The Memoirs

Lex was staring, fascinated, at the numbers in front of him.

He had been studying them for the last half hour.

Because he had absolutely no fucking idea how it had happened.

Theories? He had. Lots of them, in fact. Suspicions? Quite a few more. But as for actually *knowing?*

He didn't have a clue in hell how he had suddenly gained two and a half inches of height in the last month or so.

Clark was sitting on the cold metal table behind his lover, watching him study the numbers, and knew, beyond a doubt, this was because of him. "We really shouldn't have had sex, Lex. Now none of your pants fit in the crotch or in the leg. You're gonna have to buy a whole new wardrobe."

Lex waved it away. "Nonsense, Clark. It's not like I didn't need to upgrade my closet anyway," he answered. "If you want, you can call Rico now and tell him and Aden to reserve Tuesday for me, because we're going to have to have them come down and refit me." His hand pointed in the vague direction of the phone as he looked at his blood chemistry tests.

"Wonder what they're gonna say about the fact that your inseam has doubled," Clark answered, but hopped down from the table and grabbed the phone. Instead of the table he slid into a stool, hooking his feet on the bottom rungs, and after a moments thought, dialed Rico's number from memory.

Rico was in the middle of pulling down three boxes of hair colorant, gel, and mousse from the store-room when the phone rang. He cursed quite colorfully as the contents of all three boxes came cascading down like a waterfall as he hopped over them, crushing only one bottle underfoot as he finally grabbed the cordless from the base on the wall. "This better be fucking good," he growled into the private line.

"Oh, it is. I've heard from many that it's gorgeous--when I find my stroke I've been known to bring men to tears," Clark deadpanned, then grinned broadly at the irritated voice on the other end. "Hey, Rico. It's Clark."

"Hey, little mouse," Rico said with a grin. "What can I do for you, lovely?" He picked up one of the spongy curl rollers and bounced it off the back of Aden's head. "Pick up the phone, Aden, it's Clark, on the private line."

Aden "Ow!'ed and picked up the extension on the desk, as he crouched down to the shower of mousse bottles that had fallen. "Hey, Clark!"

"Heey, guys. It's nice to talk to you, it's been a while."

"Yes it has," Rico said, bumping Aden's hip with his own. "The last time we were with the two of you, you left *us* high and dry at Brandywine and swept out of there with Clark on your arm like the High King of the World," Rico pouted.

"Someone dropped a roofie in my drink," Clark lied, so easily it almost scared him, but his voice didn't even waver. "I spent the night passed out in Lex's penthouse. Did you guys get our gift?"

"We did, thank you, Clark," Aden said, a little shyly now. "You should see the old queens who come in here to get their hair cut and use the drying machines."

"Oooh, no wonder the club got shut down," Rico oohed. "I'm surprised Lexie hasn't killed someone by now." He scritched his fingers gently through Aden's hair. "It was very generous of you, Clark."

"Its from Lex, I just stole half the credit," Clark said, with a smile. "Listen, I was calling to ask you something." He got up from the stool and plopped on the table top, stretching out on his back, ankles crossed. "Lex wanted to know if you guys would come up and do a fitting for him...he needs some new clothes. And I wanted to know if you guys would maybe see if you could cut my hair for me. Its a mess."

Rico raised an eyebrow. "Do we get to feel you--fit you, I mean--while we're there? Or are you all set?" he asked teasingly. "Tell Lexie of course we can, just tell us the day and we'll close the salon and be all his."

Clark couldn't help cracking a small smile. "I'm all right. I need some more jeans though, if you guys are… up… to it." He nodded. "Hold on a sec." He set the phone down against his chest. "Lex, what day do you want Rico and Aden to come?"

"Um... Tuesday is fine," Lex said from the table. "Yeah, Tuesday. And tell him to keep his hands off your crotch," he added.

Rico bumped Aden again. "Hear that? We're going to Smallville again!"

"See you Tuesday then, Rico!"

Rico grabbed a pen from Aden's apron pocket and scribbled it on the back of his hand. "Right. Tuesday. What time, mouse?"

"About five. I get home from school at three, and Lex at four, so that'll be enough time for Lex and I to shower and get ready for you. We'll take you guys out to dinner, if you guys don't have to be back in Metropolis until Wednesday."

"It's our half-day," Rico chirped. "We don't have to have the salon open until noon."

"Awesome. We'll see you then," Clark said, and hung up the phone. "They're coming at five on Wednesday, Lex," Clark said, for his lovers distracted benefit.

"Tuesday," Lex corrected absently, then looked up from his blood test results. "I have trace amounts of one of your hormones still in my blood system," he said. "Based on the breakdown, I'd have to guess that this happened about the time we had sex before John was born, and apparently, there's enough mutation in my physical cells as well as in my bond with you that triggered changes in my body."

