The Memoirs

He wasn’t listening. Period. Not at all. Not at the tone of voice the men around him were using, not the nurses peeking in from time to time. Just his lover, soft and quiet and so still. God, why was he so still? He had a grip of that slim hand, and for the first time, realized what his lover had gone through when he'd been shot. The terror, the uncertainty, and seeing the person you care for more then the world lying there, unconscious, not knowing if he would live or die.

 

And that same thought kept revolving, over and over and over over the hours that followed. Dark night turned to early morning...turned to noon, and he didn’t move. Not to pee, or eat, or sleep. Nothing. Just sat there, and rubbed his lovers fingers whenever he breathed a little deeper then he had been, when Dominic’s own imagination saw him moving.

 

He had his legs pulled up, socked feet tucked close, and the chair was facing his lover. The cool fingers were in both of his, rubbing them, warming them now whenever he could.

 

And he didn’t say a word.

 

Lex moved back to his father's bedside, though over the next four hours he'd stood in nearly every position possible in the room.  He'd made phone calls, told the staff what had happened and ordered the mansion to be sealed off.  He kept watching his father, waiting for him to wake up, breathe, move, just do something.  He paced, he made more phone calls, and he was slowly and quietly losing his mind.

 

He didn't bother speaking to Dominic, finally lighting on a chair and steepling his fingers over his lips.  Four hours, and nothing.  Lionel should have been awake by now.

 

Four and a half hours... five hours.  Nothing.

 

There was a great deal of darkness all around him, and he didn't even know if his eyes were open, closed, or otherwise.  Pain was a part of him, he couldn't breathe for the thing in his throat, his chest was a sheet of fire, and it was noisy.

 

::Cough.  Choke.::

 

Daydreaming. About he and his lover, the faceless little girl they would someday have. Weekend getaways, car seats and bottles and bags. And it made his heart ache.

 

Then suddenly, the fingers in his tensed, and their was a heavy cough from... from his lover. Oh, good Jesus. His feet felt to the ground with a thud and he leaned forward in the chair, eyes wide as he watched his love. Oh, God. Oh, God, baby, please breathe. "L... Lionel? Lionel?" He turned red eyes towards the man’s son. "Get the doctor. Hurry, go get the doctor now." And back. "Lionel? Beloved, open your eyes....let me see you, baby, my lovely, open your eyes."

 

Voice.  Yes, lovely voices.  Not quite so noisy now.  He was sure that his eyes opened, sure that he lifted his lids because he felt the leaden things move, but there was still darkness everywhere.  But the noises, the beeps and thuds and whooshes were sorting themselves out.  He turned his head towards the voice, unable to speak around the tube taped in his throat.

 

Lex jerked his head up as soon as Dominic looked at him, and he nearly bowled over an orderly as he ran down the hallway.  "Doctor Lowens!" he bellowed, at the top of his lungs.

 

"Lionel… Lionel." Choked, and the tears filled his eyes as he struggled to speak around them, pressing the back of his lovers hand to his mouth, over and over. Those deep chocolate eyes, and he leaned in to press kisses against each cheek, trembling hard and overjoyed. "Lovely, I’m here, I’m here, lovely. You're awake... give me a sign you can hear me, please. Squeeze my hand if you can hear me."

 

Squeezing.  That was easy enough to do as he felt the hand in his.  After several tries, Lionel's hand closed around Dominic's, squeezing tightly once before relaxing again against the blankets.  His tongue worked against the tube, trying to force it out, to breathe around it.  He felt his chest rising and falling, knew it was because of the machine, and tried to relax.

 

And he was so proud of his lover. So calm and cool, when Dominic had awoken screaming. He squeezed the fingers back, choked noises coming from him, and kept speaking. "Yes, yes my love, yes, you did wonderful. You're in a hospital, beloved, and you're alright, you'll be fine, alright? Don’t worry, you'll be alright, beloved, I swear, and I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere."

 

And she walked in. Toni had been switched with Dr Snobalot as the primary care physician for Mr. Luthor until his doctor was flown in from Italy, where he'd been at a conference. So she stepped in, smiling at the two men who in her mind were really one. "Ahh. Mr. Luthor, its nice to see you awake. Can you hear me alright?" She leaned over the bed, looking into his eyes....and knew, immediately, that something was wrong. The pupils were too small for the light in the room, and she frowned as she took unclipped her pen light from her coat pocket. "We're going to get you all fixed up in just a moment. For now, I want you to squeeze your fingers. Can you do that for me?"

