red brings out the bloodshot?" Clark asked softly, though he couldn't smile with his little joke. Instead he pulled on the green t-shirt, and his jeans, and shoved into his tennis shoes. His long hair was a mess but he didn't really care, just shoving it from his eyes and wrapping his arms around his own chest. "All right. Let's go."

Lex got up from the bed and went to the dresser, picking up Clark's hair brush and pushing him down to sit on the edge of the bed. He got on the bed behind Clark, and started to brush his hair out. "The red brings out the bloodshot," he agreed. "But the green makes you look beautiful."

He didn't want to look beautiful. He felt about as unbeautiful as it was possible to be.

And then Lex sat behind him and started trying to tug out the tangles and Clark just pressed his face into his hands as his shoulders shook.

Lex wrapped his arms around Clark's chest, putting the hairbrush down as he rocked with his lover. "Sssh... it's going to be okay, Clark. I don't know how yet, but it will be."

Clark took a deep, shuddering breath and rubbed his face with his palms and the sleeve of his t-shirt, clearing his throat and lifting his head to keep himself from getting comfortable. If he didn't let himself have a moment or privacy, he wouldn't get a chance to cry. So instead, he kissed Lex's mouth softly, swallowing and brushing the hair out of his face as he stood. "Come on."

Lex nodded. "Okay." He slid his fingers through Clark's and squeezed them tightly. "I think we've still got a cherry Icee in the freezer, if you want to take it down to her."

He nodded, bringing Lex's fingers to his lips to gently kiss. "When is Bruce getting here?"

"In an hour," Lex answered softly. "They'll be leaving shortly after that; Dick's slated to arrive a little after Bruce because Bruce came on the Wayne Enterprises jet and Dick drove the Camaro."

Clark swallowed, hard, and nodded, hugging Lex softly before taking his hands and leaving the room. They walked downstairs through the back stairs into the kitchen, where Clark got the cherry Icee, and though he almost burst into tears again, he managed to contain himself as, with Cleo prancing at his feet, they walked into the hall.

Lex followed Clark quietly, keeping his hand on the small of his lover's back the entire time.

The front hallway was filled with boxes, suitcases, and a big purple and pink teddy bear that was twice the size of the little girl sitting in it's lap as she giggled and squirmed under the rough tongues of two other puppies. "Clark!" she cried out.

Clark's entire body shuddered as he smiled, and though it was a trembling smile, it was a smile nonetheless. He crouched and offered his arms to her, to run into. "Hi, princess."

And run she did, smack dab into Clark's bricklike chest. "I missded you," she said with a little sniffle. "I was scared you wouldn't come say bye." She clung to him, arms around his neck. "Will you tell Soopermans bye for me too?" she asked in a quiet little voice. "Baldy says you knows him, and if I askeded real pretty, you'd tell him for me."

"I sure will, baby," Clark said, his voice a husky croak as he buried his face in her hair. "I'll him to come visit you one in a while, to make sure you're okay. And I'll come visit you too, what do you think?"

"YAY!!!!!" she squealed. "Superbear and I think that's GREAT!!" she said, doing a little dance in her Barbie jeans and Powerpuff girl shirt. "Youse gonna come now? Or you gonna waits until I get there?" she squirmed her way back into his lap after her little dance. "Baldy says that Mr. Bruce is gonna take good care of me til he gets me to my new family." She gave Clark a little conspiratorial look. "Don't need no new family. You my family, Clark. You and Baldy."

Clark's hands had begun to shake, and he thanked God Mrs. Bird was walking towards them, Pete and Dick trailing her, or he'd have burst into wretched sobs. "I'm going to... wait until you get there, but I promise I'll see you." He stroked her hair. "Baldy and I love you lots, sweetie, but you need a mommy. Don't you think? Someone to braid your hair real pretty, and play teacups with you, and know just what doll to buy."

Victoria gave Clark a look from under dark curls that screamed, you big dorkhead. "That's what Birdy lady is for!" she huffed, but squeezed his neck again anyway and looking distrustfully at Dick and Pete. "Who they?"