Clark's lips twitched. "I was seeing if you were listening," He said, and sat up again, one leg hanging off the side of the table as he looked at his lover. "Do you think anything else is going to change? Sprouting a third eyeball, or something?"

Lex rubbed his eyes. "No, I don't, but then again, I don't know for sure. I'd guess that nothing that hasn't happened to you won't happen to me, so if you're safely through growing without having sprouted anything new, then chances are I won't either."

Clark shook his head, eyes widened the slightest bit. "Didn't grow anything, no." He shoved some of his hair out of his face. "Anything you can do? Need to run more tests or anything?"

Lex shook his head. "No, I think I've run all the tests that I need to run," he said. "I've got enough results here to keep me busy for the next thirty years or so."

"Awesome. Come here," Clark said, a thread of command in his voice as he held his hand out.

Lex responded without thinking, getting up out of his chair immediately, not even pausing to flick off the microscope as he took Clark's hand in his own, kissing the palm before sitting on the low chair beside the table, looking up at his lover.

"Ohh no," Clark said, and pulled at Lex's hands, tugging at them until Lex was seated on the heavy steel table with him. Clark crossed his legs Indian style in front of him, and waited for Lex to do the same. "I've... had a lot of time to think these last two weeks. Ever since I matured, and all the come in my belly worked its way out, I've had... strange thoughts. I don't know how else to explain them, but it's like there's another layer in my head, something I haven't felt before. An awareness, almost. I can feel you, in a way I can't through our link."

Lex climbed nimbly up onto the table at Clark's urging, and folded his legs under him until he was settled in the same way Clark was. Their hands clasped, and Lex kissed each one of Clark's fingers as he thought. "I know," Lex said softly. "I thought it was just me, just my abilities screwing up again, but I'm glad to know it's not."

Clark shook his head, pushing his hair out of his eyes again with his shoulder, wishing for a rubber band but ignoring it for the moment as he squeezed Lex's hand tightly. He brought one hand to his lips, and cleared his throat. "The thing is, I think I can do some things with it. I don't know yet, but… no one's waiting for us, and your lab is really private. We could...maybe see why you're growing?"

Lex nodded. "Of course; you know that I'm always game, Clark. I'd love to find out why this is happening to me, and if you can do this, then we need to."

"Dunno how it works, so... put up with me, kay? I won't hurt you," Clark assured, kissing his lovers fingers gently before tangling them together and squeezing. He closed his eyes, exhaling softly, and one hand moved down to the mark on his lovers am, gently stroking it as he urged Lex's to his. "Let me concentrate, all right?"

Lex moved his hand to cover his mark. "All right," Lex murmured softly. "You won't hurt me, I trust you." He followed Clark's lead again, closing his eyes and regulating his breathing. "If it would help I can meditate," he offered softly.

"No... stay open to me. Think about.." his voice lowered, and he smiled the smallest bit. "About the night before we became lovers."

"The slumber party," Lex said back, just as quietly. "The videos, the popcorn, the pile of pillows on the floor. The first time we shared a bed."

"The hard on you pretended I didn't have," Clark teased, a smile tickling his lips as he thought. He went in through their link, thickly layered now, and gently swept into it, concentrating on his breathing and the joy and amusement he felt at that particular memory.

"The hard on I didn't bother hiding," Lex teased back, letting the memories float forward through his brain. "How good it felt to wake up at three in the morning beside you, how close I came to fucking you awake before I realized who you were," he murmured. "I still wanted to, even after I moved away."

"I was asleep against you," Clark murmured, eyes shut, voice husky and deep and totally unlike how he usually sounded as he struggled to gently sift through the roots of himself. "I woke up rubbing against you... coming against you..."

"I felt that," Lex said softly. "I felt you shivering, I could smell it, I knew you'd come and that's why I didn't question you coming over the next morning, I knew you had to, I wanted you to more than I could express."

"It felt so good. It was so exciting, and so terrifying, and I couldn't stop getting hard. I think I stayed on my belly that night entire," Clark growled, his voice shifting to his natural language and his words, whistling and melodic and warm, murmured to himself about "Looking, looking, aushna'."

"I looked at you," Lex confessed, language switching without realizing it, keeping calm and pressing his palm down harder against his mark. "When I went to refill the popcorn bowl, I saw you rubbing against the blankets, I knew you had come for me. I liked it."

Clark groaned softly at the word, and the sharpening of his lust addled brain helped him shift another link aside, as he nudged more into Lex's territory, eyes closed and breathing slightly erratic, though it was more from what they were talking about than what he was doing. "I came so hard, aushna', as if I had been hard for hours."

"I wanted to see it myself, with my own eyes," Lex answered, the hand not covering his mark rubbing Clark's thumb gently. "You were lucky to leave untouched that night."