 

Lionel's hand tightened on Dominic's, acknowledging that he heard the speech.  Dominic was there, and then suddenly he remembered.  His ring was gone; he'd taken it off and Dominic had taken it.  But Dominic was here, and Lionel held onto him as tightly as he could.  His heart was pounding, thudding in his ears as he heard another person come on, and he turned his head to the direction of her voice.  Nodding that yes, he heard her, Lionel tried closing his eyes, but it didn't make a difference in the darkness of the room.  The tube was deep in his throat, and he waited as calmly as he could for it to be removed.

 

"Good job. You're doing wonderful, Mr. Luthor." She moved to the bottom of the bed, pulling the blankets up to expose his feet. "Can you wriggle your toes for me? Both feet? Wriggle them just a bit for me."

 

"I’m here, see? Its Dr. Braxton, Lionel, baby, she’s helping you. She’s a good doctor, listen to her, okay? I’m right here, I’m not leaving." He clasped both hands over Lionel’s in his hand, running his fingers over the cool digits in his hand.

 

He would have glared at Dominic if he could have gotten up the strength; even half-drugged, he comprehended the simple directions.  A pause as he tried to remember what wiggling was, and then... yes.  There they went.  At least his body still seemed to be listening to his brain.  First the toes of the left foot wiggled, and then a moment later, the toes of the right foot.

 

"Good! See? I knew you were too stubborn to be paralyzed." She smiled a little, but she meant it, and walked back up, lifting an eyelid that was at half mast, and shining the light in on it.

 

His lover hadn’t looked at him yet. God. What was he doing here? Oh, God. "You still wriggle with the best of them."

 

"Alright. Well, that’s done and over, lets start getting these machines off you, shall we? Do you feel you're ready for that, Mr. Luthor? Squeeze my fingers for yes, and don’t for no." She took his free hand in hers.

 

Lionel squeezed as firmly as he could as soon as he felt her cooler hand touch his.  He wanted the machines out of his room.  He tugged on Dominic's hand, verifying to himself that his love was still there.  When he spoke, Lionel turned his head in the general direction that he thought Dominic was in, and forced his eyes to open.

 

And nothing but darkness.  But he wasn't worried.  Yet.  He'd ask for a light to be turned on as soon as the tube was out of his throat, and he'd be able to see for himself that Dominic was by his side.

 

"Yes, I’m here, I’m here beloved. Right here. Its alright, I’m not leaving." Softly, gentling running his fingers over the bare face, not letting his eyes see the cuts and abrasions and stitches. Not yet. God, not yet.

 

"There we are. Well, alright, then." She began to untape wires from his skin as easily as possible, and leaned over him a bit, detaching the tube from the machine and waited for him to take a breathe on his own. Just to make sure.

 

Lionel tried to draw in a deep breath, and immediately coughed.  He felt more than saw the doctor moving close to him, and tried his best to snarl.  "Do not... patronize me... Doctor."  His voice was raspy and his throat was sore and burning, but there it was.  He took a second, shorter breath that passed with nearly no problem.

 

Alright. There he was, and she took a breath of relief. For a while there, she felt like she'd lost the old coot, who she felt she knew through Dominic. And in a very real way, she did, because Dominic was Lionel, and Lionel was Dominic. "There you are." And she chuckled a little, finishing taking out the tubes that weren’t necessary anymore. "You gave us a scare, Mr. Luthor."

 

Strength. Somewhere, Dominic was finding strength, and he was smiling as well, rubbing his fingers over his lovers hand as he looked into sightless eyes...and just knew. He knew what he'd done to his lover, and his heart was open and bleeding all over his chest "She's not patronizing, beloved. Its just been a rough bit of a day."

 

"Rough day?  I... hadn't noticed."  Lionel swallowed hard around the rasp in his throat.  "Might I trouble you for water, Doctor?  Or barring that... perhaps some light?"  It was a hard struggle, but he lifted his free hand and brought it over, finding Dominic's by instinct and trapping the clutching hands between his own.

 

Silence. He swallowed heavily and grasped the hands, trying so hard not to cry but it was getting harder with the minute. "Beloved...beloved, the sun is streaming i-in through the window."

 

She frowned deeply and looked down at her patients lover, discouraging glance, and spoke instead, clip board in hand. "Mr. Luthor, you were in a car accident. Do you remember at all?"

 

Lionel blinked, and suddenly his drugged mind made the connection.  "I'm blind."

 

"Not blind." Firmly, and she sat on the edge of his bed. She would have asked Dominic to leave at this juncture, but no way would he have. "Mr. Luthor, you were in a bad car accident. You’ve been unconscious for some four odd hours, and before the surgery another 5. Its Christmas day, one fifteen on the dot. Early this morning, the doctors had to go in and fix some of the damage caused by the car... I’m sorry to say you no longer have a left kidney. It was removed, so you might live. And you can live just fine on one for the next thirty years." Another nod. "Your air bag deployed too early, causing some head trauma after you hit the steering wheel. Theirs some bad swelling along the frontal lobe, and we're optimistic once it goes down, you will get your vision back. " And now she spoke as someone who cared. "I’ve seen 50 cases, thereabouts, just like yours. And every single time, the person got some amount of vision back." She swallowed. "The good thing is, you can move your fingers and toes. Any numbness along your back?"