"That's Dick," Lex said softly, stroking his hand through Victoria's dark hair. "He's Mr. Bruce's friend, and he's early," he said with a little glare.

Dick was... glowering. In the best expression that he could have ripped off from Bruce. And he was glowering at *everybody* as he followed down the hallway, standing just behind Pete. "Lex, Clark." He gave the little girl a smile. "Miss Victoria."

Clark was about as pale as a ghost. He rose, Taking Victoria with him, to set her on one hip. "Hey," he said softly, offering his hand.

"Hey, Clark," Pete said softly, smiling at him a little before gently ruffling Victoria's bear's head. "Hey, Victoria. I know you don't know me, but Clark's told me lots about you."

Victoria stuck her tongue out. "Hi!" she chirped, keeping her arms around Clark's chest, still staring out distrustfully.

Dick looked at Lex, and spoke quietly. "Bruce is on the way; he'll be landing at the Smallville airfield in about ten minutes," he said. "We made good time; I'm sorry." He looked back at Clark. "He looks rough."

Lex gave Dick a disdainful sniff. "You thought that giving up Victoria *and* one of his best friends was perhaps going to be *easy* on him?" he demanded.

"Heya," Pete said to the child, and held out a jolly ranchers cherry lollipop. "I got this for you, thought you might like it. My little brother is your age...he loves these."

Clark was about to hyperventilate, but he was keeping a nice smile on his face, keeping his emotions in check as he watched them, quietly, eyes at a half mast.

"Thank you," Victoria said dutifully, then took the sucker and stuck it in Clark's pocket. "But Clark already give me my cee!" She stuck the sweating cup out towards Pete. "See??"

Dick didn't recoil, or apologize. "No, we didn't," is all he said. "We're done packing Pete's stuff, and Whitney's waiting outside to help us start bringing out Victoria's next."

Lex gestured expansively to the hallway filled with boxes and the like. "Please, help yourself. Don't let us stand in your way," he snapped.

Clark was just about to shudder out of his body, and he glared at Lex, pleadingly so, to *stop*. Instead he gently hugged Victoria to him and walked away from them, out onto the front stoop of the house, then down the stairs to where Whitney was waiting. He didn't want to see his ashimel anymore than he wanted to see Lex or Pete, but it was the worst of the two, so he did so. He sat on the bottom step of the porch stairs and set Victoria in his lap, gently hugging her and talking softly to her. "Will you write me lots of emails and call me lots of times?"

"Course I will. Baldy said that I can calls much as I wants to, and if my new family don't like it, he'll have a talk wif them about it and buy me my own phone!" She gave a little squeal. "I gets my own phone! And you be the only one that gets the number!"

Clark smiled, and there were tears caught in his lashes. "You know I love you a lot, right?" he asked, gently cuddling her close to him.

She nodded. "I loves you lots too, Clark," she answered, snuggling back into his chest. "I's gonna miss you lots. But Baldy's dad says that my daddy did lots of bad things here, and that I have to go away to be safe. I don't wants to go 'way, but I gots to."

Clark nodded tightly, gently stroking her cheek. "Yes, he did lots of bad things. But even though he did bad things, he still loves you, Victoria, and could hurt you because of it. We want to make sure you're safe, right? And besides, my friend Bruce knows Batman."

"Batsman scary," Victoria confided. "I likes Supersman better."

"He's pretty scary, but he's a good guy. He'll make sure you're safe," Clark confided back, and moved aside a little as Dick and Pete came down the steps with boxes in their arms. His voice wavered when he spoke. He'll always make sure you're safe."

She nodded. "Still likes Supersman better," she pouted, but she snuggled back against Clark's chest. "Promise you comes to visit?"

"I will, baby," he said, very softly, and kissed her hair. "Come on, let's get you settled in. What did you bring to do in the car... crayons and stuff?"

She pointed to a big pink bag sitting on the steps. "Dats my bag. I have crayons and books and paper, and Baldy gave me a phone to call you if I wants, and I have games in there, and music too, cause Baldy bought me a new music player and some music too! And Superbear is coming. He gets his own seat belt and everything. Baldy said Mr. Bruce wouldn't mind."