"To come back the next day and take you over your desk, Kenep?" Clark murmured, eyes opening, vivid green in his face, to dance as he gently plucked at the thread to get his lovers attention to it, in their minds. "Found it."

Lex's eyes stayed closed as he latched onto it, stroking Clark's awareness with his own and cementing the thread a little more strongly with his own abilities. "There it is." He prodded at it gently, and he got the sensation of having been given a raspberry. "I don't think it likes me."

Clark's lips twitched. "Because it's you. The part that's mutating. Don't prod it too hard. Do you see, Kenep? Look, watch the colors. Lower in the thread there's a sharp spike of blue in the silver, as if it depressed, and then white as it let go. That's what happened to your penis. Then up... look up at the top."

Lex stopped prodding it, and felt like he was getting a sarcastic glare in return. "You're right, I think it is me," he said with a little laugh. But he followed it, the silver swirling near the top with--and why was he not surprised to find this?--purple, and the purple spiked up, just like the blue had, but it had also spread widely, just a little bit, nudging the silver to spread itself thinner. "Apparently I'm growing wider, taller, and longer. Growth in three dimensions."

"Yes. It's not done yet." Clark's eyes met Lex's, watching both what was going on inside his mind and Lex. "Do you think... do..."

"Do I think what?"

"Because you fucked me. When we were... when I was maturing. Do you think your body is conforming itself to protect me?"

Lex considered, watching the silvers and blues and purples and whites swirl together. "It's... possible," he said, and when he admitted it, the colors swirled together faster, all moving in concert. "I think it agrees with me."

Clark nodded, and lapsed back into English now that the connection had stabilized. "Which is why your dick got longer before anything else… to make sure to..." And at this, his concentration wavered a little and he blushed apple red as he cleared his throat and said in a small voice, "to impregnate me." He cleared it again, frustrated at *that* ego blow, but straightened his back the smallest bit. "And now everything else… do you think you'll get as big as me?"

"I certainly hope not, because that would create some very troublesome questions," Lex answered, leaning forward to rub his cheek against Clark's neck by instinct. "I think I got bigger to make sure you would stay fed, but the need passed before the hormone could enlarge me completely--because remember, it got my testicles first and then my cock finally caught up with it."

"Bad questions," Clark answered, concentrating on the thread and noticing pink veins along it that ended right at the purple explosion. "I think it's done, too. Three inches in three weeks. Not bad, Lex."

"Not bad at all, but I'm glad it's stopped." He concentrated on it being *done* and the pink veins flared softly.

Clark gave a low sound as the gentle twinge rolled through him, and it pleased and aroused him both. "Let me get us out."

Lex nodded. "You're the expert," he said, and the entire field of color was tinged with yellow amusement.

Clark grinned and pulled back, slowly but carefully, rearranging all the threads, one after another, slowly and carefully until he put the very last one back in place, and exhaled low in his throat, the sound tinged with a low, desperate moan. "Okay. And this is now the part where we grope?"

"God, yes, I hope so," Lex said, suiting action to word as he crawled across the table, wrapping his legs and arms around Clark's waist and squeezing tightly as his mouth went to suck on a strong throat.

Clark made a high, overjoyed sound in his throat and grinned in delight as he grasped his lover tight with his thighs and brought that delicious mouth up to his own. He kissed him, furiously, deeply, fingers stroking over his naked head as he held him closer. He couldn't explain why his lovers body conforming to his needs made him so unbearably randy but it did, and his cock was stone and this felt so *good*. Lex tasted like heaven, his body was heaven under his hands, and Clark set out to make his lover sing. His fingernails raked up over his back to grasp great handfuls of his shirt and hold him tightly, kissing and kissing until he couldn't breathe, until there was nothing but fire.

As soon as he realized he could he let his lovers shirt go with one hand and wet down, to cup his cock and balls and *squeeze* through his trousers just like his lover liked, trousers that were much too small and Clark could feel his lovers entire package clearly through the linen of his pants. He scraped along the tip, trying to rise into his hand, and cupped the tenting prick, gently scratching as his legs wrapped around his lovers back.

Lex's hips thrust against Clark's teasing hand, pushing his cock against the warmth of Clark's palm as it cupped him, whimpering when he couldn't feel flesh on his shaft like he wanted.

He tightened his legs on Clark's waist as he kissed his lover deeply, sucking Clark's tongue as hard as he could, his fingers fisting in Clark's hair as his body shuddered in his lover's lap. The nails over his back were too delicious and he arched backwards into them, inviting more as he rocked against Clark's crotch.

Yeah, right.

Clark grinned, broadly, up at his lover and wiggled out from under him, squirming until he got off the table. He crooked a finger at him wickedly, dimples winking on in his cheeks as his free hand reached down to lewdly grope his own cock. And hiss, in gorgeous pleasure.