 

"Some amount, Doctor?"  He considered her question a long moment, and shook his head no.  "No, no numbness."  A deep breath.  "How much--or little--is 'some amount,' Doctor?"  His fingers held tight to Dominic's.

 

"Two of the fifty lost color vision. Some experienced prolonged blurriness that eventually went away. Little things like that. But none stayed blind, Mr. Luthor." A nod.

 

He didn’t say a word, rubbing the slender fingers in his and keeping them tight in his own, staying silent as the doctor spoke.

 

Lionel nodded his head.  Colorblindness he could survive with.  "Is there anything else I should know about, Doctor?"  Despite the exhaustion that pulled at him, Lionel started to sit up on the edge of the bed.

 

"Aht!" He pushed his lover back immediately, not even letting him CONSIDER getting up. "No, no. Beloved, you have to stay laying down... you have to rest. Beloved, you've had a rough few hours. Please, angel, stay still." Looking into sightless eyes, and his heart wrenched.

 

"He's right, Mr. Luthor. Despite the burst of energy you seem to be having, you have just gone through a massive ordeal. Rest, while you can. There will be plenty of time for moving later." She nodded, and stood. "If you need me, either of you, I’m right down the hall. Stay lying down, Mr. Luthor. Get some rest." She pet his arm, and was gone.

 

Lionel reached out with his hand, found Dominic's arm, followed it over his shoulder and quietly touched his face.  "You're here."

 

"I’m here." Pushed the tears away before he felt it, and there he sat, with his lover lying before him, blind and walking away from deaths door...and he was the reason. He was the cause. He was why his lover was lying here without the most precious thing in the world. His sight. "Ho… how can you ever forgive me."

 

The searching hand faltered a moment, and then cupped his face before falling down, unable to hold up any longer.  "There's nothing you should ask forgiveness for, Dominic, we've been through this.  Don't... apologize."  His sentences were broken up by raspy little coughs.

 

"Tell me how to make this better for you. Would you like more blankets? The nurse is coming in with more water, beloved, tell me what you want and I'll get it for you." he caught the falling hand and laced the fingers through his, kissing it three… four times, and pressing it to his face. "Tell me what to do for you, beloved. Lex is here. Lex, he's sitting outside with Clark. Would you like to speak to him?"

 

"You can... give me my ring back."  Softly spoken.  "I need it, Dominic."

 

Heart. Smashed. "I love you. I’m so sorry for before, a… and this..." is my fault. But you don’t need to hear that now. "Things shouldn’t be like this. I want desperately to be your husband. Give me the chance again, and I'll never forsake you again."

 

"No... no.  You don't... you don't understand.  My ring.  The one you took from me... you can give it back to me."  Eyes that couldn't see still turned towards his lover.  "Please."

 

“Y...yes." And he slipped the ring he'd set against his own off, instead sliding it onto his lovers hand and squeezing the fingers tightly. "I only… because I thought you wanted Jonathan, and... I was... you don’t need this right now. Tell me what you need my love, and I'll get it for you."

 

"I just need you, Dominic.  Your love."  He was so tired and he let his eyes close as he leaned back against the pillows.  "I remember thinking... you were going to kill me... for dying."

 

"I would have bloody brought you back and beat the shit out of you." Said in that same soft tone, and he kissed the back of his hand tenderly, then leaned in and pressed a kiss to a bare cheek, and soft lips, and then each eye lid. "I love you. I wont leave...I'll be here when you wake. Sleep now, my angel."

 

"I'm not  ::cough:: tired," Lionel protested.  "Tell Lex... he needs to remember... Bruce Wayne... conference call... tomorrow night."  Then his eyes fluttered open again, though the darkness didn't change.  "Where's... the baby?"

 

"Work will wait." Firmly but gently, and he kissed him again, tenderly, just a gentle touch of lips. "Baby? The...oh, Shane? At home with Graham and Lindy at the moment." A little chuckle he didn’t feel. "He's not stopped crying since you left." He was going to choke on his voice, and he knew it.

 

"I want to see him," Lionel said quietly.  "He never... cries with me.  He's... a good boy."  His hand reached out for water, and he hoped to find it by touch.  "Work... waits for no man, Jiminy."  He stopped searching for water, and instead found Dominic's lips.  "You will have to take things over; Lex will need help that only you can give him.  He's... too proud to ask."