"No, he wouldn't mind," Clark said, and rose to his feet, Victoria and pink bag in hand, and hid his face in her hair for a moment before walking to the truck. He opened the second door to the back seat and gently made sure there was room for her, including her blanket and pillow, and made her a nest, making sure to buckle Superbear in too, where she'd made a little red cape for him. "There. Now, you."

Victoria waited until Clark had tucked Superbear in, and then she hugged his neck as tightly as she could. "I loves you, Clark. I miss you lots already."

"I loves you," Clark said, and this time his voice broke, badly, but he smiled anyway, hugging her tightly and kissing her cheeks. "I love you, baby. I'll see you soon, okay? Call me if you need me."

Victoria nodded, and when she settled herself in to the car, she was crying. "I call you when we gets there," she promised.

Clark saw her tears and brushed them away with his thumbs, even as the ones caught in his lashes tumbled down his face. "There. It's gonna be okay, honey, I promise. You can call me all you want on the way there, okay? Pete and Dick and Mr. Bruce are really, really nice people, and you'll like them. You'll see."

When Victoria saw Clark crying, she burst out into full-blown sobs. "I don't wants to go!" she yelled, and threw her arms back around Clark's neck.

Clark bit into his lower lip hard to keep himself from sobbing with her, instead hugging her tight, gently, tightly. "You have to go, baby. You have to have a mommy and a daddy and a puppy and a pretty house. I love you very much, but.." oh, god, "You can't stay here. It's not safe for you here."

"Yous can make it safe! Yous and Baldy and Supersmans can!" she wailed, still hugging Clark as hard as she could. "I wants to stay wif you!!!"

And what Clark said hurt him like he hadn't felt in a long, long time. "Well, we don't want you," he said, gruffly, and pushed away from her, though his very soul screamed at him for the action. "Be a strong girl, and go."

Her chin trembled, and she looked up at Clark, eyes wide and hurt, tears still spilling down her face. "Don' wants me?"

"No. You have to go to your new mommy," Clark said, and turned away from her, walking to the house. He held himself until he walked past Lex and Dick, and Pete too, and disappeared up the steps, his arms tightly across his chest.

Pete watched Clark go, wide eyed, and shot Lex a look before looking outside at the crying little girl sitting in the truck.

Victoria was sobbing as hard as she could, and she yanked the Superman bear that Clark had given her out of the seat belt and threw it on the ground beside the car as she cried.

Lex saw the teddy bear hit the dirt, and he sprinted after Clark instead, taking the steps two and three at a time to catch up with his aushna'. "Clark, wait."

Dick went over to the car, and picked the teddy bear up, and offered it back to Victoria. "You dropped this, sweetie," he said softly.

"Don' want it!" she yelled back, sniffling and choking as she cried. "Clark don' want me no more and I don't want his stupid stupid bear!!" She yanked it out of Dick's hands and threw it out the car window again.

Clark didn't want to wait. He wanted to hide, and though his eyes were blind, his feet carried him to their bedroom. It would be easier on her, like this. Easier. A little girl didn't understand, and he didn't want to make her more confused, or hate her new family. If Bruce had chosen them, they were good people.

Clark was going to lose his mind. He pushed his shoes off and crawled under the blankets, where he wanted to stay until the next millennium.

He closed his eyes, depression rolling over him, and felt the thuds of his quickly beating heart against his rib cage.

Lex didn't stop following, he just kept pace with Clark, following him upstairs. He didn't say anything else, just kicked off his own shoes as Clark did, and pulled back the blankets enough to slide under them. Once he was under, he wrapped his arms around Clark's waist and pulled him back, hugging Clark against his chest and resting his chin on Clark's shoulder.

Clark didn't even speak, just closed his eyes and held Lex's arms in his own. He couldn't even find the well of tears he'd had earlier--he couldn't do anything. He was so unspeakably depressed that he couldn't even find the energy to do more than hold Lex. "Easier. For her."