Lex whimpered again, glaring at his aushna' as he slid off the table, grabbing the edge to balance himself for a quick moment before straightening up and stalking over to his lover. He slid his hand down to rub over Clark's cock, squeezing gently.

"Ahh... no, no, no." He tsked in his throat. "This is nowhere to have *sex*, Lex. Delicate machinery, cold metal. You could break something, or worse. Is that how you want to thank those nice men who installed a brand new lab for you? Hmm?"

"I don't give a shit about those people. This lab is the perfect place to have sex. We had sex on the last lab table."

"We had sex on it when it was still mildly comfy. Your new one was made for the dead," Clark teased, as he pulled Lex out of the lab and up the steps. This lab led right up into a private study in the back of the house, and then out, and it was ohso private, and... "Lex," he purred, low in his throat, pushing Lex up against the wall and slithering oh-so slowly down his body. "I've been meaning to ask you something."

Lex put his hands on Clark's shoulders, pushing him down and bracing against them at the same time as he shuddered. "Yes? Ask... ask me, Clark."

"I want.." he unbuttoned Lex's pants enough for the huge cock to spring forth, purple and abused with confinement, and licked a strip from root to tip. "To fuck in public. In your car. In the Talon bathroom. In your office. Where anyone... could find us," he hissed, sucking at the tip before letting his lovers balls pull free, licking and nipping at them reverently before up, to trace the slit again, wetting him all over as his fingers squeezed his ass cheeks.

"Right now?" Lex moaned, his knees buckling just a little as Clark squeezed his ass and licked over his cock. He gripped the bookshelves behind him tightly to keep his balance, and he thrust forward, rubbing the head of his cock against Clark's lips and teeth.

"We're fucking in public already, Lex," Clark murmured, his voice a rumble as he suckled teasingly at the cock head, then down down down the vein and over the balls, licking and suckling gently. He pulled one in his mouth, gave it a gentle suckle, before looking up. "Enrique… Ms. Bird… Phillip... your dad or Dominic... Shayla... all could pass this hall, right here under the stairs, and see me sucking you off." He gave a hard, long suckle at that. "Drawing your orgasm out of your balls, letting you fuck my face."

Lex groaned sharply at that, moving his hands forward to grip Clark's hair and hold his head still. "Christ, Clark," he gritted out, his hips thrusting into Clark's mouth. "Didn't know... didn't know you could talk like this."

An innocent glint flickered into Clark's eyes. "Me neither." But he resumed licking the head, the hot, slick, salty head, and murmured in pleasure over it as he finally fell quiet, covered his mouth over his lover, and sucked him in to the root. He tipped his head back, splaying back onto his rump with his feet curved around him, and sucked hard, forcing his lover into a position to fuck his throat raw.

Which Lex was very, very glad to do.

His fingers tightened in Clark's hair, yanking him forward and pushing his head back as Lex thrust into him, fucking Clark's throat, pushing in to the hilt so that his balls bounced off Clark's chin with every stroke.

He kept his fingers tight in Clark's hair, letting his head fall back as his eyes squeezed closed, always shoving forward.

Clark groaned as Lex pushed past his barely existent gag reflex and started to fuck him hard. It was just what he wanted and his hands held Lex's thighs tight as his lover thrust, fast and hard into him. It was stunning pleasure, and he opened his eyes to look up at his lover, knowing the image he made. Down on his knees, back arched like a bitch in heat, mouth filled to overflowing with cock and his own erection, leaking in his pants.

It made him moan, at his own submission, and how fucking hot it was.

Lex opened his eyes to look down at his lover, and met big green orbs staring back at him.

It just caused Lex to thrust harder into Clark's throat, yanking him forward as his full balls twitched as he started to come, pouring his load down his lover's throat.

Clark grinned around Lex's cock as he sucked, hard, pulling the orgasm from him as hard as he could, fingers stroking tense balls and eyes closing as his throat began to work to take it all down.

Lex's fingers didn't loosen in his lover's hair as he kept Clark pulled down onto his cock, listening to the swallowing and grunting every so often as Clark's throat tightened around him.

Clark swallowed as much as he wanted to before pulling out, keeping a bit in his mouth. He carefully licked his lovers cock until nothing else came out, and cleaned his lover up. Over his cock, down his balls, licking every bit of him until he was tucked back into the too-tight pants. He gently pet it as it slithered down his lovers leg, kissing it through warm fabric, before he climbed back to his feet for a kiss.

Where he shared what he'd kept in his mouth, pushing it into Lex's and sealing his mouth over his lovers, forcing him to swallow the sticky, slightly sweet stuff as he kissed him.

And grinned.

Lex swallowed it eagerly, nibbling Clark's tongue as he did and sliding his legs between Clark's and rubbing his thigh against his lover's cock. His hands bunched in Clark's shirt as he rubbed against his lover, and he whimpered, deep in his throat.