 

"D...Dammit, Lionel. Don’t. Stop it. You're going to make it through this." Desperation in his voice, gripping his hand and shaking his head. "You’re going to--"

 

"Hello, I’m sorry." A pudgy young nurse walked in with pitcher and glass on a tray, setting it down, and after smoothing a few blankets, off she went.

 

He kissed the fingers they smoothed over his face, not caring that the nurse had partially witnessed it, and instead rubbed his lips over the fingertips, and held his hand hard. "I love you. I love you so. But you're not leaving quite yet, beloved. You've too much to do with me, do you understand?"

 

He poured a glass quickly and gently led it to his lovers lips. "Here… water, baby. Open up...be careful, don’t choke."

 

Lionel raised his head enough to sip the water slowly, swallowing small trickles until his throat was no longer quite as raw.  He finished nearly half the glass before pushing it gently away, but keeping his hand tight on Dominic's wrist.  "I don't intend... on leaving you.  For Jonathan, or dying, or anything else.  But if I can't see... then I won't have you burdened with taking care of me."  He struggled to sit up, and winced as several of his incisions screamed at him.  "I'll be back... when I've learned to be a man again."

 

"Bloody stubborn, stupid man. I have let you see the most weak, dependant, cowardly part of me when I was in your exact place. Do you think I would push you away, or be burdened with you, in your time of need?" He kept pressing kisses to his face. "Stay still. Stop moving, you'll open wounds back up beloved. I adore you. Let me take care of you."

 

With the last of his strength, Lionel brought his hand up and touched Dominic's face, holding his lover's cheek against his own until he could turn and truly kiss him.

 

And he pressed his lips to his, as soft and gentle as he could, careful not to touch, careful not to pull out IV wires, or the wires on his nose, or the heart monitors and stitches. Gentle, gentle as he could, and he lay his cheek against Lionel’s softly for a moment...and as it was like him, gave him something to smile about. "Its very good you're blind, love. I don’t think you'd like a certain thing too much at the moment."

 

"What... would I not like?"  Lionel let his hand slide back down to the blankets, stubbornness and strength exhausted.

 

And whatever energy his love didn’t have, he supplied. He led his lover back down, arranging him and the pillows underneath his head. Folded the blanket softly about him just so...then tucked his feet into the blankets and sheets, entrapping his toes to keep them warm in the frigid hospital air. Arranged the IVs and such to give him the most comfort, and worked without a word until his love was as comfortable as he could be. "I’m afraid, beloved, your vanity is going to take a vicious blow. Are you sure you're ready for this?"

 

"Stop mother henning me, Dominic."  The words would have been fearsome at any other time, but the words lacked his usual authority.

 

He didn’t say a word, just arranging his lovers hair just so, and then finally, sat back down. "Your beard is kaput."

 

"My... beard?"  He rubbed his chin against his shoulder.  "Fuck," he swore softly.  "Do you realize what a royal bitch it is going to be to regrow that?  I cannot believe these people had the audacity to remove my beard without consultation!"

 

A sad shake of his head, and he could barely force the smile. "Its gone. Though I must say, you look quite handsome, what with the white hospital smock and the IV's. It could be a fashion statement, my love." A serious nod, and he pressed his mouth to the scowling mouth. "Look at you. Hours out of surgery and already you're angry with everyone. I love you so."

 

Lionel returned the kiss gladly, hungrily.  "I love you, Jiminy."  Then, a belated bell went off in his head.  "Christmas... I'm sorry.  You shouldn't be here on Christmas... you should be with your family."

 

“One more word, and I swear, my foot, up your ass, and I can guarantee you wont like it." He growled it, and tucked him in again...the rush of energy after he woke up normal, or so Toni said, and he basked in his lovers warmth as he shared his own. "As long as I’m with you, I don’t care where we are."

 

"When you... go home tonight... look... in my briefcase."  He swallowed, and rested a moment.  "There is... in the front pocket, a black box.  Your present."

 

"I’m sorry." A moment, quiet. "I’m sorry about what I said, about Jonathan. I want to be by your side...I don’t want him to ever have you again. But I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did...you know I still want you, right?"

 

"I wondered, when you took my ring, but when I woke up... found you here beside me... I knew.  I shouldn't have ever doubted you, and I am sorry for that."  It was painful to shift in the bed but he did so, turning as much onto his side as he could to relieve the slight pain in his back.  "I want you more than you know."

 

"I love you, my angel. So much. There are times I don’t even realize how much I do, until I look at your smiling face and I find myself set on the path I’ve searching for my entire life. You look at me, and I see the meaning of what living truly is. You are the joy and the sorrow, and the laughter and the memories. You are the flow of my life, and even when my stream dries and its time for me to go, I will know what it was to lie next to you, and listen to you breathe. To touch your face, feel it under my fingers, to see your face and know that in it, my future was being spelled out smile for smile. My love, we don’t need a priest to tell us that. You are mine, and I am yours, and so it will be for as long as we both live. And never, could I ever, leave you...for leaving you would be like leaving myself, as well."