"But not for you," Lex answered softly. "She threw out the bear you gave her."

Clark's eyes clenched. "She's a little girl. She needs... for it to be easy. She doesn't understand."

"I know," Lex nodded. "I even understand why you did it."

"We can't continue on like this."

"I know that too," Lex said softly. "But I don't know what to do about it."

"We have to tell someone my secret. We need help," Clark said, quietly. "Its never healed--it's sitting there like a festering boil."

"Who do you want to tell? Who do you trust enough that doesn't already know?" Lex asked. "And I don't... I'm not saying that to make things harder on you, I just... who do you trust enough to tell this?"

"Every time someone nudges it, it hurts a little worst, and it gets a little more inflamed--it never goes away, it never heals by itself. It just gets bigger and bigger, until I can feel it between us, waiting to pop, and when it does I don't know what its going to take with it, Lex."

Lex just squeezed his lover's hand. "Okay, Clark. We'll find a way to take care of it. We will. I promise you. Because I don't want to lose you. I can't."

"I don't want to lose me either, or you, but I can't stop it. I tried, but I can't… I'm not strong enough. Lex, I can't do it--I was raised as a human, and so were you, and these emotions *aren't* human, at least not in origin. It's destroying us baby, can't you see that?"

Lex pressed his lips gently against Clark's shoulder. "All I can see is, my aushna' is destroying himself and I don't know how to stop it."

"I don't even know why I'm sad," Clark whispered to him. "Mar-El, yes. But that's not all of it… I don't.." He rolled away from Lex's arms and sat up, stroking his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry." Lex moved across the bed, putting his arms around Clark's waist as he sat on his knees behind him. "You've got nothing to be sorry about."

Clark heard the rev of an engine, and knew Pete and Dick were on their way out. "Bruce is probably here," he said, in a small voice. "Go and talk to him. I'll be here."

Lex shook his head. "I'm not going to leave you, Clark. Not when you need me."

"I need to be alone," Clark said, quietly, glancing back at him, and then lifting Lex's hand to his lips to gently kiss. "Go. I'll be okay."

Lex kissed the back of Clark's head gently as Clark kissed his hand. "Are you sure? Bruce can go fuck himself; you're more important to me right now."

"I'm sure," he said. He kissed Lex's fingers again, then turned for his mouth. "Come back to me after, okay? Make me forget."

Lex returned his lover's kiss deeply, sweetly, firmly. "I will, Clark. I promise. If you need me, call me. I'll come."

He nodded and gently licked his tongue over Lex's lower lip, nibbling softly before letting go. "I love you, Lex."

"I love you, Clark." He brought Clark's hand to his chest, let him feel the heartbeat there. "I'll be back as soon as I can. I promise."

- = - = -

His things were packed. His mail had been forwarded. The cash he'd gotten for his car was still hot in his wallet, some of it already used but most of it still with him. His room had been emptied, and he'd left a note for his parents when they got back from the church social.

He had all his stuff, clothes, cell phone and laptop--everything that was Pete Ross was sitting in the trailer behind the truck. Dick was sitting beside him, about as attainable as a dream, and Victoria was sobbing in the back seat into her Barbie pillow.

He was leaving.

Rather than fill him with dread, Clark's reaction to him, or lack thereof, had further cemented his need to leave. He felt liberated in a way he hadn't for a very big portion of his life, free to do what he wanted. No threads were left untied.

And if he envisioned a shiny blond head of hair in one of the windows of the mansion as they drove away, he shook it away.

It really wasn't Pete's imagination.

Shay had watched from her room as Pete packed everything in the U-Haul trailer, emblazoned with huge stalks of corn and God knew what else as representative of Kansas.

And even though she knew that Pete couldn't see her and probably wouldn't want to even if he could, she waved at him through the window as she watched the dust raise as they drove away.

- = - = -

Bruce was an impatient individual. When he was rushed, he was rushed, and he hated waiting for anyone. That didn't stop him from waiting for Lex, of course, albeit deeply impatiently. He stalked the length of the office, over and over, after having called Lionel to wish him congrats and tell him he was taking the copy of the expense account with him to review.