Clark grinned at him again and eased away, shaking his head and kissing his lovers mouth. He leaned back against the wall opposite the little alcove he had just sucked his lover off in, unbuttoned his pants, and slid a hand inside to fist his hard cock. he stroked slowly, licking his lips as he looked at his lover, hips rising into the steady thrust of his hand.

Lex crossed the little alcove too, trying to bat Clark's hand out of the way so that he could stroke instead, nibbling along Clark's collarbone hungrily.

Clark grinned, all wickedness, and offered Lex his cock peaking through the row of undone jean buttons, eyes dancing as he looked at Lex, driven to distraction. He grasped his lovers shoulders and turned him into the wall, within seeing distance of the front door, and hoisted Lex's legs up around his waist as he offered his lover his fingers to suckle, their cocks, one clothed and one not, stroking against each other.

Lex tightened his grip around Clark's waist as Clark's cock stroked against his, and his mouth opened eagerly, head ducking to completely suck Clark's fingers into his mouth.

His tongue licked and laved hungrily over every digit, sucking at the nail before nibbling down to the knuckle and tonguing every inch of the long fingers, slurping around them as his teeth dragged the outside edges.

His hips thrust fiercely, rubbing their cocks together with a hard, regular rhythm as he balanced against the wall.

"Lex," He whispered, and now some of the amusement left him as the hot rub of his lovers cock made him shudder and tremble. "Your pants are ruined anyway, right?"

Lex nodded. "Yeah, they are, they're too short, too tight, gonna have to be replaced *please* rip the goddamned things off," he answered.

An incredibly loud ripping noise tore through the house, just as Dominic bumped the fridge closed with his hip, Aurora in arm, and gently shook the warmed milk from the stove pan to make sure it was warm enough. He glanced up, then, at Ms. Birds astonished face, and said, as he ambled out in his cozy slippers, robe, and diaper bag thrown over his shoulder. "Don't go past the east hall for the next, oh, ten minutes, Ms. Bird."

"Chu say dat like I could not figure it out for myself," she huffed, setting the empty milk warming pan into the sink for washing once it cooled down. "I am keeping de pizzas varm for vhen dey finish."

- = - = -

Clark was… nervous. So nervous. He hadn't felt like this for quite some time, but he felt it now, jittering all the way in his toes. Instead of going home after school he'd walked to the neighborhood Whitney and Chloe were living in, his sha'nauch who he hadn't seen at all since John was born, barely anyway.

He was standing on the walk, thinking about whether he should knock or not, for a good ten minutes, before he gathered his bravery and courage enough to hoist his book bag higher on his shoulder, walk up the steps, and ring the bell.

Whitney was in the kitchen, humming to himself as he held John against his shoulder. The television was on in the living room, the coffee table was spread out with Chloe's pamphlets for the GED programs as well as his paperwork from the store. "Just a second," he yelled, as soon as he heard the bell, and shifted John against his shoulder. "Come on, little Fordman."

It only took him a few long strides to get to the door, and he opened it. "Clark!" he said, surprised to see his ashimel. "Come on in. Chloe's out at the grocery store, so I'm keeping John, but if you want to wait for her, I can take John for a walk."

Clark didn't jerk at the offhand remark about taking John. He didn't. Instead he plastered a smile on his face and shook his head. "Hi, Whitney. I just… ah… came to see you guys. Is this... bad time?" He asked, motioning at the chaos going on inside the house.

"No more so than usual." He stepped out of the doorway so Clark could come in. "Come in, if you want, and have a seat. I've just got my papers spread out over Chloe's." John gave a little cry on Whitney's shoulder, and he kicked a foot. "uh oh. We've got a diaper situation. Sit down, I'll be right back." Whitney cut through the kitchen and down the hallway towards the bathroom. "I'm glad to see you," he yelled out as he started to change John's diaper. "It's been awhile!"

Its been a while. Christ. Clark realized, as he sat down there on Chloe's perfectly plumped pillows, just how far a rift he'd driven between the four of them, and how hard it was going to be to repair it. He set his bag down beside him, scraping his nails through his hair to push it back and tie it at the nape of his neck with a rubber band to keep it out of his face.

And rubbed his eyes. Christ.

"Uh… it's been okay. How are you?"

"Tired, but I don't mind," Whitney yelled, still in the bathroom with John. "He hasn't been sleeping through the night, and I've been waking up with Chloe, trying to help keep him warm, dry, fed, and rocked back to sleep."

"Loving every minute, I'd bet."

Oh, yeah." Once John was dry and re-diapered, Whitney came back out into the hallway, then stopped in the kitchen. "Want something to drink? We've got milk--not breast, don't worry--water, soda, and orange juice," he offered.

"No, thanks, that's all right." He shifted nervously for a moment before falling silent.