 

Lionel's fingers slipped over Dominic's face, wiping away the wetness he found there, not realizing there were tears on his own face as well.  "I will always be yours, Dominic.  Yours... and none other."  He moved his hand so that the ring that matched Dominic's rubbed against both their skins.  "I promise I will always love you, for as long as I am here."  He paused.  "I promise I won't kill your family."  A raspy chuckle, and then a serious grip of Dominic's hand.  "I promise that I will try to be as good a man as you deserve."

 

"You don’t have to promise not to be a serial killer." Softly, chuckling as well and pressing his fingers close to his lovers. "You are my lover...but above all...you're my best friend. So don’t go and do something stupid like die, alright?" He pressed his cheek to Lionel’s once more. "Now sleep. Get your rest… you'll need it, when you wake."

 

Lionel nodded, and settled back down in the bed.  "Don't forget... to bring the baby."

 

"I wont. Sleep now, beloved." Gentle, pressing kisses to his forehead. "Sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."

 

Lionel closed his eyes, and slid down lower on the pillow.  "Have them... discharge me," was the last thing he said, head rolling gently to the left, towards his lover, as he could no longer fight the exhaustion.

 

He didn’t say anything more and just gently stroked the hair from his eyes, pressing tender, soft kisses to each eyelid...forehead...cheeks and lips, before lying his head on his upraised hand, and watched over him.

 

And outside, in the hall, he watching his own lover. They'd staked out twin deep chairs in front of the room, and coffee and donut bags littered the table beside them. In his hands was a magazine... but his eyes were on Lex, watching him with quiet strength as the words between the two men in the room quieted.

 

Lex had been staring at the same cup of coffee for the last two hours, since his father had woken up and he'd gone to get the doctor.  One hand played idly with the silver chain around his neck, fingertips rolling and tracing the knotwork pendant as he listened, and forced himself not to pace.  "Is Dad asleep yet?" Lex asked, hoping Clark could take a silent peek into the room.

 

X-ray vision told him yes, and he blinked it away as his eyes roved to his lovers fidgeting fingers. Never, in all the time that he'd known him, had he done these things… but damned if he knew better then to disrupt it. "He's asleep." Softly, and he smiled a little. "I think Dominic is too."

 

"Blind, Clark," he said, as though he hadn't already said it a thousand times before.  "My father is blind."

 

"You heard what the doctor said. Its only temporary, baby...its not gonna last forever, you know?" He offered his fingers. "Its going to be okay. I promise you. He's a strong guy, Lex, you’ve said it yourself. He's gonna make it through."

 

"When I was younger, after my mother died... I used to wish that something like this would happen to Dad.  Put him at my mercy, you know?  I could... I could leave him alone when he was hurting, and maybe he'd know what I was feeling... and I know it's absurd, you don't need to tell me, but I can't help but think that this is my fault."

 

"What?" His brows scrunched and he tossed the magazine on the table, leaning forward, elbows on knees, and reaching for his hand. "Lex, you know better then that. You had nothing to do with this...no one did. Just the patch of ice he hit, that’s it. You cant let yourself feel guilty for thoughts you had when you were 12 years old. You're ten years older, and you know better then that, now."

 

Lex took his lover's hand gladly.  "I know, Clark.  But I can't help it; this is everything that I ever wished for... just like I wished not to be sick, like I wished to have someone love me... like I wished to be rid of my hair."  He looked up.  "What if this is just another one of my wishes coming true?"

 

"Lex, I cant believe you, the most scientifically inclined person I’ve ever met, would even consider it as a possibility." Trying to turn his mind away from that, let him think something else. "Your dad got into an accident, because from what I’ve gathered, he got mad at Dominic and vice versa. He left in a huff, and bam. Here we are. Don’t beat yourself up over it....he's going to be okay. Because he has to be."

 

"And Dominic never told me what they fought about."  Lex gripped Clark's hands tightly, giving them a small, thankful shake.  "You're right.  He has to be.  Because you and I both said so.  And Dominic gave his word.  He won't break it."  Which... reminded him.  "Clark... fuck.  You and I... we need to talk about Dominic, by the way."

 

"What? Did we have sex with him too?" Wry blink at him, and he laced Lex's fingers through his, tugging him until he got up and moved to share the very small space of the seat with him. "And damn right, we said so. And because we said so, he'll be alright."

 

Lex gave a wan smile in return.  "No, I did, a long time ago.  But that's not what we need to talk about."  He settled against Clark, almost curled completely into his lover's lap.  "He knows about you."  A very, very deep breath.  “And so does my father."