And now he was waiting.

Impatiently.

And Lex really didn't give a damn how impatiently Bruce was waiting. He had had things to do--like make sure Ms. Bird had plenty of orange juice on hand for Clark, he'd ordered several dozen cookies to be sent to the house to wait for when he woke up, just in case he was hungry. He'd picked up Superbear from the dirt before they'd left and convinced Victoria to take the bear with her, and gotten a teary, sticky hug in return. He'd given her a list of all their phone numbers, and told her to call whenever she wanted to, and to let them know when she got to Gotham City okay.

It was then, and only then, after everything else that Lex needed to take care of was taken care of, that he went to meet Bruce at LuthorCorp.

And he made it, almost a half hour after Bruce did, and threw open the office doors to find Bruce stalking impatiently. "If you wear a hole in my carpet, you're paying for the replacement," is all he said, settling down. "And don't tell me you didn't get the report--Mr. Knight should have given that to you as soon as you came in."

Bruce lifted the folder that had the report in it without saying anything, and instead glared at Lex, scrutinizing. He knew he and Clark had sent Victoria off this morning, and though intimacy made him uncomfortable, he said, "I apologize, Lex, for everything you've had to go through."

"Don't," Lex said, before Bruce could get out any more than he already had. "Apologize for what this is doing to Clark."

Bruce frowned, but didn't say anymore for a moment. "How is Knight working out?"

"He's... working. Dominic doesn't like his attitude and neither does my father, and he and I have butted heads about the way he treats Clark, but he's working out well other than that. I'm looking forward to getting him into position as my assistant when Dominic comes back to work, because I think Mr. Knight and I are going to work well together."

Bruce didn't bother saying that Knight looked exactly like Clark--he figured that was already a sore spot, so he inclined his head. "I'd better get going--I have a meeting at five thirty. I'm... look, Lex, I'm sorry."

"You should be," is all that Lex said. "You should be sorry that you decided to take Victoria away on the same day that Clark was losing one of his best friends. You should be sorry that you couldn't be inconvenienced enough to do it on two different days. You should be sorry, Bruce, that you've made him cry by taking that little girl away when nobody asked you to."

Bruce's hackles rose, at that. "Lex, you can't keep a four year old little girl just because you like her. Have you not been reading the Times? The Inquisitor, the fucking Daily Planet? They're having a field day over it--it's all come out, the whole ugly story." he slapped a newspaper on the desk between them. "I wouldn't be surprised the media is on the way here already, if they're not in town by now."

On the cover, Lex, Clark and Victoria shopping in Metropolis was on the cover, obviously taken that day.

"They're saying you're taking in strays, Lex. This isn't about you, for once--it's about the little girl. She shouldn't grow up in this shit, didn't you and I?"

"You don't think that Clark and I could protect her? Yes, we're taking in strays, goddammit. Clark was a stray for all intents and purposes, and look how well he turned out? What's it to you, or to anyone else in this fucking world if Clark and I want to do the same thing, and give that little girl a chance to be with people who love her, and who don't want to fuck her up and turn her into a duplicate of the person she was cloned from?" Lex demanded.

He picked up the newspaper and pointed out the picture. "Look at that. Look at the smile on her face, on Clark's face. Both of them were *happy* that day." Then he threw the paper back down himself and glared at his friend. "Now look at them. Victoria's brokenhearted because Clark had to tell her that he didn't want her so that she'd go. Clark's brokenhearted because he had to hurt Victoria. Everyone is crying, miserable and sad, but yes, this is *better* for her," Lex snarled. "*So* much better."

"You're blinded by your pain, Lex," Bruce said back, but his voice, rather than angry, was a little sad. "You'll see, one day. I need to go," and with that, he turned, and whisked out of the office, the folder clutched in hand.

"See how good it is to watch my mate self-destruct in front of me?" Lex yelled after him, and when the doors shut, Lex threw one of the glass paperweights from the desk to shatter against the heavy oaken doors.

 

-fin-

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