"Okay." Whitney came into the living room and sat on the couch, a few cushions away from Clark and laid John very carefully in the little soft-sided bassinet they'd gotten for the living room. Once he was sure that his son was settled, Whitney turned at looked at Clark. "What can I do for you?" he asked softly.

Clark's fingers dug into the thighs of his jeans. "Nothing. I just... needed to see you." Coming here had been a bad, BAD idea, but even if they never spoke again, he'd have to say his piece. "I'm sorry. For the way I've acted the last few weeks."

Whitney just gave a little shrug. "I understand that John makes you feel strangely, Clark. I do get that. Which is why I haven't pushed the fact that you and Lex are his godparents and haven't been by to see him or anything. But I'm not going to hide John like he's something I'm ashamed of, no matter how much I miss you. He's my son, Clark, and I want you to be a part of his life."

Clark looked down at his lap in shame. "You shouldn't be ashamed of him. I never meant to make you feel you should be."

"I don't know what else I was supposed to think," Whitney said quietly. "You can't be near him, you can't look at him, and what else am I supposed to think when my ashimel can't be near my son?"

The words hurt him, because the truth was so sharp. He was terrified of the boy, *terrified* of him, and Clark didn't know how to properly explain that without making an ass of himself. "I've acted selfishly. I'm sorry, Whitney."

Whitney just... sighed, and put his head in his hands for a minute. "Clark... you don't have to be sorry. I know why you can't be around him, and hell, why you can't be around me for that matter. John reminds you of Mar-El and you hate me because I have my son and you don't. Dumb here, not blind."

Clark's throat tightened. "No. I don't hate you, Whitney. I don't hate your son. I'm just like the grim--I'm not the person anyone should have around babies."

"That's bullshit and we both know it," Whitney replied conversationally.

"What?"

"That you don't hate me or my son, and that you shouldn't be around children. Come off it, Clark. You *should* be around children, *my* child most especially, because of what you mean to me and Chloe, and what you are to him. You are part of John's family."

Clark swallowed, and looked down at his knees. "I don't hate you," he said, quietly.

"Then why can't you look at me?" Whitney asked simply. "Why can't you look at John and see how beautiful he is, how innocent he is, and how much he could love you if you would just let him?"

Clark ran a hand over his face, over his mouth, and swallowed the bile in his throat back down to where it belonged. What the hell. "I'm terrified of him."

"Why? Clark, he's just a baby." Whitney reached over and lifted his son gently, cradling him like a precious object against his chest.

"He's not just a baby. He's life and passion and inspiration. He's a life you created, something inside of you that made him. He's yours, from his hair to his nails, and he loves you unconditionally, just because you're his dad. He loves you, and that's a precious thing. No, Whitney. He isn't just a baby. He's the product of the love you and Chloe share."

"Now you get it," Whitney said softly. "Now you get why it hurts *me* that you can't love *him.* Because he *is* a part of me. And if you can't love my son, Clark, then that means there's a part of me you can't love."

"You don't understand," Clark said softly, and stood, bag in trembling hands. "I love him more than I can bear, but I won't have you lose him like I lost Mar. I can't be near him, Whitney."

Whitney held out his son quietly, soothing him with little kisses and strokes.

Clark shook his head, almost frantically, backing up a step.

"If I thought for a second that you were going to hurt my son, then do you think that I would let you hold him?" Whitney asked.

Clark's hands were shaking like mad. "I don't mean to do it, but it happens all by itself."

"My son is not your son," Whitney said softly. "John is healthy, and whole."

"No. John is nothing like my son," Clark said, holding back the flinch as he stared down at his hands that were still trembling. "I just wanted to apologize to you. So, I'm sorry."

Whitney still kept John cradled to him, supporting him carefully as he held him out to his ashimel. "Nothing is going to happen to him if you hold him, Clark," Whitney continued softly. "You're not going to kill my son."

Clark looked at John for a moment, squirming, soft baby, tiny and breakable and he swallowed at the tense knot in his throat as he took the baby in his arms.

So small. He smelled of... of baby, wet and soft and powder, and Clark's eyes filled with tears as he looked down at the tiny face, with soft blond hair and scrunched mouth and little fingers peaking from the blanket, and his heart broke.

John gave a happy little burble as his fingers waved, just a little bit, blowing a spit bubble and sighing happily. He didn't cry or anything else, just settled quietly against Clark's chest.

Clark pressed the baby close to his chest, sitting back in the chair and wrapping the blanket warmer around his tiny body, settling him close to his shoulder and upper chest to keep him warm.

Chloe was watching from the doorway. She had her purse in arm, two grocery bags on the floor beside her, but she didn't say a word as she watched the emotions playing over her ashimel's face, so heartbreaking she wanted to cry herself, even as she looked up at Whitney. She shook her head at Shayla, still standing on the porch behind her, and stepped out, making a louder noise as she opened the door again. "Hello, we're home!"