 

He jumped away like a terrified rabbit, literally bounding off the seat and dropping his lover with a thud into it. Fingers went into his hair, fisted, caught, and he had the look of the most terrified, running animal about to be eaten whole. "W... wh... what? What? T... they… what?"

 

Lex got up from his chair, and put his hands on Clark's shoulders.  "They know.  Dominic saw you, in the plant.  Whatever you did to Nixon's gun, he saw it.  He saw you take the bullet, I don't know.  But he knew.  And he told my father.  I didn't tell him, but he figured it out when he came downstairs and saw you... under the influence of the red meteor rocks.  When you ran out."

 

Somewhere. Somehow, to make Dominic disappear. Anything to keep him quiet, and he couldn’t stop moving, jumping and averting his eyes and shifting from foot to foot restlessly. "They’re going to tell, and I’m going to be dead."

 

"No.  No they're not."  Lex slid his hand over his head.  "Dominic's given his word that he won't tell my father, and he's kept it.  And Lionel's got no proof."

 

"Lex, its not...." He swallowed. "I trust your dad, and Dominic. But...the less people who know about me the better. I don’t want all of you to get hurt, because some freak decides to try and torture you to find out information. I... I want people I love to be blissfully ignorant… you know?"

 

Lex shrugged.  "I agree completely, and I was less than ecstatic myself when I found out that Dominic knew, and I was livid when I found he'd told my father.  Nevertheless, it's been done, and I don't know of a way to undo it.  We just have to make sure nobody else finds out."

 

Dominic opened the door, stepped out… eyes dark in his face, rimmed with red. He hadn’t slept since his lover had come home, and it was showing, badly, on his body. He wasn’t the young chicken he used to be anymore, dammit. "'lo. Would one of you mind desperately to run to my flat and get a few clothes for me?"

 

Lex squeezed his lover's shoulder.  "Dominic, you look like hell.  Let me take you back to your apartment.  You can get some sleep and I'll call you when Dad wakes back up."

 

"I’m not leaving." Finality in his voice. "If I can’t bother either of you, then I suppose I shall rot." And he turned, and walked back in.

 

A little, tiny smile as his throat worked heavily...leaning in and kissing Lex's temple gentle. "I can go. I...I gotta get my head together.  You stay here with them, okay?"

 

"Clark... I promise you, it will all be okay."  He caressed his lover's cheek softly.  "I'll go bully him into sleeping while you're gone."

 

"I..I know." But he didn’t say how strange he'd been feeling lately; the mood swings, the quiet periods, the sleepless nights. None of it, now, to worry his lover. "I'll be back in a while." And he turned, and was gone.

 

"Hurry--back," Lex said to the empty room.  He realized that he hadn't told Clark what Dominic's address was, but then chuckled softly.  A run to Smallville would take his lover all of an hour, if that.  Straightening his shoulders, he pushed open the door to his father's room.  "Clark's gone to get your clothes, Dominic.  You need to rest."

 

"I’m alright." Quiet, and his fingers were linked with Lionel’s… thumb tracing the dark veins along the back of his hand, the IV slid into one of them, and each large nail his lover used to tease him with.

 

"Bullshit you are; I've looked better coming home from a three-day drunk."  Lex crossed his arms over his chest.  "You're not going to do my father any good if you end up in a bed three doors down suffering from exhaustion, dehydration, and malnutrition.  And if you don't think I'd have a doctor on your ass in five minutes, please remember that I, too, am still answerable to that man right there."

 

And he was grinning, gaze flickering up to the incredulous young man. "If I didn’t know any better, I would say you were mama henning me. Hah. And Lionel says I haven’t taught you a thing." Another smile before down, sweeping his eyes over his man, making sure everything was a it was supposed to be.

 

Lex picked up the phone by the bedside, and his fingers paused over the keypad.  "You can either get some rest... or I can call Rosalyn."

 

Sudden seriousness. "You call my mother and I will nail your pasty bald ass to the wall."

 

"Go ahead; it won't be the first time I've been thrown against something."  His eyes narrowed.  "But she'll be here in a few hours and you'll be getting the rest you need so that you can see my father through this."

 

"I cant leave. I'll shower here… I slept a bit ago. I’m alright, Lex. Don’t take him away from me, not now." Quietly, not meeting his face as he studied Lionel’s fingers. Such beautiful, strong hands.

 

"Look at yourself in the mirror, Dominic!"  Lex hunted around the bathroom until he came up with a handheld mirror and shoved it in Dominic's face.  "LOOK!  I'm not trying to take him away from you.  I'm trying to make sure that you'll be able to be here for him when he needs you."

 

He looked away, the hard emotion deep in his heart wrenching to be free. "I’m not leaving. You like it, or you don’t, but frankly, I could care less. I’m staying here, so he can hear my voice, and ask for me if he needs me."

 

Lex put the mirror down on the bedside table and moved to crouch in front of Dominic's chair.  "You either go to sleep in this chair on your own, or so help me, I will break my fist over your jaw putting you to sleep myself."

 

"Try it. And you'll find yourself in a bed in the emergency room." Dark warning. "I’m a grown man, Lex. Don’t sit here and presume to tell me what I do and do not need and what I should and should not do. Nothing, absolutely nothing, is going to stand in my way; not you, not my mother, not Jesus Christ incarnated. I will sit here, until Lionel is well enough to be without me for a while, but not until then.  And if you try to take me away from the man I love, so help me you'll wish to God you hadn’t stood in my way."

 

"Get it through that thick skull of yours, Dominic!  Nobody is trying to take you away from him!  Christ Jesus, you're a stubborn fucker!"  Lex raked his fingers over his head, wishing for once he had his father's hair.  "What I am telling you to is sleep. While he is sleeping.  Because if you don't, the next time he needs you, you're going to fall asleep on him."  He shook Dominic gently by the shoulders.  "I'll not be the one to explain to that man why you've keeled over in the middle of caring for him."

 

"Gentlemen... please.  There are injured people here trying to sleep."  A soft rasp from the bed.

 

"I...baby." He gasped, eyes roving from Lex's to his lovers, and the fingers he had around Lionel’s tightened. His entire body language changed in an instant, fingers reaching out to stroke the hair from his eyes. "I’m sorry, beloved, its just Lex and I as usual. Are you alright? Do you need anything? I got an extra blanket to keep your legs warm...are you feeling any warmer then before?"

 

Lionel didn't bother to open his eyes.  "I'm as well as the situation will allow, Dominic.  Stop mothering me; I won't stand for it.  If you want to mother someone, mother Lex."  A soft snort.  "I thought I heard my son's dulcet tones."

 

Lex watched quietly as Dominic turned to tend his father, and accept the gentle scolding.  It was a shock, the complete change that came over him.  "Yes, Dad, you did."

 

"I'll mother you if I damn well please, and you'll like it, too." A grump but it was good humored, and he tucked the blanket in closer to his love. "Don’t worry about it. Just sleep, lovely one. You're scheduled for a few scans later on this evening, and I doubt you really want to be sleepy for them. Your little scientists mind will enjoy it immensely. But for now...rest, alright? I'll be here when you wake."

 

"Ah, yes.  My life's ambition, to be the world's guinea pig."  He fussed and untucked the blanket that Dominic had just tucked in.  "Why, may I ask, did I awaken to the sound of you and my son threatening each other, yet again?  Must I have orderlies confine you to separate wings of the hospital?"

 

"Its nothing for you to worry over, baby." A solid nod, tucking it in right after him and gently sweeping loose strands of hair from his face with the barest of fingertips. "Just rest, now. Get some sleep. And besides, you're a cute guinea pig."

 

"Dominic, if you tuck that blanket in one more time, I shall call in someone to break your fingers for me as I lack the strength."  Lionel fussed again as he untucked the blanket.  "I would worry less if I didn't hear raised voices, children," he chided.

 

"And if you don’t keep the blanket tucked and your arms warm, I shall be forced to go home and get my ratty Uni sweater and wrap you in it, so do be a good boy and listen to me, eh? Stubborn." But he didn’t tuck it back. He could do that later, when Lionel fell asleep again. "Their weren’t any raised voices. Were their raised voices, Lex?" Glare said 'you better say no, you little shit.'.

 

Lex opened his mouth to answer, caught the glare from Dominic, closed his mouth, and composed a bald-faced lie.  "There weren't any raised voices, Dad."

 

"I'm blind, Lex, not deaf.  Nor am I senile; please, find it in your heart not to patronize me any more than is strictly necessary."

 

"Yes, that’s enough of you." And Dominic got him comfortable again, sliding his fingers through Lionel’s free ones and squeezing. "Are you hungry, at all? Would you like something?"

 

"No, I'm not hungry.  I'd like to go home, though, as quickly as possible.  There's quite a few things that need to be done."

 

"You're quite in the position to have me beat you to a pulp, and don’t you forget it." A glare at his love. "You will not be working under my watch, thank you very much. If I get you to go home," and did he have the strength to deny his lover? God, no. "You will be in bed, asleep, resting, or listening to music. And that is all. Are we clear?"

 

"I will merely have Ms. Bird or Enrique assist me," Lionel refuted stubbornly.  "And of course there is always Lex."