Clark jerked a little, swallowing and clearing his throat, keeping his head ducked until he had control of himself before handing John back to Whitney.

Whitney took John back and quieted his cries softly, soothing him until he fell silent again, and then gently put him back in the bassinet. "Hey, baby!" He put his hand on Clark's shoulder and squeezed gently. "Look who came to see us!"

"Little girl arms getting stretched!" Shay yelled over Chloe's shoulder. "Make way!!!"

"Hi, Clark!" Chloe cried in happiness, reaching over to kiss him as he stood, then give Whitney a kiss too as she headed for the kitchen. "There's more in the car, get it Whit?" She grinned at her ashimel. "Hi, Clark! Get the baby, will you? Shay! Careful with the eggs!"

Clark blinked as Whitney left out the front door, Chloe and Shayla went into the kitchen, as he was left looking at the bassinet, where John was fussy again. He swallowed, looking at both doors, praying someone would save him, but when no one came and Johns cries escalated into sobs, he leaned down and picked the baby up again, setting him on his shoulder.

The baby fell silent almost immediately.

Shay gave Chloe a subtle elbow to the ribs when John's crying stopped.

Whitney groaned. "Me, the pack mule," he lamented.

The warm, solid chest was back, and John got quiet. Not quite like his daddy's but good enough, and his fingers waved, grabbing a handful of Clark hair and holding on.

Chloe smiled sweetly at Shayla as Whitney came lugging the groceries in the kitchen, and Chloe began to put them away. She spoke loudly. "Clark, would you and Lex would come over tonight for supper, and stay the night?"

Clark swallowed down at the baby, looking up, then down, then back up. "Uh... I'll… have to ask Lex."

"Call him!" Shayla chirped. "They've got a phone, and that way I can help her lay out the food to thaw and I can meet A--uh, a friend!"

Whitney kicked Shayla in the shin. "Or you could butt the fuck out."

"OWWWW!!!" Shay howled, hopping on her other leg.

John gave a little burp, and shifted on Clark's shoulder, tightening his grip when the crazy people yelled.

Stay the night... meant sex. Stay the night meant sleeping with John a few rooms away. Stay the night meant maybe they weren't furious with him. He felt strange and weird and tingly all over, but he prodded the link with his lover. Lex?

Yes? Lex answered immediately, stroking Clark's link with his own as he went through the mail, just delivered.

Chloe wants us to come eat dinner, and stay the night. What should I tell her?

Tell her I'll be over at six, and I'll pack a bag before I come, Lex answered. Unless you don't want to stay, in which case, tell her that I've got a lot of work to do, and can we do it tomorrow night?

Clark shifted the baby a little, closer to his chest, and looked down at his tiny face. Whatever you think.

I... Lex paused, his eyes widening just a little as he looked at the letter addressed to him. ... think you should do what you want, Clark. If you feel comfortable, then yes, we should. If you don't, then no, we shouldn't.

Okay. Then… pack a bag. If things get too hard, we'll go home. Okay? Clark stroked one tiny baby cheek, and rose his voice. "We'll stay, Chloe. Shay can, too, if she wants." An open ended invitation to food and sex if he ever offered one.

Shayla whimpered.

Very, very loudly.

"Dammit. If you had asked me *any* other night," she said with a little whine. "Can I come by for dessert? Cause... I've got something going on that * can't dump, but I really want to spend time with you guys outside of my hospital room," she asked.

I'll pack it, Lex promised, stroking his aushna's thoughts gently with his own. And I'll be over as soon as I can.

Chloe smiled as her ashimel came into the doorway, and took the baby from his arms because he looked so nervous that any moment he was going to drop. She cradled the infant to her breast and reached up to give Clark's lips a peck, before smiling wickedly at Shayla. "Shayla, did I just hear you turn down sex with us?"

Clark smiled a little at Chloe's kiss, shyly, and looked up at Shay before he started helping Whitney put away the groceries.

She groaned. Again. "No, you heard me ask to show up late, because there's something I've got planned--and no, I can't tell you, because it's a surprise--and tonight's the only night I've got to take care of it," she said with a whimper.

Clark glanced up, feeling a little more like himself, but still desperately shy and uneasy around his sha'nauch to be totally comfortable. He swallowed, clearing his throat to catch their attention, and said, "Lex has had a bit of a growth spurt."

"Above or below the belt?" Whitney asked. "Below the belt we knew about and, Chloe? Honey? You're going to love the new Lex." He gave a lecherous grin.

"No… I mean all over the belt," Clark said, lips turning down a little. "We think its because his body is trying to conform itself a little more to mine. He's gained almost three inches... everywhere."

Chloe perked up at that, eyes widening. "Love the new Lex? Really? What's new about him? Has he grown hair again? Has--" Then she got it, and her eyes went into twin ovals. "Are you serious?"

"Great. Now I'm not only the shortest, I'm the super-shortest, because I'm still the only one under six feet tall," Shay pouted.

Whitney's jaw dropped. "He got taller? Like... your size taller? Jesus."

"Yeah. He was six feet before, he's about six two and a half, if not a bit bigger," Clark said, looking at Whitney shyly. "Broader shoulders, longer legs, longer--..." He blushed. "He's big all over. It's weird, I noticed it when I was hugging him and he wasn't at my shoulders."

"If he grows much more, *I'm* gonna be the short one," Whitney groused.

Clark blushed at his ashimel again--he couldn't seem to stop--and cleared his throat softly. "It's because he's my protective mate. Because... I have the... you know." He cleared his throat. "We'll see you then, Shayla? Later?"

"Believe me. You will. As soon as I can get back. Chloe, car still unlocked? I gotta grab my laptop outta the backseat." She jumped up Clark's back, wrapped her legs around his waist, and gave him a huge hug. "I'll be back, I promise."

Clark jerked when Shayla jumped him, nearly pitching over, but then grasped her legs and rump, and looked over his shoulder. "We have to talk, Shay. I offered without... without even seeing if…" He looked at Whitney and Chloe, then cast his eyes down in shame. "If they would be okay with it."

"Clark, honey? You're saying that like Shay and I haven't had sex before," Chloe tutted, gently stroking his cheek, giving him a kiss, then plopping at the table to unbutton her shirt for her son's meal.

"Come on. Walk me out to the car then, and we can talk and I can reassure you that Chloe and I have had sex before, and that Whitney has watched us," Shay said, still hanging off his back.

Clark's eyes widened, and he glanced at Whitney in jealousy for a moment before heaving Shay up higher and plunking through the house. "You really have? Honestly? Why didn't I get to watch?"

"Yes, we really have," Shay said, clinging tightly like a monkey. "She taught me how to masturbate, Whitney watched, and then... there was one time me and Chloe were having like, actual sex type sex, and Pete and Whitney watched. You were... uh, not available for consultation," she said, biting her lip softly as she remembered how upset Chloe had been because of Mar-El's death.

"You've had actual sex, and I didn't get to watch?" He glared over his shoulder. "I've always wondered what lesbian sex looked like." A pause. "Are you lesbian?"

Shay shook her head seriously, and bit Clark's nose when he looked over his shoulder at her. "I'm bisexual," she answered easily. "I'd never really... done anything, before I came here. I mean, I had boyfriends and I thought that there were some pretty girls at my old school, but then I came here. And I didn't get along with Chloe, at first, but then I did, and we became best friends, and then... there's more there. And I'm not really fighting it anymore."

Clark felt a little lift in his heart… something like pride. "That's really good, Shay. You shouldn't fight against who you are, you know? You should just be, and enjoy it. If it helps you, it took me a long time to figure out I was gay."

She nodded as she ducked her head to the side, so she didn't get clobbered on the door frame. "That's kind of what I'm doing. I'm just being, and not worrying about classifying myself right now. I know I'll have to later, but for right now, I don't think it's anything that I'm required to do."

"Maybe tonight will help you," Clark offered, glancing at her shyly as he went down the steps. "A little bit of both, you know? I don't think Chloe is going to be up to much--I swear, I think she's sworn off the penis after she gave birth--so... are you ready for three guys who all want you and each other at the same time?"

She nodded, shyly. "Yeah. I'm ready for that," she said, and buried her face against the back of his neck. "I'm so ready for that you wouldn't believe," she said, muffled. "I've had such a crush on AJ it's not funny."

Clark's lips twitched, just softly. "He's mine, woman. You'll only get him if he agrees." He shifted her down onto the pavement. "We'll have to talk about it, though, cause... it's hard to explain. Sex with us isn't like… just group sex. There's... it works, because Whitney and Chloe, they are mine, as well. I want you to be mine, because I love you, and you're one of my best friends."

Shay blushed down from the roots of her hair to her toes. "Yeah? I mean, I know it's special with you guys, which is why it's even specialer that you'd let me help, but... yeah. You're one of my best friends, too, and you've been family to me, too, and I'd be honored if you did want to include me." She gave a little grin. "And yes, Lex is yours, and I promise, I won't hit on him too much."

His lips twitched. "We'll talk more, tonight. Tell Chloe and Whitney I'll be back by seven with Lex, okay?" he kissed her forehead, stroking his hands down the sides of her head...and then took it a step more.

He tilted her head back, and brushed his lips across hers, pouty and tasting of sugar cane, before letting her go. "See you then."

Shayla shivered when Clark's lips slid across hers, feeling little shocks jumping over her skin and causing the hair on the back of her neck to prickle and rise. "I'll be waiting," she said with a soft pant, wrapping her arms around his waist and squeezing.

 

-fin-

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