 

"You are a mule, you know this, right? Ms. Bird, I’m very positive, will not only help me, but keep guard and make sure you don’t. An oh! Don’t forget I’ve got Graham and Mama! They make quite undefeatable foes when you’re running up against them." And as he spoke he was stroking Lionel’s hair with his free fingertips; an idle motion, as if to remind him his lover was still alive. "If Lex helps you, I swear on Clark’s raven head that he will find himself shipped to Belgium without a credit card in sight."

 

"And I am still master of that home, Dominic.  Ms. Bird and Enrique must listen to me if they want to keep their jobs."

 

Lex could not help the snicker.  The thought of Ms. Bird being told to do anything was... absurd.  "I have friends in Belgium, Dominic.  You can't strand me there."

 

"Suddenly seeing that the stubbornness spans generation." An eye roll for the both of them, but his concentration was on his lover. "Lionel. Get some sleep. Right now, or I'll pitch a fit."

 

"It seems to me that is what you were doing when I woke up," Lionel replied.

 

He couldn’t help it. He smiled, and leaned in to press a tender, chaste kiss against his forehead. "It was indeed. But now its not. Sleep."

 

"Dad, maybe you can get him to sleep, too.  He's got the worst circles under his eyes, and I swear to you, he looks worse than I did when I came back from Hong Kong."

 

"I do not, that’s a lie if I ever saw one!" Murderous eyes at Lex, and if Dominic could have done it silently, he would have wrung the little shits neck.

 

"Yes, you do."  Lionel brought his fingers up to trace the sunken eyes and protruding bones of Dominic's eye sockets.  "I can feel it.  Your eyes are never this deep."  He moved his hand to the middle of Dominic's forehead.  "And these lines weren't here before."  Then down to the corners of his eyes.  "Neither were these, not as deeply etched."

 

Lex was shocked into silence.  Lionel... Lionel knew Dominic's face well enough to know by touch what was wrong and what wasn't.  At that moment, Lex realized that, despite his misgivings and mistrusts and issues... this was the real thing.  That gesture, that knowledge, that was something he had with Clark.  That was something that Lionel had had with Lillian, and in that instant, Lex believed.

 

"Its not as bad as it seems, love." But he closed his eyes against his lovers touch, and his voice caught. A thousand things he wanted to say, and instead he leaned in a little closer, whispering, "Never thought we would do this every again, lovely. But I am fine. I promise. I don’t want to leave your side...what if you need me, and I’m not here? I was already not there when you needed me once before, and I wont let it ever happen again."

 

"Then don't leave my side."  Lionel gritted his teeth, turned on his side, moved as far over as he could.  Pain flared as stitches shifted, needles rolled, and tape tore, but soon there was a warm half of the bed open.

 

"Lovely! Oh, God." He was on his feet in an instant, hands on him as he rolled and trying to tug him back. "Lovely, no, y...what are you doing? God, dammit."

 

Lionel hissed as there was another flare, but it dulled quickly.  "I'm fine, Dominic."

 

He forgot Lex was there. Didn’t remember whatsoever. All he did was follow what his lover wanted, sliding onto the slim cot....afraid to hold him, afraid to hurt him in some way, and settled for pressing himself close, kissing the nape of his neck. "I love you. I love you, so much."

 

"Lex, the blankets please, on your way out.  And do be good enough to keep the doctors out."

 

"Ooh--Okay, Dad."  Lex moved quietly, pulling the blankets up over them both, laying them on Dominic's hip.  "Um... pleasant rest?"

 

Dominic was already asleep, face pressed into his lovers back, arm laced across Lionel’s hip, fingers curled tight in his.

 

Lex closed the door quietly on his way out, moving his chair in front of the door, keeping watch.  The large chair cradled Lex's body, and he quietly, slowly gave way to sleep as well.

 

 

~ * ~ 

 

Bruce's bedroom.  Heading to the large chamber with the four-poster bed, Lex in the lead of a group of four people. 

 

A blur of faces in his dreams--Clark and Whitney kissing, Whitney moaning softly as Clark fucked him.  Whitney's mouth wrapped around Lex's cock.

 

Soft body pressing into him from behind and more blond hair.  Chloe's hands on his chest, then he behind her, urging her to watch as her boyfriend got fucked.  Breasts heavy in his hands, nipples hard as his cock where it pressed against her hip.

 

His tongue in Whitney's mouth, sucking wet kisses from the submissive boy as Chloe twined around them.

 

Clark and Whitney sharing suckling kisses at her breasts as Lex kissed her neck, rocking gently against her.

 

~ * ~  

Lex jerked himself awake, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands and willing the half-erection he'd gotten to subside.  It's Chloe's fault, he mumbled to himself.  Her and her story on the chopper.  That's all this is.  Christ.

 

-fin-

 

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